《Haikyuu!! x Male reader one-shots》-Kageyama Tobio-

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"More beer!"

"Drink it up, man!"

"Hell yeah!"

"How's managing Seijoh 'comin for ya, (Y/n)?"

"Fuck, it's whatever."

"Remember when you used to be a setter with Tobio?"

"Yeah, you were such a good setter. Shame that your mom... y'know?"

"Fuck, Tobio, he's a useless little bitch, dude!"

"He's your brother."

"Yeah, I fucking hate him"

"You hate everyone. You even hate Yahaba, and he's an angel."

"Exactly, I hate everyone, they're ruining my life!"

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(Y/n)-chan, why'd you add Tobio-chan to the group chat?

What am I doing here?

Can't we just kick him out?

(Y/n)-san is the admin for this chat meaning we can't add or remove anyone unless he gives admin to someone else

I'm trying to SLEEP. It's 2 AM people

I sense chaos

I thrive in the chaos

WTF ARE YOU DOING THIS LATE IT'S 2 AM

Calm down, guys

Please spill the tea quickly so we can go to sleep

You are a useless

Useless

Useless child

The most useless child in this whole ass world

Huh? Who are you talking to?

I think it's Kageyama

Possibly since he just added him for no reason

FUCKING PRIVATE CHATS EXISTS!

That's a bit rude, (Y/n)-san.

Yahaba he insults you everyday

(Y/n) where is this coming from?

I am so confused

I wasn't expecting this

We don't even know if he's talking to Kageyama, let's not make assumptions

Also could you clarify on that?

La la la

lol are you drunk?

You are useless at studies

exercises, and volleyball

Me?

Doesn't he always say Kageyama is bad at volleyball?

Oh... so I'm bad at volleyball?

Whoa, chill, (Y/n)-chan

No, you're a really good volleyball player @Kageyama

Don't pay attention to that

... thank you, Watari-san

How tf would you know what's classified as a good player from a bad one if you don't play volleyball yourself?

You're just a destitute

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dense

and dirty child

(Y/n)-san, I think that's enough

This is so random

Do you even like anything about me, (Y/n)?

Yet I still fell in love with that sobbing

Which came from your mouth

What?

I'm just so confused

Wait so (Y/n)-chan likes to see people cry?

That seems kinda sadistic ngl

But who is he even talking about?

Well he's pretty mean to us all (except me cause I'm his favourite obviously), but most context clues lead to Kageyama

...

Who couldn't even utter his own name

Kageyama can't say his own name?

What?

At this point (Y/n) is just saying random shit

True though

Stupid glasses, wearing a dumb blue cap, and retardedly accurate sets

... so it's me

(Y/n)-chan, you should stop. He's your brother.

(Y/n), tone it down...

Retarded, cry baby, scardy cat

Just ignore it all!

...

I don't even know what to say at this point

^

I think we all agree on that

Come here!

I'll be the one who will protect you!

Together, together

Get yourself together

I- what?

So I am confusion

Not the time guys!

La la

A lullaby, good night

Sorry I just put Kentarou to sleep. What'd I miss?

The whole ass season

Let's sing a song that will allow us to

Sleep at ease

C'mon sing it

Sing it with me!

So we're singing now...?

This has been a rollercoaster of a half an hour

This is still confusing

You lonely, wretched child!

OK, I'm so confused, I think I'll go to sleep then read the texts tomorrow

OK, night.

You are a useless

Useless

Useless child

You're the most good for nothing child in the world

Hi, it's Hinata. Can you tell me why Kags just ran to my house crying right now?

...

Back read, and (Y/n) is Kageyama's elder brother

... my sister can be annoying sometimes but hell I wouldn't even go calling her a 'useless child'

You are useless! Useless! Useless child!

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(Y/n), do you hate me that much?

A child who would've been dead if it weren't for me!

What?

Look, I'm sorry mom made you do that, OK?

Wait what?

You're a useless, useless, useless child

A sad, sad good for nothing kid

At this point we should just let him do his thing

Yeah no matter how hard we try to stop him he won't anyway

Yeah

...

You're a useless, useless, useless child

"I'll be the one who will save you."

La la la...

La la la

Again with the la la la shit?

Is this a song?

Maybe?

... (Y/n), are you drunk or something?

Exactly what I was wondering

He's not of legal age yet! He can't drink!

Monster, freak show, invisible human

...

Wtf the longer this goes on the more confusing it gets

Freak show? Like Sub Urban's song?

The flower vase in the urinal, skipping school

Wtf?

??????

What?

I spoke too soon didn't I?

Yeah-

With seared lips, a small voice springs fourth slander

You're that small voice!!! (Hinata btw)

I'll have to agree with Hinata-kun

Let's listen to the monotone shriek

...?

Nevertheless, time continues to continue and continue

You are a child with not enough time or brains

I'm pretty sure we only have one brain? Idk tho I failed my bio class ಥ_ಥ

Now it's too late, you're just so retarded

"Such a cute child, good child, you belong to only me"

It's in quotes

Maybe someone said it to him or Kageyama

Possibly.

Or maybe he said it to himself

Who tf calls themselves a "cute child"

La la

Again with the la la shit? It's been 3 times already

I'm getting a little concerned for (Y/n)'s sanity

A lullaby, sleep tight

I'm just speculating but could he be "singing" a lullaby to us this whole time?

Yeah maybe?

Yeah but we need him to give us a confirmation

With a feeling of falling asleep

Dance with me, dance, dance, let's dance forever!

Lonely, lonely child!

Child

Child

I'm seeing "child" so much it feels like a fake word

Agreed

I'm just about to die this is so confusing

He's calling Kageyama a lonely child, and also saying for him to stay with him forever?

(Y/n) please make up your mind

What do you think about me?

You're a useless useless useless child

The world's most useless child

...

(Y/n), we get it, please stop

You're a lonely, lonely, lonely child

Since I'll protect you forever

...

(Y/n), stop, please!

Even so that child is a leery child

And ran away from my side

No offense, but if I had a brother like that, I'd probably runaway as well

This is Hinata btw

What does leery mean?

Leery: cautious or wary due to realistic suspicions

Oh...

And before they can realize it, the child was covered in wounds

I'm not covered in wounds...

...

Wait so he wasn't talking about Kageyama?

Even so that child reminded me of someone

Child

Child

Child

Child

Huh? Wait so that child reminded you of someone?

I'M A USELESS, USELESS USELESS CHILD!

... Wait what?

...

"..." indeed

I'm a useless child, and all that time the child was me!

I am just astounded

Ikr

... (Y/n), where are you?

You're not useless (Y/n)!

I'M A USELESS, USELESS USELESS CHILD!

I looked at your snap location, (Y/n), why are you at the school's highest building?

Nobody can save me!

(Y/n)-san, don't do what I think you're gonna do

I am a terribly, terribly lonely child

I'm so lonely, my cheery self I am no more

... (Y/n) please get off the roof!

If you feel lonely, we'll help you feel better, please just get off the roof! I'm going to Seijoh right now!

I'm a lonely lonely lonely child

If only I could revert time, then...

No, (Y/n)-san, don't jump!

La la la

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This is it... I'll die here...

I'll miss you, Kunimi-kun... Shittykawa, Hajime, Makki, Mattsun...

I'm sorry I'm a bad brother, Tobio... but I gave you my kidney, and you didn't even thank me for it

I had to fucking stop playing volleyball because mom made me give you my fucking kidney, goddammit!

I think I might've drank too much...

The landing looks so soft... hopefully it isn't

Well this is it, I guess. Good bye, everyone.

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I'm sorry I was too late, (Y/n)-san... I didn't react fast enough to save you

If you can hear me, I just want to say...

I love you so much...

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I hear you Kunimi-kun, I love you too

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