《Who am I?! (Completed)》Chapter 34
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⚠⚠⚠ (!!Warning!! Suicide, abuse, self-harm, swearing and bullying are mentioned throughout this chapter and I advise sensitive readers to be cautious reading ahead.) ⚠⚠⚠
Lots of love Abs xx
The Ladybug Miraculous
The Miraculous of creation
The Ying to the Black cats Yang
The epitome of luck
This was what Tikki knew for her entire life as the Kwami of creation and of the ladybug miraculous. Life as a Goddess wasn't one she asked for, she was just born one day and was given this job without any hesitation and she had no other choice but to suck it up for the rest of her life and do her job: be the Kwami of creation.
Tikki never understood at first but this was her life and over time she enjoyed it. At first it was just her and Plagg, they were the perfect balance between the world: Bad luck and luck, creation and destruction. Nothing was there to mess things up.
Over time the rest of the Kwami were born: the last of the zodiac kwami, kwami from other countries and boxes, remmlings and other magical creatures people even nowadays only ever believed was fictional.
Tikki had been there from the start and had witnessed history as it happened, she knew every lie and truth but there was a day where everything they knew would suddenly change.
The events were so traumatic no Kwami in the universe recall it, its been lost somewhere in time where they'd like it to stay but that doesn't mean it can't haunt them from time to time. Due to her happy-go-lucky personality, Tikki has to hide her emotions and she's done it so many times that its become second nature for her to do so whenever necessary.
Not only does this apply to this kwami but the rest as well, the past is something they never liked to talk about and its always been a silent promise between the Gods and Goddess' to never let words slip of the events that occurred over millennia's ago.
The promise so strong that not even Marinette knows, and that means a lot to the Zodiac Kwami.
The black and red Goddess has had near thousands of holders over the years, all different genders and different love interests but she's never had a preference really. She's loved them all, some more and less than others but she's entitled to her own opinion and she shouldn't be judged on that.
There's been times were the holder is an amazing person and other holders... not so much but it always gets given back to the guardian of the miraculous box of the given time period. There's been holders of both young and old but that made no difference to her personally.
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There's also been times where she would have a single holder for several years and others for not as long, whether it was first degree murder, manslaughter or even suicide the death of the ladybug holder always affected her in some sort of way; some deaths more than others but that always depends on how attached she got to the holder.
Death was something Tikki herself could never experience, she was born and would forever live on unless... but that was impossible but however...
Tikki had seen death with her own beady eyes, she's seen it all around the world since the beginning of time and just because she's seen so much doesn't mean she's accustomed to it, doesn't mean she hates it with every fibre in her magical being.
After years and years and years of existing, Tikki was blessed with Marinette Wayne.
Marinette was truly a blessing in disguise and Tikki was astonished in how much potential such a small teenage had in her but never once did she underestimate her and quite frankly she did the opposite.
The Kwami tried her best in encouraging the young girl to pursue what she loved and do what she believed was right and look where that brought the teenage girl to as of right now. Marinette had gotten so far from when she first got her miraculous and she wouldn't've done it without her Kwami's help; Marinette would forever be in Tikki's debt even if the kwami herself didn't know that.
Tikki would do anything to help the girl even if it meant it might somehow affect other people who lived on the same earth as she did, Tikki loved the girl to bits and nothing nor could no one change the love she felt towards the sixteen year old.
Despite everything Tikki had seen and experienced through all her years of living, Marinette surely was an enigma that she couldn't help but love and she wouldn't stop loving her either.
Death
Tikki had seen death many times and knows that with the job of being a miraculous owner, it brings lots of baggage that no one should have yet here they are living with this heavy burden on their shoulders.
Death
Tikki would love to take away her holders pain, take away the trauma, take away everything unwanted and to take away those thoughts constantly running around the teenagers mind.
Death
Marinette has seen so much death during her time of being the spotted Parisian heroine that she's not even scared of it anymore. She mocks it actually, if death can't do its job properly in keeping people dead then does death truly even exist?
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The youngest Wayne has seen her previous teammates die on several occasions and she would eventually revive them back to life with her miraculous ladybug cure. Everyone gets injured during battle and that's a no brainer whether its the heroes fighting for justice or if its the civilians living in the city of love, no one is left unscathed.
Marinette plays with danger and death like a game, she plays the game so much that it doesn't even feel like a game anymore. It's become routine. Marinette doesn't even seem to realise the difference between life and death because what even is the different if everyone who dies always seems to come back alive again?
Everyone she knew came back to life besides two people:
Her birth mum and Wang Fu
Out of everyone whose come back to life from apparent death, she wants them to come back but to no avail they never have and despite her beliefs in life and death, they've remained dead six feet underground.
Death
Marinette willingly tried to die once but a lovely lady interfered and that led to Marinette remaining on earth for another year. It's another reason as to why Marinette thinks death doesn't really mean death.
Marinette planned to die three days ago, she was meant to die upon self infliction but that didn't go to plan. She ended up being rushed to the hospital for something she didn't plan to happen and basically died but what happened after that... She didn't die and woke up again.
Death, Oh death how she wishes it could be true
She's played with it, she's experienced it, she's gone through it, she can no longer believe it. Death isn't reality but its an escape for those in hard places, some are fortunate for it to be a sort of vacation while others find death so fulfilling that they decide to remain and never go back to the life they once had.
Death isn't the end.
It truly isn't because memories live on, legacies live on, people live on. They've left their mark, they've made history, they were apart of someone's life and made it better, everyone was born and everyone will die.
Death isn't the end because you continue to live on, it doesn't matter in which way. Maybe you believe in reincarnation, maybe you believe in living another life as another person, maybe you believe in karma, maybe you believe in heaven and hell, maybe you believe in judgement day or maybe...
You believe whatever, everyone's entitled to their own beliefs and they have every right to believe so- there's no room for judgement.
You don't end with death because you will be remembered, death truly isn't the end even if its inevitable.
Marinette Dupain-Cheng is someone who exists in a single country but none other, she's a ghost, someone who technically doesn't and shouldn't even exist.
Marinette Dupain-Cheng in only known to a few people: Francois Dupont high school and college, Sabine and Tom knew her and Cassie but she was always so busy but would she really remember her?
Marinette Dupain-Cheng legally doesn't exist to the world but there is Marinette Wayne.
Marinette Wayne is someone who exists in every country around the globe, she's well known all around but that's by default because of her father and his stupid famous surname.
Marinette Wayne is known all around and frankly, if you hadn't heard the name then you'd be publicly labelled as crazy because who doesn't know the Wayne's?!?!
There's people who know of both these girls but they have yet to make any sort of connection as of now. The similarities are too much and everything's adds up just too perfectly that its too much to handle.
Maybe without others influence they'd see the light but even without certain people, they never seemed to notice and maybe that's a good thing after finding out the truth.
Death will never be the end and make sure you know that because death is never easy and it never will be easy...
Whether they're someone you know personally or you don't know them at all.
Whether the person is someone real or fictional.
Whether it's in reality or in a story.
Death will be death and there's always going to be tears at the funeral.
...
... ...
...
... ...
Let the drama unfold
Let the secrets unravel
Let the truth be revealed
Stories will be told
Tears will be shed
This chapter will come to an end
A story will finally be closed
We've been on this long journey together
And it's finally time to say goodbye
We've shared memories
You've all been my first
Let's say thank you to the creators
My life has been changed for the better
There's still a tomorrow
I'll make sure we'll see each other next time
but for now
Sit back and relax
Be sure to grab yourself a snack
For this... this is it
We've had our fun
Game faces on
We're in the final stretch now
of
Who am I?!
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