《My World is Drowning [Irondad]》Long Night [24]
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By night time, I was regretting my decision.
You could hear Tony and Steve arguing. Not only did it keep Wade, Harley, and I up all night, it was also emotionally damaging. It's not like it was just distant shouting, oh no, you could hear every single word. It tore me up inside to hear, I felt so horrible and I'm sure I wasn't the only one.
"SO NOT ONLY WAS I TAKING CARE OF YOU AND MAKING SURE YOU WEREN'T TOO STRESSED, BUT YOU WERE FUCKING STEPHEN BEHIND MY BACK!" I heard Steve yell. He sounded so hurt, his voice was squeaky and had a little whimper to it. It just broke me whenever I heard him shout.
"I know but I never loved Stephen like I love you! I love you Steve," Tony begged. He sounded more scared than sad, his voice cracking like he was about to pee his pants. It was also slightly damaging to hear the hero you've looked up to your whole life just break down.
"IF YOU LOVED ME, YOU WOULDN'T HAVE HAD WANTED A BOYFRIEND ON THE SIDE!" Steve shouted. At this point his yelling was so sad that you'd think he was crying.
I shifted in my bed, trying not to listen. I didn't want to become emotionally involved with a relationship that I had no business in, but at the same time it was hard not to eavesdrop. I looked up and noticed that Wade was sitting up in his top bunk, writing something in his journal. I looked over and saw that Harley was stuffing his face in his pillow, probably attempting to drown out the bickering.
"I know! I messed up badly! But I've already ended things with Stephen, kicked him out even! It's done, Steve!" Tony sounded so desperate. It was the first time I've ever heard him drop his ego, that's for sure.
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"But how do I know you won't do it again?" Steve's voice dropped to a softer, more innocent tone.
At that point I couldn't really take it. I put my earbuds in my ears and turned the volume up high on my iPod, knowing my stupid bellhead would adjust to the volume. I still winced as I did so, but a bit of physical pain made up for the intense guilt I was feeling at the moment.
I stared at the wall, trying to forget about the situation. But it was hard to, since I sort of saw Steve and Tony as my parents. I know it's weird, but it's a sort of thought you can't really get over. Steve has given me many life lesson talks, and Tony has taken me shopping too many times. It's basically drilled into my brain that they're some sort of guardians for me. Now them arguing, it hurt too much.
I sniffled, trying to hold back tears. Don't be a gay bitch, don't be a gay bitch. I couldn't cry in front of Harley and Wade, Wade especially. I was way too proud. I closed my eyes, taking deep breaths. Yet, that was just enough to cause a tear to fall from my eye and run down my cheek.
That's when I felt something wrap around my hand. I looked away from the wall, realizing Wade had moved to the floor next to my bed. He was still writing his journal, seemingly giving me no attention, yet his hand held mine as a comforting gesture just to remind me that he could be a nice person too. I sighed, squeezing his hand in return as a way of thanking him.
Maybe Wade isn't so bad after all.
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