You know that feeling

that feeling as if you're drowning and there's no one, , no help out there,

at least not the ones that can see nor hear you?

even though you can hear their every move.

they don't know that your there.

And you can't call out for help.

You can't really walk or talk.

When you're crying on the floor and no one's to help you?

When you're stuck there

stuck there in what feels like the worst hell you've been through in a while. .

When your body isn't doing what you want it to. .

no,

rather

what you need it to.

Taking things out on you.

At least, that's what it's felt like.

That my body is fighting it's self while I try my damn hardest to stay conscious.

Do you know what it feels like to feel like you're suffocating:

Even though there's air all around you?

To feel like your lungs can't keep up?

To feel they can't keep up with what you want them to do.

And all the while, you feel as if no one around you actually cares,

at least the not the one that you wanted to.

I know this may come of rather sad, but, I'm just being frank, here.

Now you know,

Now you know, that this is how I felt

And this is how I've feel every time I've had an attack.

It makes me feel, , , honestly . .

frustrated that I have to go through this and have been more lately.

At times it makes me feel like it'd kill me.

And there's nothing I can do, , except lay there and take it all in while it consumes every bit of my being.

And I hate it. .

But I'm greatful I'm still here to this day.

I often have to remind myself that I've come a long way, to give myself some credit because my body , , ,

It's

It's trying it's damned hardest.

I'm thankful for that, , , but still

Sometimes all you can do is wish upon the stars that you'd get better

or

rather

at least wish you'd have the chance to do so. . .