McKenna and Alyssa got ten hours of community service. I wish they got a lifetime of community service, but beggars can't be choosers I guess.

Although, their punishment doesn't stop at picking up garbage on the side of the road. Alyssa and McKenna also have to suffer the retribution of walking down the hallways of Austberg High School. Where asshole adolescents love to piss on you with destructive words.

"Stop looking at child pornography, pedos!"

"Don't go by her, she'll molest you."

"Why don't you take some pictures of the freshman, so you can get off to them later."

"I bet they're on the sex offender list."

"Pedos!"

"Pedophiles!"

Yeah. Pretty harsh. And those are only a few that I've heard people at school say to Alyssa and McKenna. I kind of feel bad, but I also feel like they deserve it. Then I feel guilty for thinking that they deserve it.

What they did was horrible, and they brought that on themselves. They outed Grayson and I in a very public and humiliating way and outed me to my parents. So they certainly deserve community service, but the name calling? I know how it feels to be on the butt end of someone else's 'joke' and it's not fun.

It's been two weeks since we exposed Alyssa and McKenna. That means Preston and Colton are back. Colton is more focused on calling the girls a pedophile than he is on bullying us gay students, so that's... good? Ugh, I hate that I feel bad for them two.

Outside of school, I still have yet to talk to my parents which makes me cry every time I think about it. I haven't even seen Angie. Peter keeps me up to date on my parents and our sister though. He told me that mom and dad have been arguing more. From what my brother has said, my mom seems to be struggling with her decision on kicking me out. She misses me, I guess. But my father is still stubborn on his views, so I try not to give myself hope on going back home.

Not that I don't love living with my boyfriend, I do... most of the time. The first week was nothing but pure bliss and giddiness and laughter and being... intimate. Very intimate. But these last couple of days, I've been thinking more and more on why Grayson is even with me if he doesn't love me. I get upset when I think about him not loving me. I get mad that he hasn't said 'I love you' yet. I get anxious thinking he'll never say it. It's a roller coaster of emotions.

I mean, it's been almost three months. I feel like that's enough time to know if you love someone or not. Maybe I said it too soon. But I don't think I did. I feel so strongly for Grayson, I know I'm not mistaken on my feeling for him.

So why won't he tell me? Does he really not love me? Is he afraid to say it? Is this really all about his ex? Fuck. What if Grayson still loves his ex?

Thank God, Grayson turned down his dads offer to go to California for spring break. I'm not emotionally stable enough to spend my spring break alone while my boyfriend spends his time in a house next door to his gorgeous ex. No thank you.

I realize how selfish that is, but I can just picture the anxiety attacks I'd have every night thinking Grayson's hanging out with Logan.

Plus, Grayson declined the offer to go to California all on his own. I even told him he should go 'cause that's the type of supportive boyfriend I am. (Even though I basically jumped with joy when Grayson told me he wasn't going).

But I'm still fixated on what Grayson thinks when he looks at me because when I look at him, the rest of the world goes blank. It's just him and I. Sometimes when he looks at me, I know he feels the same way; it's just him and I. Then there's other times he looks at me and I can't decipher what he's thinking.

However, I have no time to think about all that right now cause today is all about me.

"Happy birthday, biiitch!!" Marisa and Jessica exclaims in unison, dragging out the delightful nickname.

I can't help but laugh, my lips pulling into a wide grin as both of the girls hug me in the doorway of Grayson's house.

My birthday party that Grayson and Preston put together (in a semi-civil manner) started 20 minutes ago. The girls declared it's "hotter to be fashionably late."

It isn't a party per-say, more of a get-together.

Of course me and my boyfriend and Preston are here. Alex and Kurtis showed up together (Alex claims they are just friends... hmm) and now my two favorite lesbians are here.

Grayson's mom dipped out for the night after graciously buying us alcohol. "No drinking and driving or I'll murder you both!" She had warned Grayson and I.

"Ay! Now the party can start!" Preston yells as the girls walk in. He's already three drinks of Smirnoff deep.

"What are we playing?" Jessica asks as her and her girlfriend take off their shoes and coats before sitting in a circle like the rest of us.

"We're playing Buzzed," Alex response, lifting his drink.

"I'll make you two a drink," Grayson offers as he stands up. "We have watermelon Smirnoff, vodka, Truly's...?"

"Thank you, I'm the D.D tonight," Marisa tells him.

"Watermelon Smirnoff? I haven't had that one," Jessica says curiously.

"Grayson mixes it with sprite and it's so good," I tell her before passing my drink to Jessica for her to try.

"Oh! That is really good! I'll have that," Jessica says excitedly after taking a sip from my cup.

"Coming right up," Grayson winks at them then kisses the top of my head before walking to the kitchen.

Do cute shit like kissing my head but don't tell me you love me? What is up with that? Ugh, I want to scream at Grayson, but I have no right to be mad. He feels how he feels. I trust that he'll tell me he loves me when he is ready.

Stop thinking about it, Reid, and enjoy your birthday.

"So, Kurtis," Preston starts with a conniving grin. Oh boy. "How do you spend so much time with Alex and not want to rip your ears off? I can hardly go all day listening to Alex speak, let alone hang out with him, without falling asleep."

"Dick," Alex sneers and throws a couch pillow at Preston's face. I laugh.

"I actually get paid to hang out with him," Kurtis jests to which Alex gasps and mocks like he's offended.

"Ah, so he jokes," Preston says laughing, "I like this one," he claps Alex's shoulder, "he's a keeper," Preston winks and Alex swats his hand away.

I roll my eyes but am smiling. It feels like forever since I've had a good night with my friends like this. No drama or secrets or fighting.

Grayson comes back into the living room and plops down next to me after handing Marisa and Jess their drink.

"So, how do you play Buzzed?" Jess asks.

It is close to midnight when Preston pulls me to the side and demands, "come with me."

I was alone in the kitchen, helping myself to another drink. I haven't drank too much, but I'm definitely feeling tipsy. "Where are we going?" I ask with a smile, setting my cup down, and let him take the sleeve of my arm.

"Outside. I wanna show you something," is all Preston says.

We pass the living room and I see Grayson chatting away with Alex and Kurtis and the girls which makes me smile. Grayson and Preston had gotten a big golden balloon of a one and an eight for my eighteenth. The numbers floated together near my group of friends.

After playing the drinking game for an hour, we switched to a different game that didn't require drinking for those who weren't consuming alcohol tonight. (Designated drivers being Marisa and Kurtis).

But we took a quick break to order pizza.

Before I know it, Preston's dragging me outside like he said he would.

The brisk February air embraces me in a chilled hug that I was not dressed for. All I had on was a black crew neck and tan chino pants. I didn't even put my shoes on, so I'm walking on cold cement in socks. "Preston," I whine as he takes me further down the driveway. "Where are we going?"

"Just shush," he demands but let's me go.

"I'm going back inside," I turn around.

"No!" He yanks me back before I even get a chance to walk. "I'm giving you your birthday present. My God, you're so impatient. I left it in the car 'cause I didn't want to give it to you in front of everyone," my best friend explains.

I give him a confused look, "uh, okay weirdo," I say and let him lead me to the back of his car. "Are you going to knock me out and stuff me in your trunk?" I jest as he lifts the trunk door of his minivan open.

"Maybe next birthday," he tags along in my joke with his back facing me.

I cross my arms, rubbing my biceps to generate some warmth into my my body. "It's freezing, hurry up," I whine more and try to look over Preston's should to see what he's doing. I think he's setting something up?

"You're a baby. It's fifty degrees out."

"Thirty actually and when you're used to a hundred degrees, thirty degree weather feels like death."

Preston turns around, smiles broadly at me, then takes a step to the left. "Happy birthday," he tells me, stretching out his arm to gesture to the gift that sat in his- for once clean- trunk.

My jaw drops and I can't help the immediate smile forming on my face. "A typewriter? This is so fucking cool. Thank you!" I exclaim as I examine my gift happily.

It's a new, but vintage looking typewriter that says Olivetti in cursive on the top. It's faded black and looks expensive. There's one piece of paper strapped in with a phrase on it. Typed with ink, it reads, I love you.

"I'm gonna cry," I say half jokingly.

"You like it?" Preston questions and when I look at him, he looks nervous. Really nervous.

"Of course. Are you kidding? I've always wanted a typewriter," I tell him in awe.

"I know, 'cause you're such a nerd. Only you could get excited over a typewriter," he smiles. "Better write a New York Times Bestselling book with it."

I pull him into a hug and he wraps his arms tightly around my shoulders. "You're the best. And I love you too," I tell him.

We break away, my smile still broad, but before I can step back, Preston pulls me to him and kisses me.

😩