"You fucking idiot," Thomas says as soon as I enter the office.

"Shut up," I groan and fall onto the couch next the Lucas. I look over to Marcus who's already changed into his leather pants, his bare chest on show.

"You've fucked up Nathan. Really fucked up. I'm tempted to bend you over my desk and flog you," Marcus says as he watches me from the opposite couch.

"I can't be his boyfriend-"

"Bullshit!" Lucas shouts and slaps my head.

"You two were perfect for each other and you know it, you're just scared of commitment and won't admit you love him," Marcus tells me with a stern voice. I look down at my hands and sigh.

"I can't be with him."

"He called me when you broke up with him. He stayed the night in my bed," Marcus says. I snap my head up to look at him and don't see any sign he's joking.

"He what? You slept with him?" I ask angrily. I just broke up with him and Marcus invites him over to stay in his bed? What the fuck!

"No I didn't sleep with him, I comforted him. It's my job as the master Dom to make sure all my subs are okay. It's interesting how angry you got though, maybe you do have feelings for him." Marcus gets up and heads to the door.

"Where are you going?" I ask and stand up too. He can't leave after saying that.

"I've got a Dom training session, you need to go home," he orders before he leaves the room.

"You should have talked to Cole about your issues instead of breaking up with him on the spot," Thomas says.

"Shut up."

I walk out of the office and go to my car, my hands shaking as I feel myself about to start crying. I really liked Cole, but he wanted more than I could give. If I didn't think breaking up was the best option for him then I wouldn't have done it. The first few tears fall down my cheeks when I get into the drivers seat of my car. In groan in frustration and hit my hands off the steering wheel. I don't want to go home. I don't want to sleep in my bed again. The last two nights I slept on the couch because my bed sheets smell too much like Cole and it makes me feel terrible. I pick up my phone and call the only other person who can help me out.

"Aaron, can I come over?" I ask into the phone when my older brother picks up.

"Sure, what's wrong?" His voice is full of concern.

"I broke up with Cole," I say.

"Come over, Faye's not here so we can get in our boxers with some pizza and beer," he says. Faye is his wife of four years. Aaron is the oldest of my siblings and is seven years older than me but we have always been really close. Every time one of us is going through something, we sit in our boxers and eat and get drunk. This is exactly what I need.

"I'll be an hour." I hang up the phone and drive out of the car park and towards my brother's house.

When I arrive I wipe the remaining tears from my cry on the way there, and get out of the car. I knock and Aaron comes out and pulls me into a hug. I wrap my arms around him and drop my head onto his shoulder.

"The pizza just got here, go in the living room and I'll get some beers," he says and pushes me in the direction of the living room. I sit down on the couch and kick my shoes off, pushing them aside.

"I've got pepperoni or chicken barbecue." He puts the pizza on the low coffee table then sits next to me on the couch and hands me a beer.

"Thanks," I say, the sound of my hoarse voice shocking me.

"So, start from the beginning. What happened?"

We sit for hours, talking and drinking. I tell him everything that happened, from the first blowjob Cole gave me, to the moment I broke up with him. As I got more and more drunk, I start to open up even more about my commitment issues that Aaron already knows about.

"You're a mess," he says when I finally stop talking. By this point, we're both drunk and Aaron is sat up on the couch with his feet on the coffee table and I'm laying with my head on his lap.

"I know," I sigh and try to sit up but my mind goes hazy so I lay back down.

"Let's go to bed, it's like 4 in the morning," Aaron slurs as he squints at the clock across the room. He stands up but collapses straight away, his body hitting the floor with a thud. He groans and rolls onto his back. I start giggling but it soon turns into full blown laughing.

"Shut upppp!" He shouts but is interrupted by his own laughing. The room is filled with our laughs as I stand up on wobbly legs to try and help Aaron up. We both startle when the front door shuts loudly and Faye walks in. She's watches us for a second and I try to act as sober but can't stop swaying.

"Are you drunk?" She asks her husband, already knowing the answer is yes.

"Noooooo. Nathan is though," he chuckles from his position on the floor. Faye sighs and puts down her bag to help Aaron off the floor. He holds onto her shoulders as he tries to kiss her lips.

"No, you have beer breath. Go to bed and I'll help Nathan," she says as she gives him a gentle push to the stairs. He stumbles up the steps as Faye hands me my glasses and has to help me push them onto my face.

"I can see you now," I mumble as Faye holds my elbow and helps me up the stairs. My feet keep missing the steps and it takes a few minutes for me to make it up to the landing.

"You can stay in the spare room," Faye says and moves me by my elbow. I hear Aaron calling Faye from their bedroom so I follow her in and see him laying in the bed with the blanket pulled to his chin.

"Can Nathan stay here?" He asks and pouts when Faye sighs.

"Fine, I'll have the guest room. But you're in the doghouse from now on," she says with a pointed finger at him. He giggles and I jump on the bed beside him, climbing under the covers and watching as Faye leaves.

"I'm in troubleeeee," he whispers which makes me laugh. I pull my glasses off my face and throw them off the bed.

"You're blurry," I say as I put my hand on his face. He pushes me away and laughs, pulling the blanket off me and rolling over.

"You're mean," I whisper.

————

Why does my head hurt so bad? And why the fuck is it so bright in here?

"Wake up! Come on! Get out of bed you two!"

I groan and roll over in the bed but half of my body falls off and I have to catch myself on my hands. I slowly drop to the floor and sigh, my hand covering my eyes.

"Faye! We're both hungover!" I hear Aaron complain. I sit up and pry my eyes open enough to see a blurry Faye and Aaron walking around the room.

"Both of you need to shower and get downstairs for breakfast. Nathan you need to call in sick from work."

She leaves the room and Aaron looks down at me and helps me off the floor.

"You can shower in here, I'll go to the other bathroom," he grumbles and leaves through the door, closing it behind him. I pick my phone up from the nightstand where Faye must have put it and call my boss. I put on my best sick voice and tell her that I'm ill and won't be in for the rest of the day. She tells me to get better soon then hangs up.

I then go over to where I know the on-suit bathroom is and lock the door behind me. The piercing headache I have really reinforces my plan to never drink ever again. At least I had fun and managed to stop thinking about Cole for a night.

Ugh, now I'm now thinking of Cole again. I miss the mornings I'd wake up with him snoring beside me. I miss waking him up with a blowjob or a nice spank to the asscheek. I miss him. But I still think my decision to let him go was the right one, it doesn't matter if I want him to be my sub, if I'm not ready to be his boyfriend, i'd be letting him down. I'd rather break his heart now then months or years down the line.

With this thought fresh in my mind, I climb in the shower and start the water cold to wake me up properly. I turn the water hot so I can wash myself and my hair to make myself smell less of alcohol and more of this coconut body wash.

Showering with Cole was always fun. He'd insist on washing me but I always knew he was only doing it to seduce me. Even though I knew his intentions, I would always let him have his way. I mean who would say no to a blowjob from him? His lips were always so soft around my cock and he would always look up at me as he swallowed me into his mouth. And don't even get me started on his tongue piercing.

"Oh shit," I say as I realise I've started to get hard from the thoughts of Cole on his knees for me. Well I can't just leave myself with blue balls, can I? I wrap my hand around my hardening length and give it a few tugs. I moan lowly and stroke myself at a steady pace as I lean my shoulder against the wall. I close my eyes and try to think of other subs like Oliver but my mind keeps going back to Cole with my cock in his ass or Cole over my lap being spanked or Cole riding my dick. My hand moves faster and my balls tighten as I think of all the things I want to do to Cole right now but can't because he's not mine anymore.

"Ahhh~" I slap my hand over my mouth as streams of cum erupt from my member and my legs start to shake. My hips thrust into my hand as I ride out my orgasm as quietly as I can. At least the shower is on to muffle my moans. When I'm done I quickly clean myself and turn off the shower and step out of the cubicle.

I look at the towel rack and feel my face fall when I realise Aaron didn't give me a towel. I can't get into my clothes when I'm dripping wet. I'm going to have to go downstairs. I'm not usually bothered by being naked, I can cover my dick with the blanket, but I don't want my brother's wife to see me half naked.

With a deep breath, I leave the bathroom and pull the blanket from the bed and wrap it around my waist. I walk out of the bedroom and to the landing. I can hear them downstairs eating breakfast so I pull the blanket closer and walk a few steps down the stairs.

"Aaron! You didn't give me a towel!" I shout down, hoping only Aaron comes around the corner. Unfortunately for me, Faye comes with him. I feel myself blush when she looks up at me and quickly looks away. Aaron starts laughing and pushes Faye into the kitchen so she can't see my half naked body.

"Go upstairs I'll bring one up," Aaron tells me while laughing his ass off. It's his fault for not giving me a towel! I grudgingly walk back up to the bedroom and sit on the bed, holding the blanket closer to my body. Soon enough, he comes in with a towel and throws it at me.

"Thanks, but it would have been better if I had one in the first place," I grumble.

"Shut up, at least I gave you one," he says and leaves me to get dressed. I dry myself off and put on my clothes from last night. When I'm ready, I go downstairs to get some breakfast.

"Good morning," I say to Faye, my cheeks regaining their pink colour when she giggles.

"I don't think I've ever seen you so embarrassed," she tells me with a laugh.

"Yeah, I didn't want my sister in law to see me half naked," I reply, my body on fire as I blush even harder.

"She didn't just see you half naked, you didn't cover your ass very well," Aaron says as he burst out laughing again.

"Shut up." I punch his arm and take a bite out of my toast.

"Aaron you should work out more," Faye says to him with a wink. This is my turn to laugh as Aaron goes in a mood at what his wife said. It's true that Aaron has an average body, not too skinny but not very muscular either, so he must be quite self conscious about me being muscular if Faye is making jokes about it.

"He's perfect the way he is, muscles or not. He could be a little less annoying but body wise, he's okay," I tell him and Faye agrees which makes him a little happier but he punches my arm for calling him annoying.

As I'm eating the rest of my breakfast my phone starts ringing. Marcus' name pops up on the screen so I excuse myself and go into the living room.

"Where are you?" He asks.

"I'm at my brother's house, why?"

"I'm at your place, I came to see if you were okay after last night. I'm sorry for being so harsh but you needed to hear it."

"It's fine. I know what you think of my decision but I really thinks it's the right thing for me and Cole."

"I know I won't change your mind but I'm still your master Dom and it's my job to make sure every member of my club is okay. So get back here and meet up with me. I even woke up early for you."

"I'll be home in an hour, there's a key in the light on the left side of the door. Just let yourself in," I say and hang up the phone. I'm dreading this chat with Marcus but I know I need it. Even if it won't change my mind about Cole, hopefully it'll help Marcus understand my reasoning more.

"I've got to head home, thank you for letting me stay the night," I tell my brother but before I leave he hands my my glasses and I put them on so I'll be able to drive. I thank Aaron and Faye then get in my car and drive back home.

The entire time I'm driving I keep getting more nervous. Marcus can be scary when he's being serious. I've been friends with him for the last 7 years since I joined the club so I know him well but that doesn't make him any less intimidating. Marcus trained me to be a Dom which meant I had to essentially be his sub for a few weeks, along with two other doms. During those weeks he tested me to my max and didn't show much compassion, it was only after I'd passed the tests he became the caring master Dom I know him as now.

When I get home I see Marcus' car on the driveway so I park on the curb and get out the car. Before I open the door, I take a deep breath and prepare myself for him.

"I'm back!" I shout into the house when I finally open the door and step inside. I walk into the living room and see Marcus on the couch reading a book from my bookshelf. He puts it down and nods his head to the seat beside him. I sit down so I'm facing him and he turns his body to do the same.

Goddamn he looks good. He's wearing a light blue button up shirt, with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and dark jeans that hug his legs nicely. His hair isn't gelled like normal so I can see his natural curls but it's still neat and not at all messy.

"Are you alright?" He asks, his voice sounding genuine.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Don't lie to me. I've known you long enough to know when you're not okay. Talk to me Nathan." He lifts my chin to make me look at him and wipes away a tear that has dripped down my cheek.

"I miss him." My voice sounds so much weaker than I would have hoped it to be. "But I can't be his boyfriend. He deserves someone who can be his Dom and give him the love outside of bdsm. I'm not that guy."

"I understand, I'm sorry for pushing you to get back with him. I should have seen that you aren't ready for a commitment," Marcus says and pulls me into his chest to hug me as I cry silently.

"Thank you Marcus, it means a lot."