It was all a lie

My mother said you'll enjoy university, you'll make a lot of friends too and my dad, well all he just said was good luck and shit.....what any normal dad would say that you haven't seen or communicated with face to face in almost three years.

But reality of it all, I'm not enjoying university and who needs friends anyways? Not me.

These thoughts run through my mind as I stand infront of the door, contemplating on whether I should run away and become a stripper or open it.

It's not too late though if I think about. Sure I can't dance but I think I'll look good with wrapped around a pole

I end up opening it though, now its too late.

I didn't know the decisions I make in college would be this bad, like come on who chooses to open the door instead. This girl right here.

I put my bags down quickly without checking the room whatsoever and turn back to the secretary who accompanied me.

“Are you sure there's really nothing you can do? ” I ask horrified.

“I’m sorry, we've tried but we couldn't change anything,”

Sure you did

“How about my last roommate Isabella,I think her name is, isn't there a way for me to room with her again?” I ask having a tinge of hope.

“She's the one who requested a roommate change,” That bitch, I'm an amazing roommate, I think

Okay it's fine, don't lash out— nahh I'm not that calm right now

“He’s a fucking asshole okay? Can't you just give my own fucking room I don't quite care where it is, okay no I actually do but still. Why would you let me, innocent Vanessa dorm with a diiiii—,” I drag out until I just cut myself off after I see her looking behind me.

Oh shit.

She starts walking walking and I immediately try stopping her.

“Nooo come back, I need a human shield!!” I yell after her but she only looks back at me like I'm crazy then increases her pace away from me.

Splendid job Van, this is a perfect first impression. I turn around and look at Damon, angry looking Damon.

“Sup Damon,” I say enthusiastically,“I was definitely not talking about you by the way, I was acting and ironically it's the same situation that's happening right now, I want to be actor so every opportunity I get I act. Anyone would be lucky to dorm with you, I am very happy right now, ecstatic even,” I'm rambling, fucking stop rambling mate

Not even a six year old would believe that shit. I don't even want to be actor, its shitty job if you can't get into the big leagues

I just wanted to stay invisible is that too much to ask, it's a very cool superpower I possess especially whenever I enter any and every room....

“Do you really think I believe that shit?” he says, we thought the same thing.

“No I do not but it was worth a try right?” I say giving him two thumps up and an overly exaggerated smile

“I can't believe I got paired up with a bitch,” he mutters walking out of our room slamming the door.

Normally I would ask what the fuck is his problem but given the fact that I'm his problem I'll just shut up.

Like I get that I took pennies out of the fountain once when I was what—six but punishing me like this, it's just too brutal.

Atleast his hot, now that's a plus.

I have to make a mental note to eye fuck him later, he is one fine specimen I'll give him that then the asshole,dickhead and so on just shines through as well.

But at the moment I'm the one being the asshole and the dickhead.

I take this opportunity to look around, so there's a small living room then a hallway on the left where I'm guessing the bedrooms are. I open the first door and see a bathroom then see doors opposite each other. The room on the right already has Damon's stuff so I go to the left one.

I start unpacking my stuff then I put my suitcases under my bed. I then put my books clumsily on the desk beside my bed. It almost looks like my room back home.

I walk out then look at his door. Yeah almost.

I grab my phone to call my mom and to tell her about how well I've settled in. Though I doubt she cares

After about two rings she finally picks up.

“Hi Mom how you holding up without me?” She's probably okay, even when I lived with her I was not needed she always had them.

“Oh don't be silly you know your brother and Ashely visit me often and plus I'm not alone I have Mark from next door,”

“Have you made your first move yet?” I ask trying to make small talk.

She obviously likes him and I guess a small part of me wants him to replace my dad, we always got along way better than my dad and I ever did

Don't get me wrong I love my dad—not to death though but still I'll always love the guy –cause I feel obligated to–even though he cheated on my mom no one can actually replace him no matter how much I want them to but let's face it has been three years and my mom hasn't found the right person yet, I just don't want her to never have a chance at finding love again while my dad is busy playing happy families with i dont even know who.

“I’m too old for that,”

“You’re never too old and plus you're the hottest 37 year old I've ever met,” okay that's not true at all but she does fucking get more compliments in a single day than I've ever had my entire life so...

“I’ll see, have you settled in okay and are you still roommates with Tiffany?” so that's her name damn I was completely wrong.

The only reason I wanted to dorm with Tiffany in the first place was because she never bothered me, we had a mutual agreement, we do not talk to each other unless it's very very necessary. It was perfect for me because it made me achieve what I wanted so easily.

“I’ve settled in well and yes I'm still roommates with Tiffany,” I lie

She'll just jump into conclusions and make everything a very big mess and I'm not mentally or physically ready for that so lying to her it is.

“Okay good—oh I have to go Ashely and Sam just got here, talk to you later” By later she means after I decide to actually call her which I'll never do until she probably thinks I'm dead, she did it once if I remember correctly.

“Oh okay, love—” I start to say but she cuts the call,“you,” I say into the empty room, it felt right to say that but deep down I knew I didn't mean it.

I can't say my dad is any better, it was very clear to me that he was blessed with my brother and diagnosed with me.

I haven't been in contact with him for over a year now. He does send me money every month though I just don't have the guts to say thank you.

I know maybe that makes me a terrible daughter but he's a terrible father aswell though, I guess I'll have to apologize like how I have this nagging feeling to apologize to Damon— yeah that's not going to happen.

But come on looking at it from a different perspective he also called me a bitch.......right after I called him an asshole and a dickhead, see we're even.

Seems like my roommate is staying somewhere else tonight given its now 11 pm and he's still not back yet or maybe his waiting until really late just to avoid talking to me.

Probably that, I mean I would gladly do it too.

I'm actually happy I did that now, saying those things I mean cause now I won't be seeing him a lot making it easy for me to stay away from him so technically I'm not lying to my mom.

You still are my inner voice says

oh shit sticks.

Damon doesn't know me but I know him well everyone knows him and he's a complete dick to some people and I thought that once I start dorming with him he will start being an asshole to me too, everyone I meet is like that so why would he be different.

Okay I'm just making up excuses.

I think you notice how I don't have friends but if you count Tiffany maybe I do. I don't.

But I guess I like it this way, friends will only hurt you in the end so I'd rather be lonely than hurt.