Ashe P.O.V

When I was dreaming of a darkness deeper and colder than I had ever experienced; a feeling of distrust, loss, a feeling of dirtiness and vulnerability. I hid deep down, back to a corner, making my own little sanctuary from the frost, in the size and shape of a small cabinet. In fact, I remember often when I was younger crawling into one of the many storage closets, cupboard and cabinets to play. It felt cozy, safe, hidden. I didn't want to remember anything aside from those moments and the quiet. If I slipped down far enough, I wouldn't hear the voices, the beeps, or feel the sheets and hands that sometimes touched me. I unwound and felt everything begin to release from me so I was just hidden here away from the cold and darkness that ate away at those ribbons of excess I cast out into the thick tides of fugue.

I had lingered and rested there for an almost immemorial time; the blink of an eye when some odd feel or sound? Ah, there it is again. What was it? I opened and closed my hand within my sanctuary, feeling a settled warmth there. It came and went, the warmth also beginning to curl around my hair and along my face. When I focused on this curiosity, sound came in; a gentle lulling. From this came stories, tales I knew from childhood books, events of everyday life and little secrets. The touch of a kiss. Yes, that's what it was. They were hands that held my hand and carded my hair. They were kisses to my forehead. It was a light, almost maternal, voice that pushed all other sounds away, her voice drawing me into imaginations of a family. One that I was part of.

And that voice with those hands kept leaving. Every time was like being hugged from behind, only to turn and find yourself at the edge of a chasm with your feet right up to the edge. So, I sneaked little bits out of my cabinet to grasp a hand here or hush a word there. I became so dependent on whoever it was that it had become more agonizing in my cabinet, alone, then the mystery that was beyond from where the voice permeated. And when I finally got there, I was held for so long and taken below to hide from my nightmares that became a reality as she hushed me, placing my head to the beat of her heart as it roared and scrabbled until explosions quieted it. And I was cleaned of all remnants.

It was Mom.

And she came to take me Home.

To a Family that already Loved me.

***

The man had me playing games, listening, asking questions, typing, reading and so many other things. I didn't like how inquisitive the man was, though I was told that he was a Liekar (Lee-Karr) otherwise known as healer. Mom had said that it was important so that we could go Home, and I really wanted Home. I couldn't remember what it was like, the only things I could recall were the feelings associated with questions I asked myself of Before. Those were very bad feelings that I didn't want, so I figured that whatever was Before, was better missing than here.

When we were done, Mom had a long conversation with him which they thought I couldn't hear from where I was, but I guess they didn't realize just how good my ability was even when he conducted the hearing test. Most I didn't understand, but I was sure I would be able to figure it out by doing some searches online.

When finished, they walked out to where I was seated. I hadn't liked that part because Mom was not in the same room as me, "Come on Sweetie, let's head home to see your brothers; I don't think your father is there yet, though." She put her arm around me as I used our footsteps to get the idea of the building's outline. She put me into her car. It smelled new, and the Liekar wished us well as we drove off.

I had fallen into a doze, fingers in my mouth to bite on, when Mom finally stopped at an incline and turned the car off. She then turned to me, "And here we are! Welcome home!"

I smiled, then listened as a door opened and slammed shut as two sets of feet pounded towards the car, "Is this him! Is he going to be our little brother?" I felt a cold shiver of unease down my spine at the excited voices, especially when one roughly opened the car door on my side, "Aaron! Remember, he just got out of the hospital, and he's blind. I know you're excited and happy he's home, but don't scare him because of it.

"Sorry, Mom," the boy at my door called over the hood, then to me, "Sorry, can I help you out and to the door?"

I put my hand out, and he grasped it, helping me out, "Dad's not home yet, but your room is already set up and we can see if we can get some of the items you had before- ah! But we already got you a new wardrobe since Mom got your sizes."

I still felt weird, listening as both boys talked and led me up to My Room. When I thought of siblings Before, it felt empty and sad, so I didn't think I had any. Another good reason that I didn't remember Before. I figured I just had to get used to Now, and that meant being with my Family.

~~~

And, I enjoyed the time with my two older brothers and Mom. She said that Dad was on a business trip and that we would see him when he came back. I became close with my brothers, who liked to sit smooshed together with me on the couch as they watched and I listened to the shows. We also played games and when they didn't leave for school, they told me it was summer vacation so they didn't have to. We stayed inside, and I didn't mind that at all, because someone was always with me and I didn't mind even when Mom had to leave for a bit.

And then I remembered a Before. I felt the Fear from what was Before, and it was a voice that Mom greeted. I wondered if it was another Nightmare, because sometimes it was hard to separate the voices of the Real from the voices of the Dream when I was napping. And this one spoke of-

"-drugs."

His voice hit my skull sharply.

"-Be please-"

Mom murmured assurances in a soft tone.

"Boss will-"

Her tone took on a playful yet serious lilt.

"-our agreement-"

She agreed, mentioning a trip

"When?"

I listened, confused whether this was real, when all of a sudden I fell from bed as my head shattered from the sheer volume of the music playing from one of my bother's rooms. I scrambled up, banging into the small bedside table, hands out in front of me as I dragged my hands through the emptiness, feeling for a wall. Reaching it, I slid along to where the door should be by counting steps and staggered out to pound on the door, "Turn it DOWN, Aaron!"

The door opened quickly after the music was turned down a bit, but still made it almost impossible to hear anything else, "Oh, hey! Sorry about that, I forgot again how sensitive you were even with soundproofing."

"Yeah, this is becoming a habit, huh?" I smiled, though I wanted to wince at the pain the sounds were giving me. Everything was always confusing me. How did I deal with it Before?

"Sorry," The apology sounded like he might have been blushing. "But, good news! Here!"

Suddenly, the world around me became more bearable as some headset covered my ears, "Noise cancelling headphones!"

"You don't need to yell, I think I'll still be able to hear you well enough even with them on."

There was a pause, to which I tilted my head in question, wondering whether he wasn't saying anything, or if the headphones worked just that well, "Hahaha! Right, right. Sorry again about the noise. Do you know if Mom is home?"

I thought for a moment, wondering about whether what I heard before was Dream or not, "I don't know, sorry, Aaron."

"No, that's okay! That's great even!" I could feel a frown on my face forming in response as he added, "If she isn't, that means I won't get in trouble for scaring you with my loud music again!"

We both laughed, and I declined his offer to come in. As I walked back to my room, I tilted my head once more in thought, then shook it off like cobwebs. The headphones? They were from Before.