Let me tell you one thing. Trying to enjoy yourself while having a moody Ryder groaning and glaring at everything you ever point at is not so much fun.

"You just ate a cotton candy!" he says glaring at the ice cream in my hand, "And you're going to eat an ice cream right after?"

"Wrong," I smirked and handed him an ice cream too, "We're going to eat an ice cream right after."

He glares at the ice creams in my hand with so much hatred you'd think they're his ex-wives who got the entire house in divorce.

I scowl at him, "You can mess with me but you can't mess with my ice cream, dude."

He reluctantly takes the ice cream I was holding out for him and sighs frustrated, "What is this thing? It's all pink and it's sparkling! What kind of ice cream sparkles?"

I huff, "Just try it."

Hesitantly he brings the ice cream to his lips.

Uh oh. Yeah, I didn't think it that far.

I gulp as I watch him part his lips. It's taking all I have to not grab a fistful of his hair and slam his lips onto mine.

I'm sure I'm drooling.

Man, I never thought that there will come a day when I'll be jealous of ice cream.

Suddenly he stops midway and shoves the ice cream into my hand, "No way. I can't eat that glittery thing!"

I snap out of my trance and clear my throat, "Y-you didn't even take a bite!"

Fortunately. Cause I'm one hundred percent sure I wouldn't be able to control myself then.

He rolls his eyes, "Why don't you just shove glitter down my throat?"

I give him an unimpressed look and walk over to the stall beside it, "Again, don't say something about my ice cream, Woods."

I lean on the counter and ask for some darts.

Yes, guessed right. I'm going to play Throw The Dart.

Ryder sighs and comes to stand beside me, "Oh man, now she's gonna throw darts. And who knows who's head it'll hit?"

I glare at him and shove my half finished ice cream in his hand, "Oh yeah? I'll show you!"

I take the first dart and prepare myself.

Putting one leg before my other one, I squint at the chart and throw.

"Missed," the bulky guy that is in charge if the stall says in a bored voice.

Thanks Captain Obvious.

I throw an annoyed glance at him and pick up the next one.

"Missed," Ryder grins smugly as he leans on the wooden counter.

"Shut up!" I grit my teeth in embarrassment.

I go to pick up the next one but freeze when I hear a unfortunately familiar voice.

"Ry Ry!"

I close my eyes and sigh.

It's okay Lisa. They're just friends. Just friends.

Man, I hate jealousy.

I turn around and plaster a huge grin on my face. An overexcited Karin comes running and throws herself at Ryder, "Oh Em Gee! Ryder! I missed you so much!"

Ryder chuckles and hugs her back, "Me too."

I feel a slight pang in my heart.

He has never hugged me like that.

Karin pulls away but not at a distance that is usually respectable for friends.

But what if they aren't friends?

No.

No, Ryder would've told me.

Right...?

"I never thought you'd be in a place like this!" she squeals and buries her head into his chest.

Ryder laughs and glances in my direction, "Well Allie forcefully dragged me here."

She freezes and slowly lifts her head to look at me, "She did, did she?"

I smile at her, "Nice to see you, Karin."

She gives me a curt nod, "I know."

Uh..okay?

Giving her a nod too, I turn back and focus on my target.

Giggles and chuckles chime in my ears but I try to push them away. I fail to keep my eyes locked ahead as they once again dart backwards.

She stands on her toes and kisses Ryder on the cheeks, "I'll see you later?"

"Sure," he murmurs.

I grip the edge of the counter so tightly that it's a wonder it doesn't crack.

"Lady!" the middle aged man calls out impatiently, "Are you going to throw that?"

I open my tightly clutched fists revealing a dart tucked into my right hand. Taking a deep breath I sharply look at my target and picture Karin's face there.

Swinging my wrist, I throw it.

It hits the board right in the centre.

Well, will you look at that?

"Wow," Ryder whistles lowly as he comes to stand beside me, "You really hit that!"

"Looks like she wasn't completely useless after all," I mutter too low for Ryder to hear. After claiming my prize, we begin to make our way towards the large field behind it where there are less people. The huge crowd and bustle unnerving us.

"Who claims a plastic frog as a prize?" Ryder asks me incredulously as we walk side by side.

I gasp offended and hold the frog to my cheeks, "How could you say that to Mr. Hulk? He's not plastic!"

Ryder raises an eyebrow at me, "Really? Mr. Hulk?"

"Cause he's so cute and green," I say lovingly patting the frog's head.

Ryder shakes his head at me as if to say I'm hopeless. We stop beside a slop and Ryder sits down on the grass. Folding my legs underneath me, I also sit down beside him. It's silent for a moment as we gaze towards the starry sky together.

A cold breeze rushes past me, making a stray strand of my hair waver.

"So...Karin, huh?" I try to sound as nonchalant as I can.

"What?" he raises an eyebrow confused.

"I mean, you obviously like her, right?" I bump his shoulder playfully, "Huh? Huh?"

He glares at me, "No way. She's just a friend!"

"It didn't look like that," I mutter turning my head away from him.

"What?! Are you out of your mind?"

I don't get why he's so pissed off. Okay, fine. Maybe she is just a friend but then he could just brush it off laughing, right?

I roll my eyes, "Okay, geez. Calm down, what are you getting so angry for?"

He runs a hand through his dark brown hair frustratingly, "Because you're such an idiot! You don't understand anything!"

"I said I was sorry!" I look at him weirdly, "Why are you-"

He groans, "It's not about that! It's... just...can't you see what you're doing to me?"

I raise an eyebrow at him, "Huh?"

"Forget it," he says curtly turning away.

"No, Ryder!" I nudge him, "What did you mean?"

"Karin is hot, really," he suddenly says.

I feel myself stiffen, "Oh yeah. Really hot."

"Absolutely gorgeous," he continues glancing at me.

I force a wide grin on my face, "Uh huh."

Why is he doing this? What is he gaining from it? Can't he see how hard it is for me? Can't he see how my heart is aching?

No, cause you won't man up and bloody tell the guy!

I grit my teeth but somehow still keep the smile.

"She's like alcohol," he glances at me, "Once you get a taste, you'll get addicted."

"Okay!" I hold up a hand, this was the last straw, "I really don't need to know-"

He suddenly looks at me directly in the eyes, "But I never liked alcohol much. When the buzz is over, the hangover isn't really worth it."

My breath gets caught up. His face is so close. Why is his face so close?! His blue eyes are darker than usual as he gazes into my eyes. My heart is beating so loudly that I wonder if it's singing a new song.

Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud.

Not very creative if you ask me.

"W-well," I stutter, "At least she'll give a buzz. I'm like water. Safe and boring. Nothing to write home about."

He narrows his eyes at me, "Maybe. But you can always live without alcohol. But can you live without water?"

He places his forehead gently onto mine, "I know I can't."

Someone just punched me.

My throat is so dry you'd mistake it for the desert . I can't look away, I can't breathe, I can't speak.

Why? Why do you always do this to me?

Why do you always give me this hope and then push me away?

Ryder looks pained, "Because I have no other choice."

It takes me a moment to realize that I had said those words out loud.

"What do you mean no choice?" I whisper, my voice breaking slightly.

His eyes harden.

It's happening again. He's pushing me away again.

No, wait, please.

Not again.

So I do the brave thing for once and grab his hand, stopping him.

He looks at our adjoined hand with a look I can't quite decipher.

Wonder? Surprise? Happiness? Sadness? Pain?

"I..I'm sorry," he whispers still looking down at our hands.

I shake my head and place my palm on his cheek. Turning his face gently towards me, I whisper "Don't be Ryder. You have no idea how happy you've made me. You're the only person who has realized what's underneath this comedian, careless facade. You're the only one to see the real me. I know something has happened to you. Something so dark and painful that you're afraid of telling me because you'll think I'll hate you and leave. But Ryder, you see the real me. So I'll try to see the real you too. Don't be afraid Ryder. Just tell me."

His eyes look so pained. So sad. My heart crumbles at his state. Cold breeze rustle his hair slightly and I stare at it in amazement.

This boy whose something as simple as hair can amaze me, how can I hate him?

The answer strikes me.

Never.

No way.

Placing his free hand above my hand, he closes his eyes and leans onto it. Now both of my hands are enjoying his warmth.

"Okay," he whispers, "But first tell me, why are you you?"

I look at him confused, "What?"

"You heard me. What happened to make you you? " he doesn't open his eyes but why do I feel that he's staring right at me?

I gulp. Oh. He's asking me about that.

He laces his fingers through my right hand which is now fully adjoined with his left one and presses on my left one which is on his cheek as an attempt to comfort me.

Without even saying anything he knows.

He knows it's hard for me.

"I was always slightly overweight," I look away from him, "But in freshman year it was really bad. I couldn't wear normal clothes. I always had to shop in the men's section. I wasn't invited to parties. No one wanted to sit with me at lunch. I wasn't just ignored, I was bullied. Every time I would walk in the hallways someone would either trip me or make some remark about how ugly I was. One day in sophomore year, this jock I had a huge crush on, invited me to his party."

His grip on my hand tightens, somehow already knowing what was going to happen.

"I was ecstatic," I whisper, "I was so happy. Someone would be my friend, someone would sit with me. I dressed myself as good as I could and went. Everyone was really nice to me, they were all laughing and I even made some friends. Hah. Then suddenly every body moved away from me and formed a circle. I was confused as hell as to why they were taking out there phones and cameras. Then it happened. A huge bucket of oil was dropped right on me. It drenched my favourite dress. Then came the tomato sauce. I mean seriously? How does oil and tomato mix well?"

I make an attempt to joke through my teary eyes. Ryder's eyes are still closed as he clench his left fist so hard it turned white.

"Then as always came the insults," I continue, "Fatass, cow, turkey chicken, big boobs. Great insults, right? Wow. What are you? Five?" I scoff, "But I was really stupid back then. So I came home running, drenched in tomato sauce and car oil. My parents weren't home. I was stupid, an huge idiot. A bloody bitch. I thought that my life was meaningless. That I was such a piece of shit that none would ever be my friend. That my parents will always be ashamed of me."

Ryder's eyes snapped open as he stared at me in shock, "Tell me you didn't."

I give him a shaky smile, "So I took a bottle of sleeping pills and popped them all."