《rosekook au.》It Was Always You. 1/12
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In an alternative universe where Jeon Jungkook and Park Chaeyoung dated as trainees but decided to break up because he didn't want to be in a relationship while he was officially no longer a trainee and now an idol. Years later, still has her in his mind. After unintentional circumstances amid COVID-19, he finds out that he's actually a father.
For the purposes of fiction, let's pretend that Jeon Jungkook debuted when he was 18 so that things can make better sense >.>
June is always a difficult time for him.
As he's gotten older, Jeon Jungkook realises how immature he was when he'd first debuted. He felt as though he were on top of the world—and in some respect, he was, and thus, he did all that he could to make sure everything around him came crumbling down, even if it meant that they'd burn in the process.
He rode on a high for the first year, basking in the fame and glory but after another anniversary and another passes, he finds himself longing for something else.
Deep down he knows what's missing, or more so, who was the missing piece in his life.
Park Chaeyoung.
Although four years had passed, Jeon Jungkook recalls the day they'd broken up as though it were yesterday—their last date by the han river, chocolate sundaes in their hands as they watched the sun set.
"Things will get busier now that I'll debut next week," he told her at the time, putting down the empty ice cream cup beside him.
Even now as he closes his eyes, he can visualise the way she smiled so brightly, full of pride and joy as though she were the one who'd debuted. She cheered him on greater than any cheerleader.
"I know babe, I'm so proud of you," she told him, reaching out to her pocket to take out a leather wallet, "... I got this for you. I know you'll be busy next week so in case we can't see each other—happy early debut."
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And he remembers the crashing feeling in his chest, knowing that on that very night, he'd break up with her.
Originally, he had planned to do it right there and then, but how could he when she smiled at him with such a genuinely spirit of happiness?
But when he took her back to the dorm, he looked her in the eye and told her, "... I'm sorry, let's end here. It's not fair that I'll be away and busy."
A lie.
Jeon Jungkook was a coward back then, making up excuses to conceal the fact that he simply wanted to leave his dreams with no pressure or burden.
Even today, he remembers the tears in her eyes—but oddly, she accepted.
No begging nor fighting nor pleads to give it a go, she simply thanked him through her own tears and went inside.
For a month, he wondered why she was so unfazed, especially given that he knew she loved him. Perhaps he was simply a game to her.
But as he grew older, he learned the truth.
She was the one who was tired of being a prawn in his own twisted game.
Jeon Jungkook believes that it was a sin to break her heart, years later—but at every attempt to rectify his mistake, he's met with silence. Her three best friends too, were just as protective as she'd told him back when they were together, whether it was at award shows or parties, they'd always pull her away the minute he came within a five-metre vicinity to her.
By their reaction alone, he knows that he'd hurt her.
And they had no interest in giving him the chance to make things right.
June is a terrible month for him, because while it's a month that his group spends joyfully in celebration—he spends it remembering the loneliness he felt, from losing the love of his life.
-
In the silence between them, Jeon Jungkook has learned a lot about Park Chaeyoung and how much she had changed since they'd dated.
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Firstly was her bright sandy blonde hair.
He remembers the way she'd excitedly tell him about the various concepts the group were thinking about for their own debut down the line and how she wanted something edgy, almost grunge-like with lots of layers and either dark charcoal grey or bright red. Yet years have passed and it had been a while since he'd seen her in a deeper toned colour, as she switches between honey blonde and platinum depending on the concept.
Secondly was her lack of alcohol.
Park Chaeyoung was a great drinker, in fact, it was because he was so impressed by her ability to be seemingly sober despite drinking underaged that made him talk to her in the first place. Yet now, whenever he'd see her backstage or at parties, she'd only have water or juice (or a soft drink once in a while). Not once had he seen her drinking.
Lastly was her Cinderella curfew.
Whether it was an award show or party, Park Chaeyoung always leaves early—before the clock turns 9pm. He finds it odd, remembering how he'd used to take her back to the dorm back in their teenage years at midnight or later and how much of a night owl she was. There were many times where their paths crossed, brushed arms against one another as he was entering a venue while she was rushing to leave.
He wonders why.
Perhaps, she has a new man at home waiting for her; perhaps she had a boyfriend who could love her right.
Jeon Jungkook has many questions, but he knows that he'd surrendered his right to answers long ago and frankly—stopped trying to compete for her attention.
All he can do is hope for the best, and support her from afar.
-
Jeon Jungkook believes that the pandemic is a real pain in the ass, but he admits that he's enjoying the moments he has alone at home.
He had heard from his group that she'd caught the virus a few weeks ago, and was still recovering in hospital.
Truthfully, he doesn't think much about it—he knows she's young and healthy, and since he'd gotten sick before he seemingly assumes that she'll recover too.
Besides, he's certain that she's getting the best care in the country.
That is, until he gets a phone call from Alice Park.
It wakes him up at 2AM in the morning and he actually squints at the caller identification for at least a minute that it stops ringing. Was his ex-girlfriend's sister really calling him?
He didn't even know he'd still had her number saved.
After blinking away the confusion, he searches for her contact only to see that it was called again and this time, he doesn't risk letting it turn off on its own and he picks it up instantly.
"Hello? Alice? I think you dialled the wrong person, this is Jungk— wait what?"
He really doesn't believe the words coming from the other side.
"Look Jungkook, trust me when I say I really don't want to talk to you and neither does Chaeng. But I can't—not let you know, after we nearly lost her, she still wants to protect you. It's wrong. It's not right, you can do a paternity test if you don't believe me, but Chaeng has a child and has been raising him on his own. God forbid something happens to her, we know she would want him to be raised by at least one parent. And he's yours, Jungkook. I know you won't believe me, but after almost losing my sister for good, I realised that this isn't something that she should hold in alone."
He learns, at 2AM in June that he was a father of a four-year-old son.
And after all those years, Park Chaeyoung didn't accept the break-up because she didn't love him, but because she loved him so much that she didn't want to hold him back.
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