《HELPLINE》ONE
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O N E // I S A A C
This cereal, I have decided, does not have nearly enough raisins in it.
Not that I like raisins. Who likes raisins?
But as a diligent customer, I cannot help but notice that the raisin to walnut ratio in my raisin and walnut cereal is extremely unequal. If we're talking percentages, I'd say it's thirty percent walnut and seventy percent raisin.
And, to reiterate my former point, who likes raisins?
Sighing, I swivelled the box round, my eyes scanning the words printed on it in the company's customary orange print.
And then, at the bottom:
Comments? Questions? Call the helpline below:
0800 9876 534
Open from 8a.m to 8.p.m weekdays and 10p.m to 5p.m weekends.
I read it through a few times, deep in thought. Did anyone ever call these things? I mean, I was lonely - but not that lonely.
Wasn't I?
Nobody will judge you, Isaac, I told myself. Mainly because there was nobody left to judge me; my parents were off on some Spanish cruise, my sister had moved to London, and Stefani-Beyoncé, my cat, had died a couple of weeks previously.
It's still a sore subject.
My hand dances over the phone in my pocket, only to stop suddenly. Don't be pathetic, I chide myself.
But I'm so alone, the other part of me says.
Before I can stop myself, I've pulled the phone out of my pocket, stabbed the number in, and been answered.
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