《My World is Drowning [Irondad]》Popsicle [31]
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I walked around the city with Wade, sucking on a popsicle we had bought at a shop nearby. It was pretty nice out, sunny yet still a cool breeze that didn't make to too hot outside. It was hoodie weather, my favorite weather.
I looked over at Wade, to see that he was looking at the ground as he walked, lost in thought. I wondered what he was thinking about, but I knew it was too cheesy to ask. So I left that up to my own imagination as I gazed around at the city.
The sun was starting to set. I knew it'd be dark out soon but I was enjoying the moment too much to say anything. Being in Wade's presence lightened my mood for some reason, so I often cherished the moments we spent together. Is that too cheesy? I have no idea.
A couple of days ago Wade and I went to a psychologist with Tony. The results ended up being that my selective mutism was fading, but I was also prescribed social anxiety pills to help with the process. Wade ended up being diagnosed with BPD, standing for Borderline Personality Disorder. Later I found myself looking it up, only to find that the results matched Wade's strange behavior.
The physical symptoms were compulsive behavior, hostility, impulsive behavior, risk taking decisions, irritability, and lack of restraint. The emotional symptoms matched up as well, including unnecessary anger and mood swings. I guess in the end we should've predicted his diagnosis, since all signs pointed towards it.
Now, since we're both on medications, we should be getting better. I've already noticed a shift in Wade's behavior, even though it's only been a couple of days. Towards me anyways, he's still aggressive with others but I guess we'll have to work on that some other day.
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Along with our psychological results, I also had other things on my mind. Such as what exactly was going on between Wade and I.
It was obvious that there was something holding him back from being with me. Whenever he made a nice or comforting gesture towards me, he'd immediately become upset with himself and then take his anger out on me as a way to make himself feel better. I wasn't really mad at him for it, since he obviously had some mental blockages he still had to get over, but it also made me very confused and left to wonder if it's something I'm doing wrong.
Instead of keeping my thoughts to myself, I decided it was time to finally ask. "How do you feel about me?" I blurted out to Wade out of no where.
It interrupted the comfortable silence between us, and I could visually see Wade being snapped out of his own thoughts and ideas. But he didn't seem to mind too much, and he met my gaze with something in his eyes I've never seen before. Wade opened his mouth to answer my question, but then he hesitated, shutting it and looking back at the ground to recollect his thoughts.
I sighed, taking another lick at my popsicle. I knew it was too much of a loaded question, so I didn't really expect an answer. That's why I was surprised when he answered. "I care about you," He admitted. I looked back over at him in surprise to find that he was still staring at the ground. "And that scares me," He added, running his fingers through his hair.
I bit the inside of my cheek, trying to wonder what he meant by that sentence. I furrowed my eyebrows. "That shouldn't scare you," I informed him in a gentle tone, to let him know that I wasn't trying to be aggressive and it was okay if he was scared.
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Wade just shook his head. "I know... it's just... I've lost so many people that I've become attached to... that my brain is protecting me from becoming attached to anyone else. So I'm not hurt again," He explained slowly, taking his time to think about what he was saying.
I nodded. "That makes sense," I whispered. I stopped in my tracks, making him stop walking too. "Wade, look at me," I ordered. He brought his gaze up from the ground and met me in my eyes. "It's okay that you're scared. I'm willing to wait until you're ready," I told him, caressing his cheek.
Wade snorted. "That's cheesy, Peter Parker," He replied with a smirk.
"Well, it's too late to go back now," I responded, then leaned in and connected my lips with his.
It was probably the cheesiest, yet most real moment of my life. The kiss actually meant something, it was filled with compassion and love, as well as Wade's trust in me. I smiled while we kissed, knowing that Wade was willing to move past his insecurities to be with me.
After a while we finally broke apart. Wade smiled at me, and I smiled back. Then I began to giggle, remembering we were on a sidewalk outside in the middle of New York.
Wade laughed at my giggle. "What?" I asked him innocently.
"You're cute," He commented with a grin, ruffling my hair and then starting to walk again. I followed him. "Does that mean we're dating? That better mean that you're my boyfriend. If you're not my boyfriend, I don't think this story can continue," Wade told me. "The readers would like you to be my boyfriend."
I rolled my eyes. "Yes, I'll be your boyfriend, Jesus. Now can we stop at McDonald's? I'm starving."
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