"Do you believe that 'tis possible to strung a man by the little toes with rope?" I mused as I lounged on a padded chair in Ingrid's purple room.

Her tickling laugh ran throughout the room, Hilde's soft chuckle balanced the light lilting of her kin's. I continued to twirl a piece of my hair round my fingers, weaving it around the digits until I ran out of hair. I imagined Aderick's head as my fingertips as I tightly wrapped the blonde locks around until it turned another color.

There was the extent in which my brothers loved to torment and tease me to the point I would grow furious and frustrated near tears from their remarks and actions. But this continuing building feeling of anger and hurt from Aderick's actions channeled furiously in my chest did not seem to perish as days passed.

It had been nearly a week since that day I found Aderick had left, and my anger and hurt only developed into something more.

I tried distracting myself with different scenarios that I could punish Aderick with. I relayed images of torment my brothers had once described too loudly, one where the man was strung up on his feet on piles of rocks, his arms pulled up and away from his body with rope. One slight slip and he would be hanging by his wrists.

Nei, too boring.

Hilde and Ingrid were discussing a new fabric and ribbons that were brought from the last raid, the vibrant colors were beautiful, rich and most definitely a coveted prize. I was too distracted to pay attention to something I would have enjoyed.

I was worried sick about Aderick, if he was fine or if he would come home soon.

But by the gods, did I wish to strangle that man for doing this to me.

Was it wrong of me to have such conflicting emotions? I cared for his wellbeing, for his safe return, but that man would not win me over by sweet words or heated touches. Nei, Aderick Dahlsten was going to feel the wrath of his wife.

"Stil brooding?" Hilde called from across the room.

Blinking out of my twisted thoughts, I turned my head towards the women who held fabrics in their hands and looked at me with pity. That fact alone made me irritable alone. I did not wish to be pitied. I simply felt...lost.

Aderick had quickly become a large part of my life, filling in the gaping holes that that fateful night left on my soul. I was used to sleeping next to his snoring self every night, being able to roll over and feel his constant warmth at any time of the night. Now, I tossed and turned, unable to sleep due to the nightmares coming back to haunt me. My throat was raw from the screams that would escape my throat. Only sitting by the dying fire and playing with my cat would assist in keeping me from slipping into the haunted dreams.

I missed his teasing talk, his touches, and the bright, warm way my belly would light up when we were in each other presences.

But I would not stoop below to become a walking corpse . . . that I could not function without my man beside me. Nei, today would be the end of such moping and melancholy persona.

"Nei, just plotting," I mused with an evil smirk.

A loud meow cast my eyes to the floor, where my little kitten was flicking her tail back and forth as she eyed my hair that danced along my waist. Her eyes grew large as she prepared to pounce and I quickly threw the lock behind me as she jumped onto my lap where the strand was moving. I let out a choked laugh as a grumbled purr left my cat as she began playing with the tips of my curls with her sheathed paws.

Ingrid let out a coo as she neared my kitten, who I finally named kisa. She let out a loud rumble in her little chest as Ingrid and then Hilde rubbed her ears and under her chin. Purrs loud enough to shake her furry body were heard throughout the room.

"She helps with him being gone," I murmured as finally, the petting ceased and kisa settled into my lap, her tail covering her closed eyes as she fell asleep. The thought to join her was tempting.

Ingrid watched me for several breaths as I kept my focus on kisa, well aware of her hard stare. "I know you miss him, Britta, I miss Ragnar as well. I would not worry about him so much. I believe he knows what is to come when he arrives home. A scorned woman has the wrath of all the earth and the gods under her feet. Ade just has to learn that nothing like that shall happen again."

I nodded absently as I softly stroked the bundle of fur in my lap. A soft purr gifted my ears as I continued listening to Ingrid.

"Even though he is my brother, I still wonder how we are siblings, as we are both - Britta! Why are you falling asleep at this time of day?"

I jerked my head from the side of the chair, blinking my eyes furiously to rid the sleep from them. Apologetically, I winced and softened the blow of falling asleep on her with a timid smile. She narrowed her eyes and stared at my face. Internally, I flinched as I knew what I looked like. The lack of sleep was affecting me greatly, more than I let on.

Grabbing a chair to pull beside me, Ingrid gasped low as she took in the shadows underneath my eyes. She took hold of my jaw, twisting my head this way and that to assess my pallid, tired features. She tsked and muttered low rough curses as her small fingers brushed on the dark purplish shadows.

"Britta..." She murmured softly, her dark eyes so much like my husband's peering deep into my own.

I pulled away from her touch. "I know," I said with a heavy sigh.

"It is hard for me to sleep without my husband too," Ingrid softly said to me as she leaned in closer.

Her eyes flickered up to Hilde, who nodded at her kin then quietly left the room.

"Come," Ingrid whispered as we stood. I carefully held kisa in my arms as Ingrid lead me to the bed. I stopped abruptly as I realized what Ingrid had in mind, kisa protesting in my hold with a grumble, and began backing away shaking my head.

"You need rest, and this growing child of mine makes me tired constantly. This creates an excuse to sleep during the day," She said with a pleased grin.

I opened my mouth to protest, to tell her that I did not need sleep. A harsh glare from my sister made my lips close as I realized how much I craved some small amount of time to close my eyes without a nightmare.

Before I got in, I froze as I thought of what could have occurred within the furs of this bed. This room was Ingrid's before she wedded Ragnar, and I did not wish to sleep in the same spot as my sister and her husband. The thought made my stomach twist sickeningly.

"Trust me, I am the only one that has slept in this bed since it was my room as a maiden. No need to worry about any of consummation here," Ingrid smirked at me as she threw the furs back and carefully got into bed with her slightly swollen belly.

I raised my brow as I stared at her under all the soft furs. She smiled encouragingly and patted next to her. With a sigh, I conceded and swept under the furs while placing kisa beside me. She lazily opened her bright eyes before moving towards the end of the bed where she tended to sleep.

From the side, my vision picked up Hilde walking in with a cup of steaming brew. Her gentle golden eyes took in my face as she extended to cup to me.

"My mother was plagued with sleepless nights herself, and I remember her drinking this from time to time. This helps soothe your mind and keeps you asleep for quite some time. Here, drink it all and it shall ease your stress."

I bit my lip and inhaled deeply at the sweet smelling brew that looked like the ale the people liked to drink. My nose wrinkled at the thought. Noting Hilde's supporting smile, I sat up carefully before taking a sip. Surprisingly, it was sweet and reminded me much of the brew that Astrid used to make at home.

Blowing on it, I continued drinking it until it was gone. I smiled at Hilde in thanks as she took the cup away from my hands.

"Sleep, Britta. You as well Ingrid. Your babe shall take up all of your energy, you must rest more than what you are comfortable with. I shall talk with you both soon."

And with that, Hilde left the room, shutting the door quietly behind her.

I faced Ingrid as we settled into the bed and warm furs. I let out a sigh, my body seemed to sink into the bed, locking me in until I gained more sleep. I turned on my side and rested my hands near my face, shutting my eyes. I typically slept like this every night until Aderick pulled me against his side just before I completely fell asleep.

A cold hand suddenly touched my curled hands, making my eyes pop open. Ingrid's eyes were closed, but a whisper of a smile touched her face as she felt my curious eyes.

Ingrid squeezed my hands with her own, keeping us locked together as we focused on resting. Nuzzling the pillow I breathed out slowly, letting the worry, anger, and hurt escape my mind as the brew, warm furs, and the comfort of Ingrid next to me lulled me in a limbo state.

Sooner than I imagined, my eyelids were growing heavy. With a final flutter, unconsciousness swept me into its arms.

*.*.*

"That was delicious," Balder exclaimed as we all finished our flavorful meal.

I hummed in agreement as I sat back in my chair. For a change, Hilde joined us in the food hall to eat. After much persuasion from Balder, Ingrid, and myself, she relented to coming to eat with us at least once a week to begin interacting more with people.

We were still working on breaking her shell to expose that bright girl that Balder and Ingrid once described to me. I enjoyed Hilde's presence now with her kindness and thoughtfulness, but I was curious to see the old Hilde that I have heard quite a lot about.

Ingrid let out a sigh as she patted her belly and slumped into her chair. "That was quite so, but I have a feeling this babe shall not let me keep it down," She said mournfully looking down at her empty trencher.

I repressed a giggle at her words. After our long rest earlier today, Ingrid was determined to keep me busy with household chores and playing with the village children to keep my mind off Aderick's absence.

"I do not know, little cousin, perchance you are gaining pounds of flesh instead of a babe by how much you just ate. 'Tis enough for a man's portion of stew." Balder teased.

Ingrid glared at her kin. "Care to say that again, dear sweet Balder? I shall string you up by your monstrous ears and tie you to a yew tree."

His hands automatically went to his ears as he winced at the thought. "I believe the heir of Ragnar is making you as bloodthirsty as him. By the gods, Ingrid. Do you always have such dark twisted thoughts?"

"Nei, only to those that are not careful of how they speak to me," She lilted with a cock of her head.

Hilde laughed and I could not help myself by joining in.

I stopped and let out a muffled groan as my full stomach and laughing made my stomach ache fiercely.

I shook my head at everyone before I took a drink of cool water.

"I am going on a walk - I need to walk off this meal and think for a bit; I shall be back soon," I said as I pushed away from the table.

"Would you like me to come with you?" Ingrid blurted out, beginning to pull away from the table.

I shook my head. I wanted to connect with the earth and nature around the manor, to breathe in cold air into my chest as I sorted my thoughts and feelings. My belly would stop protesting at every breath once I walked for some time. A good separation away from the manor would do me some good.

Heading out the large doors that faced the forest, I inhaled deeply before clutching my dark cloak around my shoulders a bit tighter.

My blue dress swished around my ankles silently as I walked on a worn path into the forest, watching the little frosted flakes of snow falling gently on the limbs and bushes before melting.

The sun was starting to set in the distance through the trees, the sky a beautiful mirage of colors that took my breath away. A few birds chirping and my crunch of leaves under my slippers were mind-easing. The chilly wind from the mountain made my hair dance around my face in a wild disarray, making me blow out pieces from my mouth.

I continued walking until the sun was on the cusp of leaving the horizon, letting my mind think about my family and the additions of my newest family. I wondered if my parents would be proud of me, if they even suspected that I would eventually marry a Dahlsten, no less a Jarl.

I wondered about Leif, Astrid, Ran, Bo, and all my other family members. I missed them so, their loss would forever remain with me, but I was determined to think of all the good moments we spent together as a family. To focus on their death would make me crazy. That is what Balder told me would help with mourning their loss.

I slowed my steps as I felt a pair of eyes watching me. The hair on the back of my neck rose and I had to repress a shiver. I acted calmly, continuing like I was not aware, but the feeling intensified as I kept walking. I turned quickly to face the other person, but all I saw was a quickly darkening forest.

Glancing around the forest cautiously, a flash of red cloth passed by my vision by my side.

I whirled around to face the person that was here, but my eyes did not catch anything. The frost tipped leaves shuttered in the cold wind, creating an eery sound. I swallowed harshly as I turned in circles, trying to find the brief look of red once more.

"Hallo?"

The rustling of the branches and the sways of the trees high above seemed to heighten and become louder, a thrill going down my back as the eery feeling intensified as well.

Marit in the flesh strolled from behind a tree, her long dark hair a mess around her face. There were multiple bruises spread along her cheek, lips, and spilt skin along her brow. Whatever she encountered gave her quite the beating.

"Marit?" I inquired, puzzled of how she could be here.

She smiled widely at me, not saying a word, and I took a step back as she approached me. The spark in her eyes were dead, her gaze flat as she glared at me. That look created a slight spark of fear within me and I hesitated moving too quickly. What happened to her?

She smiled coyly, her head tilting in an odd fashion.

"He is coming for you, you know. Sooner than you believe. He loves you, so much that he is willing to do anything to have you. Once he does, he promised to give me Aderick. A trade, you see." She giggled at the thought.

I froze at her words. What?

Red-hot anger boiled deep in my body as I sneered at her. Who was she to say that Aderick, my husband, was hers to love? He was mine, as I was his.

No one, not even this man, could take me away from him.

I smirked as I slid a hand towards my lower back where I kept a small welded blade tied to the belt around my waist. "That is where you are wrong, Marit. Aderick shall never want you, not in this life nor the next. You are nothing to him. A thrall hore. Whoever you are working with shall not win, as I shall never be another man's wife."

Marit's crazed smile dropped and her eyes flashed dangerously. I finally had a hold of the knife, pulling it gently out the sheathe and I held it against my side, hidden under the cloak.

Before I could comprehend what was happening, Marit had launched herself towards me. I yelped as I slammed against a tree behind me. The rough bark scraped against my back, cutting through the fabric. Marit's cold hands aimed for my neck.

Naturally, my hands went forward to protect myself and I aimed the knife at Marit. The feeling of the knife entering her body made me want to hurl, but I pulled the dagger out of her side with a sickening sound as I kicked her back in the chest. She staggered backward and clutched her side where my blade met her skin.

A well of blood bloomed on her ragged dress as she looked at her wound. Her palms were covered in her own essence. My hands shook as I glanced at the knife that was covered in blood.

By the gods, I stabbed someone. I swallowed roughly before watching Marit once more.

It seemed as though the wound only made her angrier. Her teeth snapped at me before she charged again.

Sliding the knife to my other hand, I reared back and threw a fist at her jaw. Stumbling away, she crouched low and threw herself against my middle, making us both fall to the earth.

The knife flew from my grasp as we tumbled and I desperately searched for it with one hand while the other and my foot were attempting to push the crazed woman off. I grunted low as I felt the handle brush my fingertips with no luck.

I threw another quick punch to her cheek before rolling toward the knife. She cackled as she spit out blood. I continued pushing her away with all my might as I struggled to search blindly for the knife.

Marit tsked above me. "Looking for this?" Her eyes shined brightly as the knife dangled in her bloody grasp.

With an evil smile, Marit raised her arms and plunged the knife towards my heart.

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