"You're late again, Mr. Tuan."

His steps froze along with his body which he bent down over the floor, in position trying to sneak in, statically stopped. He cringed at his own stupidity thinking that he already busted. Mark quickly gets up and looked at his lecturer up front with a silly smile. All his classmates also have been staring at him, half of them leering while whispering to each other, making him unpleasant. "I'm sorry, Prof. I don't know why my dance practice was behindhand today." He gave an excuse with a hope that his lecturer might buy it.

Professor Kim examined his face quite long before responding to him, "You know I don't like my student be unpunctual. I don't care whether you're an idol, a doctor's son or even any chaebol's heir. When you signed up with my class, that's mean you are my student. You, Mr. Mark Tuan are my student now, not a GOT7 member anymore in this university." He said, unsmiling.

Mark left no other choice except he needs to apologize for being late to his Italian class today. "I'm sorry, sir. Promise it won't happen again."

His lecturer gave a nod, accepting his apology, "Go find any seat and open textbook page 155." He directed, making Mark bowed to him before making his move.

He went to an empty seat, next to his most favorite classmate. She is the only his best friend in Dongguk University. "Hey!" he whispered to her while smiling.

She responded, in whisper too, "Are you just lying to the Grim Reaper?" she asked, making him chuckled. Yes, he just lied to Professor Kim, or famously known as Grim Reaper of the campus. He is a ferocious old beast and all the students here are so deathly afraid if they caught seen by him whether in class or around the campus. Mark quickly nodded to her before taking out his book from the bag.

To be truth is he doesn't have any dance practice in his schedule today. He was the type of student who is most likely to skip every class he had. Well, he didn't sign up for university by his own choice. His dad forced him to as he will be the next CEO of Raymond Hotel in a couple of year from now on.

The only class he never skips is Grim Reaper's class so far. Why? Is it because he afraid of this monster lecturer? Well nope actually. Out of many classes he has, Italian class is the only class he got a chance to meet her. Despite of having different course of study, the third language class somehow brings him to know more about her. She was from Public Relations department meanwhile he's taking MBA, The Master of Business Administration and both of their courses require to learn another foreign language.

As the next CEO, his father making him learn about business even though he didn't like his path had been decided by his own parent. He has his own dream. Yes, B-boying and singing is his passion since he was a little; that's his true talent. A thing he is good at. And because of that he was managed to get a spot in GOT7, one of K-pop idol groups in South Korea. Sadly, his father only giving him free time until he turns at the age of 30 and by then he will stop all of his GOT7 job and giving his all to Raymond Hotel.

After a long boring lecture, he yawned and glanced aside to look at Y/N. She was busy having a chitchat with her another best friend, Kim Eun Ha. They both seem giggling over something and Mark felt he wanted to know about what they had discussed. "What are you guys talking about?" he asked in curiosity.

Both of them turned to look at him, surprise when Mark disturbing them. Kim Eun Ha opened her mouth; excitedly to tell him meanwhile Y/N tried her best to shut Eun Ha. "You know what? Jungkook just asked her out!"

Mark surprised yet he felt a little heartbroken when he heard what Eun Ha just said. His heart drops when he thinks about her being with someone else. Being with her always felt like gazing the stars and into the infinity, reading a book which never ends. She had no boundaries, all she knew was to shine, and live without any walls around her on every page. It's hard to admit when you have fallen in love with someone who can't be yours.

"Ya! I told you never tell anyone!"

Mark witnessed Y/N turned out blushing after Eun Ha had exposing her. An awkward smile appears on his face, "Ah. Really? How about you? Are you happy?" he asked with an uncertainty feeling, trying his best to hide his own feelings.

She smiled broadly while looking at him. "I think I'm the happiest whenever I'm with him. I don't know what's this feeling, Mark? He has something that keeps attracting me." She declared.

Don't smile at me like that, Y/N. Don't show me your innocent smile when you told me about him. Because I'm broken inside. Because I know there's no place for me in your heart. It always him. Your heart already filled up with a guy named Jeon Jungkook.

Eun Ha surprisingly jolted her upfront, bringing Y/N closer to him, "That's mean you already fall in love with him, you stupid!" she said while laughing jokingly.

Her face was so close to him after Eun Ha pushed her towards him. Mark felt his chest pounded his heart beating faster and faster when his eyes met her. She whispers, "I'm afraid of falling."

Like he got a spell from her, Mark answered, "I'll catch you."

Suddenly, she cackled with a laughter along with Eun Ha, making him realize he almost exposing his true feelings. "I'm just joking, Mark."

Eun Ha howled as she about to cry for endless laughing on Mark's reaction. "Did you see Mark's face? Duh don't ever make that Casanova's face again."

Mark somehow scowled at both of them defiantly. "No, I am serious. If once I know about Jungkook breaks your heart, he will be dead." declared him with his straight face. "You think it's easy to date an idol? Never, Y/N. Either him or his career will destroy you later." He warned making both of them speechless.

"How about you, Mark? You're an idol too? Have you ever given a thought about dating someone?" Eun Ha asked him bluntly.

He nodded while staring at Y/N warmly. "Yes, I do."

"Who? Who's that lucky girl already won our Mark's heart?" Eun Ha keeps teasing him but it didn't stop him to gaze at her.

"Aish, you don't need to know about her. As long as she knows about my feelings towards her then it's enough for me."

How much he wanted her to realize his feelings to her by her own. How much he wanted her to know everything he had done to her were because of her sake. And how much he wanted to say that three meaningful words to her.

I love you. So bad. I am, Y/N. I fall in love with you so bad.

"Wow, I'm really curious who that special girl who can knock down GOT7 Mark. Is this the reason why you didn't confess to her yet? Because you're an idol?"

"I'm gonna retired soon from that industry." He said, broke his gaze and looking away.

You seem happy, so I guess I'm happy for you. I'm not happy, in fact I'm miserable... but I'm happy for you.

"I didn't believe she's in love with him," he whispered alone.

'Not until I watched her fall to her knees, her tears slamming against the hardwood as she clawed at her chest screaming how miserable she was when he broke her.'

He was dumb. He was a guy who had given her false hopes, saying he would never hurt her like Jungkook did. He promised so many other things, making her tried to love him so. She tried. Mark could see how much she tried to love him and forget Jungkook even though all of her love is for Jungkook.

But what happened? Mark broke her at last. He destroyed her trusts to him because of his own blind jealousy. Mark slowly turned into a monster, same like Jungkook a few years before because of his stupid curiosity.

He was afraid. He fear he might lost her to Jungkook again, making him make a wrong step. He heartlessly tortured her because he was afraid of getting hurt in other ways.

Sorry, I am so sorry my love. I hurt you without any reason. Your tears made my heart cry. Why I did to you that I don't even care about our child. I scold you without any reason. Your pain made my heart to think. My cruel heart suspects you for nothing. I did not mean to hurt you. When you cry then I cry more than you. Because I love you all my heart and soul.

I told you that I would never hurt you again... but I made your tears flow once more. Now, I promise you that I will not hurt you again. Just please come back to our home. Just please back to me again, Y/N.

Months he tried to find her along with Jungkook. Both of them just forget every rivalry they used to have and decided to find her instead. Because both of them worried about her condition. Her pregnancy that threatens her life. He rather chooses her than his own child. He would kill him for her even though he admitted he was the cause she suffering. If not because of his torture, if not because he abused her violently, if only he wouldn't turned as a mad person on that day, both Y/N and their child might still living by his side happily. Four of them might be a happy family but he just ruined it.

Another day has gone, I'm still all alone. How could this be, you're not here with me. You never said goodbye. Someone tell me why? Did you have to go and leave my world so cold?

It was his fault. And he deathly regrets all his wrongdoing to both precious people in his life; his beloved fiancée and his unborn baby. He admitted he was a hot-tempered person; he was the type of guy who easily gets mad even though on little things. But it was because he once suffered. A son of a high hope parents; a child who had been decided his life path; and a victim of mental torturer around him. He was mentally suffered. But somehow whenever he with GOT7 members and Y/N, all his problem kind of vanished without him realizing it.

I really like you. A lot. I know sometimes I mess up and let all my stupid jealousy overtake me but trust me... you're my world, Y/N...

"Mark..." he heard Jungkook trembling across the phone. "She's gone," he frowned hearing what Jungkook had said. Suddenly, he lost. He can't hear, he can't see and he can't feel anymore. He felt like he just loses the whole world. It feels like his world had crushed upon him. "She's gone now, Mark." Jungkook sobbed while trying to sniff his cries. After that, he didn't hear anything anymore except a loud wrenching wail Jungkook just made.

His phone dropped, his hand becoming weak and his chin started to wobble. This shocking news surprised him a lot. A single tear slid down from his unblinking eyes, followed by another one, and another one, until soon, a steady stream of salty tears flowed its way down his pale cheek, releasing the sadness and sorrow. His crying was both ferocious and noisy.

Why did you have to leave me here alone?

Why did you leave without telling me?

You left me in the dark. In the shadow of your heart.

The hospital corridor was crowded and chaotic. Sadness was everywhere. Grieving here. Anxiety there. So much pain. So was him. He was running across the corridor without even care what's surrounding looks like, how people been staring a famous person like him in a rush. Mark from the first he received that news; he started to feel panicky and breathless. Just wonders how he looks like now?

As soon as he arrived at the emergency room, he saw Jungkook squatting down on the floor. His head kept below, looking tired from crying, only dry racking sobs left. Mark wanted to deny that his fiancée already gone, but looking how miserable Jungkook was now with dried blood covered almost his shirt and face. He knew what was coming.

Please don't leave me, Y/N. Please give me another chance to make up all mistakes to you. Just please come back to me again.

Not only Jungkook, he also noticed Park Chanyeol was here too, standing still and staring straight to the operation room with a hope. Mark quickly rushed to Jungkook and grabbed his collar, making him stood up weakly. "You're joking isn't? Y/N is not dead. Right? Tell me, Jungkook! Tell me the truth!" he yelled at him, glaring Jungkook with his red eyes. The tears started to flood around his eyes.

Jungkook slowly lifted his eyes, staring at him with no determination. "Why I need to lie to you? She's gone now. You heard me?" Silent tears rolling down his cheeks, "Woman who I loved so dearly is gone now. My beloved Y/N is already died and never comes back to me again no matter how much I begged to Him!" Mark saw how red in Jungkook's face when he raised his voice with a great heaving sobs.

"Where she is now? I don't care! I want to see her with my own eyes!" he shouted in disbelief.

Jungkook pointed his finger to the room in front of them. "There. In that room! They did caesarean on dead body, Mark! For your child's sake! Did you hear me? Yes, Y/N willing to sacrifice herself for your baby! Your own blood!" Jungkook pulled away his collar from Mark's grip and step a back, devastated.

He turned his side, looking at the closed room, seemingly endless flow of tears outpouring.

The sad part is, that I will probably end up loving you without you for much longer than I loved you when I knew you.

"Who did this? Who's fucking did it to her?" he asked, raising his voice in suppressed rage.

"The one you once give a hand." Jungkook told him.

He frowned. Who? "Jennie?" he assumed but looking at Jungkook nodded to his question, he was right. That evil bitch, Jennie. Without realizing it, Mark suddenly punched Jungkook right on his face, making the man in front of him now stubble backwards. "THIS IS YOUR FAULT! Y/N will not be dead if you did not divorce Jennie!"

Surprisingly, Jungkook came forward and punching him back. "No, this is your fault, Mark. She's not gonna leave me if she won't get pregnant with your child. And she doesn't need to have to go so soon like this!" he cried in abject misery.

"Stop blaming him, Mark. Stop covering all your mistakes upon her by blaming Jungkook. We all had done our own fault and I think it's time to you to look back what you already done to her and repent. So that you should treat your child better after this." Park Chanyeol who was silent a moment ago, voiced out from his unmoving place, expressionless.

Mark fell down to the floor, kneeling himself with endless crying. He was regret and full of resentment with himself. Yes, he admitted it was his fault. She will not end up suffering like this if he treated her better. But looks like, he can't go back to the past and changed all the destiny had done.

If I had known things would turn out this way, I might have stayed up a little later, talked a little longer and hugged you a little tighter. How foolish of me to think we wouldn't last, to think I wouldn't have regrets.

Suddenly, the door room was opened making three of them startled and coming closer in curiosity. There was a nurse walked out while pushing an incubator. "Who's the father?" she asked while looking at three of them.

Mark raised his hand, "I am." He looked down at the small baby in the incubator. His heart broke to million pieces when he saw his own child. His premature baby that urge to come out just because his mother already died.

"Congratulations. You just have a baby boy, sir. Follow me. You need to sign a few paper." The nurse said and walking away with the incubator.

Not long after that, a masked doctor came out. "How is she, doctor? Is she alive?" he rushed asking questions with a hope that she will just fine. The doctor shook his head with disappointment.

I think the hardest part of losing someone isn't having to say goodbye, but rather learning to live without them. Always trying to fill the void, the emptiness that's left inside your heart when they go.

"Why you're here? How about Y/N?" he asked Jungkook when he saw him entered the baby room. Jungkook came to him when he visited his child. Every time his son moved around, his smile appeared along with his tears.

"They are preparing her body." He lets out a painful sigh. Seems like he's not used to say about her in this kind of way.

"You left her with Park Chanyeol? His brother just killed the person we loved."

He knew Park Jinyoung been helping Jennie since couple of months before. And looks like this crime they had been planning well enough just to destroy Jungkook.

Jungkook gave him a death glare, "I believe Park Chanyeol. But you? No, I don't. I don't believe you, Mark. I don't know what's been running on your mind right now. But I already promised to Y/N that I'm going to protect this baby for her."

He smiled painfully. "This is my son, Jungkook. I know I had done unforgivable sin to him, to his mother," he paused. "I don't know what to do anymore, Jungkook. I am so sorry what had I done to you before." Mark unexpectedly kneeled down right in front of Jungkook, begging him with a great heaving sobs.

"Here." Jungkook threw an envelope at him, looking away. He looked at it unblinkingly. He knew that handwritten. It was from her. Mark quickly ripped the envelope and read her letter.

I expect my words to be ignored and ridiculed. I expect my deepest feelings to be unimportant to you anymore. I know what I say means nothing. Even with this knowledge, I must speak from my heart.

From the moment I heard your voice I knew that you were a special person. We talked for hours, we laughed, played and laughed some more. I remember our first kiss and the tingles that went through my lips, to the top of my head, and straight to my heart.

The time we spent together was beautiful and fulfilling for me, with you and Eva. I longed to have a family of my own and I was blessed to have experienced that in my short life. Looking back, I can clearly see the amazing power of your love. It kept us together when nothing else could. We shared the most incredible life together. We had a beautiful daughter, an almost unbreakable friendship and a love that was deeper.

I love you, Mark. And that's why I slowly hate myself. Not because I love you but because I love Jungkook also. He is my first love and he is the father of my child. But within times, I started to fall in love with you. I thought you would be such a great dad. You are the only person who always beside me, you are the person I always running to whenever I'm in trouble and because of that I'm thankful you were here with me.