2:38am

I continue to read the article about the murders Jungkook committed. I couldn't find any physical copies so I did what every Gen Z girl would. Took to the internet :) However prison computers are really crap and slow so it's taken a while, I've spent hours here just trying to read through a one page document.

I had to sneak past so many guards to get access to the computer room. No one knows I'm here, not even Jimin.

Or so I thought.

The light to the computer room flicks on and I shoot my head to the door. There stands Jin with his brows notted in confusion. "Y/n? What are you doing here so late?"

"I was just doing some research into Jungkooks case." I say before turning round in my chair. "I feel there's a reason for why he chose his victims. One of them was a head master at my old high school."

With widened eyes Jin shuts the door behind him. "Wait you went to the same school as Jungkook?"

"I'm sure of it. It's took me a while to figure things out but slowly I'm starting to remember him."

"Jin. He was sweet. Shy even. And yet he murdered our head master and 3 other victims. There's got to be a reason behind it all that would justify his actions maybe?"

"There is a reason Y/n. A reason I discovered when I first took Jungkook on as a patient at this prison."

"When Jungkook first arrived here I was picked to examine him. And after receiving the medical results, it was stated that traces of your headmasters cum were in his..."

"Not just him. Your schools janitor and one other teacher was picked up too."

"What about the 4th guy?"

"They couldn't trace it to anyone else. In fact no one knows where the 4th guy went, he wasn't one of the men Jungkook murdered."

"So..." I plan out the next sentence in my head, trying not to projectile vomit all over Jin before I say it. "Jungkook was raped by over 4 men at school."

"Yes but only have the documents. I don't trust them in anyone else's hands. People here want to keep Jungkook put they don't want to see him free like you and I."

"You want him free?" I look at Jin shocked, but I can see the sincerity in his eyes. He really wants what's best for Jungkook.

"I want him to get better and I know you do too. I've been watching you these last few days, when you've paid him visits. I was there that night you comforted him from his nightmare. I know I can trust you with this information Y/n. And when the time is right, we will make it public, I just need a little time to figure out a plan, find a lawyer."

"A lawyer?"

"Yes."

"I plan on getting Jungkook out of this place Y/n. I want to treat him properly and see him better."

"And I want your help. You're a very intelligent young girl, but before we can work together on anything, you need to earn Jungkooks trust. After all he won't co-operate until that happens. Can you do that?"

"I'll do anything to help him Jin"

Next day

"Is it any good?" I ask Jungkook. He continues to chew on the food I'd made for him. I know he doesn't receive the right amount of meals here, so I was more then happy to cook for him.

"You need to hold back on the salt. But other then that. It's okay" he nods before sucking on his fingers, satisfied.

"How did you sleep last night? Any nightmares?"

"I don't have nightmares"

Ah right. Jungkook won't remember.

"Jungkook I've been doing some more research into your condition."

"Wow. You set yourself homework then?" He laughs to himself.

"Yes and it seems your personalities are constantly trying to overtake one another. It's like they don't want to share your body. Now these meds your being pumped on won't help."

Jungkooks brows raise. "So you want me to do therapy?"

"I do. In order for you to become one, you have to find a way to except the other half."

"And that will only happen...if you are able to talk to me about your past. Talk about the things that happened at school."

"Why should I? Honestly why won't you quit already?"

"Because I know you're innocent."

Silence hits the room. It's time to convince him that I truly care about him. It's time to earn his trust.

"Jungkook. You were sexually abused as a child. I know this, and so does Dr Kim, the man who first treated you at this prison."

"You're so stupid if you actually believe I'm not a monster" the boy scoffs. "Stop trying to convince yourself that I'm magically gonna become the sweet boy you've become obsessed with —."

"I'm not obsessed." I protest.

"Okay. Lie to yourself, I don't care."

"Jungkook I've seen both sides of you. You can be sweet and gentle—."

"That part of me will never come back to the surface Y/n. I'm fucked up. I'll always be this fucked up deviant to society." At his own words he comes agitated.

"I constantly feel this urge to harm others. It satisfies me. I'm rough with the women that throw themselves at me because it makes me feel powerful when I hurt them."

"Jungkook you suffered a traumatic experience as a child. It's a proven fact that people who suffered abuse at a young age grow up with the want to do the same to others, to feel in control, to feel strong. It's almost like a coping mechanism—."

"Enough!" His growl echoes throughout the cell. He's shaking with anger. "Enough with the text book talk! Don't you see how sick all that makes me sound?! If you think I'm a good person then it's true that you really don't know me at all! You don't know a single thing about my past!"

"But...I do."

He needs to know.

"We were once friends Jungkook. In fact. I taught you how to read and write." I smile to myself. "You taught me ho to draw. For so many years I've forgotten about you, but then it hit me when you were having your panic attack. I remembered everything."

"I was in the head masters office with you that day. He told me I wasn't allowed to see you anymore and that's because he didn't want you being able to tell anyone what he was doing to you. He lied to my father, told him you were trouble just to keep you away from me."

"Then he made you transfer to an all boys school to avoid the truth ever getting out."

Last night Jin and I went through all the available files and case studies. It was disgusting learning about how much Jungkook went through. And it made me feel so guilty, knowing there was something I could have done to prevent this.

Last night

"I should have known something wasn't right. He came into school bruised one morning and I just excepted his made up excuse. That he'd fallen off his bike."

"Y/n you were just a child your self. You wouldn't have disobeyed your father, you were being a good daughter, don't make yourself feel guilty for that."

"But if I would have explained things to my dad then he could have helped. Jungkook didn't have any parents, he was all alone with this huge secret and maybe if I would have defied my fathers word and stuck with Jungkook, he would have told me everything."

Present

"Jungkook if people knew about all of this then you would have a case again. A reason for you to get out of this place and receive the proper care and treatment you need."

His eyes have remained fixed on the ground ever since I started speaking about his past. "You said I was normal Y/n."

"You are normal"

"Really??? Would a normal person be in a place like this!!? Would a normal person need a fucking psychiatrist?"

"Jungkook you're mentally ill. Now that's not your fault, but it's true. When you were abused, your brain would have triggered to shut off your vulnerable side, push it away in order for you to feel safe. In its place was this anger, this rage and hate you developed towards those men."

He scoffs before getting up to walk away, his metal chain scraping across the floor.

"It grew stronger over time, it took over you." I louden my voice. "I should imagine it was an unsettling feeling. Messed with your head, drove you to feel unstable and not like yourself. You wanted to stop feeling so confused, you wanted to feel in control again. So you went back to address your head master, but the anger overtook you again."

"You fucked him. And then you killed him."

"It felt good. Satisfying even. For once you felt like the powerful one. You didn't want that feeling to disappear, and thats what drove you to murder the 3 other men."

I feel like he's actually listening to me. Maybe because I'm showing him that I understand him, maybe because I saying everything he's wanted to hear for the past 4 years, which is something he won't be used to around here.

"You committed a serious crime, yes. But the victims you chose were already criminals, and the worst kind might I add. They were pedophiles Jungkook, and you were the innocent little boy caught up in their disgusting fantasy and that was not. Your. Fault. You need to realise that you never did anything wrong to begin with. You're in this place because are the monsters, not you."

He cries. Tears streaming down his face as he collapses back against the wall. Without thinking I crouch down before him, cupping his face with both of my hands. "You're the real victim Jungkook."

He sniffles. "I remember you Y/n."

At his words my eyes well up with tears. "I'm sorry I wasn't the friend you needed back then. I'm sorry for forgetting about you."

His head collapses against my shoulder. I can't tell which Jungkook is here right now but it doesn't matter. He's letting me hold him, he's letting me comfort him, which is all I've wanted to do since the moment I met him.

1 hour later

It's dark in his cell, and yet I can make out his facial features as he sleeps. No way am I leaving him tonight. I'm staying until morning.

"Y/n?" His sleepy voice calls out to me.

"I'm here" I say whilst leaning closer to him. "What is it? Did you have another nightmare?"

He shakes his head and stops my hand from touching his face. "You should go."

"What?"

"You'll get in trouble if you're caught spending the night here."

Oh but Yerim can fuck you and it not be an issue.

That was something that actually confused me. I couldn't understand how she still had a job at this prison, but apparently she's Doctor Lee's best friends daughter or something like that.

"Do you want me to go?" I ask him. "Because I'll leave if that's what you really want but if you're just worried about me getting in to trouble then I'm staying."

He doesn't say anything at that.

"What are you thinking?" I ask before touching his cheek and he flinches, it's like my touch makes him uncomfortable. I retract my hand.

"Y/n it's not you it's me. My mind won't let me enjoy anything, not even a simple comfort from your soft hands."

"Whenever I'm touched in certain ways it brings me back to my past."

"I'm so sorry I didn't mean to—."

"No no don't be sorry" he caresses my face, and I instantly calm down. "Like I said it's not you. I'm just not ready. In fact you really should go. I don't trust myself with you."

"Who are you right now?"

His hands slacken around my face. "I don't know. I'm just...me."

My question seems to have offended him. It must be so stressful having to figure out who you are all the time. I can't believe I was so insensitive to ask such a thing.

I hold back my hand when I go to touch him. "Whichever one you are. I accept you. Both of you."

APoV

Hearing those words did something to Jungkook. It made his heart beat in a way that he wasn't used to. Was he feeling butterflies? He couldn't be sure. All he knew was that Y/n did something to him. She made him confused, all the time, made him want her close but also keep her at a distance.