I think I could have kissed her all day. I could have swept back the loose strands of hair from her eyes and spent the night talk just like that. And maybe it was because there was too much sadness in her heart, but she kissed like she needed to be kissed, like she was aching all over.

"Don't ever let someone do that," he spoke in a stern voice, yet his eyes were watering.

"What?" She asked.

"Take away your happiness without a fight. It's like killing yourself... Except worse, because instead of killing a body you're killing a soul." He said with eyes like those he had killed souls before.

Yes, he admits he used to kill souls before. Her soul. His mother's soul. His family soul. Just because of his greediness. And he doesn't want Y/N to keep repeating the same mistake he once done. He doesn't want the same mistake happens again to both of them and triggering their relationship.

A hand reached out and gently cupped her chin, lifting her face until their eyes met. Tears filled her eyes that he couldn't bear to see without comforting her. "Maybe it's already hundreds time I keep apologizing to you. But I knew it was never enough," and then he lets his hand reached her palm and brought it to his cheek. Gosh he misses so much of her touch, "I was the cause of all this tragedy happened. If not because of my selfishness, my endless stupid jealousy and my temperament, our relationship will not end up like this. Our love will not be miserably broken and I wouldn't lose you and your faith in me. If only I could turn back time to those moments, I promise to myself that I wouldn't hurt you, I wouldn't let myself get seduced by all that fake lust. I wouldn't build JK Group..."

He wanted to continue his words. He wanted to say that he's going to shutdown JK Group forever. But she seems like she's understand what he's going to say and quickly shook her head with great heaving sobs. She took both of her hands and cupped Jungkook's face while staring at him with her puffy eyes. "No, Jungkook. JK Group is not your fault at all. It was built because of your passion. JK Group is the out-turn of your dream. Remember that? I knew how much you love cars. Please don't give up your company to anyone else. I had seen so many hardships you been through only to make JK Group success. At least, please think about anybody else. How will Kino survive if JK Group will no longer under your command? How about everyone else who already helped you and JK Group until this level? Jungkook, you need to stop being selfish for once, and learn to think about everyone else around you and who really loves you."

A smile curved on his face, a pair of tears threatening to fall again. "That's why I love you, Y/N. There are no other words that make my heart calm better than yours. I miss that, you know. Sharing secrets, sharing thoughts about life, about future. I miss having night deep talk with you."

He brought her into his arms, hugging her tight like he won't let her go forever. This is the moment he was waiting for, to gain her trust and love back. All of his hardships before that he been through, which most of them are likely so hard to be explain into words keep appears in his thought over and over again. She deserves to be fighting for. She deserves to be waiting for. Because she's the one who ever understand him and yet still loves him for who he is.

"Y/N," he called her name softly and loosening their hug. She looked at him with the most loving way he ever seen. "I want to give you something," he said while taking her hand into his clutch and started to walk, heading to his bedroom.

"What do you want to give me?" she asked curiously.

As soon they entered the room, he put herself sit on the bed while he went closer to his desk. He opened the second drawer and reached out for a file. A grin appeared when he looked at that file. Then he went to her again and sat right next to her.

"Here," said him, passing that file to her.

"What is this?" her hand took the file he gave and opened it.

"My present for you."

His eyes never left staring at her with unconditionally love. A woman that he loves for so long. A mother of his child. A woman that already sacrifices a lot of thing for his sake. He never imagines that she would sacrifice their marriage only to save him from the prison. Well, from the beginning of their complicated love story, he thought she really hates him because of his wrongdoings, his sin to her. He thought that she betrayed him because she was forced marrying him. And he thought she would still hate him because of his lie of not admitting he's cheating with Jennie.

Her face crinkled in confusion after reading the document contained in that file. Jungkook already expected her reaction about his present. Well she deserves to get this kind of present.

"JK Castle?" she turned her head right away, looking at Jungkook who did not stop grinning from the moment he passed her that file. "You wanted to give me JK Castle? It's your house, Jungkook."

Jungkook quickly shook his head. "No, it's our house. And I want you to have it."

But he didn't expect she would reject it the moment she gave back the file to him. His smile died in just a second. "No I can't accept this. It is too much for me. If you don't want it, just give to Eva, Jungkook. She's more worthy."

He sighed, heartbroken. Why she still didn't see his effort to her? He built JK Group was not for fun. He wanted to give her enjoyment of life, his wealth that he gained all because of her. He did that only because of her. Because she is one and only of his strength.

"Do you know why I rather live in our old condo than JK Castle when you left me? I was suffering, Y/N. Every time I woke up, I saw you beside me. Every time I'm back from work, I saw you waiting for me at the front door, waving at me, impatiently. And every time I took a nap, I keep hearing you called my name, whispering to me like you were hugging me, Y/N. And you know what the worst part is? I saw you decorating Eva's room, with your innocent smile. I hate imagining you there. Because I knew the smiling you, the happy you was there for killing me. For showing me that I had done a big mistake which was letting you go. I just can't anymore to live that house without you. So what's the point of living there if you and Eva are not there?"

She quickly took his hand into her, trying to reassure him. Her face was concerned. "I am so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. It's just I feel like I'm not deserving this, not after what I had done to you,"

"No, don't ever think that way, baby. I'm sincere to give it to you. I bought it when we first married, remember?" he smiled and cupped both of her cheek.

"Jungkook," she called him again with her soft voice. He misses that voice. That alluring voice that can melt his heart like the first time they both met. "You said you saw me there, at JK Castle?" Jungkook nodded, responding to her question. "Then why you moved here? I used to live in this house too. You don't see me here?"

He then chuckled when she interested to know more about him.

"I did. I did see you here too but not in pregnant version. I saw how I dragged you down on the floor while you keep begging me to stop," then a single tear ran from his eyes. It was so hard to tell her the truth what kind of man he was when they separated. It was a very pathetic moment. But he tried it anyways. He doesn't want to keep away any secret from her now. That is his promise, which he won't ever lie to her ever again because he knew what it looks like the consequences of lying to a person he loves.

She unexpectedly wiping away his tears and looking at him, upset. That what's a love partner might be. When we're in pain, they will feel the same pain as well also. He began to continue his words again. "I saw a stupid man who likely to torture a woman he really loves only to show how powerful he was. To show that he won't simply be besotted by a cheap underhanded affection. But yet the one who really stupid was him actually. He lets all the fake rumours blinded him. To ruin their long relationship, to destroy his love for her. That's why I chose to live here, to keep always seeing the past you in pain, to witness every sin I had done to you, to keep reminding that I almost kill Eva and to tell myself over and over again to never repeat that same mistake again."

Then she burst into tears as well when he told her what he been through since she left him. He must admit it was the most miserable years he ever faced. The heartbroken he felt was more painful than she left him once when she caught him cheating.

"I'm sorry Jungkook. It's must be really suffering to you. I can't imagine how painful you were going through all of your life for the past two years, without me, without Eva and without your mother." she said. He was glad that she even understands him and still wanted to listen all of his problems even most of them were related to her past too. She must be heartbroken too when remembering all of their argument before.

He took a deep breath, wiping away both of their tears and smiled, "I'm gonna take our separation as a lesson. To teach me to be a good man, never let fame and wealth covered my eyes and most importantly is to treat you better after this and never stop pouring my love to you. I love you, Y/N, and I always will." he said and took his body closer to her before hugging her tight. It felt like he was dreaming right now that she is in his arms. That he got to touch her again. He still can't believe it that the most of his suffering days is about coming to an end.

"Thank you." she said in his arms.

"For what?" he asked. Both of them seems like doesn't want to let go their hug as if it was their last met. But for Jungkook somehow, it was like he had been craving this kind of affection. Her hug is always calming for him. Whatever problem he had, it seems like vanished straight away after getting her hug.

She slowly lets herself out from his arms and looked at him. "For always fighting for me. For risking your life because of me and Eva. I was the one who stupid enough to not see tireless you fighting for us. I never listen to you when you told me to stop meeting Mark. I never expect that he will be so wicked to destroy our marriage. I never appreciate your endless love to me. I knew you always love me, and for that I really thankful God sent you to me."

A pair of tears raced down her cheeks again. Why she always blaming herself when it was not her fault at all? He hates to see her in the state like this. He doesn't know what to do anymore. How he should make her believe that he is already okay now as long as she's here with him?

"No it's not your fault baby. You never cheated on me. It was me. Oh god. You have no idea every time I remember you caught me cheating with other girls in the night club and you keep giving me a second chance, I told myself to stop. Stop, Jungkook. You shouldn't do it. It's not right. Why I keep hurting you when it's not your fault at all. And when I keep thinking you saw me sleeping with Jennie, not only I lost my mind but I already lost myself. I don't know if that time it was myself or my inner demons overtake my soul. I had gone crazy. I became a jerk. Because I was ashamed to be seen pathetic in front of you. Because I felt like I don't want to lose to you. I felt like I had been head over heels to you, like a coward guy every time I thought you slept with someone else, but I didn't. My inner demons wanted me to win so badly ending me up not being Jeon Jungkook who you once knew anymore."

He ran his finger up even higher, right over the curve of her shoulder. His hand reached her nape and lingered, fingers rubbing in a gentle way for a hope that might calming her down. Gosh, he misses a lot this kind of skinship with her, he loved to touch her - never in a sexual way, never anywhere other than her face, her hands, her hair. Her warmth would seep into his being and she comforted him without ever opening her mouth. He'd melt into her like ice-cream on a warm porcelain bowl, like he belonged next to her, like her belonged next to him. And each time before we parted the aching to be in her arms would begin anew.

"Auch!" she suddenly muttered under her breath. Jungkook witnessed her expression was like enduring some pain. Her hand keeps pressing her stomach. Seeing her like that, he already knew there's something wrong. It related what Park Chanyeol had told him.

"Are you okay? Let's go to hospital," said him in a rush. He quickly stood up.

He felt like her hand holding him, stopping whatever he's going to do. "I'm okay, really. Don't worry."

Jungkook lets out a sigh. She still doesn't want to tell him about her condition. He thought that both of them already promised to each other to not having secrets between them. It's better he spilled the beans to her right now. He doesn't want her to keep it away from him any longer. It makes him heartbroken to be honest. To see her in pain.

"Park Chanyeol already told me about your condition, Y/N. You really want to keep this baby? It threatens your life, Y/N. I couldn't bear for one more time losing you and thinking that I'm never going to see you again. I think I would die if you die. I think I would not just lose my mind on that time, I will feel like I..." he stuttered out of sudden. "like I... I'm going to follow you, you know. I don't care if the world this time wanted to separate us, I'm going with you. I will die with you too." he declared his honest thoughts.

He saw her automatically surprised when he told her about his decision if she ever left him. "No, you can't Jungkook. You have to be strong for Eva. She needs you to be alive. You're the only parent that she has. Don't you ever think to make suicide or anything. Just promise me to keep living if I'm gone later. Can you promise me?" she stared at him while her hands keep holding his tightly. Her eyes, there was a meaning behind it. She was determined. And Jungkook knew when she already making up a decision, even he will never got to change her mind.

Jungkook lets out his hand from her, quickly shaking his head, being in denial. "I'm not going to promise you. Never. Stop talking about this nonsense. You're not going to die. I will make sure of it. If you want to keep this baby, fine, I will let you to. But I will never let this baby harm you or do anything to hurt you. I will find every way just to make sure both of you safe. You're going to live longer with me, Eva and our future's child." He reached his hand to her stomach, he felt a small baby bump she had. It's still a small baby and it was his first time seeing her in early of pregnancy. He missed the things out when she was pregnant with Eva, and he kind of regretted it.

"You accept this baby even its Mark's?" she stuttered in fear.

"This child is got nothing to do with his dad. Screw Mark if he doesn't love his child. I'm going to take care of it. For you, my love," he gave her a smile and keeps looking at her stomach. "I never had a chance to take care of you when you're pregnant. Stay with me, Y/N. I'm going to look after you in your second pregnancy. Let me feel back how to be a father look like. I miss that feeling to be honest. Give me another chance to be a real father this time. I'm promise I would not letting you down again."

"Jung-jungkook," Slow desolate tears ran from her unblinking eyes and dripped steadily into her nightshirt.

"I'm going to marry you again. And this time, there's no stupid agreement involve between us," he said. "Marry me, Y/N. Marry me and be Y/N Jeon again. Or be Y/F/N, or be whatever you wish to call yourself, but marry me and stay with me and never leave me again, for I cannot bear another day of my life to go by that does not have you in it."

He leaned down and softly kissed the tender area at the base of her neck. Her body went rigid with surprise as trembles shook her body and the euphoric warmth blossomed within her once more. She was breathless with delight as he showered her with gentle, soft kisses, each with its own flicker of warmth. She gazed up at him, thrilled beyond words to be the recipient of his affection. He drew back again and spent a moment studying her face.

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me, and the touch of your hand says you'll catch me whenever I fall. It makes me believe that you're truly gonna stay with me forever...

The next morning,

"APPA! APPA! GET UP!"

His eyebrows furrowed. He was in a little bit confusion but still he doesn't open his eyes yet. He was dreaming. He dreamed that he was on the aisle, waiting for Y/N coming closer to him with her beautiful wedding dress. But right before he's gonna take vow, Eva's waking him up.

"Give me five minutes, Eva."

He lay his head down again, grinning. It was a beautiful dream and Eva just ruins it. Waking up can be really harsh, especially if your dreams are better than reality.

"APPA! I WANT MILK!" Eva keeps shaking his body over and over again.

He groaned, still doesn't want to wake up yet. "Can you ask Mummy to make it for you, baby. Appa is still sleepy," he said, moving his hand to his side to wake Y/N instead. But he quickly opened his eyes widely when his hand reached nothing but an empty sheet beside him.

"Where's Mummy?" he asked Eva.

Eva shrugged. "I don't know. Mummy is also not in my room,"

He quickly gets up. He was still trying to calm his heart down. Maybe she's in the toilet. So he went to check the toilet whether she's there or not. Negative. She's not there. Eva could only witness her father became panic out of sudden and rushing himself out from the room. She followed him behind.

"She's maybe gone to the kitchen right, Eva?" he told Eva. But the one need to reassure was his heart. Why he felt like she was leaving him again? But he doesn't want to believe it, she already promised him that she would never leave him last night when we're having some night deep talks and making up.

But it turns out there's no any sign of her at the kitchen too. He keeps trying to find her every corner of his house and ending up him to be heartbroken at last. She's disappearing again. But it won't stop him from surrender too soon. He reached for his phone, calling her cell phone with a hope she will finally answers his call and telling him what he wanted to hear, that she will back soon.

He turned his head, searching where's the phone just ringing and saw there's a phone on a desk. He went closer and found out it was her phone. She left her phone behind in his house. He lets out a relief breath. That mean she's still here. That was only what he thinks until he saw an envelope next to her phone. It was her handwritten.

Please say it is just a memo. Please say she just went for a walk, or maybe grabbing a coffee at the café nearby. Just please say something like that.

He opened the envelope and see a long essay she had wrote.