《Haikyuu!! x Male reader one-shots》-Kageyama Tobio-
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"More beer!"
"Drink it up, man!"
"Hell yeah!"
"How's managing Seijoh 'comin for ya, (Y/n)?"
"Fuck, it's whatever."
"Remember when you used to be a setter with Tobio?"
"Yeah, you were such a good setter. Shame that your mom... y'know?"
"Fuck, Tobio, he's a useless little bitch, dude!"
"He's your brother."
"Yeah, I fucking hate him"
"You hate everyone. You even hate Yahaba, and he's an angel."
"Exactly, I hate everyone, they're ruining my life!"
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(Y/n)-chan, why'd you add Tobio-chan to the group chat?
What am I doing here?
Can't we just kick him out?
(Y/n)-san is the admin for this chat meaning we can't add or remove anyone unless he gives admin to someone else
I'm trying to SLEEP. It's 2 AM people
I sense chaos
I thrive in the chaos
WTF ARE YOU DOING THIS LATE IT'S 2 AM
Calm down, guys
Please spill the tea quickly so we can go to sleep
You are a useless
Useless
Useless child
The most useless child in this whole ass world
Huh? Who are you talking to?
I think it's Kageyama
Possibly since he just added him for no reason
FUCKING PRIVATE CHATS EXISTS!
That's a bit rude, (Y/n)-san.
Yahaba he insults you everyday
(Y/n) where is this coming from?
I am so confused
I wasn't expecting this
We don't even know if he's talking to Kageyama, let's not make assumptions
Also could you clarify on that?
La la la
lol are you drunk?
You are useless at studies
exercises, and volleyball
Me?
Doesn't he always say Kageyama is bad at volleyball?
Oh... so I'm bad at volleyball?
Whoa, chill, (Y/n)-chan
No, you're a really good volleyball player @Kageyama
Don't pay attention to that
... thank you, Watari-san
How tf would you know what's classified as a good player from a bad one if you don't play volleyball yourself?
You're just a destitute
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dense
and dirty child
(Y/n)-san, I think that's enough
This is so random
Do you even like anything about me, (Y/n)?
Yet I still fell in love with that sobbing
Which came from your mouth
What?
I'm just so confused
Wait so (Y/n)-chan likes to see people cry?
That seems kinda sadistic ngl
But who is he even talking about?
Well he's pretty mean to us all (except me cause I'm his favourite obviously), but most context clues lead to Kageyama
...
Who couldn't even utter his own name
Kageyama can't say his own name?
What?
At this point (Y/n) is just saying random shit
True though
Stupid glasses, wearing a dumb blue cap, and retardedly accurate sets
... so it's me
(Y/n)-chan, you should stop. He's your brother.
(Y/n), tone it down...
Retarded, cry baby, scardy cat
Just ignore it all!
...
I don't even know what to say at this point
^
I think we all agree on that
Come here!
I'll be the one who will protect you!
Together, together
Get yourself together
I- what?
So I am confusion
Not the time guys!
La la
A lullaby, good night
Sorry I just put Kentarou to sleep. What'd I miss?
The whole ass season
Let's sing a song that will allow us to
Sleep at ease
C'mon sing it
Sing it with me!
So we're singing now...?
This has been a rollercoaster of a half an hour
This is still confusing
You lonely, wretched child!
OK, I'm so confused, I think I'll go to sleep then read the texts tomorrow
OK, night.
You are a useless
Useless
Useless child
You're the most good for nothing child in the world
Hi, it's Hinata. Can you tell me why Kags just ran to my house crying right now?
...
Back read, and (Y/n) is Kageyama's elder brother
... my sister can be annoying sometimes but hell I wouldn't even go calling her a 'useless child'
You are useless! Useless! Useless child!
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(Y/n), do you hate me that much?
A child who would've been dead if it weren't for me!
What?
Look, I'm sorry mom made you do that, OK?
Wait what?
You're a useless, useless, useless child
A sad, sad good for nothing kid
At this point we should just let him do his thing
Yeah no matter how hard we try to stop him he won't anyway
Yeah
...
You're a useless, useless, useless child
"I'll be the one who will save you."
La la la...
La la la
Again with the la la la shit?
Is this a song?
Maybe?
... (Y/n), are you drunk or something?
Exactly what I was wondering
He's not of legal age yet! He can't drink!
Monster, freak show, invisible human
...
Wtf the longer this goes on the more confusing it gets
Freak show? Like Sub Urban's song?
The flower vase in the urinal, skipping school
Wtf?
??????
What?
I spoke too soon didn't I?
Yeah-
With seared lips, a small voice springs fourth slander
You're that small voice!!! (Hinata btw)
I'll have to agree with Hinata-kun
Let's listen to the monotone shriek
...?
Nevertheless, time continues to continue and continue
You are a child with not enough time or brains
I'm pretty sure we only have one brain? Idk tho I failed my bio class ಥ_ಥ
Now it's too late, you're just so retarded
"Such a cute child, good child, you belong to only me"
It's in quotes
Maybe someone said it to him or Kageyama
Possibly.
Or maybe he said it to himself
Who tf calls themselves a "cute child"
La la
Again with the la la shit? It's been 3 times already
I'm getting a little concerned for (Y/n)'s sanity
A lullaby, sleep tight
I'm just speculating but could he be "singing" a lullaby to us this whole time?
Yeah maybe?
Yeah but we need him to give us a confirmation
With a feeling of falling asleep
Dance with me, dance, dance, let's dance forever!
Lonely, lonely child!
Child
Child
I'm seeing "child" so much it feels like a fake word
Agreed
I'm just about to die this is so confusing
He's calling Kageyama a lonely child, and also saying for him to stay with him forever?
(Y/n) please make up your mind
What do you think about me?
You're a useless useless useless child
The world's most useless child
...
(Y/n), we get it, please stop
You're a lonely, lonely, lonely child
Since I'll protect you forever
...
(Y/n), stop, please!
Even so that child is a leery child
And ran away from my side
No offense, but if I had a brother like that, I'd probably runaway as well
This is Hinata btw
What does leery mean?
Leery: cautious or wary due to realistic suspicions
Oh...
And before they can realize it, the child was covered in wounds
I'm not covered in wounds...
...
Wait so he wasn't talking about Kageyama?
Even so that child reminded me of someone
Child
Child
Child
Child
Huh? Wait so that child reminded you of someone?
I'M A USELESS, USELESS USELESS CHILD!
... Wait what?
...
"..." indeed
I'm a useless child, and all that time the child was me!
I am just astounded
Ikr
... (Y/n), where are you?
You're not useless (Y/n)!
I'M A USELESS, USELESS USELESS CHILD!
I looked at your snap location, (Y/n), why are you at the school's highest building?
Nobody can save me!
(Y/n)-san, don't do what I think you're gonna do
I am a terribly, terribly lonely child
I'm so lonely, my cheery self I am no more
... (Y/n) please get off the roof!
If you feel lonely, we'll help you feel better, please just get off the roof! I'm going to Seijoh right now!
I'm a lonely lonely lonely child
If only I could revert time, then...
No, (Y/n)-san, don't jump!
La la la
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This is it... I'll die here...
I'll miss you, Kunimi-kun... Shittykawa, Hajime, Makki, Mattsun...
I'm sorry I'm a bad brother, Tobio... but I gave you my kidney, and you didn't even thank me for it
I had to fucking stop playing volleyball because mom made me give you my fucking kidney, goddammit!
I think I might've drank too much...
The landing looks so soft... hopefully it isn't
Well this is it, I guess. Good bye, everyone.
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I'm sorry I was too late, (Y/n)-san... I didn't react fast enough to save you
If you can hear me, I just want to say...
I love you so much...
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I hear you Kunimi-kun, I love you too
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