I loathe the feeling of being infatuated. It's the equivalent of backing out of a duel and offering to solve the conflict with a hug. It's useless, cowardly, and will get you stabbed.

I am Noah Sterecra, however, and have an IQ higher than that of anyone in my school, including the teachers, but I am still a teenager. And that, by default, makes me dumb and naive. I, like every one of my peers, think with my heart as opposed to my brain. More realistically, us teens think with our genitals, but I have enough of an ego not to admit to that.

I am fully aware that everything involving Cody was a mistake I had swore myself not to make. But now that it's over, I've come to the decision that it would be a waste of my prodigious brain to sulk over the fallout.

However, it's a lot harder to get over him instantaneously with him still being my roommate. I find myself forgetting that I'm angry with him at times, and to control myself, I had to do exactly what I was hoping I wouldn't have to do.

Become closer with the other contestants.

There aren't very many tolerable options. There's Ezekiel. I hardly think he'll be my new friend. Eva and Bridgette? Nope.

Trent and Tyler are pretty much the only tolerable options. And after my conversation with Nutball, I don't really feel resentment towards him anymore.

So I made the first move, in a platonic way of course.

Trent was sitting in the lobby plucking chords on his guitar. The TV across from him was playing a Brazilian soccer game on mute. He was the only one in the lobby at that moment, so there really wasn't a better time.

I took a deep breath.

Just keep the sarcasm under control.

"Hey Trent, whatcha playin?"

He looked up from his instrument. His right hand had stopped strumming, but his other hand was still making the fingerings for the chord. Interesting.

"I'm trying to get the chords to Love Potion No. 9" he replied, giving that classic, sexy smirk.

Love Potion No. 9? Go figure.

"Well, that's cool" I said, trying to sound sincere. He nodded in response. He put his guitar down next to the chair he was sat in.

"So I saw you and Cody moved back in together. Everything okay now?"

When Trent says things like this - when he acts so mature, he's extremely hot. It makes it easy to shake the whole insane thing away.

"Um, it's complicated"

He nodded again. How can he act so cool after going all psycho on Gwen. On international television.

"Trent, dude, would it be okay if I spent a few nights with you and Tyler?"

"So I guess there's still tension between you and the Code-miester?"

I shrugged, mostly because I didn't want him to ask questions.

"Yeah it's chill. It'll be a good time"

I smiled slightly.

"Thanks, I'll go get my crap"

------

Cody was in the room watching the Food Network. Without saying a word, I started collecting all my books, which were lying around in the places I had left them over the last few weeks. Cody must've been paying attention to what I was doing.

"Are you moving out?"

He sounded slightly sad.

"Temporarily. I need some time away from you Cody"

His bottom lip began trembling. Shit, I didn't want to make him cry again.

"Can't we please just talk about this please?" he stuttered. There was colour forming on his freckled face.

"I'll be back when I'm ready"

I didn't want to see his face after I said that, so I left.

Honestly, I'm not mad at Cody, or even mildly upset with him. But I made a deal with my own mind that I cannot fall in love. I need to recover from the mistake I made at the Playa.

So I moved into Trent and Tyler's room. Trent had found a mattress to put on the floor between their two beds so I'd be more comfortable. I insisted it wasn't necessary, but only because that's the conventional thing to do. In all honesty, I would loathe to sleep on the floor, so I appreciated it.

The room is completely identical to the one I had shared with Cody, except for the masses of Trent and Tyler's things everywhere. The room was fairly messy, which bothers me slightly, but it's better than being trapped in a hotel room with your ex-boyfriend.

So I spent the next few nights staying up late with my new roommates. We played a lot of those tacky, middle-school sleepover games, such as Never Have I Ever, Truth or Dare, and Twenty Questions.

"Never have I ever..."

The gears in Tyler's brain were turning pretty hard. Is it that hard to think of something you've never done?

"Never have I ever gone fishing" he finally finished, looking proud of himself. Both Trent and I put a finger down, leaving him with two, and myself with three. Trent's turn.

"Never have I ever...been to a party" he said.

Honestly, I'm surprised Trent, as cool as he is, has never attended any sort of party.

"Hold on," Tyler interrupted, "does that include birthday parties?"

Trent shrugged.

"I'm gonna say no"

I was the only one who put a finger down. Tyler, I'll believe he never went to a party, but Trent? He's hot, he's cool. Even I've gone to a few parties, albeit I didn't really enjoy it.

"Noah's turn" Tyler laughed, after taking a drink of what I think is lemonade.

"Okay, never have I ever..."

I was inturrupted by a knock on the door.

"I'll get it" said Trent, jumping up from his little campout on the floor. By floor, I mean my bed, but I don't really care enough to keep them off at this point.

I didn't really pay attention to who was at the door until I heard their voice. It was a voice I absolutely loathe.

"Can I speak to you Noah?" The voice rang, sending pins in my spine.

"Yeah whatever"

I got up, and I followed our intruder to the conference room, which I suppose has turned into the room of miserable conversations.

And now we were alone. Me and Gwen.

-----

"I don't know what you did to Cody, but I can hear him sobbing from all the way down the hall, and Geoff told me it was your fault, so you need to fix it"

What an ass. A selfish ass. Cody clearly miserable and all she cares about is how annoying his sobs are?

"Like you treated him better" I shot back, refusing to look anywhere but her pale, flakey face. It's an intimidation method.

"It's not like I gave him any hope. You strung him along and dumped him in the trash" she scoffed.

"Y'know, he and I were working out perfectly fine, but because you're such a manipulative tart, he is still holding on to this idea of you!" I was screaming at this point, but I didn't care. "And since you're so concerned about his well-being, how about you go in there and give him some more false hope. He'd appreciate that more than seeing me!"

Gwen, to my surprise and utter disgust, smirked.

"A manipulative tart, huh?"

I rolled my eyes.

"I'm sure you've been called worse" I spat.

"You're right. Well I'm gonna go, because I'm clearly not getting anywhere here, so enjoy your little sleepover"

"And you enjoy being hated internationally for doing what you did to an innocent guy"

Gwen stopped in her tracks, which were previously heading towards the door.

"Trent is fucking pyscho, I had no choice"

I shook my head.

"You're wrong about that," I stated boldly, "he was just under the reign of terror that is Gwenivere Ingrid"

She started to leave again.

"Kiss my ass" she murmured on her way out.

"You have enough people doing that already" I countered.

I was worn sick from that argument. When I got back to the room, Trent had the TV on to MTV, and Tyler was in the bathroom.

"That was brutal" Trent commented without turning away from the TV.

"You always seem to overhear my fights, don't you?"

This time he looked over at me and shrugged.

"Last time was an accident, this time, I was eavesdropping" he chuckled.

I rolled my eyes again and collapsed on Tyler's messy, unmade bed.

"By the way Noah, thanks for standing up for me"

"No problem" I said, my voice muffled by the bedsheets.

Tyler came out of the bathroom, drying his hands on his meshy basketball shorts.

"Wanna finish the game"

I certainly did not.

"I don't think now's the best time Ty" Trent said lightly.

I sat up, and looked at the guys.

"This show sucks"

They both nodded.

"Wanna do something bold, dangerous, and possibly illegal?" Trent asked coyly.

"That's a very Duncan thing to say dude" Tyler laughed.

I rolled my eyes yet again.

"And what is this illegal danger thing?"

"Let's sneak out of the motel, just us three. For a few hours maybe"

Trent's proposition held a lot of complications. He described, in detail, how we're all going to sneak through the skylight in the pool, and go into town for a day.

Now, I'm a good boy. I am not a person who likes to break rules. But leaving the grungy motel appealed to me more than anything else.

"Yeah, great idea and all, but how are we supposed to do that and not get caught by anyone inside or outside the building"

Trent had an answer to this too.

"We get one of the other losers to cover for us for the day, just like give an excuse why we are 'locked in the room', and we just go out on the town"

The plan is idiotic, but in a genius way. And frankly, I'd eat up an opportunity to escape the soul-destroying hell McClean stuck us in. Of course, I'm not one for sneaking out. I know it's a classic teenager move, but I have never even attempted it.

"When is it you want this to happen?" I asked Trent, who was turning off the TV.

"I don't know, maybe the next filming day?"

Tyler and I both shrugged. It's a plan that is pretty much guaranteed to work, but if we were caught, we'd be in massive trouble.

"Aren't we like, not supposed to reveal the elimination order?" Asked Tyler.

"Yeah, but that only affects dear Trent"

Trent just shrugged. I guess he's one of those cool, rule-breaker, types. Hot.

"Let's do it two days from tonight, cool?"

Tyler nodded, I half-heartedly shrugged. I have no idea what's outside our motel, so for all we know, is sneaking out could be pointless, but it's worth a shot. Plus, the longer I can get away from Cody, the better chance I have of recovering our friendship.

---------

As boring as the lobby generally is, especially for an introvert who doesn't take much interest in social activities, the kitchen is a saving grace for all of us teens. It's constantly stocked with the essential junk foods, breakfast items, and baking materials that every teenager needs to be decently satisfied.

Every couple of nights, one of us (usually Tyler), gets a bunch of crap to keep in the room. Somehow, I got nominated tonight, so I got the usuals. Mountain Dew for me, Pepsi for Trent, Sprite for Tyler, cheetos, doritos, red licorice, and popcorn. Healthy, I know. But it's been our diet thus far into season 2, and none of us are dead yet, so whatever.

I brought the stache back to the room, where Trent and Tyler were chatting , waiting for me to come back so we could begin our game of Fuck, Marry, Kill.

"Alright, I got your crap, so I'm not going first"

I dropped everything on the nightstand and sat down beside Tyler.

"Alright, I'll go," Trent volunteered, "Noah, you have Geoff, DJ, and Justin"

Easy.

"Fuck Geoff, Marry DJ, Kill Justin. Geoff's the hottest, but not someone I'd want to be with forever. DJ is a great cook, so I'd want to marry him, and Justin's worthless to me"

The other two nodded in response.

"Okay, Tyler. I'm giving you Duncan, Eva, and Owen" I said, snickering.

"Man, all dudes?" he whined.

I guess Eva can count as a dude.

"Kill Duncan...marry Eva...oh wait she's a chick! Bang Ev...nevermind,marry Eva, bang Owen"

"You're going to bang Owen?" I laughed. Tyler rolled his eyes.

"He's the least likely to kill me in the process, just saying"

By now, we were all on the floor sitting in a little circle on top of my mattress.

"So you'd bang a dude over a chick, huh?" Trent teased. But hey, I don't want to bang any chicks, let alone Eva.

"It's Eva, she hardly counts anyway"

Trent rolled his eyes and grinned.

"Whatever bruh, your go"

I momentarily lost focus on the game, because outside the room in the hallway, I could hear a conversation going on between Gwen and who I'm pretty sure is Bridgette. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but it didn't sound friendly.

I had to hear what was going on. I eat up Gwen drama.

"Hold up, shut it for a second" I murmured to Trent, who was deciding whether he wanted to smash Izzy or Katie.

I crept over to the door and put my ear up to the cold, plasticy wood.

"Y'know, you were a lot nicer on the show. Nicer AND faker" I heard Bridgette say.

Gwen scoffed, I think.

"I didn't do anything to you, Malibu Barbie" Gwen scowled.

"Maybe not, but I heard you yelling at Cody about Noah, and that's not your business!"

"We're on TV, everything is everyone's business!"

Both Gwen and Bridgette were getting angry. I had to give props to Bridgette for sticking it to Gwen. Trent and Tyler were looking at me as if to ask what was going on. I held my index finger up to indicate I'd tell them in a moment.

"You're the reason those two broke up, and you just went in and made Cody more upset? And now you're going to knock on that door and pick a fight with Noah, aren't you?"

I heard Gwen let out a sigh. It wasn't a defeated sigh, just an irritated one.

"He already yelled at me, I'm here for Trent"

"Just leave everyone alone Gwen, we all thought you were nicer than this, especially Trent"

There was silence. And then a knock on the door. I walked over to Trent and bent down.

"I have a feeling it's for you" I said quietly, sitting down in my spot and taking a drink of Mountain Dew. Drama does make one thirsty.

Trent opened the door to Gwen, who's pale face was reddened with anger.

"What's up Gwen" he said cooly. His relaxed tone seemed to come to a surprise to her.

"I just wanted to make sure you're doing okay" she said, her voice cracking a little on 'doing'.

Trent turned his head and looked at me confused. I gave him the "she's lying" look as subtly as possible.

"Well that's sweet. I'm doing good, just chilling with Tyler and Noah, playing some games. Care to join?"

His invitation caught her off guard. I could tell by the way he asked, he knew she would decline, or at least get the hint that he was messing with her.

"I better not. See you around guys"

She slammed the door as Trent went to shut it, but he just laughed.

"Man she's high maintenance. We gotta bail tomorrow dudes, we get out of the motel tomorrow night?"

"Sounds okay" Tyler agreed.

I nodded. I need the break away from all of this. I just want to go home and do normal teenage things like science fair and video games and watching movies with friends. I feel like I'm on some sort of spinning teacup ride. Goes around and around in two different directions, and it makes me want to puke.

"Alright Trent, I believe it's your turn to ask me" I said, trying to break the weird atmosphere that was hanging around the room.

"Okay, how about Bridgette, Beth, and Izzy?"

"Man, all chicks!" I said, mocking Tyler. He chuckled at my imitation. Tyler's not so bad.

"Marry Bridgette. If I had to pick a girl, it would be her. Smash Izzy. Sorry Beth" I laughed. Trent and Tyler did too.

"Rest in peace Beth" Trent joked, causing whatever odd tension there was before to be broken.

"Speaking of Beth, she's doing pretty solid in the competition so far" Trent mused, propping himself against the side of his bed.

"No kidding. So is my Linds"

I shrugged.

"I guess you're right. And I have a feeling Heather's not going to be around much longer. It's like she lost her game when she lost her hair"

Unfortunately for Heather, my statement seemed to be true. I've noticed her lack of competitiveness since the beginning of Total Drama Action, and it makes me wonder if it has something to do with the lack of confidence that comes with being bald. It's almost like her hair represented the character she was last season, and without it, her game is off. But perhaps it's only because some of the other players are becoming such powerhouses. Justin, Courtney, Beth, LeShawna, and Duncan are doing pretty well. Justin especially surprised me, since he was such an underdog last season.

Our conversation about the current season went on until Tyler passed out from what I'm mostly sure was just exhaustion. Trent and I decided to hit the hay as well. I slept in Tyler's bed since he was comatose on my mattress.

"Hey Trent?" I half-whispered.

"What's up?"

"Are you okay? I mean with the Gwen thing?"

It was dark so I couldn't see his expression.

"Honestly? Yes, I feel free. I feel...as if I've been handed a flashlight in the middle of a dark tunnel"

"Odd analogy, but okay. Night dude"

"G'night Noah"