That night, Grayson had texted me his address and told me I should come over by eight.

I told him I wouldn't be showing up, and yet here I am, parked in his driveway at 7:57, texting my mother that I have to work on a school project with Preston.

I should've gone to the movies with my friends.

I don't know why I decided not to tell my friends about his party. Though based on the cars around, or lack thereof, either I'm hella early, or there is no party and Grayson lied to get me over to his house. I assume it's the latter.

Sighing, I turn off my car before making my way up to his front door and ringing the doorbell. Within seconds, Grayson answers the door.

God, he looks good. Grayson is wearing a pale pink t-shirt over grey joggers. I know, simple. But he still looks perfect.

"I didn't think you'd actually show up," Grayson tells me with his signature smirk.

I roll my eyes, "BS, you knew I'd come over, though now I'm regretting it. You said you were throwing a party."

He grins mischievously "Change of plans." Bullshit. I can see it in his devious eyes how bullshit that is. He never planned a party. Shit, Reid, what did you get yourself into?

"So, you gonna come in, or continue standing in the doorway?" Grayson asks as he steps aside. I nervously look around the neighborhood. I don't know why, but I feel like if someone sees me go into Grayson's house they'll know something is going on between us. There isn't, but people might think there is.

I sigh and hesitantly walk in. He shuts the door, "wanna go up to my bedroom?"

The fluttering feeling starts up again in my stomach. "Are we the only ones here?" I ask, ignoring his question.

"My mom's at work. Late hours as a nurse."

"No siblings?"

"An older sister, she's in college. A younger brother and sister, but they don't live here."

"Where do they live?" I press.

"That's a story for another time. So upstairs...?"

I try to gulp down my nerves. "Uh y- yeah. Sure. Yes. We can go up... stairs. That wouldn't be a problem. Nothing will happen upstairs. It's just your bedroom. It's not like-"

"I'm not gonna pounce on you, Reid," he reassures me with a chuckle, "unless you want me to," he winks and I blush.

"Want anything to drink or eat?" Grayson motions to his kitchen.

"I'm good," I tell him. I'm way to anxious to eat or drink anything right now.

"Cool. Let's go upstairs then."

I take a deep breath and follow him step after step, wondering what the Hell is wrong with me? Why am I so nervous? Stuttering like a damn fool.

Upstairs, we enter the second door to the left. His bedroom is nothing like I expected. I guess I never really thought about what his room would be like, but if I had, this isn't it.

Grayson's walls are covered inch by inch with photos. And not photos of himself with friends, but of nature and landscapes. There are two white shelves that hang on his wall, both of which display all types of cameras. His Queen sized bed is against the wall in the corner on the right side of his room with a white nightstand next to it. His dresser was against the wall on the opposite side of the bed. That too is white.

"Oh my God," I say, awestruck by all the amazing photographs. I graze my fingers across a few. "You took these?"

I turn to Grayson and see him shrug, "Yeah."

"Wow, you're an amazing photographer," I claim in awe, giving him a genuine smile.

"It's whatever," he says nonchalantly.

I roll my eyes, but am smiling. "Shut up. Stop being so modest. You're good."

Grayson steps closer to me. "I'm good at other things too," he whispers suggestively causing me- once again- to blush.

I take a step back and try to focus on something other than Grayson's stunning face. Like the fake green succulents that are perfectly placed around his room. Or how the color theme of his room is white, beige, and green. "So is that what you wanna do? Like are you gonna major in Photography in college?" I query, ignoring his innuendo.

"Probably not. I'd minor in it though."

I look at him, thrown by his nonchalance. "What? Why?"

Grayson sighs and sits on his bed. The fluffy, white duvet looking tempting to snuggle up in. That's when my eyes are drawn to a big purple hippopotamus stuffed animal that lays comfortably along the edge of Grayson's bed."Photographers don't make that much money as it is, so I figured I'd just follow in my mom's steps, go for my doctorate, and just be a photographer on the side or just as a hobby."

I tear my eyes from the hippopotamus and his aesthetically pleasing bedroom to face Grayson. Who, of which, is equally aesthetically pleasing. "You wanna work in a hospital? With dead people?" I ponder, with my eyebrows raised at him.

"You can't see it? Dr. Clarke? I'd be a hot doctor. And I'd be saving people's lives so I wouldn't be with dead people," Grayson tells me simply. Then he adds, "Plus, makes good pay."

I frown. "The world deserves to see your work."

He rolls his beautiful blue eyes, but is hinting at a smile, "The world doesn't deserve shit. And no one cares to look at pictures of flowers," Grayson says.

"I care," I murmur. "And they're not just pictures of flowers, Grayson. You take something, so simple and basic, and capture it in the most beautiful way. I mean, you're obviously proud of your work if you showcase it all over your walls. People would want to see them."

Grayson smiles to perfection and grabs my hands, taking me off guard. He pulls me over and makes me sit on the bed next to him. "I knew there was a reason I like you. Other than the fact that you're a great kisser."

My face burns and my stomach does flip-flops. It's like I can't not blush when I'm around him!

Grayson chuckles, then more seriously, he says "Thank you. That means a lot actually. And you're right, I am very proud of my work and it would be amazing to display them to people, but I just... I don't know," he says then shrugs again. "Let's not talk about me. I wanna know about you."

"What about me?" I ask, fidgeting with the hem of my jean jacket.

"What are your hobbies? What do you want to major in? Do you even plan on going to college?"

"I like to write. Love to write. I hope one day I can get a book published. That's my dream. I'd like to be an English teacher, so I'm gonna major in English, obviously," I chuckle.

Grayson smiles "I'd love to read something of yours."

"Ma- maybe," I suddenly feel nervous and I'm just now realizing the close proximity of Grayson and I. We're so close, our thighs are smushed together.

"You're cute when you stutter," he whispers. I now have this newfound love for the word 'cute'. Especially when it rolls off of Grayson's tongue and it's directed at me. Grayson glances down at my lips causing my heart rate to skyrocket. "Can I..." He leans into me but stops barely an inch away from my mouth. My breath catches in my throat. "...kiss you?" He asks so softly, I'm surprised I even caught it.

My breathing is shallow and I'm unable to speak, so instead, I nod. I don't know what compelled me to do so, but I just can't help it. When Grayson's near me, my mind goes blank and all logic gets thrown away. Everything about Grayson is so alluring, I find myself wanting to know everything about him.

Grayson's lips slowly connect with mine and my entire body ignites in flames. He continues moving his lips against my mouth and I don't realize that I have yet to kiss him back and close my eyes until he grips my waist firmly. Taking the hint, I close my eyes and my lips take action.

It's awkward and messy as I am unaware of what to do with my hands. Grayson, on the other hand, knows exactly what to do. His hand snakes to the back of my head and he takes control, getting our kiss to fall in sync and into a perfectly slow rhythm.

I feel Grayson's warm tongue glide against my bottom lip, and I know what he wants. Before I can over think it, I wrap my arms around his neck and open my mouth for his tongue to find mine. Grayson lays me down onto his mattress ever-so-gently, and I moan against his lips when his hand slips underneath my shirt and makes contact with my skin.

My heart's thudding against my chest and I wonder if he can feel it with his body pressed against mine. With my mind clouded with lust, my fingers roam every inch they can reach until they're tugging at his shirt, pleading to feel more of him.

Grayson gets the message and pulls back briefly to discard his shirt. I'm practically panting when his lips move to my neck and start kissing and sucking right below my ear where— just now— I've discovered is my weakness.

Oh God, I'm making out with Grayson Clarke. A boy. A very attractive boy. A very attractive boy who brings me pure bliss.

That's when reality clicks it.

Putting my hands on his chest, I push Grayson off of me, and hastily stand up. My hands go to my hair and I begin to pace the room in a panic. "Oh my God," I say, still slightly out of breath. "What the hell is wrong with me? I- I'm not like this! I'm not like this! I can't be like this!" The overwhelming feeling to cry takes over me, but I blink them away. "Why the fuck are you making me feel this way?"

"Woah, Reid, take deep breaths. You're okay," Grayson tells me as he cautiously stands up, pulling his shirt back on.

Oh God, I wanted his shirt off!! What's wrong with me?

I ignore him and start hyperventilating. I look at him with wide, crazed eyes, "Do you know how religious my family is! They'd hate me! I hate me!" Now that I'm having a full blown panic attack, I can't stop the tears from streaming down my eyes. "I can't believe I just kissed you! I'm sorry, I can't do this!" I rush to the door, but before I could make it, Grayson grabs my wrist.

"Stop. Hey," Grayson redirects me to his bed. "Take deep breaths," he instructs, rubbing his hands up and down my arms.

"I can't breathe," I push him away from me as I stumble off his bed, but am still standing. I haven't had a panic attack in so long and right now, my panic attack is in full swing. "My dad will hate me. What will my Mother think? My brother? I can't-"

"Hey, it's okay, it's okay," Grayson repeats, gently grabbing my forearms and lowering us so we're in a kneeling position. "Let go of your hair," he tells me in a soft voice which made me realize I was gripping it so hard. I hesitantly do as told, and Grayson soothingly rubs his thumbs over my palms. "You're okay," Grayson tells me.

Fuck, I can't believe Grayson's seeing me like that. This is so embarrassing! "I have to go," I say in a panic as I stand up and make my way to the door again.

"Wait!" Grayson calls to me, getting up quickly. "Don't leave, let's just—"

"I'm not gay!" I shout, turning to look at him, feeling the need to defend myself.

"I get that it's scary and confusing to go through this, trust me I-."

"I'm not like you! I'm not gay," I repeat.

Grayson gives me a sympathetic look "If you're not gay, why'd you kiss me?"

"Because I— because you practically forced me!" I know this is wrong; Grayson didn't force me. He asked to kiss me and I let him. How messed up am I?

Grayson now looks less concerned and more hurt, "I didn't force you and you know it. You loved kissing me. You loved my tongue in your mouth. You were even moaning."

"Shut up!" I yell.

He takes a step closer to me and slowly drags his hand down my chest and stops just above the waist in my jeans. The summersaults in my stomach start up again. "And I could feel you getting excited," he says referring to my lower region.

My face fiercely heats up and I shove him back when his hand starts moving lower. "Stay away from me," I demand through gritted teeth. "and don't fucking touch me." I yank his bedroom door open, and this time Grayson doesn't stop me as I run out of his room and quickly out the front door to my car.

😳