There are times in your life where you just sit and wonder:

Why?

It could be minutes, hours or even days where you just stare at the ceiling, asking yourself why.

And this is one of those days.

I didn't expect Noelle to meet Axel this early on. To be completely honest, I was scared to show her my beast side since Axel isn't the friendliest person. To put it simply, he's barbaric and brutal. Don't get me wrong, I am too, but I'd never show that side in front of my Noelle. Never. Whereas he on the other hand, would do it with zero hesitation.

But she does not fear my beast.

Yet again, she's seen the ruthless side of me but she isn't afraid.

She's just confused, and that is understandable. After being locked up for 10 years, Noelle is bound to be oblivious to the way vampires are, especially since she was surrounded by those dirty dogs.

I can not put it into words how terrible I feel, and how disgusted I am with myself. Allowing my brain to trick me into touching other women was the biggest mistake of my life. I ruined any and every special first I'd get to experience with my angel and there's no going back. This is the consequences I have to face for my own actions.

The looks of hurt on her perfect face absolutely shattered me. I was dreading the question but knew we'd have to tell her at one point. I wouldn't have been able to function if I kept my sexual acts a secret from the one person who matters most to me, even if that meant breaking mine, and her heart in the process. I refuse to keep her in the dark.

My heart felt like it had been torn into two pieces, but who am I to be saddened by this? It's her feeling which matter the most at this very moment, and ever moment to ever come.

She's only been here for a day and a half, and I've already f*cked things up with Noelle. Typical Easton, always has to go and ruin everything he touches. Who knows if she'll even trust me after this? I am the one she put all her faith in, I am the one she's been loyal too, I am the one she dreamt about daily, I am the one she clung onto whenever she was scared, I am the one she spilled her secrets to, I am the holder of her heart, and I betrayed her like she was nothing, when in reality, Noelle is everything to me.

Call me dramatic, but I can not stand the thought of Noelle not trusting me anymore, or her being scared, or angry at me. I can't bear it.

"Are you... angry at him?", Axels voice brought me out of my thoughts and I eagerly listened, hoping to hear her sweet voice instead. She sighed and there was a long pause.

Please say no

"I-I don't know", she said and it was my turn to sigh. I don't blame her, but there's a part of me that wishes she'd look past it.

"If he were to take back control right now, what would you say?", he quarrelled, clearly worried for me. Axel can feel everything that I'm feeling, and he can detect my stress from a mile away, which explains why he's asking such questions.

"I don't really know how to be mad at people", she spoke so quickly I almost missed it. Axel couldn't help but chuckle.

That's my Noelle, doesn't know how to be 'rude', as she would put it.

"You're just too sweet, babydoll. You don't have to be nice to Easton, after all, he did basically cheat on you."

What is this motherf*cker doing? He's meant to be backing me up, not turning her against me ever more. I could practically smell the mischief in his voice, he's obviously doing it to piss me off.

F*ck you Axel, I spoke through our link.

It's what you get for hurting my angel, he responded.

OUR angel, she's not just yours, I spat out angrily, and he chuckled at me.

"He didn't cheat on me, Axel, that's not fair to say. We weren't together at the time, and he thought I was dead. I was too far away from you two so he couldn't feel a connection, and neither could you. We all have different ways of coping, this doesn't mean I will excuse his.... provocative way of handling the situation, but I have to see it from his perspective. I'm not forgiving him this easily, but I'm also not angry at Easton. I'm an understand person, Axel, I don't jump to conclusion, especially not when I haven't even heard his side of the story. I don't really feel like facing him right now, but I want him to know that I am not mad in the slightest.... just a little hurt", she finished her short speech and I was left with mixed emotions.

Relief - My angel isn't angry at me! She still loves me and isn't judging me for my past actions.

Broken - She's hurt, and it's because of me. Noelle isn't new to pain, she's felt it all her life, but being the cause of it is a whole other story. My love is hurting emotionally because of me, and that is worse than any pain in the world.

She doesn't even want to face me.

I know I've f*cked up, and I will spend the rest of my life making it up to her.

"I'm so sorry to leave so soon, but I've got to go deal with those dogs in the basement", Axel reluctantly says while stroking Noelle's soft cheeks, holding her face in his palms as if she's a fragile diamond. She gave us a little pout, clearly not wanting us to leave but we have no choice.

"Are y-you gonna be there for a while?", she asks warily. I can tell she's worried about us going to the basement, especially after what she saw last time, but she's has no reason to worry.

"Not too long, why? You'll miss me too much?", he teased and she went bright red, making me chuckle.

That smile was enough to make me forget about all the flooding thoughts swimming in my head.

"N-no", she whispered while fiddling with her fingers.

"Oh, no need to lie baby, I can practically read your mind", he said and she shook her head while smiling.

"Now, be a good girl for me and go back downstairs to Trevor and Theo. They'll keep you company while I'm gone."

"You'll come back to me in one piece, right?"

"Always, my love", he said, giving her one last lingering kiss before bidding her a goodbye.

As soon as she left, I took over again , breathing in Noelle's scent that still remained in my office. I instantly felt of wave of calmness rush over me. I know that if Axel went down there instead of me, things won't end well. Like he said before, he's not a rational thinker, especially when it comes to people trying to threaten what's ours. I may be barbaric like him, but I have morals, and know when enough is enough. That's something Axel still struggled to learn.

I walked down to the basement slyly, careful not to run into Noelle, since she doesn't want to face me yet. I want to respect her wishes.

I see Cecelia and her son exactly how I wanted them, shackled to the wall with chains and ropes. They were barely awake. Wow, I knocked them out that badly, oh well.

I slapped the boy to wake him up. He shook uncontrollably while refusing to look at me.

"Don't be scared, your mummy is with you", I teased, laughing at his scared state.

"Oh sorry, she's almost dead, she'll be no help to you", I continued and she let out shriek.

"Have mercy, Easton!"

"It's King Easton to you two", I spat out calmly.

"King Easton! I have a kingdom to look after, and a family! I-I can't be killed!"

"Noelle has a kingdom to look after, and a family too, yet you still want to take her freedom away. Why should I spare yours?", I asked while picking out a weapon.

"I'm s-sorry! It won't happen again! I'll leave your kingdom alone, you'll never see me again", she screamed and cried, I could barely make out what she was saying. The sight made me laugh uncontrollable.

"That is a good offer, never having to see you or your son again, but I have a better idea", I started.