《Remember Me》XI

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THE DOOR SWUNG OPEN, allowing Toryn to greet Samir at the front door with slightly red misty eyes. She sniffled and opened the door wider for him to step inside. As soon as she closed the door, she jogged back up the stairs to her bedroom.

Samir furrowed his eyebrows, but took his shoes off by the door. He then slowly walked up the stairs behind her, thinking that was invitation to come up. They've been texting back and forth for a couple of months and Toryn was finally comfortable enough to let him come to her house. It was a bit of a bold move for her, but she wasn't too unprepared; she had a pocketknife wrapped in tissue under one of her pillows in case she was in danger.

Samir stood by the door, holding a black plastic bag with a medium sized brown paper bag inside. He looked around her room noticing the setup. White walls and bubble gum pink carpet. Toryn didn't strike him as the deep girly girl type. Posters and colorful girly portraits of flowers or families under the sun set were up on her walls.

Toryn plopped down on her bed, going back to the homework she had been doing before Samir rang the bell. He cleared his throat, making Toryn look up at him. "Uh...you okay? Did I come at a wrong time?" He turned back to her open bedroom door, "I can just—"

"No it's okay, I was just watching this talk show earlier and it started getting to me. This guy had a new girlfriend and he was bragging to the audience about abusing her. He was like 'I hit it, oh you should see me, I be hitting it all the time,' I hate his world. Who feels happy about hurting someone?"

Samir pressed his lips into a thin line to try and stifle his laugh, but Toryn still heard him. She looked over at him from on the bed, crossing her arms over herself and narrowing her eyes in disbelief. "Are you serious? You think someone hurting someone their suppose to love is funny?"

Samir couldn't help the little laugh that escaped his lips. "Toryn are you serious?"

Toryn had never been so appalled before. Maybe inviting him over was a bad idea. She clenched her fists and held her head high. "You were really nice the last time but now your not. If you think abuse if funny then we can't hang out...and I think you should leave."

"Toryn, sweetheart. When someone says they hit it, their just referring to sex. The guy meant that he fucks her. Not that he physically harms her. It's just a phrase."

Toryn felt really embarrassed, she immediately looked away and back down at her homework. She was so stupid, maybe she should have looked some stuff up online so she could speak more like the normal teenagers did.

"May I?" Samir asked, pointing inside her room.

Toryn quickly nodded her head and Samir stepped inside.

"Feel free to close my door, I have the air conditioner on. It'll keep the cool air inside." Toryn said.

Samir closed the door and travelled over to her vanity, resting his thin sweater on top. He walked over to her and pulled a brown paper bag of Dunkin' Donuts out. "Do you want a bagel? I have one cinnamon raisin bagel with cream cheese and a plain bagel with cream cheese."

Toryn just looked at the bag then at him, silently fingering her pendant. After a moment Samir slowly brought the bag down to his side then sucked his teeth at himself. He winced, "Sorry, you probably don't eat Dunkin' Donuts, huh? I should have called first and asked what you wanted. I'm always doing stupid shit."

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Toryn put her hand out, "Oh no no no, I'm flattered, it's just that I'm surprised you brought something for me is all. That was very nice of you."

Samir smiled, fixing the Nike cap on his head. It matched his all white ensemble. A white wife beater with white sweatpants and his white Vans downstairs. Samir smiled and removed one of her pillows, sitting next to her. Toryn folded her legs so she was sitting Indian style as she dug into the bag and picked out the raisin bagel. She noticed an orange juice and an apple juice and took the orange juice out.

"Are one of these beverages for me?" She gasped.

"For you." Samir whispered with a chuckle.

Toryn squealed and opened the cap, taking a sip. Samir looked at her, now noticing her really baggy sweatpants and big short sleeve t-shirt. The clothes were clearly not her's. Her hair was in a ponytail which seemed to be the only style she ever put her hair in. He watched her playing with that same half heart pendant he always saw her with while she read a paper on her bed. She was mumbling and grumbling things to herself.

"Need some help?" Samir asked, licking his plump lips. He wondered if he kissed her how she would react. He wouldn't dare though, he didn't want to come off creepy and scare her. He just liked teasing her.

Toryn looked at him, her eyes like saucers. "Oh...no I don't think you can help me. I did my History, Math, English and now I'm on the last worksheet," she picked it up, scanning it for the hundredth time. "I've been stuck on this for like an hour. It's homework for my advanced psychology class. It's a critical thinking lesson but like, it's almost impossible to get."

Samir nodded his head, "You in advanced psychology? Okay, look at you. So you wanna be a psychologist?"

"Mm hm," Toryn chirped, "I'm taking my first college course for it by doing this advanced class."

"Word? Aight...so tell me what I'm thinking." Samir said.

Toryn laughed and looked down making her glasses slide off her face. They fell somewhere in her massive pile of school work and she squinted her eyes, trying to find them. Her eyes were so bad she hadn't even spotted them sitting two feet away from her. Samir reached forward and got them, gently placing them back on her face.

Toryn cleared her throat, "Thank you," she looked away, "But I'm not a mind reader, I said I'm a psychologist to be."

Samir twisted his lips to the side. "Mm hm, you know you suck that's why you couldn't figure out what I was thinking."

Toryn laughed.

"Nah I'm playing, I'll ask a better question before I leave."

"Okay," Toryn said. It was quiet again as she returned to her work. She bit her bottom lip, her brain frying in her head. She didn't even have any friends she could call, and Takashi was not in psychology. Plus everyone who was in class with her didn't even understand the paper themselves. Toryn would literally cry if her grade dropped. It was due tomorrow and she was so lost it wasn't even funny.

Samir watched her huff so he moved in closer, getting on the bed fully as he sat next to her. Instead of sitting Indian style like her, he sat against the headboard and let his feet stretch out across the mattress. He took the paper out of Toryn's hand and read it.

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Professor Lawrence

Psychology 101

Critical Thinking

Professor: "If your sister is getting beat up in a fight, would you help?"

Student A: "That's my sister, of course, I love her."

Student B: "I love her, that's my sister, of course."

One of these sentences are robotically stated out of the constant practice of society and the other sentence has true reason. Which student shows true reasoning by their words and why.

Samir looked away from the sheet and at Toryn. Toryn sighed, her small bottom lip poking out. The sinister thoughts that invaded his mind took him by surprise. The puppy dog face she was making was driving him crazy on the inside, but he kept his composure.

"Do you see what I mean? He wants us to choose an answer but both people are literally saying the exact same thing. The sentences are just switched around. Same exact words, same amount of words—the sentence just starts different. So how can one of them have a real reason when they both said exactly the same thing? Maybe that's the answer right? Maybe he wants us to think there's an answer but the answer is that there is no answer, because they both answered the same." Toryn said.

"No not really sweetheart," Samir said, handing her paper back. "The correct answer is student B."

Toryn looked at her paper then back at Samir with a confused look on her face.

Samir ran a hand down his face. "Okay, it's like this...peep what's being asked. If your sister gets into a fight would you help. Then the bottom part asks you to figure out which person said what they said because they meant it. And which person said what they said because that's how people are use to talking without realizing it. Well, if you really think about it, the person who has a reason for what they said would be the second person."

Toryn was truly confused, "Yeah but how?"

"Because if someone asks you if you would jump into a fight and you respond by saying yes because I love that person. You gave me a reason. Student A said he would jump in because it's his sister, but that's not really a reason. By saying that it sounds like that person is saying that's the only reason they would help, because their related and he has no choice but to help. But student B let it be known he would help because he loves the person. Yes he also let it be known it was his sister; but he said that afterward. But the first person made it known off the bat, which makes it sound like he's only helping on some he has no other choice type shit, do you get it?"

Toryn was amazed, now that she thought about it, she saw what he meant. In under a minute he had solved an advanced psychology sheet that not even she could. And she was always getting excellent grades in class. The fact that he had smarts made her into him even more. It still nagged her a bit that someone so handsome could be into her. She had to wonder what he wanted.

Toryn began to write down her answer while Samir just stared. He noticed she played with her heart pendant a lot. She had it in her hand since he walked through the door. She had it in one hand while she wrote with the other. He studied her. Her neck was long and slender like her fingers, that were decorated in a fresh coat of yellow nail polish. He looked at her worksheet and let her write in silence as he stared at her neat cursive handwriting.

"Done!" Toryn said after a few minutes. When she showed him the paper it was a half a page response. She began to pack all of her homework up while she hummed to herself.

"You don't get bored by yourself? Living here I mean. Your already so shy and quiet and you have no siblings."

Toryn just shook her head from side to side, "I actually don't live over here. I use to, though. I just brought you over here because I know we wouldn't get caught. I live with my best friend, so I'm okay."

Samir gave her a playful stink face, looking her up and down. "Ya best friend, that kid that was drunk at the party, right? The one that came to walk you home from the bookstore yesterday?"

Toryn had to quickly sweep her mental rolodex to realize what he was talking about. "Yeah, he said he's sorry about that outburst at the party he had. He's not usually like that."

Samir didn't say anything. "Those his clothes?"

Toryn looked down at herself like she had to double check. She didn't even remember she had them on. It was just a habit, it was nothing. It was like causal things to wear in the house so she put them on. He left some things over here from the times he use to sneak through her window at night and sleep over. Samir's eyes must have been really good for him to detect that.

"Yeah..." Toryn shrugged, "there just for me to wear in the house and stuff."

Samir rose both his eyebrows in amusement. Toryn felt like the atmosphere had taken a slight turn. She felt like he was mad for some reason or taken by surprise. He probably thought she was some undercover slut who messed around with her best friend and then tried to play the innocent role to other people. She did fool around with Takashi but they didn't had sex or anything. Toryn could tell Samir was starting to think differently of her.

"So if I give you my clothes to wear in the house would you?" He questioned.

"Umm..." Toryn uttered, her heart beating wildly. This was the first time she wanted Davina to come home and interrupt.

Samir put his hand on her shoulder and winked, showing off his long, curly eyelashes. "I'm playing. You gotta start learning how to snap back at people girl. I should teach you."

Toryn quickly shook her head, "No thank you. I don't like being mean."

Samir looked at her and she looked at him. He just stared, so hard that Toryn felt her heart skip a beat. She should have invited him in a more open space with people around. This wasn't Takashi, they didn't have the kind of relationship where they could just come up with things to say or do and it wouldn't be weird. It seemed like her and Samir were having an awkward moment every three seconds.

"Bathroom break." Toryn suddenly said, getting off the bed.

"Huh?" Samir said.

"No I was saying, I-I'm going to the b-bathroom."

"Yeah, but you're not at school or anything. It's your house so you don't have to say bathroom break. You can just say bathroom." Samir smiled, that had to be the nerdiest shit she's said.

Toryn nodded her head firmly. "Bathroom. Right. Okay." She cleared her throat and quickly scurried off, tripping on something on her way out. Samir shook his head and listened to the bathroom door click shut from across the hall.

He got off the bed and stretched, then put his hands in his pockets. The colors in her room were almost hurting his head. He began whistling as he slowly walked around. She wasn't super neat but her room was clean. He picked up a picture of a very tall and skinny man. He was in the picture by himself. He wondered if that was her father that died in the army. The man did have on an army uniform. He placed it back down and walked off.

Across the room Samir came across one of those multi-colored disco ball lights. She had a bunch of sticky notes posted all over her vanity but he didn't bother to read any. The handwriting was very tiny. Samir looked down, coming across a plain black and white notebook. He remembered her saying she liked to read and write in her spare time. So he picked up her book knowing she would be too shy to let him read her work.

Just as he was about to open the notebook, it was snatched out of his hand with such force, his eyebrows rose in surprise as he immediately looked to see who had took it. Toryn stood in front of him with slightly watery eyes, clutching the notebook to her chest like it was her heart.

"I need you to leave."

Samir was surprised so he stood there with nothing to say.

"Please go, I shouldn't have asked you to come here. It was a mistake. I don't know what I was thinking. This was dumb, I'm dumb, this whole lying to Laura thing is crazy. I'm gonna get into so much trouble. She's gonna ship me away to the institute. And—"

Samir was taken aback by her behavior. He took a step forward with concern laced all over his face. "Toryn I—"

She took a step back, shutting her eyes. "Please go! Please..." Toryn mumbled, feeling the tears stinging her eyes. She didn't know if he saw anything in her notebook and she was embarrassed. If he did, she knew it was over for her.

Samir was dumbfounded, he'd never seen her act like this before. He watched how hard she clutched the book and it secretly made him wonder what was in it. "Toryn if this is about the notebook I didn't see anything, I promise. It was just sitting there so I picked it up."

Toryn's black and white notebook contained more memories than she could ever hold in her head. It's how she remembered certain things. She wrote them down. It's how she remembered Takashi cursing her out at the party months ago...it's how she remembered the way her father died...it's how she remembered his mean friend Tink...how she memorized Samir... and even how she kept in touch with the fact she was a schizophrenic girl with memory loss.

Not even Takashi knew about the book. It was private to her. A lot of things were still missing from it, because her memory was so bad she didn't even always remember to write things down; but there was enough information to keep her functioning on a daily basis. But it was also enough information to push Samir away from her once he discovered how crazy she was.

Samir put his hands up, clearly apologetic. "I'm sorry, I didn't know you would feel some type of way about me reading your stories."

"Yes you did, because you waited until I left the room! You were snooping!"

"Because you're shy. I didn't think you would let me openly read it so I was just trying to see what your writing was like. You told me you like to read and write in your spare time so I was just gonna glance at one of your stories. I'm sorry, Toryn."

Toryn never remembered telling him that, but maybe she did. She walked toward her bed and stuffed the notebook under the pillow. She began to gather all her papers together, to put back in her book bag. The room became silent and Samir was a little confused on what to do. She hadn't told him to leave again, but she wasn't exactly saying anything so he didn't know if she forgave him.

Toryn heard footsteps coming her way. She ignored Samir who sat on the bed. He tried to help her get all her work together but she quickly grabbed her papers out his hand, wiping her eyes. Samir knew she was a really fragile and soft person, but not like this. It was starting to make him wonder if something was wrong with her. And more importantly, he was becoming a little concerned with what may actually be in her book. No one reacted like that over someone reading their work. No one.

He furrowed his eyebrows, "Toryn I'm sorry..."

She didn't say anything. She neatly placed all the papers in her green folder and put it in her back pack. Samir grabbed her wrist before she could walk away causing her to jump a little. She didn't look at him. Instead she focused her attention on her pink carpet, fiddling with her pendant.

"Toryn...what could be so bad that you don't want me to see?" Samir questioned softly. He knew he could easily get the notebook from Toryn if he wanted too, but he would never do that.

Samir even found himself surprised by how he was acting. Not so long ago he had told himself he would never want to be with Toryn. She was just someone to be nice to because no one else was. She was an average looking chick. Skinny. Tall. Shoulder length hair. Average facial features.

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