I called Grayson Saturday to tell him about my brother finding out about us and how well it went. Grayson had exclaimed how great that was, ("that's awesome, baby!" to be exact.) then asked me how I felt to which I said I was relieved. Vastly relieved. Now, I just have to gain the courage to tell others.

It's Sunday morning, and my mother walks into my bedroom. Knocking even though she already opened the door. Do people know how to knock before entering? But it's my mom, so I can't give her the attitude I'd give my brother.

"What's up?" I question. I'm still in my pajamas; plain, black joggers and a hoodie. Grayson's hoodie. It's burnt orange and embroidered with the words "Pleasantly Yours" which is very suiting. And yes, it does smell exactly like him. I don't plan on washing it.

"Why don't you go to Church with us?" My mother suggests. "I signed us all to help with the complementary breakfast afterwards."

"Uhh-" It's not that I don't want to go to church or that I stopped believing in God. I just have a different outlook on it now. I've realized through accepting myself, that God still loves me. As long as I keep God in my heart, and keep my intentions pure, I can still go to Heaven. If anything, I should be worried that I broke one of the Ten Commandments when I cheated on Alyssa, but we weren't married so I'm not too sure if that counts.

I just don't want to go to church because I don't want to listen to the lies Priest Matthew is going to inevitably tell when he claims that marriage is for man and wife only. He always brings up that 'belief' at least once in every mass.

My mom sighs and tells me, "Honey, you haven't gone in a couple months. You don't have to help out with breakfast, if you don't want to. I think you should go."

"Preston's coming over soon," I lie (I really have to go to confession). Preston and I haven't hung out in a while. It's not necessarily because I spend the majority of my time with Grayson. It's more so about me being paranoid I'll accidentally out myself to my best friend. Or he'll figure it out.

"You have school tomorrow," my mother states as if I didn't already know that.

I almost roll my eyes, almost. "I have all my homework done." I reference with my hand to the closed text books on my desk.

She sighs then gives in. "Fine. But I'd really like you to come with us next time."

"Sure," I agree, but that doesn't get her to leave. She's stares at me for, I swear, a whole minute before I say, "Was there anything else?"

"No," she shrugs. "I've just been thinking how you haven't spent as much time with your family lately," My mother informs me in her mock nonchalant tone.

Ugh, she loves to guilt trip me. "It's game night tonight. I'll spend time with you all then. I've just been busy with homework and stuff." Stuff being hanging out with Grayson any chance we can get alone.

"Okay," Tina lingers by my doorway. "I suppose Preston can join us if he wants. He hasn't been around in a while."

"Busy," I remind her.

"Right," she nods. "Okay, I'll leave you alone."

But before she walks out, I call her back "hey mom?"

She turns around, looking hopeful. "Yeah?"

"You look really nice," I tell her truthfully. She's wearing a patterned blue pencil dress with a matching necklace with a tan purse at her side. Her hair's straightened.

She smiles earnestly. "Thank you, Honey. I love you."

"Always?" I ask. Doesn't matter what her answer is, I don't know if I'll ever be ready to come out to my mom.

Still, in fills me with the slightest relief when she says, "Of course, sweetie. No matter what," she's firm with her answer as if that's the most honest she's ever been.

I hope that's true. I give a small smile, "I love you too," I reply.

After a few exchanges of texts (he was grumpy I texted him so early), Preston confirmed that he would be over by 11am. It's now 11:06

"Took you a long time," I jest as I open the door. Just in case you're wondering, I changed out of my pajamas. After I took a hot shower, I put on my tan, slim-fit chino pants, and a maroon Thrasher shirt. (Most of my closet consists of t-shirts from Zumiez).

The door shuts behind Preston and we both make our way the the living room. My living room has a blue and grey theme to it. With the main couch being navy blue along with the love-seat. The side tables, coffee table, and the entertainment center has a brushed grey finish to the wood. It's very modernized and is always kept clean.

"Awe, did you miss me?" My best friend coos. He aimlessly kicks his shoes off and I make a mental note to move them to the shoe rack before my mother returns home.

"Ha. Ha," I deadpan. "No, but you said you'd bring food," I gesture to his empty hands. "You clearly did not."

"No, I texted you, 'food?' which implied that you should make us, or at least me, food," he explains matter-of-factly.

"You're unbelievable," I scoff as I rummage through the shelves of our entertainment center, and decide on a Playstation game. "Sit your dumbass down, I'm picking the game," I tell him even though Preston would've also chosen Black Ops 2. We prefer the older games. Left 4 Dead 2 would be our second choice.

"What host you are," Preston mutters sarcastically, but complies and plops down on the couch. He takes the controller I hand him while I settle down next to him. My counsil takes a good minute to load the game, and when it finally does, we choose the Mob of the Dead map. "You should really get a PS5," Preston tells me.

"Yeah? Well why don't you use your rich parent's money and buy me one for my birthday."

"We're not rich," my best friend states. I'm reviving him from the zombies for the second time, and it's only been a minute of playing. Preston scoots to the edge of his seat as if being closer to the tv will better his chances at survival.

I can't help but roll my eyes at his 'not rich' comment. "Oh yeah? Where are your shorts from?" I ask to make my point. He looks down at his pale-red, 5" Vuori shorts (getting attacked by a zombie while doing so).

"Hey, I got these for Christmas!" He defends himself then claims, "You're just jealous." Then he shouts, "Fuck! It's because I'm playing on a PS4 instead of my PC!" He tries to justify his reasons for being a shitty player.

I chuckle, and the rest of the hour is us two talking smack to each other. By 12:15, my family comes home which means Preston and I move upstairs to my bedroom before my parents tell us what a good mass we missed.

In my bedroom, Preston and I are laying down on my bed and scrolling through our various social media.

"Dude! Did you see the video of all these upcoming Marvel movies?" I go to show Preston the video on my phone while saying, "There's so many to come and they-"

"You don't consider Grayson your best friend, right?" is the question that randomly falls out of Preston. Even though I was in the middle of a very important sentence.

"What?" I glance towards Preston's phone to see him creeping on one of Grayson's social media page. "Why are you looking through his page?"

"We follow each other. I'm allowed to look through my followers page. Answer my question," he demands as he puts his phone down and sits up.

Rolling my eyes is common when talking to Preston, but I sit up as well."You're my best friend," then I tell him, "I can have multiple best friends."

He gasps. Gasps. "No, you can't. Plus, it's obvious he's gay or at least not 100% straight. I mean," Preston picks his phone back up (it automatically unlocks with facial recognition), and shows me the screen. Grayson's feed is still up. "you can tell just by the way he dresses."

"That's stereotypical," I mutter as I take his phone from him and set it down. I feel nauseous. I hate when Preston brings up anything related to LGBT+. The ignorance is not unfounded when it comes to my best friend.

"Well, am I wrong?"

"How would I know?" I ask, not trying to look at him. "And plus, does it matter if he was?" I glance at him to catch some form of disgust on his face. But surprisingly there is none.

"No, that's not what I'm saying."

"What are you trying to say then?" I inquire and try not to come off so defensive.

"I don't know," Preston shrugs. "If I was into guys and spending so much time with you it's probably because I have a crush on you."

"Crush? Are we in middle school?" I tease him.

"Ugh whatever. Have feelings for you, or something."

"Or, it's because he's my friend and you're just jealous that I hang out with someone other than you."

"I am jealous," Preston huffs. "I want you all to myself."

"I think you're gay."

He scoffs and shoves my left shoulder, "you wish." I definitely do not wish, but I think that would bruise his ego even still that he's straight. "All I'm saying is you spend a lot of time with him."

"How would you know?"

"Uh, because we live next door to each other," Preston says with a 'duh' tone. "Think I don't see his car here all the time?" Thank God I have a tall fence around my house or I'd be worried Preston saw Grayson and I kissing on the hammock as well. I think he would've confronted me way sooner

"We're in the same classes, so we do homework a lot together. It's not like we are hanging out and playing video games, just homework." I risk looking at Preston and I regret it. His eyes are squinted like he's questioning my truth.

"Just homework," he repeats.

I shrug and look away, "Just homework," I lie to my best friend.

How's Preston going to react when he finds out it's much more than 'just homework' between Grayson and I? God, I can't even think about that.

But, I have a sickening feeling Preston won't be in the dark about my relationship with Grayson much longer.

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