《Haikyuu Text Messages》83. Sakuatsu

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Sakusa Kiyoomi x Miya Atsumu

None

Mentions of intrusive thoughts

Post-timeskip

None

hey atsu

Hey Omi :D

is everything alright?

i need to tell you sth

and i'll understand if you want to break up with me after this

but i haven't told anyone and it's been eating me up and i'm scared that the people i love will push me away or see me differently and i think i've known it for a while but today i went to the psychologist and they confirmed it and actually saying it out scares the shit out of me and i know i'm rambling but i'm really scared that you'll leave me but i don't know what to do without you bcs ily and

fuck i was going to delete half of that before sending it

woah

baby calm down

it's okay

i won't leave you no matter what :)

i have severe ocd

i got the diagnosis today

oh.

i don't have much information on ocd

can you explain it for me pls?

it's ok if u don't want to

i can just look it up online

i just know that it can vary from person to person so..

it's more in the area of cleanliness, tidiness and intrusive thoughts

intrusive thoughts?

how so?

um.. basically my brain likes to imagine disturbing scenarios

they can vary.. like sometimes my brain just goes "did the ceiling just creak? imagine what it would feel like if it fell on top of you" and continues to imagine the ceiling falling over me for 15-20 times

that's awful, love.

and sometimes my brain thinks of disturbing sexual thoughts that are personally unacceptable

like in the middle of an exam

but it's not like horny

and more like my brain trying to annoy me

and i can't get it out of my head

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and then there's cleanliness

i'm sure you already know about my mysophobia

ofc i do love

and then there's the routines

like my going to school routine

if i don't go to school on time it causes me great anxiety

or like i have to push my chair all the way into my desk or sth bad will happen

....yeah

so if you want to break up with me, i totally understand

are you kidding me?

ofc i won't break up with u omi :)

ily

you do?

yup!!

oh...

i would've said "it's ok if you're not ready to say it back" but considering that u said it before me (in your vent paragraph), it's not that

what's up love?

i just... never though that someone could really love me

i mean... i've had boyfriends before (2) but one of them broke up with me because of my mysophobia and the other said that he "only wanted to touch the untouchable"

so.. ig i just didn't think you would actually love me

tho i should've expected it, considering that you gave me all the space i needed without seeming offended in any way :)

omi, baby, i'm sorry but your exes were pieces of shit

i love you

i love you too

but are you sure you don't want to break up with me?

i'll totally understand if so

being with a mentally ill person must be tough

you should know that

huh?

babe i have adhd

HUH?

I THOUGHT YOU KNEW?

NO??!?!!??!?!

OMI ASJKDHASDKAJSD

JSDASKJHASDKJASHD

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