"Get rid of it."

A low cry of protest escaped Laila's mouth. "Are you daft? This dress is a marvelous gown, one of the best I have ever made! What is wrong with this masterpiece?"

I smoothed my features that wished to contort at the head dressmaker's words. I tilted my head to the side, studying the dress before me.

'Twas stunning, I shall admit, but the memories attached to this dress were not something I wished to remember on the day I married Aderick. The torment of grief, anger, and that paralyzing numbness I felt as the women in the room assembled this piece of clothing many moons ago was awful. I still battled with most of those emotions now as I stood here in my chambers, preparing for my wedding day without any family here.

I inwardly sighed. What I would not give for my mother and Astrid to be here beside me.

The finished white gown was stitched to perfection, the black and gold belt placed beautifully against the waistline. The fox fur along the collar made the light fabric stand out. It was a dress fit for a Jarl's bride; extravagant and doused in the best of fabrics from across the sea. For a wedding, the dress was perfect.

Yet it was not the dress for me.

My eyes sought out Laila who almost stood protectively in front of her piece. I bit back a laugh at her stance. 'Twas almost as if the dress was her reprimanded child, and she the protective mother defending her creation. I glanced towards Ingrid across the room, who was no help, as she lounged in a chair munching on morsels of cheese and dried fruits laid out on a tray by her chair. She was in her own little world.

I huffed and rolled my eyes. She was no help at all.

I raised my hands in a defensive motion. "Nei, Laila I did mean it that way. What you made is stunning, but 'tis not for me. The past and all the negative energy tied to that dress makes me ache inside and I cannot marry Jarl Aderick in it."

"What do you mean?" She huffed, crossing her arms in agitation.

I looked away, focusing my gaze out the window. I almost flinched as small flecks of snow hit the window pane and instantly melted. Time was not on our side, the days passing quickly, and I inwardly feared of an attack sooner than Eir predicted.

Pushing away the hoarding and lingering thoughts, I focused on the issue at hand. I simply wished to have a new dress for the wedding, a symbol of my new life, which was announced last night to the clan only a few days after Aderick proposed in bed.

My response...my face burned at my unexpected yet seductive answer while snuffing out any doubts of my growing feelings for him.

How else could I persuade the man who left me there on the bed all alone, with my joyous response on the tip of my tongue? Once I found him in the empty chambers, with tears glistening in those enchanting eyes, I knew I had to give him an answer that he would never forget. Once I pressed him against the wall, under my control, I took charge and showed him how I felt with my touch and kiss.

I thought my improvised plan worked well.

The people were ecstatic about the news, happy to help plan this extravagant feast and celebration for the marriage of their Jarl. Numerous women approached me after our announcement to ask what they could do to help, I only shrugged and kindly let them know what I hoped for. Ingrid immediately jumped in and took over the planning, shoving aside my what I had in mind. I wished to have a small and simple celebration, but Aderick, as well as Ingrid, persisted that this is what their people did, and for our marriage it was going to be even more so. A nearly week-long celebration for a happy and productive marriage, with many children to bless us from the gods.

I took a deep breath, coming back to the present. My mind felt as though 'twas all over the place.

How do I explain the complexity of how I felt during that time? Was it any of their business to really know? I blew out an irritated breath. I did not know what to do.

Turning my attention to Laila, who was impatiently waiting with her foot tapping, I decided to lay it all out for her.

"My memories and mental state during the time in which you made this dress for me were not good. Thinking that Jarl Aderick had murdered my entire family and clan to wed me and make me his wife was truly awful. Almost unbearable. As soon as I arrived, I was thrust into wedding planning. No one with a right mind could stand that. I barely did. I nearly killed myself to escape what I felt. There is too much negativity tied to that gown, no matter how beautiful it is. I want a wedding dress in which I feel happy in, and all those emotions a bride should feel on her day. This dress?" I gestured behind Laila, almost making her flinch with my words, "No matter how lovely, is not for me."

Laila's sharp eyes softened and I swore I saw a glint of tears in those dark eyes. She sniffed inconspicuously, brushing a stray gray lock of hair away from her eyes. She cleared her throat, finally nodding and agreeing my decision. I relaxed, thankful, as I was ready to argue once more with this stubborn woman.

"Forgive me, Britta. I did not realize. What do you suppose I do with it? I simply refuse to let this dress go waste!"

I looked around my chambers, thinking about who this dress could go to. I was still getting to know everyone, Ingrid was the only one I knew well, I had no clue who to give this dress to.

"Hmmm....perchance one of you are getting married soon? Or know someone that is?" I asked the two other girls in the room.

Their eyes widened, bulging from their heads at my words, like they could not believe the opportunity I was offering. The dark haired girl blanched and seemed to suddenly go into a dreamy daze, her eyes glazing over with some strange emotion. The other, with a light-skinned complexion with a shock of red hair, nearly giggled with glee and almost seemed to dance where she stood. Her gaze shot to her friend who still seemed to be out of it.

"Helga! Say something!" She urged.

Helga blinked, finally coming out of her stupor. She blushed as she finally realized all of our attention was on her.

"Is it you? Are you planning to be married soon?" I asked with a small smile.

She nodded, her straight black hair bouncing. "Ja, within a fortnight."

"And you are in need of a dress? A wedding dress?" I pried, taking a step forward towards the timid girl.

She nodded once more.

I beamed with happiness. "Perfect! We can change a few parts of the dress to ensure it becomes yours fully, I assume that can be done, Laila?"

The older woman quickly rid of her shocked expression before a confident smirk grew on her slightly wrinkled face. "Of course! We would have to change the colors of the belt to something else, only you are allowed to wear clan colors on your wedding day, Britta."

I nodded. 'Twas understandable. Suddenly, an idea sparked my mind.

"What is your favorite color, Helga? If you do not mind me asking," I asked with a genuine smile.

The girl paused, thinking hard before a bright smile lit up her face and a blush rose to her cheeks. "Dark blue."

The other girl giggled at her friend's response. "Of course! He has such beautiful eyes, great idea Helga!"

Helga shushed her friend. "Anette!"

I smiled, delight and peace of mind flowing through me to be able to give such a lovely dress to someone less fortunate. Leaving a dress such as this to sit and collect dust would make me feel a twinge of guilt but now, all was good.

My decision was made. "Then, Helga, Laila shall put a dark blue sash around the waist instead of the black and gold, then you shall wear this for your wedding to your husband!" I clapped my hands together with excitement.

"Oh, Britta, I could not possibly take this! We are here for your wedding, not mine." Helga protested weakly.

I waved her off. "Nonsense. I have time to plan, you do not. Take it, as a gift from me and the Jarl."

Tears escaped her eyes as she sobbed in happiness. "Thank you, thank you! You do not know how much this means to me," Her hands covered her wet face as she sat down on the floor, her shoulders shaking with the strong emotions. Anette knelt to comfort her.

I inhaled deeply before smiling. "Speaking of our Jarl, I need to speak to him really quick. I shall not be very long." I flitted out of my chambers before any protests could fall onto my ears.

I knew Aderick had an important meeting with his men, I could not remember about exactly 'twas about but I hurried down the hall to his 'war room' as he liked to call it. The room was large enough hold meetings for numerous people and had weapons decorating the walls along with furs and fabrics from other raided countries.

I wanted to suggest, or more so inform him that we were going to host Helga's wedding here in the manor, with a large feast for everyone and dancing.

I had a feeling he would protest, as Helga was not a person of high rank and common folk usually never had extravagant weddings, yet I knew in my heart I had to do this. To covet the riches bestowed as a Jarl's wife was not something I planned to do - but instead, I wanted to help others and give our surplus items to those who needed it. Mamma always did this for our clan, it kept our people happy. To make the people within the Dahlsten clan as happy as my parents did for their own clan was my goal as the Jarl's wife.

I wanted to give this young woman a wedding that she dreamed of as a little one, and I hoped to make that possible with Aderick's blessing.

I slowed my hurried steps as I heard a low-pitched voice creeping out from under the door as I stopped in front of the war room.

I swallowed hard before wiping my suddenly sweaty hands along my dark skirt. I raised a fist in the air to knock, but Aderick's furious tone made me freeze.

"You mean to tell me that Marit has been missing for several days, and no one decided to let me know? Are you down in the head? Do you realize the personal vendetta she has against Britta now that we are together and we are to be married soon? That fucking bitch could do damage to not only my relationship with Britta but within our clan. I want her found immediately, send scouts out to the forest and around the mountains to see where she went."

I leaned an ear close towards the door, now desperate to hear what the other voice had to say.

A loud roar from Aderick erupted in the room, and I clutched my chest to soothe my thundering heart as I jumped.

My mind raced to understand the small part of conversation that I heard. Marit was gone? Did she just up and leave? How was this possible? Even I had not been notified by anyone, as the head woman of the Dahlsten manor I oversaw most of the work done in the manor, including the food. At least the person in charge of the thralls let me know of any issues, absences or any other part of the work inside the manor. How did anyone not notice that she was gone?

As soon as I heard more voices, I shook my head to pay attention. There was a pregnant pause before Aderick boomed, "Go find her!"

A small squeak left me as the door swung open to reveal Balder, Ivar, Trond, and Ragnar about to step foot out the door with more men were just behind them. I seemed to be made of stone, my body not moving as I was caught, my eyes widening in surprise and horror. The group in front froze as they saw me, looking worried and apprehensive at their task before them. I only seemed to make things more complicated as they realized what I had heard.

I suddenly wanted to groan with the humiliation coursing through me but I was completely still.

I shoved down a wave of dread as I had a feeling he would be upset that I was eavesdropping. Balder's eyes held a tinge of regret and pity before he finally skirted around and away from me and out of the doorway, the rest of the men following his path.

Once everyone was gone, I slowly looked up to see blazing black eyes looking down at me from the threshold. I gulped, smiling weakly at him.

"Why were you hiding behind the door and listening like a sneak?" Aderick demanded, pulling me further into the room by my wrist.

I winced at his tight grip and he immediately released his hold. Instead of letting go, he bent down and placed a small kiss on my hand before releasing it.

"I did not mean to overhear, Aderick, I wanted to tell you something and I did not mean to upset you," I murmured. A thought crossed my mind, and I had to shove down the flickering flames of anger as they began to rise.

"Were you planning on telling me about this?" I asked, keeping my gaze trained on his, those sharp eyes unnerving.

The black swirling orbs flickered with so many emotions that it was hard to identify what he was thinking. His face remained impassive and I knew he was weighing the options of his response.

Finally, after several moments of silence, he said, "Nei."

I let out a breath and closed my eyes tightly. Why was he not telling me anything? Did he not trust me? 'Twas liked we would take great steps in making our relationship stronger, but he would say things to make us retract and go backward. Hurt spread quickly throughout my body at the fact that he did not trust me, making the urge to cry great, yet I held it in.

I inwardly swore at the man in front of me. I clenched my teeth, keeping my smart retort in my mouth and repressing the urge to yell at him. I was trying my hardest not to let my temper get the best of me nor my mouth, yet 'twas so hard when the man I was falling for acted like I was a total stranger. Like I was not involved. Or perchance a nuisance, when I was truly in the heart of it. The least he could do was tell me what the situation was and how he was handling it, that is all I was asking for.

Is that too much for a woman to ask of her future husband?

I growled under my breath before swiveling on my heel and marching toward the door. If he did not want to tell me, fine, I shall hunt down one of the twins or even Ragnar to tell me everything. I wished Aderick would trust me, but no, he had to keep it a secret from me. I felt as though I was exposing myself to him, layer by layer, and he would do the same as well before he would go and pull this on me. I did not want to keep laying myself bare before him to then have him shut me out like I was a child - like my mind was not mature enough to handle clan issues.

I wanted to pull my hair out, shriek out into the open air and then kick something. Hard.

I vaguely heard him saying my name but I simply raised a hand, ignoring him and I continued to walk down the hall.

I marched furiously back towards my chambers, slamming the doors shut with a loud bang, needing to calm down before I left the chambers once more. All but Ingrid jumped, more than likely used to Aderick and I's small fights that would have me slamming doors.

A smirk crossed her delicate features and I nearly snarled at her amusement.

Not a word was said as I determinedly proceeded to walk over to the small pitcher of ale that was next to the platter of food, pouring a generous amount of the drink into a cup before chugging it down. I poured another cup then swallowed the rest in one whole gulp. Never before had I turned to drink when I was angry, but I supposed there was a first for everything.

I shuddered at the surprisingly bitter taste, my nose wrinkling. The ale Aderick produced was sweet, as honey was one of the main ingredients. Nothing like this.

"Aderick being an ass again?" Ingrid drawled, carefully watching me.

I rolled my eyes. "Of course," I grumbled.

My belly twisted and churned in a painful way. Blanching at the abrupt change, I pressed my hand to my stomach. I frowned as my body began to feel weak and limber, the grip on the cup weakening by the second. My breathing became labored as nausea all of a sudden hit me like an unnatural force.

I dropped the cup and groaned, bending over at my waist, curling my arms around my body. The swift yet powerful ache in my stomach was too much for me to stand as I collapsed. My heart pumped loudly, blocking out any other noise by its thundering beat. My head without warning grew light and fuzzy, and I could no longer focus on Ingrid's voice asking me what was wrong. I gasped for breath, wanting air to pull in my throbbing frame.

I squeezed my eyes shut and moaned at the pain. I could feel the black threads of unconsciousness coming for me, and I tried to make my eyes peel themselves open. But they refused. It felt as though I no longer had control over my body, the shakes and waves of nauseated pain too much, too overwhelming.

Just before my eyes rolled to the back of my head and I succumbed to the darkness, I heard Ingrid's loud scream;

"ADERICK!"

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