Alhamdulilah, life is better than it has been in these last few months. I have come to terms with baba's death, and accepted that he has gone to a better place. It's a hard pill to swallow when death occurs suddenly.

Me and Ayman have just moved into our own house which we brought a little after baba's death. Alhamdulilah where we live in the UK, it isn't too hard to get a deposit on a house. With mine and Ayman's joint savings we managed to buy a beautiful house between both mama's and my in laws. Which is perfect! The house is absolutely beautiful. It has five big spacious bedrooms and a huge living room and kitchen.

Decorating and renovating the house has been my dream ever since I was a teen. Interior design is something that I've always been interested in and I got to do that with our house. It looks absolutely amazing mashallah!

With both me and Ayman being back at work and juggling buying house stuff, it's been difficult but great at the same time. I guess it's kind of taken my mind off things and has kept me busy all the time.

"Do the samosa's look done?". "Yeah they look ready to me! Fry the chips next". Today we've been in the kitchen since the morning, we are holding our first dinner party. I'm excited it's the first time that everyone will get a full house tour. Ummi and Abba are coming! And Afiyah and her family.

Mama has found it tough getting over baba's death, which is totally understandable his death was very sudden. Me and Ayman literally begged her to come and live with us in the new house. But like her stubborn self she stood her ground and is still living at home. But she's not alone, Mama became part of the fostering community in our area. And is now fostering three siblings. They're sooo cute! The two twins girls are aged 5 and are called Akhirah and Amal. And their brother is 3 years old and is called Hudhayfah. They are the cutest kids ever! Me and Ayman usually spend Saturdays over there, playing with them. Today they are coming with her to our house.

Subhanallah, mama is going to get soo much reward for looking after the orphans. Their story is absolutely heart wrenching, parents both died in a car crash and are now left with no family. In the Hadith it has been narrated by Allah's Messenger (ﷺ), "I and the one who looks after an orphan will be like this in Paradise," showing his middle and index fingers and separating them.

In Surah Baqarah there is an ayah which discusses about how the Ummah should expend and, one of which is on orphans. "Whatever you spend of good must be for parents and kindred and orphans and al-Masakin (the poor) and the wayfarers, and whatever you do of good deeds, truly, Allah knows it well."

I had just finished off making the last curry, we had prepared enough food to feed a mass. I creeped behind Ayman and hugged him with all of my might. I shifted so that we were chest to chest. I got on my tippy toes and pulled his head down so that his lips met mine. As the kiss intensified I could feel my knees growing weak. My legs were on the verge of giving out on me because of the passion, when Ayman's arms quickly swooped to the rescue. When we both pulled apart for air, I looked up to see Ayman's shocked face. I knew why he was shocked, it's because it's the first time I ever initiated a kiss between us I made sure to speak all of my unspoken thoughts and feelings into the kiss. Dealing with the grief of baba's death kind of made us drift apart a little, I'm not even sure how he dealt with how much of a mess I was.

"Thank you", I whispered in a quiet voice against his chest. I could feel Ayman's index finger lifting up my chin so that my eyes can meet his. "For what love", he spoke in his husky voice. "Thank you for putting up with me, thank you for being my teammate on the darkest of days, thank you for being my rock. Even though we've only been married a short six months, you have fulfilled every one of your promises that you wrote on the letter that you gave to me on our Nikkah. You said that you promise to be my anchor when Allah Swt tests us, you promise to hold me close when times get tough, you promise to be the best confidant when I'm seeking your advice. And that you promise to be the the light to my darkness.And you have stuck to your word and for that I love you sooo much Ayman. As a teen when I first discovered what Tahajjud was, I always made dua that Allah Swt would grant me a husband which would be beautiful inside and out. And I always doubted that I'd find a great husband. But alhamdulilah, alhamdulilah I have indeed been granted a spouse who is beautiful inside and out! You make me feel on top of the world. I wish I could have said it in a better situation, not looking like a mess surrounded by food. But it's something that I've wanted to confess for a while now. I love you with my whole heart baby. I could feel the tears running down my face.

I could see Ayman's enticing green orbs swimming with tears. "Ahlam I've been wanting to say the same three words for a long time now. I admire the strength that Allah Swt has granted you with, I love your gentle, caring aura. I love that we both share mutual amount of love for the messenger of Allah Swt, I love how quickly you can turn my day from sour to sweet. I love the way you make my heart pound against my rib cage just at the sight of you. As a teen I was disgusted at the thought of love, I never in my wildest dreams thought that I'd be worthy or capable of loving. But Ahlam you captured my heart and showed me what love is. I love you soo much princess! You are the love of my life, and I'll never stop loving you until my last breaths".

I hugged Ayman soo tight I'm pretty sure I nearly cut off his circulation. He put his hands at the base of my neck, and captured my lips in a passion kiss. If we didn't stop I knew that we would be late for our guests and that would be cringe. I pulled away with a heavy heart. "Ayman if we don't stop were going to be late, we can carry this on later, when the guests have gone".

"Come! Let's go get ready". I held my hand out to Ayman. His huge hand encased my small petite hand. I squealed when I felt myself being lifted off the floor. I wrapped my arms around his neck. As we entered our room I made wudhu and started on some light makeup. I quickly threw on a subtle mint coloured open abaya with a beige coloured dress underneath. I settled on a nude coloured hijab.

We got ready just in time, I could hear the sound of the doorbell ringing. Me and Ayman walked down the stairs hand in hand.

I opened the door to Afiyah and her family. "Khala!!! These are for you and mamu, I hope you like it I chose them". The little man hugged me tight. "Thank you sooo much jaanu! The flowers are beautiful, my baby is growing up too fast! Look how tall you've gone!". "Khala I am four years old now! I'm going to be big and tall like Abba".

"Afiyahhh!! How are you? And how is my little niece or nephew doing in there?". I put my hand over her stomach. Her little baby bump was showing. "Alhamdulilah! I'm better the morning sickness has finally gone, I can actually stomach some food now!!".

"How silly of me! Come in, I'm chatting your ears off at the door. As - Salaamu Alaykum Huzayl". I kept my head slightly lower, "Wa Alaykum Salaam! Thank you for inviting us".

As the guests started filling in, we all sat to eat the food looked drool worthy! "I'd like to say a dua in honour of my children's new home". "Go for it Abba!". I encouraged. "May Allah always keep you happy and smiling in your new home, may Allah Swt allow you to make many memorable memories in your new home, May Allah Swt bless bless you guys with lots of Rizq, May Allah Swt allow you guys to prosper in your new home. Beta your dad would be soo proud of you right now, you were the light of his life in the 25 years of knowing Yaqub, there was never a moment when you were not mentioned in our conversations". A chorus of Ameens filled the room.

I could feel the water works starting, I had a lump in my throat. I looked over at mama who already had tears steaming down her face. "Awhh Abba the dua was beautiful!". I walked around the table to hug Abba and peck his forehead. He's the closest thing I have to a father figure right now, so I'm going to treat him like just like I treated baba, with love and respect.

I had served the desserts, I had made profiteroles, cheesecake, cookies, trifle and Victoria sponge. "Beta the food was delicious! And the desserts are stunning, it must have taken you ages to make all of this food". Ummi asked. "Thank you ummi, I'm glad you enjoyed the food! And I wasn't alone, Ayman helped me in the kitchen".

"Api I love the cookies they're soo yummy". Amal said, "awwh, I'll pack you guys some desserts to take home!". "Thank you! I love you". "Awwhh jaanu I love you tooo!!". I pinched her cute little cheeks. It's weird them calling me Api, because I've never had any siblings.

"Heyyy!! she loves me more than you, I've known her longer than you! She's my khala". I turned my head to whisper in Luqman's ear. "You are my first baby, I love you more than them sweetheart!".

"Ahlam when are you going to showcase your beautiful house to us!". "We can go now if you want!". "Yeah let's go!". The whole clan, followed behind me and Ayman.

"My lord Ahlam the bedroom is beautiful! I wish I had huge built in wardrobes like this!". "Beta the whole house is absolutely beautiful mashallah mashallah!!, you better come and renovate my house when we get it done again". "Inshallah ummi, I'd love to do it for you!".

😫🤣

"Why have you left all of the other rooms spare?". Huzayl questioned. Ayman answered the question. "Inshallah those rooms will get filled one day with our children, so there's no point filling the rooms with unnecessary things right now". I could see the emotions on ummi and mama's face. "Oh my beta, Yaqub was always talking about how he wants grandkids one day, it's soo sad to think that he'll never be here to see them. Allah Swt took him too soon. But he's looking over us though, I'm sure he's soo proud of you today Beta". She said whilst her eyes filled with tears.

"I better get going now, the kids need to be put to bed, they get tired past eight". "Okay mama, Inshallah we'll come and visit on the weekend". Bless Ayman he was stood there with all of the left over food packed in containers. This too was a Sunnah of our beloved prophet Muhammad (pbuh). In the Hadith it is narrated by Allah's Messenger (ﷺ). Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, should serve his guest generously. The guest's reward is: To provide him with a superior type of food for a night and a day and a guest is to be entertained with food for three days, and whatever is offered beyond that, is regarded as something given in charity.

Me and Ayman stood at the door and said our goodbyes to all of the guests. This was another Sunnah of our prophet Muhammad (pbuh). In the Hadith it was narrated by Abu Hurairah that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: "It is the Sunnah for a man to go out with his guest to the door of the house".

🤷‍♀️

💕