Being with Jeon Jungkook made Park Chaeyoung feel alive. She'd describe the feeling akin to the high drug addicts get after getting their fix, or the way for idols like herself felt a deep adrenaline rush when performing into a large crowd. By nature, Park Chaeyoung is not an extrovert, but when she was performing, it felt like her element and she felt as though another side of herself came out on its own.

Similarly, Park Chaeyoung is not naturally the most romantic of people, but Jeon Jungkook brought another side to her.

Soon, she found herself blushing hard on the passenger seat of the car as they watch the sunset in a small village a few hours from Seoul.

She found herself sending him selfies often, and telling him that she missed him out loud. He returned with flirty texts and compliments, voice notes and flowers at her doorstep (even when she wasn't in Seoul!).

Lots of giggles, lots of hidden glances and secret conversations that were only left for the two.

No one knew about them, not even her older sister nor the girls from her group—though they were beginning to suspect, Park Chaeyoung for now, doesn't mind what they have. She wants to enjoy him, fully, as her boyfriend and to experience it all without the crowds and the chatter. Their relationship was a guarded secret and one too precious to let go.

But then, there were moments like these where she wish that it wasn't this way—that she didn't need to keep their relationship on the downlow.

It's New Years Eve and all the idols have gathered for a small get together for the midnight countdown. She was a little late—not noticing the time after having a late lunch with her sister and parents, and when she does arrive she sees him looking as dashing as always—his shirt unbuttoned, collared shirt sleeves rolled up and hair sleeked back. He stood with Kim Taehyung and Kim Seokjin, but her eyes were only onto him. Even from a far, she could see that he was the subject of many crushes—girls didn't necessarily flock around him, but everywhere he went, there were flirtatious smiles and glances his way.

But Jeon Jungkook was a loyal man.

He only had eyes for one woman, and that's what she loved the most.

When their eyes finally meet, he nods and smiles subtly at her, mouthing 'gorgeous' which brought a blush to her cheeks. He smiled, noticing the effect he had on her.

She couldn't believe her boyfriend was so bold! Did he want to get caught?

Park Chaeyoung tries her best to keep things on the down low but even as she conversed with the other girls, as well as some of the girls from TWICE and Red Velvet, she couldn't help but give him a glance every now and then.

At every moment, he was always staring at her.

It was around half an hour till midnight and she heads to the restroom to wash her hands, only to feel the warmth of large hands hugging her from behind. She lets out a squeal, which he quickly contains with his hand over her mouth.

"Koo!" She whispers, looking around suspiciously, "... what if someone sees?"

"Let's go back," he tells her.

"It's not midnight yet, plus—I heard Jimin said you're the designated driver—"

"Forget that," he interrupts, leaning in against her shoulder as he whispers, "... you look so hot tonight, babe. I can't let you go home with anyone, both male and female."

She playfully hits him but internally likes it—Jeon Jungkook always made her feel as though she were the only girl in his eyes, and perhaps—in some respects, she was.

"What will I tell the girls? We promised to go home together with the TWICE gir—"

"P3, I'll heat up the car and pick you up in front of the elevator in five minutes," he tells her.

Before she could protest, he quickly rushes off knowing that at the very least, she'd feel guilty for leaving him waiting.

-

It's the first of January and she thinks she'll be awoken by the feeling of his kisses against her cheeks, instead, it's the sharp and obnoxious sound the her phone ringing. Beside her, Jeon Jungkook practically growls in annoyance, making her chuckle as she turns around and answers the phone. As she listens to the other side, she feels the warmth of his bare torso against her back, as he hugs her from behind, not letting her get up.

But on the other end, she hears Jennie Kim crying.

"What—hey, hey, slow down. It's okay, hold on where are you? I'll come to you—oh, at the office? Hmm, okay. But don't panic okay? We'll sort it out together. Okay—I love you, bye."

"It's the first of January don't tell me you have last minute schedules," he cuddles her closer, making her yelp in surprise, "... don't think I'll let you go anywhere."

"There's an emergency," she explains, "... something about her and Kai being exposed? Not sure what that has to do with me, but all the girls need to go to the building—right now."

She watches as he freezes.

"What?" She questions.

"Are they they the dispatch couple for this year?" He looks at her, "... is she okay?"

"I'm not sure," she sighs, speaking honestly, "... but I'll let you know."

Park Chaeyoung leans in for a chaste kiss before getting up, "... should I make you coffee before I go?"

"Go shower, I'll make breakfast and coffee quickly and I'll drive you to the building," he smiles at her, kissing her on the shoulder before getting up himself.

"How did I get the perfect boyfriend?" A blissful smile emerges on her face, "... I love you."

"But come right back when you're done, this is one of the only few free days we both have together. I want to spend it with you."

Her perfect boyfriend indeed.

-

They say that distance makes the heart grow fonder, but why did he feel as though they were drifting apart?

Even now, Jeon Jungkook remembers the way that his girlfriend comes back to his apartment a little after lunch, eyes swollen red. He knows she'd been crying.

"What's wrong babe?"

He wonders whether the news of her group mates relationship caused some sort of issue to the group.

"Yang Hyusuk was really upset," she explains, a pout on her lips, "... he said that as a group, we can't afford any more drama. He asked that if we're dating, that we put things on hold for another year."

He remembers the sinking feeling in his stomach, he didn't want to break up with her.

No way.

"Babe—"

"I don't want to break up," she interrupts him and for a moment, he thinks he can finally breathe from relief, "... but we should stop seeing each other, at least physically. We should just text and call, until the dating ban officially ends."

He agrees, only because he can see how stressed the ordeal is.

But as time goes on, their texts become shorter—and calls become more difficult to schedule. Prior to the situation, they used to call and talk for hours, about their lives and random parts of their day but now—their calls barely reached the hour mark.

Were they really drifting apart?

Every time he'd ask about where they stood, she'd tell him that she's sorry and that she's just tired.

But he knew, there was something else, something more.

He can't take it anymore.

Seeing that she was hanging around Lee Hyeri more, he picks up the phone and tells her everything. At first, the other woman doesn't believe him—interviewing him on a few stories that she'd heard from the other before confirming his identity.

"She was crying to me last week," she informs him.

He feels guilty, knowing that his girlfriend is not someone who easily opens up to others, and knows there must've been a great deal of stress that brought her to that stage.

"But it won't be fair for me to say what it is, it's not my words to say," she explains, "... but for what it's worth, it's clear she really loves you—a lot."

"Whatever happens, please take care of her for me," he requests.

When the phone call end, he calls her, but she already can hear that he's in the car.

"I'm coming over now."

That night, they both cry in the room of her dorm (not caring that the other three girls are finally knowing her the mystery man is).

"I'm sorry Koo, I've been a bad girlfriend," she tells him, still crying between her words, "... I feel so guilty, that our relationship is like this because of me and my agency."

"Hey, it's not your fault. It's okay, I can wait—I can wait a decade, if it's for you," he promises her, "... as long as it's the two of us. Even if it's just calls or texts—we can keep it to ourselves for now, there's no rush."

"Are you sure you're not angry at me?" She looks at him with wide eyes, "... I know I've been stupid. I was so scared—every time we called or texted, I wondered if we were going to break up and that's why I've been like this."

He chuckles, "... of course not, babe. But we need to communicate and be honest, okay? Don't keep your feelings to yourself, I'm here to hold your burden with you. That's what boyfriend duties entails."

She smiles, for the first time that night, "... I love you, Jeon Jungkook."

He thinks that in whatever circumstances, the pair are really destined for one another.

Whether the whole world knew or no one else knew, or whether they had to date in secret or are exposed to the world, Jeon Jungkook cannot see himself with anyone else but her. He doesn't know what the future holds, but for now, they'll enjoy whatever they can have with one another.