❥title: days

❥story: angst :')

❥warnings: none

it was 12 in the midnight. the moon that barely illuminated the corners of the dark alleyways and lit up sidewalks, the posts where small lamps were hung up on as a quietude silent offer of helping the shining stars in the pitch black sky light up areas they weren't able to dawn. passing the streets of miyagi wouldn't be such a problem if you know your way through without the needs of broad daylight. despite Sugawara having to memorised his path, he felt lost in his own hometown. as if he were a foreigner that knew no place in what location he was in.

Each step he took only resulted in him wanting to take a step back and rewind all his incorrect yet fated decisions of his. Though he wished days and nights, he was quite aware that it wouldn't come true. He very well knows the hope he wanted to fullfill would always and remain as a empty black hole full of nothing but sorrow and the heavy guilt that pulled him harshly by every part of his body forcibly.

The clock had already striked midnight, the dark circles that were usually invisible towards the people's naked sights, became perceptive once his tired orbs showed his serene - yet awfully exhausted emotions. His lips turning dry and glacial at the point it was beginning to quiver from the cold breeze that landed, his hands were stuffed inside his pockets whilst his body almost trembled once the cool air had hit him. He knew he shouldn't be out in the dark at this exact time, knowing the dangers and endless bad possibilities that may happen to him. Yet he could care less if he had to confess his honesty.

His mind was nothing but a full on blank canvas, no thoughts dared to enter despite him needing his own comfort; Sugawara just wanted someone that would be willing to hug him tight and a shoulder he can fry on whenever his tears brimmed up in the corner of his eyes. Though no one was there to do it for him, not like it would make a difference if someone were to stand next to him, after all; no one would want a broken someone.

He walked through the hallways with a expression of emptiness, his eyes showing no emotion whatsoever and he couldn't function physically, emotionally and mentally well as before, he could only place his mask and pretend - no one would notice what he felt anyways, everyone just stereotyped him as a male mother who had endless ecstasy and the feeling of euphoric happiness inside his bubbly personality, so it didn't give the gray haired male a hard time when convincing others he was fine. It was evidently visible he wasn't himself at the current moment.

But people only believe in what they see. No one around him ever once believed their own thoughts even if they know they were right. They only agree on what their eyes could spot, what their minds could set.

Once Sugawara entered the gymnasium, he was first met with the eyes of the volleyball team completely directed towards him; seeing different colored orbs glancing at him with both sympathy and giving him nothing but pitiful silence and looks, which he only replied with a reassuring smile, his hand waving in the air lightly as he closed his eyes tightly to remove the droplets of water threatening to fall down.

"Guys, come on..we can't let that ruin our daily activities! Okay? Now let's get to practice and carry on!" he cheers, the team responding with replies of slight surprise yet agreements whilst exchanging confused expressions with on another. Not knowing on how Sugawara could show his happiness despite the crucial incident that had unfortunately happened to him, it was painful for Sugawara. Yet how did he have the guts to show his ecstasy?

Nonetheless, he claps his hands before placing both on his hips - the wide bright smile on his face was forced yet he did his best to plaster in for ss long as he needed to, his eyes still closed - afraid the tears he was desperately trying to hide and force away would betray his own feelings. "Stop looking at me like that! We have a team to crush!"

He smiled at the small students that held the palm of their parents, their hands waving in the air as a silent yet memorable gesture of their farewells for the ended day they had, Sugawara watched closely as the adults interact with their children with a bright geniune and wide smiles in their faces that he couldn't help but wonder on what his future would've been if he were to have a family with you.

"Hello teacher Sugawara, how have you been?" a female questioned nicely with a tone of kindness, she was pretty than any females that you may see - she was the gray haired male's previous classmate before, yet Sugawara would only refer to her as nothing but am average woman once it comes to comparing her to you. In the past setter's eyes, you were the most beautiful female he had ever landed eyes on. He wouldn't dare to look away even if he did had a chance to.

"I've been good, thank you."

"I'm glad to hear that, after what happened at high school. I wasn't sure on what would happen to you. Seeing you move on makes me warm," she smiles at Sugawara as the male simply chuckled and nodded away, his hands clasped together softly as they made contact. "Oh I've been great, I've already moved on about that." the woman nodded in response before she took her child in her arms, turning on her heel afterwards the little kid gave his farewells.

The female smiled one last time before she closed the doors with a final small wave, Sugawara could only hear her heels clicking on the echoing hallways as his smile transitioned into a quivering smile, tears that wanted to fall down escaped him swiftly once he fell onto his knees - his hands covering his face, his pained expression still visible even if he tried his best in hiding his miserable look.

He wants a family.

He wants you.

He wants comfort.

He wants more days to spent time with you.

If you were to be alive right now...

WOULD YOU LIVE ENOUGH DAYS TO GIVE HIM WHAT HE DESIRES?

WOULD YOU LEAVE HIM?

WOULD YOU MAKE HIM FEEL PAIN AND GRIEF?

WOULD YOU DIE ON HIM?

Hi bb, sorry if I'm being inactive these days. Just problems I know I can take care of! I hope...

Anyways, I wanted to finish Kenma [2] but I got tempted to write this. So here we are!

I may have gotten a little addicted to chatting anime snapchats..