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I was on the Resistance base, sitting at a desk, thinking about Ben. It would have been our two year anniversary today, and it would also mark one year since he was seduced by Snoke.

Ben and I were in a relationship, and we were happy. When Ben turned, I was surprised, heart broken, and in shock.

Leia was the one who told me, and I didn't believe her, not at first. Not until he came to my home three months later.

I was still really upset, I didn't leave my house, I stayed in my room sitting in a chair, looking out the window.

I was in the middle of crying, when I heard the floor board creak behind me. I jumped up, and grabbed my blaster pistol and shot it at the person behind me, but the blast froze in thin air.

It was a figure in all black, and had a black mask on, he held his hand up, and the blast when through a near by wall.

I was about to shoot again, when the blaster flew into his hand,

"Who are you?" I ask, and the mask makes a hissing sound, then it pulled off the mask.

It revealed the face of the person who I loved so dearly and missed so much, but it wasn't his face. I mean it was, but it was different, in his eyes you could see the pain, and anger. And his face was so pale, it just didn't look like the Ben I knew, the soft, sweet, loving person he was.

"Ben?" I say, and tears are flowing down my face, and he looked back up at me, I walked over to him and hugged him. I melted in his touch, thinking, 'He seems fine..'

"Ben, did you really-"

"It's Kylo Ren now." He says, and I shook my head.

"Maybe to you, and your monkeys, but to me you will always be Ben Solo. The guy I fell in love with. The guy I shared everything with, my best friend, my boyfriend." I say and pick up his gloved hand, "Just come back, it's not too late, you can be with your family, they miss you so much, and so do I." I say, and he pulls his hand back.

"The Ben you speak of is dead. He's gone, Y/N. But you can join me, and we can bring order to the galaxy together.

I know you're strong with the force, and I can make you stronger." He said.

I turned, looking out the window, and he put his hand on my shoulder,

"What do you say? Will you join me?"

As much as I loved him, I couldn't, I just couldn't. "No. I won't. But I still love you Ben." I said, and he turns around, "I don't love you." He said,

and I could hear his footsteps walk out of the room.

I slid down the wall, and cried, it really felt like he stabbed me in the heart.

I was sitting at a desk, and I was pulled out of my thoughts when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around, my eyes puffy, and it was Leia.

She sat down across from me and hugged me. She knew why I was crying, "I know. I know I miss him too." She says, rubbing my back.

The tears running down my face, I didn't know if they were sad tears, or tears of anger. I hated Snoke. I hated him with such a passion, he was the one who took the love of my life away from me, and the only son of Leia and Han.

Leia." I say, and she hugs me tight, I say through tears.

"Me too, Y/N. I know that there is still light in him" she whispers.

Was there still light in him? Is he entirely gone? Is the Ben we once knew, really gone?

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