Marcus isn't okay. He keeps telling me he's okay but I caught him crying in the bathroom the night it happened. After the doctor told us Danielle had died, we all cried until we could go see her. She was so pale and there was still dried blood on her face. Marcus broke down completely and I had to take him outside. It was even worse when his parents showed up and started blaming him again. We left the hospital before anything got nasty. We dropped Lacey off at home and came back to the club.

Marcus went straight to bed without dinner and me an Cole joined him. None of us felt like eating anyways. Marcus and Cole cried themselves to sleep while cuddling into me. I tried so hard not to cry because I need to be strong for my boyfriends.

Now it's Saturday and the funeral is today. It's only small and Marcus' dad didn't want to invite us but his mum said we had to be invited. We're all dressed and waiting for Lacey and Thomas to get here but Marcus isn't looking good. His hair isn't as neat as it usually is and his tie isn't tied very well. He's spaced out and staring at the cabinet we keep alcohol in. Not that we keep much because Marcus doesn't like alcohol in the house. Cole also seems to catch Marcus staring and he looks at me uneasy.

"You're not drinking anything Marcus," I say and he quickly looks at me.

"I wasn't going to," he grumbles. I know about his slight alcohol problem. He's always kept it in check before it got dangerous but I'm concerned about him right now. I'll ask Thomas to take the bottles to his place.

"You can talk to us, Marcus," Cole says gently.

"I'm okay. I'm dealing with my grief in my own way," he answers but even I can see he doesn't believe what he's saying. Minnie walks over and sniffs his hand with a wagging tail. She keeps whining at the door to see if Danielle is coming. That made Cole cry a lot. Marcus lets Minnie on his lap and he strokes her slowly.

The doorbell rings and Cole answers. Lacey and Thomas come inside dressed in a black suit and a black dress respectively. Thomas has flowers which he puts on the table for us.

"Thank you Thomas," Marcus says with a forced smile.

"It's okay, how are you doing?"

"I'm fine, I'm dealing with it," Marcus answers. Lacey looks at me like she knows he's lying. I take Thomas aside to the kitchen quietly.

"Could you take the alcohol I've got in the house to your place? Marcus keeps looking at the cabinet and I don't want him drinking when he's like this," I ask.

"Yeah I'll take them. Do you think he'll recover from this?" Thomas asks, his eyes getting teary.

"He's strong Thomas, you and I know that he'll get through anything life throws at him," I answer with a genuine smile. I know Marcus is struggling but he'll always get better with the help of all of us. We go back into the living room and Marcus is talking to Lacey.

"Let's get going," I say and Cole gets Minnie on the lead. Cole argued with Marcus' dad on the phone about bringing her because Danielle loved her so much.

We get into our cars and arrive at the church. Marcus looks scared so I kiss the back of his hand and give it a squeeze as we walk inside. I see Marcus' parents as Marcus squeezes my hand tightly.

"It'll be okay," I whisper to him and he nods.

"I'm so sorry for your loss," I say when we greet them.

"Thank you Nathan," Marcus' mum says while wiping a few tears from her face with a tissue. "This must be Minnie."

Minnie wags her tail at the sound of her name and it makes Marcus' mum smile a little.

"You shouldn't be here," Marcus' dad says to Marcus.

"Don't start, not here," I warn as he glares at Cole and Marcus.

"It's all your fault! You weren't good enough to take care of her! I blame you for her death!" He shouts and everyone looks at us. I pull Marcus to our seats and ignore his dad as much as I can.

"Ignore him," I say to Marcus and he doesn't answer. He lets go of my hand and looks away. Cole looks worried but I wave it off. We can talk to him about it later.

The service starts with the priest saying some words and then Marcus' parents talking about Danielle. All five of us have tears streaming down our faces by the end of it, even Thomas who only met her a couple of times. Marcus is trying his best to look okay but the tears say otherwise. At the end, we stand up and go outside where everyone else is.

"They spoke about her like she wasn't living with us for the past two months," Marcus says to himself.

"They don't want to look like bad parents in front of everyone. They also don't want you involved in any way which is just bullshit," Cole says angrily. Marcus nods while watching his parents where there's a lot of people giving condolences.

"Do you know any of these people?" I ask him and he nods his head.

"A lot are my family, aunts and uncles and stuff. They don't want anything to do with me anymore either," he says and wipes a new tear from his face.

"Marcus?" Someone says and we turn around to see a boy about Danielle's age looking at Marcus.

"Harvey?" Marcus says while looking at the boy closely.

"Yeah it's me. I haven't seen you in so long," says Harvey and hugs Marcus tightly. Marcus hugs him back but is looking around him worriedly.

"Who's this?" Cole asks with a smile at Harvey.

"This is my cousin. I haven't seen him since I was kicked out," Marcus says and Harvey lets go.

"Kicked out? They said you chose to leave us all," Harvey says with a confused face.

"They kicked me out for being gay. They walked in on me and my boyfriend at the time and made me leave, I would never leave you all by choice," Marcus says angrily.

"You're gay?" Harvey asks. Marcus looked worried but Harvey looks relived.

"Yeah, these are my boyfriends," Marcus says and points to me and Nathan.

"Oh, that's cool," Harvey says and smiles at us both.

"Where's your mum?" Marcus asks nervously.

"She's here somewhere, don't worry though, she doesn't know you're gay. None of us did," Harvey replies.

"How are my parents explaining me being here?" Marcus asks.

"They said you came for Danielle but didn't want to speak to any of us," Harvey says and I hear Thomas let out a huff.

"They're making sure no one talks to you so they don't get outed as homophobic assholes," Thomas growls and Lacey holds onto his arm to calm him down.

"Harvey! Get back here!" Shouts a small woman from quite far away. Harvey quickly gives Marcus a piece of paper and walks back to who I assume is his mum.

"He gave me his phone number," Marcus says while looking at the paper. He puts it in his pocket and looks off to where Harvey is now stood with the short woman.

"Are you going to call him?" Lacey asks gently.

"I will. He obviously wants me in his life. I used to babysit him and Danielle when they were little so he saw me all the time and then I was just gone. I should have fought harder to stay in contact," Marcus says and looks down at the ground.

"Stop blaming yourself for things Marcus," Cole says sternly. Marcus looks at him shocked but Cole doesn't falter. "None of this is your fault! I don't give a shit what your parents say or what you think, you aren't in the wrong!"

We all stand shocked for a moment until Marcus hugs Cole close to him and starts crying softly. Thomas takes Minnie's lead from Cole as I join the hug and comfort Marcus.

"I just can't believe she's gone," he sniffles.

"I know it's hard, but it'll get better. You need to give yourself time to grieve," I tell him and he nods.

When the casket gets lowered into the ground, we stay near the back of the group so Marcus' dad doesn't get angry. Marcus promises to come back alone to say goodbye and we go home. The car ride is quiet apart from Minnie's heavy breathing as she sits in the back with Cole. I drive so Marcus can have some time to think by himself. We get home and Thomas comes in to take the alcohol which Marcus is grumpy about but thinks it's a good idea nonetheless.

"What do you want to do?" Cole asks when we're all sat on the couch.

"Can we have a bath together?" Marcus asks and we go up to the bathroom with the big bath. We take time to strip off as the tub fills with water and bubbles. I get in first at the back and Marcus gets between my legs and then Cole between his. We stay in silence as we soak in the hot water. I rub Marcus' shoulders gently to relax him and he rests his head on my shoulder. He wraps his arms around Cole as his fingers play with his collar.

"Do you guys really love me?" He asks a few moments later.

"Of course we do," Cole answers quickly.

"What is there not to love?" I tease and place a kiss on his jaw.

"I just... I don't understand what you see in me," Marcus sighs. Cole turns around to face him with a glare.

"You're the kindest man I know. When Nathan broke up with me you took me in for the night and let me watch tv in your bed even though you barely knew me! You joined our contract to help our relationship just because you wanted to help us. You make us amazing dinners even though you're busy running your club. You're smart, and protective, and generous, and the best best big brother Danielle could have ever asked for. You let her live with us when she turned up on the doorstep and became an even better man than you were before. You let us get a dog just to make us happy! We love you because of all these amazing things about you, and because you love us back even more," Cole says and holds Marcus' hands.

"I agree with everything Cole said. And to add more you trained me to be a dominant even when I wasn't Dom material. You took time to bring me out of my shell and teach me to love my body as I am. After meeting you I went from never taking my shirt off in front of people to walking around in only leather pants in a club full of people. You're literally perfect, we're the lucky ones in this relationship," I tell him as his eyes well up with tears.

"I love you both so much," he says and hugs Cole into me and him.

"The journey ahead is going to be difficult and full of tears but I know it will get better because we have each other," I say and they both nod their heads.

Fuck I love my boyfriends.