"He's cheating on me again." you whined after taking another shot of soju.

"Again?" Eun Ha shouted angrily after banging down soju bottle on the table and roared tremendously. "Ah, I can't believe it! This asshole! Who did he think he is now after becoming a President?!"

People who came visiting this ahjumma stall were surprised with her sudden shout and keep looking at us. Eun Ha sometimes tends to overreact when she was slightly drunk which you find it such a burdensome and embarrassing.

You moved your head closer to her and whisper, "Ya! You don't have to be so loud," you said, in trying to shut her damn mouth.

"Alright, what he had done this time?" she blurted, tapping the bottom of the bottle to make sure nothing was left to waste. "Ahjumma, another four soju over here!" she called out the owner of this stall before focusing on you again.

You grabbed your phone besides and showed her a photo. It was taken by a fan and now it already spread all over the SNS. "He went to the club with this girl."

"Damn Jungkook! Different girl different night? He's totally a dipshit!" Eun Ha seems like she still can't get over that picture based on how long she stared at it. It was very inappropriate picture to be explained in words and you have no idea why the hell Eun Ha was so interested to see it either. You, yourself still can't ever look at it more than three seconds.

She continued, "Is he crazy? He could get STD for this,"

You were so surprised by just listening the 'STD' word. "KIM EUN HA! I got no time for your joke." You sighed, giving up with your friend. You thought maybe if you went to see Eun Ha, seeking for her advice could help you with your problem. But looks like it was totally a wrong decision.

She got mad and scolded you after. "I'm not joking either! I know he's your boyfriend alright but you should stop sleeping with him. He slept with a lot of women," Eun Ha paused unexpectedly and looking at you for a while.

"What?" you asked her when you noticed she's stop talking. Her long stare seriously crept you out.

"Did you?" she asked you, unclearly.

"Did what?" you repeated, didn't get much what she tried to say to you. You poured the soju from the bottle into your shot glass before drinking it. Ah, it always feels nice every time you went out for drinking after work.

She glared deep into your eyes, maybe trying to find the truth from yours. "Did you sleep with him since he became a damn cheater?"

You almost choked soju you just drank after hearing what Eun Ha just said to you. You groaned while rolling your eyes, "Oh gosh!"

"Ya! Answer me!" Her voice rose, angrily. Eun Ha keeps forcing you when she tried to keep your bottle away.

You reached out for her bottle and effortlessly pour it into your glass. You sighed before taking another shot. "Alright! I did sleep with him, okay. He said sorry and we back together again." You gave up and telling her the truth behind your relationship with Jungkook. Despite of him being a cheater, you have no idea why you are still sticking with this man when you just could broke up with him.

Did you still love him? Definitely you are still in love with him! He is your first love and somehow you felt like he's the one. The one that you wanted to spend of your life with. But sometimes there's a time where you actually feeling doubted about it. You don't know any more whether to keep thinking that he's the one any longer after seeing him like he already changed his mind about our relationship.

"Every time?" Eun Ha questioned you again. Seriously, Eun Ha? Since when she became an unpaid detective for your love life.

"Yes. Every time we argued, every time I caught him cheating and every time he apologized." You pointed out each finger for every fact you told to her.

Eun Ha's eyes practically bulged from their sockets when you answered her question. She folded her arms across her chest. "You are dumb, woman!"

"I know that. You don't have to remind me once again." You looked at Eun Ha with a somber expression.

The cold air blew in, you heard some customers keep calling ahjumma for extra soju and you felt amazing satisfaction as Eun Ha swore at you for your dumbness and you stared at the stars and the street lights whizzing by.

And you know at the same time as yours, Jungkook probably in the middle of fucking another girl behind your back. You have no idea why he suddenly changed his behavior and we keep arguing lately. It just started with a simple question like 'Where did you just go?', 'Why are you coming back so late?' or 'Have you eaten yet?' and then BAM! He went overreacted and gets mad on you for no reason.

"Stop controlling my life!"

"Can I just get my own free time? God, you're not my mom!"

"Stop making things complicated and go minding your own business!"

It has been months he keep acting rude with you. You just don't know why he became so much distant out of sudden. You swear you tried to hold it a lot. You learnt to be patience whenever you're facing him, facing his anger, facing how drunk he was coming back to our house and you could smell other's women fragrance on his shirt.

And what's more surprising, whenever you argued with Jungkook and ending up by asking a break-up status from him, he would become more possessive. Like totally a crazy person. He would mentioned your friend, Mark for no reason.

You admits that you quite hanging out with Mark a lot recently. But it doesn't make you and him have a thing or scandal. You didn't cheat on Jungkook with Mark and you know Jungkook acknowledged Mark is a friend of yours since you studied in Dongguk University.

Which is makes you more piss off when Jungkook always blindly accused that you already changed your heart seems he knows about Mark being an heir of one of the famous legendary luxury hotel, Raymond Hotel. You know he just jumped into a conclusion that you would leave him since Mark is a rich person.

And that's why he built JK Group. Well it started from a small company, JK Motors which it manufacturers and branding his own name for some luxury sport cars and BAM! Just only in two years, his company could gain such a huge success and Jungkook decided to take his company to the next level which was building his own legacy. The boss out of the boss. The leader who would lead all his subsidiaries company.

He created JK Group, the headquarter for all his upcoming subsidiaries which he had planned well. You know he's just being greedy and wanted more wealth. But what's happen when he became richer? Nothing good as long as you can see. He didn't becomes human, only beast who's more growing inside him.

"I love him, but he keeps cheating on me. I know he loves me. I can feel it. But I don't know what to do. It's been a lot of times, and he says he wants to stop to be with me but it's too tempting for him. Then he thinks he has to lie to keep me happy. What should I do?" you told Eun Ha sincerely. You just don't know what to do anymore. Whether to stick by his side or just leave him when you still have your chance to.

"Wow, his behavior sounds repulsive. If he loved you as much as he claimed too then cheating wouldn't be a temptation. He may not be cut out to be in a monogamous relationship and that's fine if you felt the same way, but it sounds like you don't, and you stay true to him. I think he needs to be without you to realize what he is actually losing."

You looked at Eun Ha, trying to digest what she just said. "Are you saying that I need to leave him? You mean break up with him?" You stare at your glass for a while with thousands of thoughts. Breaking up with him? Honestly, can you face it?

I think you still love me, Jungkook but we can't escape that I'm not enough for you. I knew this was going to happen. So I'm not blaming you for falling another woman. I'm not angry, either. I should be, but I'm not. I just feel pain. A lot of pain. I thought I could imagine this would hurt, but I was wrong.

Eun Ha reached out for your hand and trying to reassure you. Her face looked concern to you, making you trying gather yourself up for giving her a warm smile. "I know that it will be painful for you to put your foot down and leave, and take the chance of him not coming back to you, but what choice do you really have in this situation, Y/N? If you don't do anything about this, then he will never change his behavior... Would you want to marry or have children with him knowing that he is sleeping around on you? I would think not."

Maybe Eun Ha was right. You need to leave him for both of you and Jungkook's sake. Who knows when you leave him, situation become better? Well, does it? Or maybe it's just causing you more pain?

But for how long you must living with him like this? Just like Eun Ha said, what if you get married to him or having a child with him later? Will it makes Jungkook change? Or will it makes your life becomes more miserable?

"He may say he isn't cheating or will never again but Y/N, remember, his actions that count not the talk. I really think the only choice you have is to leave him, "set him free" so to speak and if he comes back it was "meant to be"..."

You keep looking at Eun Ha since she opened her mouth, giving advice you have been looking for. But how many times she asked you to leave Jungkook, somehow deep down in your heart, it says otherwise. How could you leave him when you already with him for five years. You can't just simply wasting your five years stuck with him through hell and back just for unreasonable reason-cheating.

What happens to the term 'apology'? What happens to the saying 'give him a second chance'? Can you make it exists in your dictionary of life too?

"It just hurts," you whispered.

"I know..."

"Do you get it when you'll give so much of yourself to a person, and they'll make you genuinely feel as if they'd do the same?" You looked at the ground. "Except they don't, they never do. Out every person I've ever invested myself into, I'm constantly the one who cares a little more," you said quietly, "and it hurts."

Eun Ha sighed. "You seriously deserve to be treated better than you are, Y/N. You know it, he knows it, and the only person who can do anything about it is you, because he obviously made it clear that he cannot be trusted. NOT TO MENTION every single time he cheats he is putting you in danger, if protection isn't being used. To get an STD or whatnot, and what if he got someone pregnant?

Really think about this and do what is right for yourself, Y/N. The longer you let him disrespect you the worse off you will be in the long run. Believe me." Eun Ha said in a stern voice.

With a worried face on your face, you let out a weak sigh. You turned and looked at your surroundings, blankly. Everything seemed so different, yet so familiar. You was staring off into the distance with little awareness of what is going on.

Other people seems like they were happy with their life. But who knows they also might have problems too? Different kind of relationship problems. And it happened to be you too as well, facing this kind of problem when Jungkook decided to ruin our relationship.

"I don't know what to do anymore, Eun Ha." In your thought, it was so quiet that you could only hear the beat of your heart. The only thing more unthinkable than leaving was staying; the only thing more impossible than staying was leaving. You didn't want to destroy anything or anybody. You just wanted everything goes back to normal again.

You heard Eun Ha sighing again, deeply. She might be thinking there's no other way to convince you for leaving Jungkook. "He doesn't love you anymore. If he did he would not cheat. Believe me, Y/N. He is not happy with you... that's why he cheats. Just tell him you won't tolerate any more of these and when he does it, just leave him."

"But I love him so much. I can't leave him just because he's messed up right now. I know he's hurting that's why he would done this to me..." you replied, still trying to find even a small hope in your relationship.

Every time we make the decision to love someone, we open ourselves to great suffering, because those we most love cause us not only great joy but also great pain. The greatest pain comes from leaving. The pain of leaving can tear us apart. Still, if we want to avoid the suffering of leaving, we will never experience the joy of loving. And love is stronger than fear, life stronger than death, hope stronger than despair. We have to trust that the risk of loving is always worth taking.

"News flash dear, if someone loves you they do not repeatedly do things to hurt you. That is not love. That is taking advantage of you because he knows that he can. As long as you remain a doormat then don't complain when you are stepped on. So he lies, cheats, hurts your heart, says he loves you. Which one of these things just do not belong? You need to think more of yourself, Y/N..." Eun Ha said with her worried face. Your tears started to fall down started with one bead followed by another when you realized how much Jungkook had hurting you for these past months.

"No one is worth all this. A relationship with our partner should be optional and not a necessity. If you wish to sign up for a lifetime of heartache, disappointment, hurt, confusion, betrayal and lies then have at it. Men like Jungkook will do not change and you cannot "fix" them, nor should you try. When you try to leave this relationship he will say he loves you, he doesn't want to lose you, he is sorry, it won't happen again, or it was all a mistake, or I was too weak to resist. He will say all this because you will believe all this bullcrap, and give him another chance to do it again..."

"No one lies to keep anyone happy, they lie to protect themselves. Wake up and see things as they are. He is playing you like a board game. Walk away and give him all the freedom he needs. Why do you think you deserve this? If a man truly loves you he will not hurt you. He will respect you, honor you, be faithful to you, and make you his priority in life. If this is not what you are experiencing then why are you there? As long as women continue to allow themselves to be used, then there are men out there who will surely take advantage of that. Respect yourself and dump this lump of coal. You deserve much, much better."

If someone asks you if you still love Jungkook or not, you would say it was never a case of still loving him. You have never stopped. You tried to let him go, you told yourself to think about everything he had done and all the ways he had hurt you. But all you could think about was your smile in the morning and your laughs late at night. He was the reason for that, he made your days better. Sure, you're going to have bad days but the good always outweighed them. What you're trying to say is that Jungkook had your heart since the day we met, as we fell apart, so did your heart. Some pieces you already taken from him and some, you're afraid you'll never get back.

"You have to make a choice, Y/N. You must decide if you would rather be with him, knowing full well that he can and will cheat on you at every opportunity, or if you would rather not be with him at all. You should consider, honestly, if you would rather feel the pain of being without him, or feel the pain of knowing he is unfaithful. Frankly, in my opinion, it's bit like choosing between a quick, clear death, or death by a thousand cuts. Both hurt, you end up dead either way. But one drags out the pain. I know what I would choose, but this isn't something anyone else can decide for you. You have to make the choice yourself."

You looked at Eun Ha. Her eyes expressed her concern and for that you're really thankful for having a friend like her. Your lips curved into a smile, "I think I know what my choice is."

People talk about falling in love as if it were something that just happened to them, as if there were a disconnect between the head and the heart, and occurred entirely beyond their control. That couldn't be further from the truth. Falling in love is just as much as a choice as anything else. It is waking up every day, saying "I choose you." It is consciously deciding to accept someone for everything they are, even the parts yet to be discovered.

Today I choose you.

I will always choose you, Jungkook.

∞

You turned to see the clock hanging on the wall. 12PM. Another several hours from now, you will get to see Jungkook's mother as she invited you and Jungkook coming over for weekend. As long as you could remember, it's been a month you didn't meet her because of your job schedule and Jungkook also seems to be very busy with his business.

You would love to see her always, she's been kind to you and treating you like her own daughter but you know it takes 5 hours of driving from Seoul to Busan. And surely Jungkook didn't have many times for that considering his company is located in city of Seoul. So both of us could only meet her when only it comes to weekend, but it's not likely to be every weekend because sometimes our jobs also require us to overwork on the weekend too. It's just depends on what kind of week we gone through.

Working as a PR in a big company like Park Legacy, your phone will never stop rang. There always have some kind of issues you need to settle and working late until midnight is a common thing for you. Thank God, Jungkook didn't complaint much about your working schedule because he's just like you too and even busier.

Our relationship and daily life totally turn 180 degree changed after you got a work and Jungkook quit being an idol. Both of us seems very busy with our own matters and you could say that we are no longer as close as we used to. Like when you have a free time, he's busy and when he's free, you're the one who's busy later on until we couldn't find a proper time to communicate leisurely. It's just impossible.

You went to your bedroom, well a room you shared with Jungkook. It almost two years and a half you lived with him in this house ever since he moved out from his dorm, leaving BTS and living up his new life- as a businessman. As soon as you opened the door, you saw Jungkook coming out from the wardrobe room while tying up his necktie. He looked so formal just only to see his mother.

You walked close to him after seeing him struggle to tie the necktie. Believe it or not, he still could not tie his necktie properly even he's already a successful businessman. And how many times you tried to teach him, he just couldn't catch it.

You reached out your hand to his tie and helped him. He looked slightly surprised when you slapped his hand softly and continue the job he had been doing. You spoke, "You're early today. I didn't even shower yet," you thought both of us will be leaving to Busan at 2PM but he's kinda prepared himself early today. What have gotten on him?