New uniform, fresh shower, cover-up on the lingering bruises, almost faded after a week and a half. Confidence was your costume, and you were going to wear it without a snag. Straightening your back in the mirror, you smoothed over your hair and puffed out your chest. You looked determined. And you were. After all, today was the day.

The day you'd be made Chief Engineer.

Your shoulders slumped. Not that you knew that for certain. For all you knew, Hux could have summoned you to send you off like he'd always intended. But you hoped--against reality, maybe--that you were right. Shaking off your doubt and blowing it through your nose, you left your quarters, headed straight for the bridge. The only problem was who you might see there.

Yet since the Command Shuttle's return almost two days ago, you hadn't seen a wisp of who you were now calling your former lover. You tried not to think his name. You tried not to think about him at all. You didn't want him to know--or hear--how often you still ached for him, how often you dreamed of his face when you slept. You didn't want him to know how your hands would skim your skin in the middle of the sleep cycle, how they'd dip between your legs in remembrance of him, right before you'd strap them to the cot in defiance. He dominated your brain just as he'd dominated your body--and you hated it.

When you arrived at the bridge, your first instinct was to scan the area, prepared to double-back if he was there. But he wasn't--and the wave of relief brought along a shadow of disappointment and anguish. You hated that, too. More than anything, you should be happy that he was avoiding you. That he hadn't so much as made an effort to interrupt your day. Instead, your heart was reluctantly wilting, clamoring for just a glimpse of his body to rejuvenate its blood.

"Your purpose?"

Your bones launched from your skin, hand clutching your chest. "Shit!" It was just a Stormtrooper. Blushing, you cleared your throat. "Uh, sorry. Yes. General Hux requested me?"

Silent, the Stormtrooper nodded, leading you to the closed hatch of Hux's office. Part of you was surprised--normally, Hux would have been waiting for your arrival, all too eager to get you in and out of his life as quickly as possible. Today was different. But was that a good or a bad thing? Maybe--

The hatch flew open, Hux's dull, severe face greeting you behind his desk. "You're early."

Blinking, your head swiveled in search of a chronometer. "But--I was told--"

"No matter." He beckoned you forward with a wave of his hand. "Don't just stand there."

"Uh, right. I mean--yes, sir." You winced. Good. It was already going perfectly.

Hux sighed, swiping a finger across his datapad before turning his attention back to you. "At this point," he said, "I'm not sure who I consider a bigger nuisance--you, or Ren."

Your stomach sank into your knees. "My apologies, sir, I--"

"I'm not done. Since my first meeting with you, I've wanted nothing more than to find an excuse to make you someone else's problem."

Oh, shit. Swallowing, you stared at your feet. He'd finally found the opportunity to make good on that desire.

"Between your attitude, your disrespect for authority, your... whatever it is... with Ren--"

"Well, General, actually--"

"I'm not done. Between those issues, you've been nothing but a buzzing pest. Not important enough to take time out of my day to swat... but always there, always irritating me at the most inconvenient of times."

You swallowed again, nodding. What were you supposed to say? Perhaps you needed to leave now and start packing. Perhaps he'd give you at least 24 hours to say goodbye to everyone--

"Unfortunately," Hux said, "your proficiency has always made it far more efficient for me to keep you here rather than bother with assigning and training a separate engineer." He paused. "As reluctant as I am to admit it."

"Oh." Blood rushed your face. Your fingers were trembling. "Uh. Yes, sir."

"You've managed to act as an asset, despite your handicaps."

Clearing your throat, you suppressed a frown. What handicaps? Was he talking about your issues with your supervisors? Really, it wasn't like you--

"Therefore, starting tomorrow, you'll be acting as Chief Engineer." His face couldn't look any less enthusiastic. "Any questions?"

Hux seemed to you like a figment of your imagination--something you could reach out and wipe away, or something that, if the right light was cast upon it, would ripple back to a blank canvas. Certainly not the real General of the First Order informing you--imperfect, inferior you--that you were the Chief Engineer of the elite fleet hangar on the Finalizer. Your heart throbbed in your temples, a smile cracking its way across your face. Of course, you'd hoped and suspected, but to actually hear the words--to watch Hux's mouth form them as they entered your ears--that made it real.

"N-no, sir!" You squeezed your hands together behind your back to curb their shaking. "T-thank you. Thank you. So, s-so much."

He raised an eyebrow, gaze returning to his datapad. "Dismissed."

Nodding, you spun on your heel, scampering out of the door into the bridge. Smothering a squeal, you covered your face with your hands. This was real--it was really happening. You were really going to be Chief Engineer. You wanted to stamp your feet, scream in celebration, fly back to the academy and rub it in your peers' faces, but you needed to exude some professionalism. So instead, head held to the ceiling, you skipped through the bridge, tingling with excitement while you imagined greeting your new employees.

As you exited the bridge, you shut your lids and sucked in a chestful of air, mind dancing with joy. Chief Engineer. Chief Engineer. Chief Engineer. You'd never have to work with the Command Shuttle or interact with him again. Your life could go back to normal. Finally, finally--

You connected with something firm and wide, and you yelped, leaping back and spilling words of apology from your mouth as you opened your eyes. When your gaze met the soulless, vacant visor, the framework of happiness you'd built came tumbling to the ground, collapsing in a messy, splintered heap, your face glowing like a red lamp.

Of course you'd bump into him, of all people, right as you were starting to feel like your life hadn't ended. You cursed yourself, despising that your first desire was not to run, but to grab him and tell him what had happened. Chief Engineer, you wanted to say, Hux finally made me Chief Engineer. Remember when you'd said I was a better engineer than Sam? You were right, you were right all along--

"Yes," he said, "I was."

He said not another word, pushing past you onto the bridge, leaving you stunned--a statue, sculpted from the floor. You heard his boots fade into the din of the crowd, and you gulped, lips taut over your teeth while you scrambled down the halls, pulse pounding through your brain.

When you arrived at the docking bay, your skin was still hot, pieces of your heart clinging together by threads. How was it that such a simple interaction was enough to capsize your day? Would you really let him ruin your moment? No. Wringing your sweaty palms, you sought out Sam and Minks, finding them by the main terminal, giggling to each other. You strangled your jealousy and tossed it behind you.

"Hey!" you said. "What's this? I don't think I ever allowed fun on the floor!"

Sam met your eyes, smirking. "You don't think you ever allowed--" His gaze widened, his jaw dropping. "Wait. Are you serious?"

You grinned, shrugging. "May-be."

"Oh. My. Stars!" Minks hopped in place, fists balling at her chest. "Are you our new boss? Are you the Chief Engineer?"

Unable to cork your joy, you nodded, teeth gleaming in a massive smile. "Yes! Yes! I am!"

Minks squealed, launching herself onto you and curling around you like a weed. But you couldn't act like you minded. By herself, she'd managed to right your mood. You hugged her back, releasing a sigh as she pulled away, looking between her and Sam with an unbreakable grin.

"Can't lie and say I'm not nervous, though."

"You'll be fine," Sam said. "What do you have to be nervous about?"

"I don't know," you replied. "The reporting. The management aspects. And stuff." Sure, you knew ships, but you didn't know much about supervising. You didn't want to be another Dash Damarcus. Well--you didn't want to be him for multiple reasons.

Sam shook his head, waving you off. "You don't even need to worry. Just report to the Lieutenant at the end of every day, to Hux at the end of every week, and you'll learn the rest along the way."

You nodded. "Right, yeah... I guess you're right."

"This does leave one question, though," he said, looking at Minks. "Who gets the Command Shuttle?"

The thought alone was enough to send your heart rate into space, and you frowned, crossing your arms. Surely, Sam couldn't be worried that Minks would end up in the same position you'd been in. Like you were that disposable. Or maybe it was just concern that two out of his two girlfriends would end up in the Commander's bed. You shook your head. Stop.

"It's about time the Command Shuttle go to its rightful engineer," you said, winking at Sam. "No fake shootout to save you this time. The Commander is your problem, now."

He shot you a wry smile. "Ha-ha, very funny," he said. "Who knows, though. Now that you're Chief, you'll probably be dealing with him more often than I will."

Air left your lungs, and you choked. "W-what?"

Sam raised an eyebrow. "Uh. Yeah, man. I mean, I don't know, I might be misremembering, but I'd see him at least once a week if he was on-base. But maybe it'll be different with you."

You swallowed the anxiety wadding in your throat, nodding. "Y-yeah. Right."

"And," he said, "you'll have to train me on that thing, anyways."

No. "R-right." The bay stretched out in front of your feet. You still wouldn't be rid of him. What if the pain would never end?

"Hey." Minks stepped forward, wagging her hand in front of your face. "You okay? What's the problem? You look a little green..."

The problem was the fact that you'd wanted the Chief Engineer position since you'd been stationed at Starkiller, and now that you had it, your former lover seemed intent on stealing that from you, as well. Why was it a surprise? It was something you should have been expecting. You didn't want him to ruin this for you--but the thought of seeing him so frequently drove a spike through your chest.

"It's just..." Your chin quivered. "I'm..."

"What?" Minks said. "What is it?"

"It's not fair." The words left you in a whisper. "He gets to go on, doing whatever he wants, living however he wants. And meanwhile, here I am, wondering if I even want to do this. All because I'll have to see him."

She gasped. "What! No! Don't you dare think like that. He doesn't get to determine how your life goes, okay? You do."

You shook your head. "I just don't know, dude. I've wanted to be Chief Engineer forever. And now I'm wondering if it's even worth it."

"Of course it is." Sam was the one person out of anyone who'd known how badly you wanted this. "You don't need to worry. We'll be here to support you. All right?"

Grimacing, you buried your face in your hands. "Ugh! I don't get what I did to deserve friends like you guys!" You raked your nails over your face. "I'm a fucking jackass!"

Minks patted your back. "Because you're a good person," she said. "And besides--you're our jackass."

Even with the support of Sam and Minks--post-work meals, pre-work pep-talks--you were struggling with your job. It wasn't because of him, either--you hadn't seen him since the run-in on the bridge. It was because of the work. Chief Engineer was nothing like you'd expected it to be, and now you weren't sure what you'd been expecting to begin with. With people working under you, there were no complex issues to be investigated, no emergencies you'd ever had to attend to--no, it was your job to balance the budget. To manage the assignments. To follow-up on uncompleted task lists and unfinished reports.

It was boring. It was empty. And you hated it.

What made it worse were your new superiors. Reporting to the Lieutenant daily wasn't too awful. But you'd had to brave one weekly meeting with Hux, so far--and he'd ripped you down to the studs. You'd spent the entire following week reviewing your mistakes with Sam, and you were hoping to redeem yourself in the General's eyes. For some reason. Part of you was resenting the fact you were even worried about his opinion. But you didn't want to just outright fail your promotion.

You arrived at his office after the end of shift, tapping your toe while you waited for him to allow you entry. When door hissed open, he ordered you in by your name. At least that was one thing he'd conceded on.

Steeling your limbs, you stepped over the threshold, meeting his gaze with a newfound conviction. Sam had told you everything you needed to do.

"General," you began, holding up your datapad as reference, "this week we completed--"

"Is that how you plan on entering every week?" Hux wasn't even looking at you.

You blinked, frowning. Okay. "This week we completed--"

"What's the progress on sector dee?"

"I'm getting to that, sir, if you'll just let me--"

"Your insolence does you no favors."

"--finish, I'll be happy to update you on all of the--"

"I thought I told you to draft a report on sector dee."

"--sectors, but first, I really want to review--"

"Officer."

Your cheeks burned, your first gripping your pad so tight that you were afraid it would crack. "Yes. Sir."

Hux's eyes locked on yours. "The sector. Did you remember to review it as I'd asked?"

Words wouldn't come. You'd been too busy going over basic procedure with Sam. "Um..."

"I was under the impression that you'd be able to follow the simplest of my requests and provide me with basic information--but it seems from your presentation today, you aren't even able to do that. Do you lack discipline, or were you distracted by another one of your affairs?"

The core of your body scorched your flesh. Your fingers twitched while you imagined reaching over the desk and twisting his weaselly neck. You'd done exactly like Sam had told you to do--step in, start with the report right away.

"I expect an answer when I ask you a question, officer."

Jaw set, you swallowed. If you opened your mouth, nothing good would come out of it.

"Hm." Hux leaned back in his chair, brow cocked. "Perhaps the position isn't a good fit." The smile on his face was cruel. "Perhaps you'd be better suited somewhere else."

"Perhaps I would!" you replied, before you could plug your lips.

But after the words had left your mouth, you found yourself unable to disagree with them. There was nothing left for you on the Finalizer--except for Sam and Minks. At least, when you'd been second engineer, you'd been happy. Now, you hated your job, you hated your superiors, and you hated the memories that embroidered every hour of your day. No matter where you were, or what you were doing, something reminded you of him. Something was there, making you remember his eyes, his arms, the sound of his voice, the feeling of being flush against his chest, the feeling of his lips on your neck, the feeling of his breath, like a feather over your ear while he filled you with something you couldn't even bring yourself to name.

And you weren't going to subject yourself to Hux's abuse for the sake of a title. You were done being pushed around.

"In fact, you know what, General. I think you're right." You tossed your datapad onto his desk. "I want to be on a ship out of here within the next forty-eight hours. Consider this my official request for a transfer."