《Hold On✔️》4
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Muhammad Ayden; the untold stories.
"Teruk mata kau, Ayden. Tak cukup tidur ke?" Ijat menyoal. Dah lama perasan mata sembab Ayden tu. Beberapa hari ni rupa macam tak cukup tidur je.
Laju Ayden anggukkan kepala. Punggung dihenyak di atas sofa. "Haah. Asik ada nightmare je,"
Nightmare lah sangat. Dia asik mimpi arwah Zahra dan Adrian. Memori bersama kedua orang tuanya asik kembali dalam mimpi. Berjaya buat Ayden terjaga sambil menangis setiap malam.
Ijat kerut dahi. "Kau ada lalui something ke masa kecik dulu?" Itu je yang dia mampu fikir. Dia perasan, Ayden ni mimpi ngeri bukan menjerit takut. Tapi menangis.
Maksudnya, mimpi itu menyedihkan bukan menakutkan Ayden. Ijat mengeluh. Lapan tahun kenal kawan yang seorang ni, dia tak tahu apa pun tentang Ayden.
"Something apa? Jatuh tangga?" Selamba Ayden buat loyar buruk. Soalan Ijat tu memang dia tak mahu jawab. Membiarkan kisah dulu jadi rahsia.
Bahu Ijat jatuh. Dia duduk bersila menghadap Ayden. "Kau ni berasal dari mana sebenarnya? Anak orang utan ke?" Curious.
Mana tahu Ayden ni sebenarnya anak jutawan yang hilang ingatan? Dapat lah dia minta duit tebusan kalau betul. Bukan sekejap dia bela anak orang yang entah siapa ni.
Ayden bangkit dari duduk. Malas nak melayan Ijat. Dia tak ada rasa nak jawab soalan Ijat tu langsung. Buat apa nak tahu siapa mak ayah dia? Yang duduk dengan Ijat sekarang ni Ayden.
"Kau tak rasa ke kau macam over nak sorok asal usul kau?" Ijat bersuara serius. Jauh dalam hati, tak puas hati dengan Ayden yang berahsia soal diri sejak kali pertama mereka bersua muka.
Langkah Ayden terhenti. Bibirnya diketap menahan rasa. "Habis kau tak over nak tahu pasal hidup aku? Buat kerja kau je lah."
Belum sempat kaki melangkah pergi, suara Ijat buat Ayden rasa nak tumbuk je muka lelaki tu. "Kenapa? Mana mak ayah kau? Kau kena buang keluarga?"
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"Shut your mouth, Ijat." Tegas Ayden memberi amaran. Kena buang keluarga? Tak ada sesiapa yang buang dia. Ayden yang hilangkan diri.
Masuk ke dalam biliknya, pintu dihempas kasar. Punggung dilabuhkan di birai katil. Wajah insan - insan yang menjaga waktu dia kecil berlegar dalam kepala.
Ibu, ayah. Dua insan yang dah pergi. Rasa macam Tuhan kejam sebab tarik ayah bila dia dah kehilangan ibu sejak tujuh tahun.
Tak cukup, nenek dan atuk belah ibu dia terlibat dalam kemalangan yang sama dengan ayah dia. Ayden yang dah lapan belas dijaga oleh Grandpa David, satu - satunya ahli keluarga yang dia ada.
Tapi lepas tu—
Mata dipejam. Banyak. Banyak sebab yang buat Ayden jadi begini. Tak rasa nak bagitahu asal - usul dan perihal diri sendiri.
Sebab, Ayden tak sanggup nak tengok pandangan itu lagi. Kasihan, simpati dan mengejek. Kelakar tapi itu yang Ayden lalui.
Cukup lah dia pernah lalui semua tu dulu. Tak mahu orang buat ulang- tayang ujaran yang meninggalkan parut dalam hati Ayden.
Kalau bersembunyi dari dunia buat dia lupa diri dia yang dulu, Ayden sanggup. Ayden sanggup buat - buat lupa dengan masa lalu dia.
Kalau itu boleh lupakan betapa sakitnya dia.
"Happy birthday b!" Shila menepuk tangan dengan gembira. Teruja nak menyambut hari lahir kekasih hati.
Mata Ayden menatap lama kek yang terletak di atas meja makan bersama lilin itu. "Awak ingat birthday saya?"
Riak wajah Ayden kosong. Antara gembira dan sedih, perasaannya ditengah. Tapi tak tipu yang ada rasa terharu bila Shila nak sambut hari lahir dia.
Mata Shila membulat dengar soalan Ayden. "Mesti lah ingat! Hari ni hari awak lahir ke dunia. Thanks to your mother, saya jumpa awak."
Mother?
Hati Ayden berdetak lain. Tak mahu buat Shila tunggu lama, dia meniup lilin di atas kek itu. "Thanks."
"Sama - sama sayang," bahu Ayden diusap. Dia hulurkan pisau potong kek kepada Ayden. "Potong kek tu. Nanti kita buka hadiah yang saya bagi ya?"
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Ayden tak membalas. Lama dia memerhati pisau yang dihulur Shila. Entah kenapa, memori yang dia sedaya upaya lupakan terlayar bagai skrin.
"Happy birthday anak ayah!" Rambut anak terunanya diusap penuh kasih.
Ayden mengukir senyuman lebar. Lilin yang di atas kek dia tiup sebelum mengucup pipi Adrian, ayah dia. "Thank you ayah. I'm glad you are here."
Adrian senyum. Faham maksud kata anaknya yang dah berusia enam belas tahun itu. "I will always by yourside, sayang."
"Ayah janji?"
"Janji."
Tapi pada hari lahir Ayden yang ke lapan belas—
"Ayden," tangan Ayden digoncang. Mengejutkan lelaki itu yang hanyut dengan dunia sendiri. Berkali nama Ayden dipanggil, lelaki itu diam sahaja.
"Shila," Anak mata birunya merenung wajah Shila yang menanti dia menghabiskan bicara. Ayden mengetap bibir. "Lepas ni jangan sambut birthday saya lagi boleh?"
Dahi Shila berkerut. Mulut separuh terbuka dengar permintaan Ayden. "W-why? Awak tak suka kek ni ke? Nak kek lain?" Terkejut.
Apa yang tak kena dengan cara Shila sambut hari lahir Ayden? Dia hanya buat semampu dia. Ayden tak suka ke? Ayden nak makan apa?
Pantas Ayden gelengkan kepala. "Bukan. Saya cuma... tak suka sambut hari jadi."
Serba salah kalau tak nak sambut kali ni sebab Shila dah beria, tapi dia beritahu awal - awal supaya tahun - tahun yang akan datang, gadis tu tak semangat nak sambut sedangkan dia tak mahu.
Shila mengangguk. Dalam kepala dah semat baik - baik hal satu tu. "Sorry, saya tak tahu. Patut lah saya tanya Ijat pun, dia kata tak pernah sambut birthday awak."
Segaris senyuman Ayden tarik. Bahu Shila dia tepuk tanda tak mengapa. "Tak apa. Kali ni kita celebrate je lah. Mana hadiah yang awak nak kasi?"
Macam kejam je kalau nak abaikan Shila yang bersemangat nak sambut hari lahir dia. Kalau tak suka sekalipun, paling tak tunjuk rupa bersyukur.
"Tadaa!" Kotak hadiah yang dia letak tepi kaki meja dia ambil. Shila senyum sampai ke telinga. Tak sabar nak tengok reaksi Ayden.
Ayden ikut tersenyum. Tak dapat nak tipu yang dia suka bila dilayan dan diberi perhatian macam ni. Kotak hadiah bertukar tangan. "Apa ni?"
"Buka dulu, baru tahu."
Tangan Ayden pantas mengoyak kasar pembalut hadiah yang membalut kotak. Bila pembalut terbuka, dia pandang Shila tak percaya. "Apa ni?"
"Laptop. Hari tu awak kata laptop awak rosak kan? Ni saya beli baru." Jawab Shila tenang.
Bibir Ayden melakar senyuman. Kotak tadi dibelek lagi. "Thanks." Tak dapat nak ungkap rasa terharu dia dengan layanan Shila.
Shila senyum sampai ke telinga. Bahu Ayden dia peluk. "Sama - sama sayang. Saya akan buat apa sahaja untuk awak. Awak tahu kan?"
Kepala Ayden mengangguk perlahan. Jauh dalam hati, ada rasa bersalah sebab pergunakan Shila sedangkan gadis itu sangat baik.
Gunakan?
Gunakan yang Ayden maksudkan tak sama macam yang orang lain fikir. Kalau orang lain gunakan kerana harta, Ayden tidak. Dia terima Shila atas kerana kasih sayang dan cinta yang gadis itu berikan.
Kurang kasih sayang dan perhatian buat Ayden ambil keputusan begitu. Tak sukakan Shila, tapi setuju untuk disayangi Shila.
Tapi sampai bila? Sampai bila nak gunakan perempuan yang boleh bersama lelaki yang sepuluh kali lebih baik dari Ayden?
story ni bukan pasal ayden je , i will answer all of your questions with this story. cuma perlu bersabar hahaha. i know what i'm doing and write, pls respect my decision , thank you :))
love,
eyein
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