❤️

Watching my life flash before my eyes as the dagger shot straight to my heart was an eery thing.

When I left the manor, only to get fresh air and think, never did I believe I would be fighting for my life out in the forest.

The knife glinted dangerously as I watched it in nearly slow motion as it loomed toward my body. Fear and anger rushed from my gut and fueled my arms to shoot out in front of me, my hands grasping hard onto Marit's wrists as the distance between the knife and my body drew closer. My nails curled deep into her skin, drawing blood, as we struggled for power.

My eyes were focused on the blade, watching it shake violently between our bodies as we fought for control over the dagger.

I refused to let her kill me like this, I refused to die. If anything, I wanted her to die. I had enough her tricks.

Marit's face was pinched and her bared teeth were clenched tightly as she shoved down with her might. She let out a harsh grunt and the dagger slipped closer to my chest, making my arms ache as I pushed back with more force. My muscles were beginning to feel the strain, but I pushed through it because the ache meant I was alive.

My heart was pounding, making my pulse ring in my ears with each thump. My lungs were nearly seizing in my chest; the panic, fear, and anger boiling hotly within me.

We were at a stand still, the blade in between our bodies in a struggle that seemed to last for so long.

By the gods, when would this end?

Marit let out a frustrated gargled scream as she wrenched the dagger out my reach. Nothing was occurring and that was infuriating her more. I cursed aloud and pushed my hips up to throw her off to make her distracted, but it simply made her lose her balance as she tried to stab me once more.

The blade came down and sliced at an angle through my dress, dragging along my sternum down towards my ribs. The sharp sting made my teeth clench as air rushed through my mouth in a low hiss.

Panic rushed through me as the blade grazed right on the skin over my heart. It did not take much pressure for a blade to pierce soft flesh, it was too close for my comfort.

Grabbing her wrist that held the dagger in one hand, I rose up and slapped her hard in the face with a loud crack. Her head snapped to the side, her dark hair flying out around her. Blood lined the dagger in a sickening way.

That was my blood on the blade. My belly rolled as the smell of it in the air.

The large imprint of my hand was red, angry, and swollen as she slowly turned her head from the side to glare down with heated loathing. Without the rising moon's reflection on the dagger, I would have missed the dagger arching down quickly once more. Now in Marit's eyes was the murderous intent to finally end me.

Someone was going to die.

I grabbed her arms almost too late, making the dagger veer to the left as it came down. I pushed her arms in a different direction, towards the ground next to me. White hot pain rushed through my body as the dagger entered deeply into my upper arm, making me screech at the pain. Marit cackled at the sight of my blood spilling, and I could practically see her lust for blood enrage further.

Tears stung my eyes at the feeling of metal entering my body, but I could not let my pain take over the dire situation. I took the chance to roll, remembering what Kare told me once long ago, throwing my body's weight to the side and successfully making Marit fall next to me.

Unsatisfied, she reached out to grab the dagger with slippery bloodied hands, only to tug the handle at a new angle that made my arm pulse hotly. I had to bite my lip to stifle the scream that crept up my throat.

I knocked her hands away as I kicked at her belly, a small distraction from what I was about to do, though I knew it would be extremely painful. I gritted my teeth for a breath and grasped the hilt hard and pulled, a weird slick slurping sound reaching my ears as the friction of metal and flesh met. My stomach rumbled dangerously at the sickening sound as the blood-soaked dagger met my vision.

Blood began flowing out like a river down the fabric of my dress, but that was minimal compared to the patches of it all over my dress from my scratch and Marit's wound.

"You die on this night, Haraldsson," she hissed low at me as she slowly crept to stand. I noticed the sway of her body as she finally got on two feet, the blood loss taking a large toll.

I pulled up to my knees as I wiped the slick dagger on my ragged dress, watching her carefully. I too finally took a stand, bracing my feet apart to plan my next move accordingly.

"'Tis Dahlsten, you hore," I sneered back at her before finally lunging at her with the dagger raised.

I had had enough.

Our dirtied and bloodied bodies clashed together as we rolled, shoved, hit, and finally, stilled as blood began pooling out in amounts beyond repair into the cold, frostbitten ground below.

A ragged cough was inhaled and never left, as a heart ceased beating due to the dagger embedded deep in the chest. The night sky was cold and dark, only the sounds of heavy, coarse breathing and the hoot of an owl nearby broke the silence throughout the forest.

Glassy eyes green as the trees in spring stared at me as the light of life within dimmed quickly. My hand was still wrapped around the dagger hilt that protruded from her chest as she took her last haggard breath.

I let go quickly, my eyes widening until it hurt as I stared at Marit, who was lying in a pooling her own blood. By my hand. My entire body shuddered as the image before me locked in my mind.

I turned away as I dry heaved at the sight.

I just killed someone.

The thought alone made my throat constrict and my hands shake profusely. I could barely breathe, light wheezes leaving my mouth.

"Great Odin, forgive me," I whispered hoarsely into the night.

The amount of blood on our bodies made the bile rise in my throat and I coughed as I crawled away from her dull orbs that stared hauntingly at nothing.

Forever to remain glazed over with death.

I turned and pressed my back against a tree, securing my body from the emotions and exertion that were finally taking a toll and resting deeply on me. I bit back a whimper as I hugged my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around my legs, curling in as tight as I could.

I sat curled in a ball for a time, watching the moon slowly make its way up through the trees. The wind howled through the branches, the loud sound making me jump. Soon after, my frame began shaking as the cold current mixed with the chilling blood covered on my dress clung to my skin.

I am not sure how long I stayed out in the woods with the dead body of Marit lying beside me. Perchance it was the shock of killing a person, seeing the life force dim until it was eventually snuffed. So simple, so easy. It was too easy to take a life. I stared hard at my stained shaking hands that were tainted with death.

I suddenly wished to wash my hands, nei entire body, to rid of the blood and the stench of it and all that occurred this night.

I sat against the tree for what seemed like a long period of time, I could not tell but for the rising of the moon as it nearly reached its peak high in the sky. I watched absently, my mind finally and blissfully blank, staring up at the night sky with the stars twinkling like jewels.

I believed that the blood stopped flowing from the wound on my arm, but as I moved my arms to raise from the ground, the wound flared hotly and I had to bite my lip from the searing flash of agony. The cut along my middle made its presence as blood trickled out at a steady pace. I was losing too much blood.

I glanced back at my hands and did a double take, the tips were turning a hue of blue.

I did not realize how cold it was until the fog of my exhaled breath spread out in front of my eyes, and how much I was shaking. My teeth could not stop chattering.

The night was getting too cold to stay here, I had to go back to the manor to seek help. I could possibly freeze to death if I stayed. I refused to carry Marit's corpse, even if I wished to, my arm would not allow it.

I bent to grab my fallen cloak and carefully wrapped it around my body. One hand was clasping the material together while my injured arm remained tucked against my body to prevent any movement. Still shaking from cold and shock, I began to slowly make my way to the manor.

Watching ahead for any glimpses of life, I nearly cried as the lit torches around the back entrance of the manor finally peeked from the tree line. I walked through the trees to find the grounds barren and silent. I glanced around, noting how strange the silence that layered this night around the manor.

"Hallo?" I hollered out.

There was no response. Did something occur while I was away?

Pulling the door open and quietly walking into the open hallway, not a soul was about. It was quiet, too quiet for my liking. The flames of the torches on the walls flickered and cast numerous shadows against the halls. Doorways were now obscured with darkness and the hall toward my chambers seemed like a black pit of the unknown.

"Hallo?" I called out again.

A loud scuffle sounded in the darkened hallway, making my head snap to the noise and a chill suddenly rolled over my already cold skin.

The rise of voices down the hall caught my attention. I trudged slowly to the large wooden doors of the food hall where I heard loud voices from inside. I paused before grasping the door, finally taking in how my entire body was covered in dirt and blood. I blinked several times, my fingers ghosting over the long cut down the middle of my dress and noting how the blood had spread out through the middle. Majority of it was not mine, but hers.

Heaving a deep, tired sigh, I opened the door slowly. The loud groan of the doors alerted the group of familiar and not so familiar people that were in a heated exchange. They froze as I entered quietly, my eyes wide at the number of people in the room, all sound of talk diminished within a blink of an eye.

"Great Odin, Britta! What happened!?"

"Britta, where have you been?"

"Is this she?"

"Thank the gods, you are alive!"

I flinched as the overwhelming yells echoed throughout the hall and I took a step back before rubbing my suddenly aching head. Ingrid rushed over to me as quickly as she could before wrapping me in a hug. Balder watched me carefully from afar.

I hissed loudly at the pulsing pain before dipping my shoulder away from her touch. Her brow pursed before her eyes slowly made their way from my worn slippers to the blood-soaked gown and locking gazes with me. Tears reached her dark eyes and I looked away guiltily.

"Britta, what happened? You were gone for so long! Do you realize how late it is? You had me worried sick, and you know how it is not good for my condition-"

"Marit is dead. I killed her," I breathed out, the air leaving my lungs in a whoosh.

She gasped. Her eyes widened as her hand slowly raised to cover her mouth in shock.

"What? Are you sure?"

Balder silently stalked over to us and stared down hotly at me with his golden eyes. "Are you certain?"

I stared back with irritability seeping into my body. "Ja. I was walking through the woods and she approached me. 'Twas so sudden. She attacked and I wounded her with a dagger I had in my belt. We fought...then I attacked her and when we stopped rolling, the blade was deep in her chest. There was so much blood. I could not carry her body here, it is still out in the woods," I whispered shakily before exhaling deeply.

Balder's eyes hardened before he ran a hand through his hair. It was sticking up in different areas, a sign of his stress. He opened his mouth only to shut again, looking torn between indignation and gratefulness.

"We were not sure what happened to you, all of our men went looking for you. Gods, Aderick is going to kill me," He muttered while rubbing his mouth with a hand.

Hilde neared our group before stopping just behind Balder, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Are you alright, Britta? Have you been hurt?" She asked in that soft, comforting voice of hers.

My hand ghosted over my upper arm that was bleeding again and the cut on my middle flared as the material of my gown touched it. I could feel the trickles of blood on my wrist that continued down toward my fingertips.

Ingrid muttered something about getting nauseous as she turned away at the sight of my blood, her hand resting on her stomach.

Hilde grabbed my hand gently before pulling me toward my chair. A snap of her fingers caught the attention of a nearby servant, who saw my ragged appearance and quickly left to get fresh water and cloths.

She carefully kneeled in front of me as I sat down, her golden eyes soaking in everything. Hilde carefully grabbed a tumbler of water off of the table and silently raised to my lips. I drank till the cup was empty, letting out a sigh before laying back into the fur padded seat. I closed my eyes and lightly dozed before a wet cloth touching my skin made me jump awake.

Hilde smiled softly before continuing her task, wiping off the blood on my exposed skin. Ingrid finally walked over to grasp my hand, sitting in Aderick's chair and squeezing it from time to time to remind me of her presence. Balder was talking to the strange men, gesturing to me and nodding before clasping his hand on the tall man's shoulder, who in turn nodded deeply before turning away to sit down.

He made his way to us and sat down in a chair nearby rubbing his brow.

"Who are they?" I asked weakly, gesturing with my head to the strange men behind us.

Balder turned his head slightly to confirm my acquisition. He too let out a heavy sigh before turning to address me.

"That is Jarl Egil from the far north. He has come to help us since Aderick is gone and we are low on warriors. He told me that Ragnar reached his land and asked for his help. Aderick now owes him, which I do not think is wise, yet I think the timing is perfect. We were panicked when you did not return after a short period of time, his men were helpful and understanding. I also believe that Aderick wanted him to assist us in taking down that drittsekk that continues to taunt us."

I hummed in response before murmuring, "Let them know that they are welcome in my home and may rest in one of the spare chambers. And tell them it is my regret that I cannot formally introduce myself. It has been a harsh night."

"Of course," He replied with a dip of his head. He rose and left the hall.

I was too tired to think much more about the stranger, Marit, and now guests. I was ready to sleep away the day and forget it all. I was, of course, ready to be held in Aderick's arms once more. My stomach cramped at the loneliness I felt at that moment, though I was surrounded by important people in my life.

As if reading my mind, Ingrid and Hilde rose from their seats as Ingrid said, "Let us retire to your chambers, Britta. There you can rest and get clean."

"Ja, I have a bath ready in your chambers, we need to clean the dirt and blood off of you and cleanse your wounds," Hilde added while brushing a few hairs away from my eyes.

I nodded wearily, ready to be under the furs and close my eyes and forget the glassy green eyes that were imprinted in my mind.

I do not remember the walk from the food hall to my chambers, my mind a glassy cloudy fog. My cloak and gown were stripped away as I sank down into the warm water in which steam was rolling in comforting waves. My eyes closed as the water slipped higher and warmed my sore muscles. The heat and the slash on my stomach were conflicting, my body stiffening at the feeling. Hands were pushing my shoulder back down into the water and my eyes bulged open at the fire that began to spread along my front.

I cursed darkly at nothing in particular before the burn eased to a settle ache. I apologized to both women for being such a burden, but both waved it off and scolded me for even thinking that way.

I was scrubbed and washed with care, the water was turning a peculiar color with the red blood and dirt blending together. Ingrid carefully washed around my wounds and plucked out specks of leaves and dirt from the lesions which made me bite my lip from crying out.

I quickly dried off with a cloth that Hilda gave me, and pulled a light slip on my body before nearly crawling under the furs. Hilde placed more logs into the fire, warming the room. She turned with a light gauze material to wrap my wounds in her small hands. I could see the worry in her eyes that an infection may occur, but it was rare that it happened. Only severe wounds got infected, mine were simply scratches.

After Hilde wrapped them diligently and told me to be cautious when sleeping on my side, my eyes fought to stay open. She double checked the wrappings and the bleeding before nodding to herself. I inwardly smiled because she reminded me of Astrid and her motherly tendencies. Ingrid pressed a light kiss to my brow before smiling lightly at me and whispered goodnight.

A smile crept its way on my face before shutting my eyes, letting go to be embraced in the blissful void of sleep.

*.*.*

It was warm. Too hot.

My skin felt as though 'twas burning and nothing could snuff it out.

Sweat rolled down my head and I tossed around before sighing. The cool side of the bed was not helpful. I blindly threw off the furs from my body and bed. It helped some, but not enough.

A cup was pressed against my lips and as soon as the liquid hit my tongue, I began gulping it down as the cooling taste of water soothed my throat.

"We need to cleanse the wound and brand it shut before a stronger infection arrives," A rough scratchy voice that I had never heard before rumbled from across the room.

"I do not like it," I heard Balder grumble as a cold, wet cloth touched my throat and danced around my wounds.

"Either the Jarl's wife gets a deadly infection and possibly loses her life or we brand it shut. It shall take a few moments, nothing more. If she is as strong as I have heard, she shall be fine. Aderick is still going to kill you, but I think you know that," The rough voice said again.

"True as that may be, any extensive infection in her system shall have detrimental consequences," I faintly heard Eir reply by my head.

"Eir, we must rid of the slight infection from her system. 'Tis been nearly two sunrises with her like this. I agree with Egil, branding it shut with a hot metal will prevent anything else from happening to her," Hilde's soft voice was right over my heated body.

My assumption was that she was the one wiping my body down with a cool cloth. How I appreciated her in this moment.

"Poor Britta, her life has been so harsh, when shall the burdens leave her be?" Ingrid's whispered voice wavered with emotion.