"The first rule of dodgeball is..."

I kept a straight face and spat "Don't talk about dodgeball?"

Everyone around me laughed. Owen must've found it especially funny, because he erupted so hard he nearly shit his pants. Anyway, dodgeball was not something I was into. I can debate the pants off anyone, I can run an entire school election and office, but dodgeball? Nu uh honey. Not happening. Noah don't do dogdeball, or any sports for that matter.

"Anyone wanna volunteer to sit out with sleeping beauty on the bench?" Heather bossed. I had to take this opportunity.

"Fine!" I smirked "I'll do it"

I sat down on the bench next to a very tired Gwen and opened one of my few precious unread books. Thus, I have no idea what is happening on the court. But they didn't need to know that, so I made crude, mostly sarcastic attempts to look like I was paying attention.

"Knock em out, throw em out, rah rah" I half-heartedly chant, not once looking up from the book. This earned me a nice dodgeball to the face, by an unknown member of my team. Probably Gwen or Heather. Both those girls are Grade-A bitches, so I guess it doesn't matter which one it was. I sent my glare in the general direction of my team and continued to read, doing my best to ignore the whole sports commotion going on.

------------

So turns out my oh-so lucky team lost the challenge so we get to go down to the fire and get rid of someone. My vote is on Lindsay. I swear I lose a brain cell every time I talk to that blond rock.

Yeah, well the rest of my lovely team decided I was the expendable one. As if.

"You just voted off the only one with any brains around here" I shrugged. Chef Hatchet, the guy making all these Grade-A meals around here, dumped my two bags at the end of the dock. It probably would be easier for me to leave this dump if I wasn't getting pelted with marshmallows. Good job guys, marshmallows, real painful I assure you. I get on the motor boat as unenthusiasticly as I did when I got here, and let the piece of junk take me who knows where.

As much as I hope that I'm being zoomed off to the nearest airport so I can go home where there is solitude, cable TV, digestible meals, and unlimited books, of course I'm taken to an island that's decked out in fake-ass palm trees and such.

Turns out this is where Mr. Haircut sends the losers after they're gone. Admittedly, it's a step up from "trashy summer camp", but it's not quite "vacation resort".

Once I'm checked into a room, I get to have my own piece and quiet, which is a luxury I haven't had since I sold my soul to reality TV.

The rooms were acceptable for my own pretentious needs. There were two rooms in it. A living room, that was empty with the exception of a television hooked to the wall, a couch opposite the TV, and a desk table next to that.

In the bedroom, there was a nice beach house style bed with a night table beside it, and a shorter table at the end of the bed.

I put my suitcases on the shorter table and immediately went to hunt down the bathrooms.

Lucky for me, the bathrooms were as communal as they were back on the island, except these ones are actually clean. Connected to them was a shower house with nothing but a ugly green curtain separating the outside world with one's naked body.

After I did my business, I went back to my room and turned on the TV. And you know what I saw?

The freaking promos for Total Drama Island, like it was the first thing I wanted to see now that I'm off that sucky island. Nu-uh honey, not today.

Of course I watched it anyway like the diva I am who soaks in reality TV like a sponge. It's my guilty pleasure.

The first episode hasn't aired yet, so the viewing world gets an extra few weeks before they know what damage has been done to their favorite campers.

After I was thoroughly informed about what I had already first-handedly experienced anyway, I ended watching a show about dudes turning people's cars into pimped out cruisers. After I lost interest in that, I ended up cracking one of my unread books open. It wasn't going to be long until I've read them, so hopefully I can distract myself with other things.

--------

I wake up with my open book toppled on the floor, and my scrawny body sprawled across the sofa. As great as these rooms were, Chris must've been too cheap to get any sort of clock in the room, and since we weren't allowed our cell phones, I had to go on an expedition to find the time.

I found my way to a room that served as both a kitchen, and what looked like a juice bar or something. The time on the stove read ten past nine, so I wasn't asleep that long. I arrived at "Playa des Losers" or whatever Chris wanted to call it at about 7:30 tonight, and I've already completely bore myself.

I heard some shouting down the hall, so out of more boredom than actual curiosity, I followed the hallway to what I assume was a den due to the giant TV and abundance of couches and tables. There was even an open fire pit in the corner lighting the room.

The shouting had come from Eva yelling at another kid with scruffy hair and a thick Canadian accent. I think his name was like Ezekiel or Malachi or something like that.

Anyway, the other kid looked like his life was flashing before his eyes, as he cowards down beneath a raging Eva. And upon this discovery, it came to me that they were the only other former campers here.

Before either of them noticed I was there, I slithered away back to the kitchen, grabbing myself a bag of tortilla chips before hauling ass back to my own room.

--------

The next week of my life usually went read, eat, shower, watch TV, read, nap, eat, watch TV, read, sleep. It was a pretty friendly schedule that was undisturbed with the exception of an outburst from Eva followed by terrified shrieks from the other kid.

The only exciting thing that happened was the arrival of Chris's weekly reject, which happened to be Justin. Even though he and I were previously on the same team, neither of us exchanged any interactions with the exception of an occasional head nod when passing each other awkwardly in the bathroom.

And it continued that way through the next week when the next contestant was brought back, and even the one after that.

There were now six teenagers living in Playa des Losers together, consisting of myself, Justin, Eva, Ezekiel, an accident-prone bloke named Tyler, and a sobbing girl which, if I can remember right, was separated from her squealing soul-mate that was twice her size.

I made very few attempts to bond with the others. When I did get out of my room for occasions other than eating or doing my business, I spent time by the heavily chlorinated pool, reading peacefully. Of course, this peace was usually disturbed within twenty minutes by Eva and Tyler having some sort of one-sided competition. These competitions almost always end up with Tyler being twisted around like a pretzel. Poor guy. If I remember right, he was the dude that Lindsay had been fawning over, so I feel even more bad that je has to deal with that. But I guess some guys are into all boobs, no brains.

Personally I like it no boobs, lots of brains, and male. But that's just my gay ass speaking.

--------

Two weeks later Izzy and Cody have been eliminated. Izzy never came to the loser house, and Cody has been in the infirmary upstairs the whole time due to a bear attack, so things aren't that different. Now that Total Drama started airing on TV, I set time out of my week to watch it, even though I already know what happens and who is eliminated.

And now I'm down to my last precious book, so I'm saving it for a time of extreme boredom. I've managed to bring myself down the hall to the public den a few times, but often I leave once Eva gets all riled up. Katie spends most her time making heart eyes at Justin, and Ezekiel is usually in his room doing who knows what. And in a time where there was nothing good on TV, and no one else to visit with, I dragged myself to the third floor to give a visit to poor Cody.

"Hey dude" I say softly as I open the door to the infirmary. He managed to croak out a 'hi' as I walk across the tiny room. The kid was propped up with several pillows in a typical looking hospital bed, covered in probably more bandages necessary. I pull over a plastic folding chair to his right side, and sit down casually.

Cody's caramel hair was matted down with the island's grime and his own sweat. His whole body reeked of sweat and blood, and just camp in general.

"Cody, dude you smell like Chef's cooking" I commented. The boy's eyes turned towards mine.

"Thanks Noah, that's one way to bring up my self-confidence" he managed, a smile creeping up on his crooked little mouth. He appeared so innocent, it was odd to hear him speak in sarcasm.

"Gwen tell you the same thing?" I asked snidely. I should've felt guilty, since the guy is maimed and all, but he just laughed.

"Nah, she hasn't even noticed me since I set her up with Trent" he chuckled, but I could still see a flicker of sadness in his aqua eyes.

"I'd say I'm sorry, but it sounds like you brought it upon yourself" I say with a straight face. Cody brings his hand up to adjust one of his bandages.

"Not like she was going to get with me anyway. Might as well let one of us be happy" he said, the sadness in his eyes growing larger. I placed a sympathetic pat on his greasy hair, carful not to hurt him anymore than he already was.

"Okay, you seriously need a bath" I said in the most friendly way possible. Cody lifted his head a little.

"I would, except I have a few minor injuries weighing me down"

"Do you want help?" I offered nonchalantly.

"That'd be awesome actually" he said, his voice cracking. I carefully helped him sit up and turn him so his scratched up legs swung over the side of the bed. He was wearing a loose pair of basketball shorts that brushed his boney knees. He wasn't wearing a shirt, but his entire torso was wrapped in baby blue bandages.

Careful not to put any pressure on his chest, and not make it weird since we aren't exactly that close, I helped him stand up, and make his way to the little bathroom in the infirmary.

"You don't need help getting undressed do you?" I questioned him skeptically. He gave a small laugh.

"No, I think I can manage, but can you help me take my bandages off?"

I found the end of the blue bandage, and unraveled it slowly around his body. It made a faint ripping noise every time I unwrapped it across his scars, making him wince.

Once it was off, I got a good look at his scar. It was red, scabbed over, and a little puffy. It was an odd contradiction to Cody's innocent appearance, which made it fascinating.

Cody must've thought the same thing, because he looked delighted to see such a scar lying on his chest.

"It looks awesome!" He mused as I ran water through the bathtub faucet, trying to get it a comfortable temperature so it wouldn't sting his scar.

As soon as I turned off the water I gave him a small pat on his boney shoulder.

"Will you wait for me?" He asked, his eyes wide like a puppy's. I smirked and nodded.

"Sure kid, enjoy your bath"

I shut the door and went to sit on my chair by his now empty bed. I resorted to rereading one of the books I have already finished. I was interrupted with a small scream from the bathroom. I smirked knowing that brave little Cody just got his swollen wound wet.

And thus, I read my book, and waited for the dude to clean off weeks of camp off his wounded body. But something was bothering me about the affect Cody had on my usually quite snobbish attitude, but I just couldn't sort it out. So I ignored it.