I feel tears prickling at the back of my eyes as I force my feet to walk.

To walk away from him.

I know in my heart, that I can never ever bring myself to actually hate Ryder for anything. But his words shocked me.

And then all of it suddenly came crashing down.

Everything he said before. About him being monster, about him a bad influence and him hurting me, it all clicked.

Was he really all of that?

Was my Ryder really a monster?

It was clear that he was hurting from the inside. It was clear that he regretted what he did. But I needed time. I needed time to get it all sorted out. I needed to clear my head.

So I ran.

And I absolutely hated myself for being like this.

Without giving him a chance to explain properly, I ran because it was getting too much for me.

Then suddenly realization hits me as I stop in my tracks.

A chance to explain properly...

Fuck!

I didn't even give him that!

What if there was more to the story? Something that he didn't have the chance to tell me? What if he was forced to do it?

Shit.

He trusted me and he told me.

And what did I did?

I fucking ran.

The fuck?

I halt in my steps as it becomes clear what I should have done. I should have given him a chance to explain. I should have believed in him. I should have fucking stayed!

I glance around frantically and saw that I'm already standing at the exit of the carnival.

Shit, why the hell did I come so far?

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

I'm so stupid! What the hell is wrong with me? I left him there all alone when he was finally starting to open up to me?

The hell?

In that moment, I make my decision right there and run.

But this time, not away from him. But towards him.

I messed up big time and now I must fix it.

I just hope that I'm not too late.

Dim lights twinkle from both of my sides as I swerve my way around the masses of stalls. Pushing my feet forward, I ran. People turn their heads to look at me weirdly as I ran through the crowd like a mad woman.

Shit, I'm such an idiot. How can I be such an idiot?

"Excuse me!" I hurriedly apologize as I crash shove someone away from my path.

The teenage girl yells at me from behind but I don't have the luxury to stop and apologize.

I slow my pace down to a jog as I reach the clearing we were lying on.

As I remember the moment, something claws at my chest painfully

It was such an amazing moment but because of my stupidity I'm not sure if I'll have it ever again.

"Ryder?" I call out as my eyes frantically look around searching for him, "Ryder?"

But he's not here.

********

I slowly drag my feet beneath me as I walk like a zombie. The streets are slowly becoming quieter by each passing minute as it's already 10 pm. I sigh tiredly as I lean on a lamppost to support my weight.

I'm too exhausted to even think let alone walk.

I had searched the entire carnival for hours. People kept throwing me weird looks as I ran around, poking my head in every stall and tent.

Nothing.

No trace of him.

I can always apologize to him on Monday, right? After all I'm going to see him at school.

...Right?

No, Monday is too far away. I need to see him now. I need to apologize to him for being such an ass. I need to hear his full story and then I need to kiss him to show that I'm never leaving him again.

And yes, I'm very very impatient.

With renewed energy, I develop a plan and straighten myself. He has obviously gone home, right?

I fasten my pace at the direction oh his house. I try not to think much about his reaction when I appear out of nowhere at his doorstep after I told him to stay away.

It takes about fifteen minutes for me to walk to his neighbourhood. My feet are hurting badly from walking so much but I try to shrug it away.

Comparing to the amount I hurt him, this is nothing.

I breath a sigh of relief as I spot his house. The lights are still on so that means he must be home right?

Pressing the doorbell, I wait nervously. I have no idea what I'm going to say to him.

What if he's mad at me?

Of course he's mad, you imbecile! Didn't you see how hard his eyes were?

What if he hates me?

Well, I wouldn't blame him.

You know you could sometimes help me a little!

No one came so I decide to knock. Raising the back of my hand I go to knock but I realize that the door is already left ajar.

"What the hell?" I push open the door confused, half expecting a newspaper to smack me this time too.

But nothing.

The house is eerily quite as I step inside. Light from the living room is seeping throughout the corridor making it look creepy instead of lightening it up.

I take a gulp of breath, "Ryder? Are you here?"

The sound of my footsteps echo through the quiet night as I slowly make my way towards the source of the light.

"Carla?" my voice shakes slightly as fear grips me slightly.

Something feels very wrong in here.

I steady myself and take a deep breath. There's a chance that Ryder hasn't come at home yet. Maybe he's lounging around somewhere else.

But Carla has to be here. It's her house and it's almost 11 pm. Where will she go at this time?

What if she's hurt or something?

I lick my dried lips and slowly enter the living room. Putting my hand on the doorframe, I glance around the dimly lit room. Everything seem to be in it's place.

"Carla?" I call out once again.

No answer.

Maybe I'm just being paranoid and she's out at some party or something. Who says old ladies can't sway their hips?

Just to be sure, I decide to check out the other rooms too. But as soon as I take a step back, I feel a cold metal pressed against my back.

I didn't have to be a genius to realize that it's the barrel of a gun.

"Ssh, don't take one step back sweetheart," a male voice speaks from behind me as his breath fans my neck, "If you don't want that pretty heart of yours splattered all over the floor that is."

*****

I groan annoyed as the doorbell rings for the fifteenth time this minute.

Throwing the covers off my body, I get up sighing.

"Baby," Stella rubs her eyes tiredly as she gets up too causing the sheets around her shoulder to drop revealing a mouth watering sight, "Where are you going?"

"Someone's at the door," I reply smirking at her sight, "I'll be back in a minute and then we can have another round."

Sleep instantly vanishes her eyes as they darken with lust, "I'll be waiting."

That's what every girl's reaction was to me.

Every girl other than her.

Chloe fucking Stone.

Throwing a shirt around me, I walk out of my huge king size room and down the exquisite corridor. Taking long strides through the maze of my three story mansion, I reach the wide double doors.

You must be wondering that if it was such s big house, why didn't we have servants to open the door?

We do have them. Three of them actually but I had given them the day off to have a special evening-night-morning with Stella.

No, she's not my girlfriend.

And yes, I'm a man whore.

After I check the security camera footage, my eyes widen as I realize that the person standing at my doorstep at 10 pm is none other than Carla, Ryder's mom.

"The fuck?" I mutter confused as I hurry to open the doors.

Carla stands there with disheveled hair as she pants slightly, "Finally! Do you know how long I have been standing here?"

"I'm so sorry!" I apologize fervently as I lead the petite woman inside, "I was...busy."

"Doing what?" she rolls her eyes, "Sorry, let me rephrase that. Doing who?"

I give her a sheepish smile but don't see the point of denying it. This warm funny lady is like a mother to me. More motherly than my own mother at least.

I pour a glass of water and hand it to her. Judging from the long breaths she's taking she really needs it.

I sense that there's something serious going on but instead of asking her I just quietly sit across from her on the plush sofa. She didn't come here if she had nothing to say.

After she finishes gulping down the water, she straightens her back and looks at me calmly.

"We need to stop Ryder," she said calmly but seriously.

"Stop Ryder?" I ask confused, "From doing what?"

"From leaving...again," for the first time this night, fear slips into her strong voice.

"What?" I ask astonished as I abruptly stood up clenching my fists on both of my sides, "That idiot wants to leave again?"

She bites her lip, "Ten minutes ago I got a voice mail from him saying that he was leaving for New York the first flight tomorrow. Andrew...you have to stop him. He can't keep running all the time! It'll break him completely this time!"

I grit my teeth as the information sinks into me.

Two years ago, after the incident happened, we got a hell lot of enemies after our back. In order to make sure that they didn't hurt any of our families, we both decided that it was best for us to leave.

After two years, when we finally thought that the fire had burned down, we decided to return.

Boy were we wrong.

No sooner had we returned, different gangs started to surface. And then there's Celia. I still don't trust that girl one percent but she had informed of us of a potential threat.

But still Ryder and I had decided that we wouldn't run again. That this time we'd stay and fight. Since we had many of our old friends with us too.

But if you ask me, I'd say he wanted to stay because of Lisa.

God, was that guy whipped.

If so, then why the hell this sudden change has he made this sudden change of plans?

I grab my car keys and drape a jacket over myself quickly.

"Where the hell are you going now?" Carla shouts from behind me as I rush out of the door.

"I'm going to go find him," I shout back at her as I slip outside, "Stay here oh and a angry half naked girl is going to come down soon. So be careful."

Before she can give me an earful, I hop in my car and start the engine.

The sound of my phone ringing halts me.

"Hello?" I ask not checking the caller id as I swerve my car onto the street.

"Andrew!" Sam's voice booms through the phone making me wince.

Shit. I really should have checked the caller id.

"Hey Sam," I chuckle nervously. Yes, she's a good friend of mine but she always scares the hell out of me, "I'd love to talk but I'm a little busy right now-"

"Shut the fuck up!" she yells, "I think Lisa has been kidnapped by The Hounds!"

I slam my foot on the break so hard that I almost hit my head on the windshield.

"What the hell did you say?" I ask astonished.

"Are you deaf?" she yells making me wince again.

No, but you're surely going to make me.

"She has been kidnapped by The Hounds gang!" her voice rises with anger, "The Hounds! Tell me you remember the gang that is responsible for killing Aaron!"

Unwanted memories fill me as the words sink in.

"Of course I remember those bloody bastards," I grit my teeth, "The bastards that won't leave us. The motherfuckers that are still trailing after us."

"I know!" she growls frustrated, "But I have no idea why would they take Lisa!"

I think about it for a while before it clicks, "To hurt Ryder!"

She quiets down, "Oh?"

"Um..yeah?"

"I'M FUCKING GOING TO KILL HIM! BECAUSE OF HIM MY BEST FRIEND IS-"

I hold the phone away from my ear until she calms down.

"You done?" I ask in a bored voice.

She clears her throat, "Yup, so what are we going to do now?"

"Obviously we have to get her out," I say in a 'duh' tone. Lisa is a really good friend of mine, almost like a sister and I would hate myself if something happens to her because of some mistakes we made, "But first we need to find Ryder. It seems he's going to leave again."

I hold the phone away from my ear again as I already know what's going to happen.

"I'M GOING TO KILL THAT MOTHERFUCKING BASTARD! I'M GONNA PUNT HIM AND SKIN HIM ALIVE!"

"You done?"

"Yup," she clears her throat, "First pick me and Mason up -"

"I'm not picking up some random prostitute you picked for the night!"

"Shut up!" she yells at me again, "Mason's not.... we're not..shut up! Just do what I say!"

I grimace, "Fine."

"Okay, so first pick us up," she continues as her tone changing to thoughtful, "And then we're going to find that bastard and drag his sorry ass back to The Hounds main base. After that we're going to bust Lisa out."

"It's not a James Bond movie," I say in a bored voice, "How are we going to get in there while avoiding the patrols? Not to mention we have no weapons right now. You're plan seriously sucks."

"At least I have a plan," is her oh-so-brilliant comeback.

Rolling my eyes I sigh, "Whatever. Where are you guys?"

After I note down the address, I go to hang up but suddenly a thought snaps me out of my reverie.

"Wait, wait!" I yell into the phone.

"What?" she asks annoyed.

"How did they find out about Lisa?" I ask dreading the answer.

She goes quiet.

"Sam?"

"Sam answer me! Please tell me that it's not true."

"I'm sorry... but I think it is," she says, her voice low with anger, "Ryder and Lisa aren't officially dating so only our close friends can see what they mean to each other. That it would break Ryder completely if something happens to Lisa."

"So..." I trail off trying not to believe it though her words made perfect sense.

"Yes," her voice turns cold, "I believe one of our friends has betrayed us. And I have an idea about who it is."

Oh.

I don't want to believe it. That one of our trusted friends would betray us like this.

If an enemy hurts you, it's okay. Because you already expect them to.

But when a friend, the person you love and trust, hurts you?

Hah.

"Who?" my voice sounds defeated as I clench my fists.

"We don't have time for that," Sam says curtly, "Hurry the hell up."

I nod, my eyes turning cold as I start the car once again.

"Okay, I'm coming."

She hangs up after a while of silence.

I slam my foot down the accelerator as the car gains speed.

And to think, I only wanted a good night's fuck.

Damn.