《Jacob Black's Imprint》11. Her Back
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Katie's POV:
I took off through the trees, not stopping when they shouted after me. Not stopping when my bare feet were ripped open from the ground, not stopping when the wind kissed my exposed stomach. I ran through the pain, hoping desperately to outrun the nightmares and shadows clawing at the back of my mind, begging to be let free.
I made it to my favorite cliff overlooking the ocean. The wind was laced with the scent of the sea. I sat down hard and curled my head over my bent knees. Oh course he found me. I would never, never, be rid of him, or my past. And now that my new family had seen, now that everyone I cared about had seen, I had nothing left here, nothing left at all. Who would want me now? Who would want someone as ruined as me? Why did I even think I could start over?
A choked sound came out of me as I clamped down on a sob building in me. No tears Katie, no tears. There's no one who would even care anyway. I though to myself. My body was so tense I thought I would snap.
The fragile, new, life I had built here. All the careful lies, careful love I had discovered. All of it comes crashing down just because that bastard I have to call father decided to show up. I clamped down on another sob, as I tried to take deep breaths, tried to reorder my mind. But my lungs refused to take more than pathetic little gasps, my mind refused to calm down.
And then I heard careful footsteps behind me. I already knew who it was, I had spent months with this person who had slowly started to piece my broken heart and soul back together. Jacob cleared his throat as he took another step forward and I heard his breath catch as he took in my ruined back. Curled up as I was, the whole expanse of my scarred back was on full display.
I knew from the moment that man stepped out of the car that something was wrong. While Charlie and Bella were all smiles, Katie face had turned so, so pale. Her hands reached out to grab my arm and I could feel her fear roil up inside her through the imprint bond. Felt her hands start to shake and her heart start to race as the man stepped closer. I took a protective step in front of her. I wondered if she knew just how small she looked right then. Her shoulders curved inward as if she was trying to disappear. This beautiful, strong, confident, sarcastic, athletic girl, now looked small, nervous, and so, so scared.
But then it all happened. So fast my mind could barely register it. This man was her father yet she was terrified of him. The thing that brought me back was the feeling of Katie being ripped away from me. I growled and felt myself start to tremble with the need to phase, but I held it back. Then this horrible man, Katie's father, raised her shirt and showed us her back.
The utter fear and dread coursing through Katie through the bond and written all across her face, hit me worse than any physical blow. All my instincts were going crazy trying to get to her to end the source of her fear and pain.
Then I saw her back and I couldn't hear over the roaring in my ears and in my head. Couldn't see over the red washing my vision. This man, had hurt my imprint. Her father had hurt her, probably her whole life.
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A savage snarl rang out from me and my brothers and sister. Charlie and Bella looked shocked and horrified, but my pack was simply enraged. Katie was apart of our family and this man had hurt her physically, mentally, and probably emotionally.
Before we could get Katie back, she twisted out of her fathers grip and raced off into the woods, without a single glance back. She disappeared into into the shadows as the woods swallowed her, no more than a wraith.
We all turned back to her father and Charlie opened his mouth to say something to do with the horror all across his face. But before he had the chance to my fist slammed into Katie's fathers face.
I relished the feel of his jaw cracking under my hand, even enjoyed the feeling of my skin splitting as it connecting. Then Leah, Embry, Quill, and Paul were there. Landing blows left and right while some held him down. Their faces held so much rage that some amount of fear entered his eyes. My satisfaction was short lived as I felt a sharp stab of pure sadness down the bond. Paul made eye contact with me, his knuckles bloodied and face contorted with rage. He nodded and gestured with his head to the woods.
My heart swelled as I realized my pack, my friends, my family was so enraged because they too loved Katie. They didn't love her simply because she was my imprint, but because she was their friends too, she spent time with all of them and worked herself into the hearts of everyone in the pack. So giving Paul a grim smile and nod of thanks I took of through the woods, not even needing to follow her scent to know where she would go.
It was one of her favorite spots, a sunny spot atop a cliff, overlooking the ocean, surrounded by the forests. It had little ledges around it that had to be climbed and it was quite a hike in general, so no one besides us really came up here.
I came up on the clearing and as I walked out of the forest I could see her. She was sitting, with her arms pulled around her bent knees. Still shirtless, due to that bastard, and her black sports bra the only thing on her back. And then my eyes focused on it
Her back. It was a map of pain, covered in scars long and short. Some where white with age while some on her back where still red and just healing. Gashes and ragged slices. Scars thick and thin. The pain wasn't just limited to her back, her arms and legs had the marks of abuse as well. Her entire body was shredded with scars.
Suddenly everything clicked into place. All the strange things she did, the way she flinched when someone went to touch her, the way she ducked her head when someone raised their hand. The way she jumped back when someone shouted. The way she knew how to fight. The way she never wanted to be inside. It all slid into place like the final piece of a puzzle.
I couldn't even fathom the horrors she witnessed her whole life, she grew up under and umbrella of abuse and just when she was crawling out of it, he comes back to haunt her. I feel sick, literally sick at the thought of all of it. The blood is rushing to my head and I want to get angry, want to go back and beat that man into a bloody pulp. God, she was just a girl, when he inflicted all this pain on her. But I know she needs me right now, she needs someone, anyone, to help pull her out of this pit he's pushed her into.
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I walked up slowly and cleared my throat so I wouldn't scare her. Her voice was raspy and broken when she answered "I know you're there Jacob." The anger inside me stumbled at that broken voice and I slowly, carefully walk up beside her. What can I even say? Are you okay? Seems like a stupid thing to ask, of course she wasn't okay.
I sat down beside her at a loss for words and hoping that just being here, with her, would help her in some way. Not just because we were connected through the imprint bond, but because she was my friend. Her body was tense, tight like a wire and she was fighting so hard to keep something inside her. As if she let something out, she wouldn't be able stop.
But then she spoke, "I - I just." She choked up and had to restart. "I'll never be free of him. I - I c-can't do this anymore. I just can't." She bowed her head over her knees and gasped for air. Her breaths coming in little pants. And the her tone was so bleak and sorrowful, that my heart broke all over again for her.
Just as I was about to reach for her a whimpering noise came out of her, her lips trembling so hard as she fought to keep the sob inside. And it hurt, it physically hurt me to see her like this. But then she took a breath and it all came tumbling out, her body shaking with the force of it. Her sobs cracked my heart in half and I pulled her into me, let her rest her head on my chest and just held her as she let it all out. She felt so cold, and her hands bunched up in my shirt while her body heaved with the huge, gasping, heartbreaking sobs coming out of her. So I sat there, letting her soak of my warmth and strength for as long as she needed.
After a while her sobs ebbed, trickling into something broken and raw. I ran my hands up and down her back, she flinched hard the first few times I did it, but she relaxed slightly, so I kept holding her tightly to me. Trying to convey to her that she was safe and she could be vulnerable with me. And it occurred to me that this was probably the first time she has let anyone see her so exposed.
When her breaths started coming a little easier she pulled back from me, and not looking me in the eye said "Thank you." I gently tilted her head to look back at me and said softly "Why didn't you tell me?" I didn't want to push her to soon after everything that was she was forced to reveal , but I had to know.
Her eyes were desolate as she laughed without any humor. "And what would I say, Jacob?" I felt the shift in her emotions, and I knew she wasn't mad at me, she just needed and outlet for all these emotions. She turned her arms over, showing the underside that was peppered in faint circular scars all up and down her inside forearm. "How would I tell you that these burns are from when he would put his cigarettes out on me?" She pointed at a horrible deep gash across her lower stomach "How would I explain to you that this scar isn't from appendicitis or any other bullshit excuse. But is actually from where my dad sliced me with a beer bottle shard."
She stood up, turned away and lifted her hands to her head pulling at the roots of her red hair. "Who would want someone as ruined as me? Why should I tell anyone, when the minute I do, they realize the mess I am?" She muttered almost to herself. Her hands tightened in her hair and I stood up and leaned around her, gently pulled her hands from her hair and running my thumbs over the backs of them until they unclenched. "Hey, look at me." I said softly to her, coaxing her to look up with my voice. She tilted her head up, her lips trembling, eyes lined with tears and cheeks flushed from the wind.
I looked deep into her green eyes, we were so close that I could see her eyes aren't actually pure green. They've got a ring of hazel around her pupil and the outside is green. They're mesmerizing.
I moved my hands from her hands to her shoulders, running them up her arms. She shivered, but not from the cold, and my heart soared with how she responded to me.
"You are not ruined. You are not broken. You are whole and beautiful. You are not a monster. You are not the product of his abuse, you are your own person." She closed her eyes as tears spilled down her cheeks, getting caught in her lashes. I raised my hand up to her face to wipe them away, and she didn't flinch. For the first time, she didn't flinch away first.
I wiped away her tears and her eyes opened again as I said "It's not your fault. It's not your fault, Katie." She nodded and shuddered as she opened her eyes and I moved my hands away, her eyes fell on them immediately.
Her demeanor shifted instantly, "Jake what happened to your hand?" She asked in her no nonsense voice, the effect was ruined a bit by her breathlessness and the tear trails still on her face. Oh shit. Maybe this isn't the best time for her to know that I may or may not have broken her fathers jaw and left him to the mercy of a bunch of angry, adolescent, werewolves.
"Uh...nothing" I replied so convincingly as I moved my hand behind my back. I should say tried because Katie's hand reached out and grabbed mine. She sat down while still holding my hand so I had to follow her back onto the grass.
Her brows scrunched up in concentration as she wiped away the blood on my knuckles to show mostly fresh, unscathed skin. There was a pretty deep scab on my index finger knuckle, but that should also go away in about 20 minutes due to werewolf freaky healing. Great. How am I going to explain this?
"I-um, maybe behaved a little poorly when you left..." I trailed off, her hands were warm and solid on mine. She dragged her beautiful eyes up to mine and said "Is he dead?" I swallowed at her intense look and replied "no". She gave me the barest hint of a smirk, just the corner of her mouth twitching up, and a small light igniting in her eye. "Then I say you behaved rather admirably." A low laugh escaped me, so happy to see Katie being able to joke so soon after this.
But her attention went back to my hand in hers. I maneuvered her hand and mine so that they were intertwined and then I gave her a gentle squeeze. "Hey" I said softly, "I'm alright"
She shook her head absentmindedly so I asked her "Do you want to talk about it?" Her gaze lifted to mine and she swallowed, the words stuck in her throat, but I saw the answer screaming out desperately in her eyes: yes.
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