《Out of My Control [bxb]》Chapter 26
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Grayson's house is dark and empty when we get inside, and I'm thankful for that. As much as I like Grayson's mom, I really want to be alone with my boyfriend.
Grayson asks me if I want anything to eat or drink. I tell him water. While he gets us water, I head upstairs and to his bedroom which I'm accustom to at this point. I swing my bag to the ground and collapse onto his comfy mattress. His bed is made and the rest of the room is clutter free as per usual.
It's hard not to think about my mother's words. They bring back not-so-long-ago memories of all my internalized homophobia. Of me being a sinner. If Grayson wasn't there during my melt down, I think I wouldn't went down that rabbit hole again.
My boyfriend walks into his bedroom. "Here you go," Grayson hands me a plastic cup of water. The cup is green and he added a reusable orange straw. (I told him once that I like using straws. he's made sure to put one in my cups ever since).
"Thanks," I murmur and sit up to give Grayson room to sit next to me. We're both sitting crisscross with our knees touching.
Grayson rubs my knee tenderly, "tell me what happened."
I sigh and try not to choke up as I explain word for word, mine and my mom's bleak conversation. "I'm sorry," I finish with.
"Baby, you have absolutely nothing to apologize to me for. You are not your parents. And I know this is a setback and discouraging. But your parents don't know or love me. It's easy for them to pass judgment on me, but you're their son. They love you, so when you come out to them, it'll be different. Probably still bad at first, but-"
"That's reassuring," I mutter sarcastically.
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"But, it won't be as easy to turn away from you because you're their child."
I doubt that. I don't want to, but I find it hard to believe what Grayson's tell me after tonight. "Hopefully," I say nonetheless.
"But your brother's right. It'll take some time."
"Thank you for being here for me... I'm not talking physically cause obviously it's your bedroom."
Grayson chuckles then tells me seriously, "I know how hard it can be, but I just don't want you to give up hope."
A soft smile spreads across my lips though it doesn't reach too far.
We're in the middle of watching the second Twilight movie, New Moon, on Grayson's laptop when the doorbell rings. "Food!" Grayson exclaims and I pause the film as he gets up. We decided approximately forty minutes ago to order sushi (which Grayson paid for even though I declined several times).
Before he leaves the room, I ask, "hey, do you have a charger? My phone's about to die."
"Top drawer!" He shouts to me already out of his room to get the door.
I assume he's talking about the top drawer of his night stand, so I open it. Shuffling through the various junk for a charger, I come up with none. I go to the bottom drawer. Before I get the chance to rummage through it, I freeze when I spot all of the photos cluttering the drawer. I pick a few up and smile at how talented my boyfriend is then put them back, but notice a few photos folded in half together.
My curiosity gets the best of me as I reach for them and unfold the photographs. There are four photos in total. All of the pictures consists of Grayson in California and a guy next to him in each on.
My heart squeezes in a throbbing ache looking at how happy my boyfriend looks. Extremely happy. Head over heels in love. Does Grayson look this happy with me? My stomach churns at the thought of Grayson not being happier with me.
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The first photo doesn't give me the retching feeling the other two do. It's Grayson with his arm around the boy and they're both grinning ear-to-ear. The boy is as tall as Grayson and has dark brown, almost black, shaggy hair. One would say his hair is styled as your average fuck-boy's haircut which makes me grimace.
Though, I will say the boy has impeccable style when in comes to clothes and I think about how basic my wardrobe is.
Geez, could they be more aesthetically pleasing together?! Ugh!
The other three pictures are what really depresses me. The second one is a selfie of them at the beach kissing. And the mystery guy has a nice body! He definitely works out daily. Toned abs, muscular arms and calves.
The third, they're in front of the Hollywood sign and Grayson's looking at him with so much love and adoration.
The fourth one is the killer. It's a close up of his ex... shirtless. Looks as though Grayson took the picture while straddling the beautiful boy. They're in Grayson's bed. I can tell by the comforter covering the ex's lower half, but not by much. The ex is definitely naked.
I'm gonna puke.
I drop the photos in his bottom draw and push it shut. Okay, Reid, it's not a big deal. So what, he has an ex, you figured that. But, man, I didn't realize his ex was practically an American Eagle model!
"Oh baby, this looks sooo good!" Grayson drags out excitedly as he walks back into the room with our food. He grabbed us two plates, some napkins, and had a singular fork. "I don't wanna get anything on my bed. Let's eat on the floor," he tells me.
I stand up and give a small smile in hopes he doesn't realize how bothered I am.
"Ooo! Hold on a sec!" Grayson orders before I have a chance to sit down. He sets the bag with the sushi on the ground and sifts through his closet until he pulls out a blanket. It's a woven throw blanket with a bohemian style to it with neutral colors. Grayson lays it out on his carpeted floor then plops down. "An indoor picnic," he states with a gorgeous smile.
The smile is infectious, and I sit down across from him. He hands me chopsticks from the bag.
"You think I know how to use these?" I ask incredulously.
He chuckles, "that's why I brought you a fork," he holds up the silverware. I'm about to grab them until he pulls his hand back, so I can't reach.
"Hey," I pout.
"No, you have to try to use the chopsticks first."
"Baaaby," I draw out. "I can't," I tell him in a whiny voice which my boyfriend rolls his eyes at.
"Oh my god, yes you can. Watch me." Grayson takes his chopsticks out of the wrapper and breaks them apart. He demonstrates the proper way to hold them before picking up a sushi roll and shoving the whole thing in his mouth. "Now you," he demands with his mouth full.
"Close your mouth, you freak!" I exclaim as I cringe, but am laughing.
Grayson swallows then says, "I could listen to you laugh all day."
I scoff, but blush all the same.
We carry on with our shenanigans as we finish our dinner, me forgetting about the photos of his ex.
But not for long...
❤️
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can you love me most ✓
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