Damon

Present day

I came back to the house after closing the last minute paper works of the properties I am transferring to Alysia and Enzo and the one I am selling before leaving for Rome.

I can't believe I will be leaving this city, the city I used to rule but then I guess it's a good thing.

I came inside and saw my little angle crying an everyone surrounded her. Charles, Ric, Enzo. Caprice was cradling her. What happened? She was so happy when I left her here after taking her shopping for her wedding dress. She was wearing it that meant Sophia let her wear the dress exactly like Alysia then what? Is she hurt? No! I increased my pace and reached her. Looking me she jumped off Caprice and ran to me. Her little hands wrapped my legs. I sat in front of her "Why is my angel crying?" I said hugging her. "Anybody hurt you?" I asked and she nodded in my shoulder. I lifted her head and she said sobbing "Mommy" . Again why is so strict with her. "What did you do now angel?" I know she goes overboard sometimes with her but not without a reason. She loves her more than anything. "Nothing" she blurted, that can't be true. "She-she found her playing with your gun" said Enzo. Fuck, that might have screwed her up. ,

"Angel?" She looked down giving me guilty glances, God she is so cute, I drifted that thought away or I will never be able to say anything to her.

"What have we decided, huh? No touching to things that aren't safe. You know its not safe angel, I told you not to play with things that are not meant to be played with." She look down, pouting. God I can't scold her, let's leave that job to her mom only. I thought and I lifted her face up "Promise me you will never do it again." I said and she nodded quickly "I won't daddy" she said hugging me. "Well now stop crying, and see who forgot the little veil in the car" I said taking out her veil she brought like Alysia and she cheered up. "Come my Rockstar, you wrecked up your makeup, let me make you pretty" said Caprice tickling her and she giggled. She took her with her.

"Where is she?" I asked knowing very well she wouldn't have taken it up well. "In your room I guess" told Ric.

In these three years, she is not able to get over what happened. Whenever she came across any violence her mind take her back to that factory and whatever happened after that. Can't blame her, I have been a dick to her.

Three years ago

They said that I can't move my hand. To hell with them. I snatched my clothes from her hands. I changed into my jeans. My irritation laced grunts might have brought her behind the curtain. The grunts were due to inability of wearing a shirt with one hand. She started helping me with the shirt and I held her hand "I don't need you" I said in a tone that I never used on her. I was not this rude to her even when she ran away from me. Her eyes told me how I crushed her. She must be going through hell thinking I would die and now when I am awake, all I am doing is hurting her, yet it doesn't feel enough.

She on the other hand didn't voice it out that how rude I was. She simply lowered her eyes and started helping me with the shirt. I held her wrist tightly "I said I-" "I know you don't need me, I do" she said looking at me and I couldn't say anything. She dressed me up and I left the room with her following me.

A gush of blackness surrounded me as I stepped outside the room. I couldn't see anything, my head, my head was spinning and I guess I was about to fall when Enzo and Sophia caught me. "Hey easy brother, dude you need to stay inside" I heard Enzo. "What I need is to see my brother" I blurted out. Enzo helped me reach his room.

I saw him lying so still. Caprice was there talking to him and he was not responding to her at all. She went quite or hearing me "D-Don are you crazy? Wha-what are you doing here? You should be resting." Her voice was like not reaching to me, I took steps closer to Ric. I could see little Ric sitting in the cereal aisle playing his PlayStation when mom and I were going crazy finding him. I could see the angry Ric who fought me to be a part of Laeila's revenge when I asked him to resume his highschool instead of staying back with me. I could see him getting annoyed with me, teasing me for Sophia, Ric was the only thing I had left of my parents, I can't loose him. He somehow became my reason to live. I had taken up this fight against the world for Laeila but I never thought there could be a time where I had to think about living without Ric.

Its my fault that he is here, I told him to save Sophia, I asked him to stay out, had he been inside with me, I would have saved him but he was out to save Sophia. I couldn't say anything to him, unlike Caprice I couldn't talk to him, hell I couldn't look at him. It was his face but I could see my mother's eyes filled with tears and disappointment that I let her down. I couldn't save Laeila then and now Ric, both of them have caught in the crossfire of my violence, my vengeance.

I left the room and leaned on the wall outside. I closed my eyes, how helpless can we become. I call myself the king, we are in bloody America, the most superior nation with all the best medical services available to earth, I have the money to float like water to treat my kiddo, and I can't do shit right now. What's the point of having anything, for being anything.

I felt soft hands on my shoulder and when I opened my eyes I didn't see the big innocent eyes, I saw the reason why my brother is lying like lifeless corpse. I filled with rage, I grabbed her throat and she gasped as I turned, her head banged on the wall as I stood in front of her. My grip was hard, too hard "Da-damon-pl" she couldn't say anything. Just a little more pressure and the reason of my brother's condition will be dead. "YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO STAY AT HOME" I bellowed at her. She was supposed to stay at her home, I told her to stay at home. Had she obeyed me my brother wouldn't be fighting for life. What are you doing Damon, it's not her fault. You love her, she is innocent, a voice in me was bugging me to leave her, let her live. No, she did this. "I-I a-am-so-so-Da-" she stuttered something and her eyes were closing, her hands were trying to pry my hand off but her attempts were failing. let her live Damon. she is the girl you love. No. I saw her legs giving up, she was falling, her eyes closed. "NO! NO!NO, What have I done?" I came back to my senses. "What happened?" I heard Enzo and Caprice came out. I was sitting on the floor with Sophia lying "No! Doll, Doll wake up, fuck, what have I done, Doll wake up please, please" I kept mumbling as I lifted her head on my lap with my one hand. I kept on slapping her face lightly trying to wake her up. Caprice brought the water bottle and sat beside us "here" she dropped some water on her face and her eyes opened lightly. "Doll, Thank God" I hugged her.

I was scared she wouldn't want to see my face after what I did but instead she hugged me back. "Thank God, I thought I lost you" I said to her rubbing her back. I so wanted to hold her in my arms but I couldn't, dammit. "I am so sorry Damon, it was my fault. I should have obeyed. I know Ric -Its my fault.-" "No, no its not. Its not baby" I said calming her.

After few minutes we got up and I finally convinced her to go home. She needs to stay away from me right now, plus she is so withered. "Have you lost your mind?" Enzo blasted on me "What were you doing, you would have killed her?" he came closer and held me by my collar "That woman was going crazy when you were sleeping, she died like a hundred times when you were inside, and first thing you do is attempt to kill her" he blasted on me "Look I-I don't know what happened, my rage-its just -" "Its nothing, do you even know she hasn't slept since you are here, she hasn't eaten anything. The only thing she cared about was that you woke up, hell she didn't even go home to check on her brother, you think she wanted this. She wanted Ric to be in this condition. She blamed herself enough, you doing that is the last thing she need" he told me. I am so selfish. So selfish. I knew what she would have gone through, if I would have been in her place, I would have tore this hospital down by now. God what have I done? How can I hurt the only thing I care about? I asked Ric to stay with her because keeping her alive mattered the most and now I almost killed her myself. Fuck.

Why I asked her to leave, "I need to be with her" I said moving past Enzo. "No, you need to stay in your bed. You are too high on meds right now. You are weak Don. Stay, please" he pleaded and I nodded at him because the blackness that shadowed my eyes didn't let me do anything more.

When I opened my eyes again I saw her, sleeping with her head on my bed, holding my hand, which I didn't feel and the thought that I couldn't feel her touch was worse than thousand knives stabbing me. I tried to sit up, because that feeling ripped off any comfort her presence brought. "Damon, you woke up?" She said with her soft smile. I don't want to hurt her, anymore but why I am feeling this anger. Thanks to my luck, Doctor came in before I could have done anything stupid "Doctor, when can I go home?" I asked agitated. "Why, you don't like our hospitality?" He said with a light chuckle. "Can you make my hand move?" I asked and he fell silent. "I thought so. I don't think you can do anything more other than putting me on sedatives." I said. "Well Mr. Caprio-" "Look Doc, if I will stay here, I will go crazy. I need to go home. I need to work" I said because if I don't, my mind will kept stuck in how Ric is in coma and I am doing nothing about it. "Fine if you say so, but you need to follow all the medications, exercises and don't miss your appointments" he said and I nodded. "I will tell your friend outside to complete the formalities. You can go home tomorrow." He said and I nodded.

Finally, home sweet home. I let out a sigh as I stepped in my home. Alysia came running "Hey sugar, what's up" I said as she hugged "I am so happy Don, that you are back." She said cheerfully "So am I, kiddo." I said kissing her forehead. "Welcome home Don, wish you a speedy recovery." I heard Charles from behind her. "Charles, good to see you in one piece, how are you bud" I said reaching him. "I am better Don, thank you for saving my life" he said "yeah...well I am the one who put your life in danger in the first place." I said in a low voice rubbing his arms "I am glad that you are alive, kiddo" I said shuffling his hair and he let out a chuckle. "I am glad that you are alive too Don, or else I would have lost my sister too" he said and my eyes turned to Sophia who was busy with Enzo understanding God knows what with my reports and medications.

I reached her and grabbed her waist from behind making her gasp. "Do-don" she said all flustered and I turned her. I lifted her chin making her look at me. "You have done enough, you need to rest. I am not a kid. I can take my medicines. Okay?" I said sliding her hair off her face. "But I want to-" "what you want is a good night's sleep, hmmm. Go upstairs" I said and she nodded slightly and went.

"Good to see you behave" said Enzo "Enzo! She is mine. I may loose my shit on her doesn't mean I don't love her. Don't give me the crap telling me how to behave with my girl. Make sure this is the last time you said anything like this" I blurted in anger. I can't take this nonsense anymore.

As the days were passing my irritation was growing to no bounds. Ric is not waking up and that really kept me off the edge. Plus I am still not able to handle the fact that I have to eat, write and shoot with left hand. It's not like I cannot kill with left hand, but I am not able to load the gun with one hand yet and Sophia was becoming the victim all this anger, like right now "I told you Sophia, just leave me alone will, ya?" I screamed at her because she is forcing me to leave Mafia. Again. I don't know what this new thing is. We are having this fight almost everyday in the past one month.

"Damon you need to understand. This violence has taken so much from us. Why can't you leave it for good" she said pressing the topic. "Ahhhh" she screamed as I pulled her hair, she was inches away from me and my mind went to the moment for the first time she came to my house. She was so scared as I trailed my gun on her face. She was that scared today too but today I can't hold her and trail my gun at her at the same time and this thought is driving me crazy. The thought that I am not the same Damon she loved is driving me crazy. The only thing I left to connect me remotely to the fact that I am still the same is me being the Don and she is taking that away. Why? Does she think I can't handle being the Don? Everyone still is scared of me as much as they were before and the way I killed Russo has made people fear me even more. "Do you think that I can't be the Don anymore? Don't even for a minute think that just because I lost one hand I can't be king. I can still control my world and you too. Don't have any doubts about that" I told her in vexation. "Damon!" She said with shock in her eyes. She was disheartened at my behavior with her. I hated that look in her eyes. I left her with a jerk and she almost fell but she supported herself holding one of the pillar of the bed.

What the hell are you doing Damon? A voice in me told me to stop before I ruin it any further. She got a hold of herself and wiped her tears, I haven't being this rude with her ever, no matter how I hurt her, punished her, I never was so unloving towards her.

She didn't say anything, she didn't have to, her eyes said it all. They gave her disappointment and contempt. It killed me more than this pain that I was feeling with the loss of my hand.

She stopped before turning the knob of the door "Damon" she said, how can she love me even now. I hurt her, humiliate her, I fight with her everyday yet how can she muster so much love calling my name. "I don't want you to leave Mafia because I think you can't rule, you can't kill anymore. I want you to leave Mafia because I don't want you to kill anymore, because I-" "Shutup, just leave" I cut her in between. I can't take this love from her. I don't deserve it. I need her to be scared of me, not love me.

"I said leave! Now!" I shouted at her when she doesn't left. She took steps back and left the room. I reached the closed door and I know she was standing there. I could hear her sobs. I break her more and more everyday. Why am I doing this? I cannot understand this internal battle going on inside me where a part of me is dying to embrace her, to loose myself in her fragrance and another part want her to stay away from me. Where a part of me can only see pure unconditional love in her eyes and the other part that points at the pity in her in eyes. There is a part of me that want to hurt her only to cherish her and the other part wants me to forget that she ever came in my life. I can be anything but not the reason of her incompleteness.

I stayed out in the backyard till late that night. I was practicing my shooting with left hand. I can't afford to have any weakness. It's not like that I am failing its just I am not satisfied, I don't know what is this inside me that is not getting content no matter what I do, how much I drink how much I shoot, how much I kill, how much I kept myself busy with work, extortion, arms, Ric's treatments nothing seems to give me the satisfaction. You know what's missing. Shutup I scolded my inner conscience for missing her.

"Ugghhh" I let out a grunt as the magazine of my gun fell as I failed again to load the gun with one hand. I saw her sitting at the ground to pick that up. "What are you doing here Sophia?" I stopped calling her Doll. That reminded me of us. The us that has got lost that night in the factory.

She looked above and stretched her hand with the magazine and I took it from her. She was crying. Why? Thanks to you, you moron she is always crying now. My inner conscience barked at me. I remembered how much I used to love these tears. I still do but not the one which are spent in agony. I want her to cry when she is getting the pleasure out of them.

"Damon" her voice broke my trance. "I-I am sorry for whatever I did that has taken you so far from me. Please tell me how to make it right whatever wrong I did. Just tell me what I need to do that I can be your Doll again. I can't take this distance anymore" she kept crying, I sat next to her. I lifted her face and looked at her. When I looked her I saw the girl I took to my cabin. She was so happy and I ruined her. She was better off without me, I took her from the auction, mend her broken pieces and broke her again. "Is-is it because I asked you to leave Mafia. I-I am sorry Damon, I will never say that again. If you need to be the Don then be the Don, you will always be my king Damon." She said and I couldn't form a reply. What was her fault? Why was I angry at her? Why was I pushing her away? I don't know myself what shall I tell her. "When-how you started hating me Damon, you loved me so much. Don't take that away from me. I will do anything you want just please come back Damon." She said and I could see her broken heart pouring down her cheeks. I touched her face and kissed her tears. "I can never hate you Doll, you are my life" I said in almost a whisper maybe that I want to say to her yet don't want her to hear it. "Then why?" She asked cupping my cheeks. "Are you angry at me because of I wanted you to leave this violence? Trust me Damon, I have no doubts in your capabilities. I just-I just didn't want our child to grow up in this violence" she blurted out crying.

I pulled her face making her look at me "What did you say?" I asked her puzzled, did she say child? "I am pregnant Damon" she said holding my cheeks. Her sobs turned into her smile.