Kate eventually managed to calm herself after the confrontation with Rose and do some paperwork. It took her some breathing exercises and a bar of chocolate, but she managed to be quite productive in spite of the recent events. When she shut down her computer for the evening and was getting ready to leave, she sent Mari a text asking if she would be back the following day.

Stepping out of the hospital, Kate noted that the night air was getting warmer, but still not past the point where she had to wear a jacket on her walk. Summer was drawing closer but still some time off. During her walk flashes of her exchange with Rose replayed in her memory, in spite of her best efforts to block them out with other thoughts. Her phone buzzed in her pocket when she was halfway to her apartment. She pulled it up to check, hoping for a response in Mari's usual lighthearted tone.

"Sorry to let you down. Been riding the vomit comet for the entirety of today. Hoping tomorrow will be better, but can't make any promises.

- Mari"

Kate sighed as she stuffed the phone back in her pocket. Lighthearted; to an extent. The message she had hoped for; no. She would have headed over and used her magic to heal Mari - from a distance of course - but she wasn't familiar with the required type of spell. For all she knew she might end up strengthening whatever bug had infected Mari instead, even dangerously so. No, she would have to prepare to face tomorrow without Mari's aid.

She allowed herself to emit a groan of frustration in response to the situation. Of course, Rose had picked the toughest case of tomorrow to be the target of her observation. After the day's events that wasn't a risk Kate wanted to take, but the patient wasn't one who could wait for long. If he was left to deteriorate Kate would likely be unable to save him even with the use of her magic. Not to say that she could save everyone. Like every other surgeon, she too lost patients. What made this so hard on her was the knowledge that this patient would have a fighting chance if she performed magically assisted surgery tomorrow.

Was throwing away this fighting chance for the sake of her future patients the right thing to do? Rationality said yes, but Kate's conscience kicked and screamed at the notion.

She stuffed her hands into her pockets and sped up her pace.

Once she returned home Kate's first course of action was to throw herself on the couch. She ran her hands through her hair as she began to magically prepare dinner - boiled egg and potatoes. It wasn't a favorite of hers but required minimal effort. She pondered her dilemma as she was cooking, though it resulted in her leaving the eggs for longer than planned. It was with some disgruntlement that she bit into the solid yolk, preferring it slightly runny.

Was there no approach that didn't include sacrificing someone? Kate thought hard about it. In her mind, she ran down the list of surgical colleagues, alongside their qualifications and notable achievements. There were a few who might stand a chance by her estimates, but only barely. She bit her lip. If she could convince one of them to take on the operation in her stead, would she be able to accept the outcome? In the end, she figured that she probably could. While the patient might not get the benefit of her magic, they'd at least have a chance without her throwing away the well-being of all her future patients.

Arranging for a different surgeon to take the case on such short notice wouldn't be the easiest matter, but she resolved to give it a try.

Several calls later she lay on the couch, groaning in frustration. One of her candidates had already been fully booked with time-critical cases, and the others refused to take the case on different grounds. Her options had been reduced to taking the risk or canceling the case.

She was going to have to cancel.

As she reached for her phone once more, an image of the patient and his family flashed before her mind's eye. Four kids, the youngest of which had just started preschool recently. A wife who still seemed very much in love with her husband in spite of their many years of marriage. The nervous way the two oldest ones regarded Kate each time she walked into the room. His weak yet hopeful smile. It was practically like a scene in a cliched movie, save for the fact that these people were real.

A necessary sacrifice for the many that came after? She punched a pillow in frustration. It was a different matter if she tried and failed. She rolled onto her back and inhaled deeply. Should she call her dads? She hugged the pillow to her chest. No. One handled garbage for a living and the other flowers. Though she knew they would try, there was no way they could relate to her situation. Not like she could have told them about the part of her dilemma that involved magic either.

She sighed deeply and cursed herself for being so softhearted. Though the sensible answer appeared self-evident, there was no way she could go through with it and live with herself after the fact. The rest of the evening was spent rehearsing answers for the event that Rose saw her magic again. The problem was the responses hardly sounded convincing even to Kate herself. At some point she decided that enough was enough and went to bed where she fell into an uneasy sleep.

Even in her dreams, Rose kept pestering her for an explanation. Kate tried and failed, her mouth opening but refusing to produce any sound at all.