I stir awake, a familiar leg rubbing up against mine underneath the duvet covers, and an arm pulls me closer. I smile as Grayson nuzzles his nose into my neck and inhales deeply. "Mmmm," he sounds.

I turn around in Grayson's arms, so I can admire his delicate features. From his lips I love to taste, to his velvety skin my fingertips always find themselves on, to the messy curled hair that's getting too long (yet still looks sexy). I brush my fingers deliberately through his soft hair, then down the side of his face, stopping to lay my hand on his cheek.

Grayson opens his eyes and I'm striked again by the powerful blueness of them. "I love it when you wake me up like that."

"Like what?" I ask, but I know how he'll respond; being with someone for exactly five years gets you well acquainted with their mannerism. Yes, Grayson and I have been together for five years, three of which, Grayson and I have been living together in our own apartment for. It's been an exhilarating roller coaster, (we may have broken up another time... we don't talk about that). But even with the ups and downs, I can't imagine my life without Grayson. He's my everything and waking up next to him in our home is a dream come true every morning.

Especially when he wakes me up in an... exciting way. Morning head is the best start to your day.

Grayson smirks- I was hoping for that cocky smirk- "like you're obsessed with me," he winks at me. "I mean, I get it." I roll my eyes and push his face, getting him to laugh and pull me closer to him. Then, I'm pushed onto my back and he's on top, straddling my waist before I can refuse (not that I would). "Know what today is?"

I grin, "Happy five year anniversary, baby."

"Happy five years, beautiful." Grayson leans down and I close my eyes- I still get butterflies in my stomach even after years of kissing him- but he doesn't kiss me. I frown, opening my eyes when I feel him reach beyond me to the top drawer of his nightstand.

I don't see what he grabs from inside it as he switches position to sit next to me, his legs crossed. I sit up in bed. Grayson's hand with the mystery item is behind his back. "Ya' know, you don't have to hide your gift like that every year," I tell Grayson with an amused smile, "you always get me a sex toy in the morning of our anniversary, so it's not much of a surprise."

"We'll see about that," Grayson dismisses, but almost looks... nervous? He brings his hand out to the front and he's holding a black, velvet box.

Jewelry?

Grayson takes a deep breath.

Wait a second. Hold on. What? Grayson's nervous, taking deep breaths, and his hands are visibly shaking... No, he's not going to... is he? "Grayson..." I begin cautiously, "what are you doing?" My heart is pounding out of my chest.

"Reid..." he opens the box and a ring is neatly tucked into the middle of the velvet cushion. My hand covers my mouth. I think I'm gonna pass out. "Why are you already crying?" Grayson asks, looking panicked as he brushes a tear off my cheek with his thumb.

"What do you mean?! You just pulled out a ring, and are proposing to me, and I'm gonna say yes, and we're gonna get married!" I exclaim my reasoning for my tear-filled eyes.

Grayson chuckles nervously, "so you're saying yes? Do I need to say my speech?"

Oh my God, what is happening? Am I dreaming? Too overwhelmed with emotions, I say, "you... you have a speech?"

"Well... not written down or anything," Grayson says sheepishly. I've never seen him so nervous!! I nod eagerly, trying to tell him I want to hear the speech, but I'm crying too much. "Okay," Grayson takes a deep breath, readying himself, then takes my hands in his, "Reid-"

I pull my hands away and fling them to my face as I cry more.

IT'S EARLY MORNING, AND THE LOVE OF MY LIFE IS PROPOSING TO ME, WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!

"Baby," Grayson chuckles, taking my hands again.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry, continue," I nod.

"Reid." I grin. "The first time I met you, I thought 'man, this guy can't take his eyes off me." I scoff, lightheartedly, and push his shoulder. Grayson chuckles then says, "but I never thought that my world would change so drastically. That I'd end up finding the love of my life. That I'd find my best friend. Then, I met you, and everything changed and I knew. I knew you were the one for me. Are the one for me. You make me laugh, and inspire me, and you excite me. And you irritate the hell out of me."

I laugh and Grayson laughs- both of us anxious and restless- before continuing, "you're the most beautiful person I know, and sexy as hell, and I just want to kiss you all the time. I get giddy just thinking about you. And you make me emotional. Like saying this speech that I never thought I'd say to anyone cause I never cared to get married. But when I picture a wedding in my head, it's you who I imagine standing by me. It's you who I want to wake up every day next to, and fall asleep next to, and I really should've written down a speech 'cause now I feel like I'm saying a lot and if you could just say yes-"

"Yes!" I shout, flinging my arms around Grayson's neck and kissing him. His hand that isn't holding the ring (Gah! I can't believe this is happening!), lays on my lower back and presses me closer.

"Mmm, I also did get you anal beads," Grayson tells me against our lips.

I pull back, "you did not."

Grayson smirks, "I did and we're using them on you tonight."

I scoff, "shut up, and give me that ring," I demand while smiling.

Grayson smiles, taking out the ring and I swear to God, I'm gonna cry again. He slides the ring on the ring finger of my left hand. I admire it, awestruck. It's a sleek black ring with green gemstones going all the way around.

"It's peridot. My birthstone, then I'll get amethyst for your birthstone on my ring," Grayson explains.

"This is so beautiful, Grayson."

"Yeah?" He questions nervously scratching the back of his head. "I didn't know if you'd want diamonds or just a plain ring."

"No, this is perfect because it's you."

Grayson grins which broadens my smile. Then, to my surprise, he tells me, "your mom helped me pick it out."

My eyebrows raise. "Really? My mother?" Grayson nods.

My relationship with my mother has never been better... well maybe before I knew I was gay. But either way, our relationship is good now. My mom comes over with Angie (Peter's in college, don't ask me how he got in) every Sunday night. She's even found a new church that's accepting of all sexualities and she actually likes Grayson.

Now Grayson, on the other hand, doesn't really like my mom, she can still make ignorant comments and be judgmental. Grayson's happy I'm happy with my relationship with my mom, but he's not the best at letting go of grudges. ("I can't forgive someone for kicking you out and letting your dad hit you for being gay. That's unforgivable. But, she's your mother, so allowing her back into your life is your choice," is what Grayson had told me when I asked what he thought about me forgiving my mom). But that was a while ago so things have progressed since.

What hasn't progressed is my relationship with my father. About three years ago, my mom divorced my dad which is also why my mom and I are so close now. My dad and I? Haven't spoken since I walked out of my house the night my parents kicked me out.

"Yeah, it was actually a good time," Grayson tells me.

I wrap my arms around his neck again, "that makes me so happy," I say before kissing my fiancé.

"I don't know if- if I can do this," I say, my voice shaking. My hands are sweaty and my heart's racing. "Tell Grayson, I- I- I can't do it."

"Hey, yes you can, okay?" Alex speaks softly to me, kneeling in front of me. All the while, I'm sitting on a beige chair, fanning myself and wondering if I'm having the hot flash my mother always talks about.

I shake my head. "No, I can't," I press. Why did I agree to marriage with Grayson last year, when I know I have more anxiety than everyone in this world combined!!

Alex is pushed out of the way by my best friend, "Reid, you're gonna get up, walk down that goddamn aisle to Grayson, and look sexy as hell while doing it, you got it?" I make a strangled noise, but Preston's not having it, "nuh-uh, none of that anxiety shit." He pulls out a pill bottle from his suit jacket and dips a pill out of it and into his palm once he untwisted the cap, "take this," he looks over at Alex and nods his head towards the fancy pitcher filled with ice cold water that sits on the beige vanity.

Alex understands the look and pours a glass of water before handing it to Preston who hands it to me. I take the small, round, white pill from Preston, the glass of water, and down both.

"Good boy," Preston pats my head. "Now, go marry that shit-head you love so much."

I chuckle and my shaking lessens and my nervous wreck of a brain calms down as my anxiety pill sinks in. "Thank you guys. Thank you for being here."

"Of course," Alex smiles.

"Hey, I'm your best man," Preston claps me on the shoulder, "that's what I'm here for. And if you don't get married to Grayson today, I'm gonna curb-stomp you."

"Well, that's a little unnecessary," Alex says and I chuckle at them. Thank God they're here, I need their comic relief on my wedding day.

Oh God, it's so weird to think about: wedding day. And in a chapel at that! Grayson didn't want to get married in a church, but he knows how much my faith means to me, so he agreed. But the chapel we were able to book is gorgeous, almost like walking into a fantasy world. One would think they're in a fairytale castle, that's how enchanting it is. With huge, glimmering chandeliers, gold archways, pristine white walls and pews. The pews have flower garlands strung up along the back side. Stunning, floor-to-ceiling windows giving everyone a view of the beautiful woods behind the chapel.

We specifically picked this chapel because of the woods you can see from the window. It reminded us of a certain fictional wedding that we thought was fitting for our wedding. And we may or may not have picked the same flower scheme as said fictional wedding. What can I say, Bella and Edward have good taste. But, Grayson and I did add a splash of purple to make it our own.

"Okay," I take a deep breath, and shake out my nerves. I straighten the collar of my white dress shirt that lays underneath my beige suit.

There's a small knock at the dressing room door before my mom pokes her head in, "Ready, Sweetheart?" And then I see my sister. Angie's in a plum colored dress with a white rose pinned into her curly hair. She's our flower girl.

I nod, trying to gulp, but feeling it's impossible due to my dry throat. My mother opens the door further and holds out her arm for me. She's walking me down the aisle. I grab her arm and make our way with Alex and Preston. We stop just sort of the doors that lead to Grayson. Oh God, oh God, oh God. Please, Reid, don't trip.

Angie's leading the line. Preston's stationed behind her and in front of Alex and I'm behind Alex with my mom.

The doors open and music starts (Grayson picked the music for me to walk down to, you can guess).

Our family and friends stand up as Angie begins tossing petals on the ground. My brother is standing by Grayson with his note-filled book that I gave him when I asked him to be our marriage officiant. There's Marisa and Jessica- already crying- at Grayson's end in their plum, purple bridesmaid dresses (we did things a little differently for our wedding).

But my eyes are only locked on Grayson's. He's wearing a sleek, navy blue suit with a white rose as his boutonnière which is the same as mine. His dark curly hair is perfectly messy in the way I like it. He smiles the most genuine and content smile I've ever seen and I'm positive it matches my smile.

And when it's my cue, I make my way to marry the love of my life.

😭