❦ SESSIONS ❦ WITH ❦ GUNS❦

|Secret passageways are disgusting|

❦❦

We stand in the hallway and there is truly nothing that much here. It looks exactly the same as the other hallways but he found himself stopping here for some reason. He still holds my hand and I get the feeling that he doesn't want to let go of it and neither do I want to let go of his hand. It makes me feel warm inside and it brings forth this safety feeling that I feel, despite him having threatened me only moments before by holding a gun at my body and was ready to shoot me.

I open my mouth to speak but he beats me to it. "In here there is a dark hallway that leads to the library. The floor is muddy and wet. The walls are slimy and everything is covered in cobwebs. Bugs and insects are there. If you scream I'll throw you on the ground!" He harshly says to me as we stand in front of the wall but I don't see how this can be a door or even a hallway other than the one that we stand in. I nod at his words but somehow the things that he says make me want to go back to the room.

He puts his other hand on the wall and gently pushes it. I gasp when the wall opens and something so dark stands in front of me but if I did not know better, I'd say that was a secret passageway. I gape at it but I close my mouth when he begins to drag me into the darkness. I can barely see where we're going so I hold tighter to his hand to let him lead me on. My bare feet dig themselves into the wet mud making me feel disgusting and I think it's a good thing that I can't see it.

I don't dare toughing the walls since everything that he has said has been true and I don't want to touch them because I don't even know where they are or how tight this hallway is and I'm not going to feel for it. "Scared?" He asks me but he already knows the answer and it does amuse him since I am afraid. The heart which is beating fast in my chest says it all what I'm feeling and most of it is fear that is inside me.

Both fear of him and fear of this hallway and things that could be lurking around here. However, even when I'm afraid of him, I feel like I'm safe. It is confusing to me. He doesn't say anything after that and neither do I, I'm not even sure what I can say to him in this hallway. Feeling like there is this thin line between us that I don't really like, that if I do something that I shouldn't then he will do something bad to me and he will hurt me.

I don't know where this line is and I'm afraid to step over it. "We're here" He speaks as he stops suddenly. My eyes are starting to get used to this darkness but there is very little that I can see and I wonder how he can see in this darkness and know where to go but then I remember that he has been here since he was child so he probably knows where to go and has memorized everything about this mansion and its secret passageways that I can't even begin to think about or know where they hide.

He pushes something and then the light is the first thing that is met with me but then I notice that it's the library. I don't know from where we are coming from but it is somewhere and it is in the library. "How is this possible?" I ask him. We don't go into the library since our feet are horribly disgusting and the carpet that is on the floor would get dirty. "You ask the wrong person for that" He answers. It's actually kind of strange that he actually did answer my question, that truly doesn't happen that often.

Normally he just comes up with something to say or something to ask me which I have to answer but this time he was the one that answered, it was not that much of an answer but I think that he doesn't know the true answer to it despite him knowing a lot of this place. "Did you come here with us to be in this mansion again?" I ask him as he closes the door or the wall of the library and we're in the darkness once again. He scoffs and I can already imagine him rolling his eyes.

"That and another reason" He tells me but doesn't say anything more than that and I know better than to ask. It's not good to ask him that many questions if we're not in sessions. We're walking through the mud which I'm trying not to think about as it feels disgusting to step on and I sink into it with each step that my legs take and it's not that good and I wish that I did not have to walk here but this was sort of my own fault that I'm here. "What other reason?" I ask him without meaning to.

I truly did not think before asking as I knew that I shouldn't have even asked in the first place and I wish that I had not asked that question to him but somehow I find myself wanting to know what other reason he could have for being here. The driver and the pilot had told me that he was doing some business but that can mean so much. I need something to narrow it down. "This is why you should be a journalist" He speaks but doesn't answer the question which I know he isn't going to.

❦

I walk into the bathroom and try not to dirty the floor that much which I seem to be failing at. When we had come out of the passageway, Silas had helped me to the bedroom and there he closed the door and locked it. Leaving me alone in here. I put my feet into the bathtub and wash them before I undress myself out of these dirty pajamas and then I take a shower to clean myself. I always felt like there was something crawling on me and I want to get rid of that feeling even when there is nothing on me.

When I step out of the shower, I wrap my body and hair in a towel and then I brush my teeth because I'm going straight to bed. It's been a long and a strange day. When I'm done with that I dry my body and dress myself in some fresh underwear and then into new pajamas as the ones that I was wearing had gotten a bit dirty. Brushing through my tangled hair as it slowly dries I head out of the room. I walk over and turn off the lights and go into the bed.

The soft bed which I never want to leave. It's so soft that I just love it so much. This truly is the best bed that I've ever had in my entire life and I'm not sure for how long I will be staying here but I'm going to enjoy the time that I do have with this bed. The covers are so warm when I get under them as my feet have been so cold since I had been walking with bare toes in the wet mud which had been so cold. When we had gone out I could barely feel my toes.

The shower did help but it also did hurt my toes a bit but now that I'm under the soft covers, I feel so warm and it doesn't take that long until they're warm. I lie down and look at the ceiling. My body is tired and I'm exhausted but somehow sleep doesn't want to find me and as I close my eyes, I find myself opening them up again. There is just so much on my mind that I can barely even allow myself to sleep even when I'm yawning every minute and exhausted.

This day has been a long one and I should sleep because tomorrow will most likely be a long one too which I'm not looking forward to but looking forward to it at the same time. I did make some progress with Silas today and he's opening up more about his past which is a step. The steps are going to be many but still, it is a step and soon he will be much better and he can finally be the person that is deep inside him, the one that I know is there but buried deep inside him.

With Silas only Silas on my mind I find myself slowly slipping into the darkness and I allow it to take me into sleep as I feel myself sinking but it doesn't matter because I'm thinking of him and how he will save me from the darkness and make sure that it doesn't hurt me like he had done when we were walking in the passageway and with that I let out a yawn before I'm completely gone into the magical world of the dreams where everything in possible and the world is completely magical and freeing as the unicorns live there.

❦

Days pass and eventually it becomes a couple of weeks and as I sit in the office with Silas in front of me and a smile on my face. He always has the gun pointed at me but he said that it was only because he wanted to scare me but his gun doesn't scare me anymore because I know that he would never hurt me. Not when I've fallen so deep in love with him. With the weeks my feelings for him only deepened and I found myself so far in love with him that it's unreal to me and to every reasoning that I know.

Never did I feel this in love with Adam. Now, I'm not even sure that what I felt for Adam was even love at all. I don't know how Silas feels about me but he is much more open now than he was before and he is slowly answering all of the questions that I have in mind and what I want to know about him. He has always been asking me questions which I've answered truthfully and as best as I can which sometimes can be a bit hard because some of the things that he asks are things that I don't even know.

Trying to act like I'm not in love with him is the hardest thing I've ever had to do because not telling him is making me feel worse about everything and I feel like it's going to tear me up from the inside out and it's hurting my heart even when my heart is the one that loves him the most. I don't know how I fell for him nor do I know how that was possible but I know how I feel. Silas has been so kind to me and he has done so much for me.

Each and every day I spend by the beach and I've actually gotten a good tan and often he would come too but not that often. After that we would go into the library and read. Sometimes he would have meetings which he has forbidden me to be even close to because he doesn't want to me be scared. But every evening we have a session and sometimes we just talk. Sometimes it doesn't feel like these are sessions at all but the two of just talking to each other.

Spending time with him is far most the most amazing thing I've ever done in my life and I love the times that we're together. "Leanna" He says and I break from my trance. That also happens a lot. I get lost in a trance or I space out but most of the time I'm thinking about him, though he doesn't need know that part. "Sorry" I say as the deep red rises to my cheeks and I look away from him which does earn me a laugh. He can laugh like a normal person and not like someone that wants to kill you.

"What is your favorite flavor of ice cream?" Silas asks me and I giggle. "Ice cream?" I ask him. Unsure if my ears had picked that up right but I think I did hear ice cream. I raise an eyebrow at him as I have no idea why this came up while we're in a session. It's also late in the evening or about ten and it does not make any sense why he would want to ask me about ice cream. "Answer the question, Leanna" He tells me. I just love it when he says my name.

It sounds so right when it comes from his lips and it feels perfect when it rolls of his tongue. I like hearing it and I like it when he says my name like that. "I don't know, strawberry or salted caramel" I say, still confused and unsure of what is happening or why that would come up. We would ask each other strange questions before, like our childhood memories, however something like this has never come up. "Do you want ice cream?" He then asks me and my eyebrows furrow in pure confusion as I have no clue what has brought this on.

Anything that has to do with fun and joy and even unicorns and rainbows he has said is stupid and he doesn't want to hear it but now he is suggesting ice cream. "I'm always in a mood for ice cream but now is a bit late for it. It's not healthy for the teeth since I will be brushing them soon" I tell him but he shakes his head and chuckles at me. The way that there is amusement in his eyes when he looks at me makes me wonder if I have done something right or wrong and he is laughing at me.

"Nonsense. Come now" He tells me as he stands up and puts his gun in his holster which I've gotten used to. He still hasn't found the gun that I hid in the library and I pray that he will never find it again. I sometimes check to make sure that it is there but I don't want to think about that now. I'm getting ice cream... that is unexpected but still I want ice cream as it has been so long. "What is your favorite flavor?" I ask him but he smirks at me.