❦ SESSIONS ❦ WITH ❦ GUNS❦

|Two hearts beat as one|

❦❦

Half an hour later of watching the outside through the window and wondering when I will be able to be out there in the ocean but the door finally unlocks and Silas steps inside. I glare at him. "Why did you lock me in here?" I ask him as I walk over to him. Silas only smirks at me and gestures for me to follow him and I do but he doesn't answer my question and I get the feeling that he's not going to answer it any time soon, that I can tell.

I follow him out the bedroom and into the hallways but I'm still a bit annoyed with him as he did lock me in there, again. I wonder if that is going to be something that he's going to keep doing from now on but I think that he's doing this only to annoy me since it seems he likes to do that. I notice that he has changed his clothes. Now he wears loose pants and a t-shirt. Is he going to join me out there? Do I want him to be there with me? I'm not sure if I want to know the answer to that.

But I can't think of that now as he opens the door to the world outside and I smile with joy as the sun kisses my skin as I'm outside, it warms me sweetly as I feel myself walk to the ocean. It is as if I'm compelled to walk over there. My bare feet burn by the hot ground but it doesn't matter to me as I walk over there. The soft and quiet breeze blows past me yet it is barely there and I can barely feel the touch on my skin.

Going over to the sand where tickles my toes with delight and I let out a giggle and a laugh. I lay one of the towels down and then I put the other one on that one and then I take off the t-shirt and the shorts that I'm wearing and I continue my walk to the ocean. I can smell the scent of it and I can hear how it moves. The waves are so majestic that it's unreal. This is everything and I wonder how people walk past this and just don't bother to look at this beauty.

Walking over to the ocean until my feet touch the wet sand and I allow the water to touch my skin. It's warm and comfortable. I don't look but I know that Silas is behind me but he doesn't matter to me right now. I walk deeper into the ocean until the water reaches to my knees and even then I go further. The waves are a bit stronger, though none of that matters as I'm actually in the ocean. This is everything to me, it's amazing in ways that I can't even begin to explain in words.

I close my eyes as I walk on the sandy bottom and walk deeper into the ocean. This feels amazing and while the ocean is warm it is still cooler than the sun and it does cool me down while I'm there. When I open my eyes again the water has gone to my mid chest and only then do I turn around to notice that on the beach Silas stands there near a tree which he leans against and he watches me, his eyes are on me and I grin at him when I meet his gaze.

I look down at the water and some of it clear but other parts aren't so clear and while I can't see the bottom where my feet are, I know that there is only sand. I'm not sure if there is any fish around here but I've not seen any but then again I think they would swim away if I approach or go near them so I don't even think I would be able to see any fish even if I wanted to see them. A laugh escapes past my lips as I play with the ocean water.

Taking into my hands which I've made into a large bowl and then throw above me and let the drops fall down at me with so much joy. This is so perfect. The ocean is amazing and I wish I could never leave but I know that I will have to leave some time later but for now I'm going to enjoy this moment. I'm not going to attempt to dive into the water because of the salt which I don't want to get into my eyes. Perhaps that is for later. I make a mental note to get goggles when I come here later.

I continue to let the water rain on me for some time before I allow my back to float and I lie my head down as if I'm a star and I let myself just float around but I keep in mind to not go too far into the ocean. That would be a bad idea but I know that Silas is watching me. I'm not sure why he's watching me but I know that he is. I can just feel his kohl black gaze on me and I can feel how he watches me from the beach.

Because facing the sky and the sun that is so bright I close my eyes and just let myself float like a star for a moment. "Am I going to have to fish for your corpse soon?" Silas asks me, startling me to the point where I almost go with my head into the water but I manage to keep myself up as I look at him. He's in the water and I'm deeper than I was before. The water reaches now to my chin while it reaches to his chest. I notice that he isn't wearing his t-shirt anymore and I gulp.

"What does that mean?" I ask him as I hold myself up by swimming as it's uncomfortable to try to reach the bottom with my toes to keep my head up. "I mean that I believe you were dead" He speaks to me and for some reason I can see fear inside his eyes. Fear that I'm not sure has ever been there before and somehow I feel this blush rise to my cheeks and I wonder if it is because of his fear for my life or him that I'm blushing like this.

Perhaps both, though I can't be sure of it, I can't be sure of anything. "I was enjoying myself in the water. Did you really come out here to see if I were all right?" I ask him but he doesn't answer. In fact he turns around and starts walking back to the sandy beach. I swim after him but make sure not to get my head under the water. I catch up with him. "I think it's actually kind of sweet" I tell him but he doesn't turn to face me as he walks and he sits down on the sand.

It's only then that I notice that he's only wearing shorts and I can see his abs. His six-pack and I feel the blush on my face deepen as I look away from him and walk on the beach. The water drips down from me as I walk to the towel. I wrap one towel around me while I sit down on the other one. Now, the breeze that did not matter to me does feel a bit cold as the water cools me down while the sun is not fast enough to warming me up.

"You don't have to feel ashamed for wanting me to be alive. It is a human instinct to wish to save others and I understand why you do it. It is what makes us human" I tell him but he doesn't look at me now. His gaze is locked at the ocean and I turn to face what he's seeing but he's just watching the ocean where it endlessly goes for miles and miles and I wonder what he's thinking. "If you were hurt, I would've jumped into that water without hesitation, you know" I tell him and I'm speaking the truth.

I don't know if he knows that I'm telling the truth but what he thinks of it doesn't matter because I pray that it will never come to that, that he would get hurt and I would have to safe him, even when I would not hesitate to do so but I don't want him nor anyone to get hurt. "Why?" He asks after a moment or two have passed by as we stare at the ocean, each thinking something but not sure if we're thinking the same thing. "Despite what you believe, I care for you" I tell him.

It wasn't until the words had come out of my mouth that I realize just how true they were. I might not have known him for so long but he has warmed himself into my heart and he's there to stay and I do care about him, more than others or even myself care to admit. It's strange to think that I care for him. "You shouldn't" He tells me before he stands up and before I could even utter a single words he has walked away and gone inside while I remain out here on the small beach.

Sighing as I watch him leave before my eyes return to the ocean. Somehow I know that he's watching me but I'm not going to let him know that I can feel his gaze on me from some window that he's watching from. I just look at the ocean. I remove the towel from my body and put it side as I lie down and close my eyes under the sunlight, allowing my thoughts to wander before the darkness has swallowed me and I allow it to take me despite the brightness from the shining sunlight above my body.

❦

My eyes flutter open and I look to see that I'm inside. Lying down on the bed in the bedroom. The soft bed that I love so much that I don't want to leave. Sitting up I'm under the covers but I'm wearing pajamas. I shiver as I think that someone changed me. I don't know who took me inside and I get the feeling that I don't want to know and I know that I'm not sure if I want to know who changed my clothes. I stand up from the bed. The sun is still shining and I can feel how the rays bring the warmth inside and the happiness along with it.

The brightness lights the room so much that I'm not even sure why there are lights in this room at all as the sun just does it alone. I walk over to the door to see that it's locked but I already knew that so I head for the library and look around for some interesting book to read while I'm stuck inside the room for who knows how long. It seems that only Silas can open the door and he does it whenever he feels like it.

No matter how much it does annoy me, which I think is the reason why he does it. Walking around the library I find so many books that I would like to read but I don't know which one to pick first. My feet take me everywhere around the library until I find a book that I want to start on and it does look interesting. Taking it out of the shelf and bringing it back to the bedroom I walk inside. Only to be startled by Silas sitting on my bed and I nearly drop the book.

I approach him as he smirks at me. Is there always going to be something here when I come from the library? This is getting pretty old and I don't like it that much. "What are you doing here?" I ask him as I put the book down on a table. His eyes are watching my every movement like a hawk and I feel nervous under his gaze. His kohl black eyes aren't showing me what is deep inside them but I did not expect them to either. "Why is it that I always seem to stop...?" He asks me but I furrow my eyebrows at him in confusion.

He stands up and walks over to me. His gun has been taken from his holster and is now in his hand. His finger on the trigger and I wonder if this is the time that he's going to shoot me but he lowers his gun to the ground. "Stop what?" I ask him quietly. The words had come out of my mouth before I even had the time to stop myself from speaking, I had not meant to say that but I don't regret it when the words come from my mouth.

He doesn't answer me but that is something that I'm getting used to. He keeps so much hidden and when I try to ask him things and get to know who he is he closes off, he's so defensive that I don't even know if he realizes that he's doing it. He takes my wrist and his touch sends shivers running up and down my whole body. His other hand is holding the gun which he drops to the floor as he pulls me by the wrist closer to him and the hand that once held the gun wraps itself around my waist.

I'm up against his chest and I can feel his heartbeat and I can feel how it beats faster than what I would've expected, perhaps the rhythm of his heart matches mine as my own heart is speeding when he's so close to me. He leans with his head to my neck as he still holds me. I'm not sure what is happening but I know that I like being so close to him and the goosebumps rise when his hot breath hits my skin. What is this man doing to me? I'm not sure if that question will ever be answered or perhaps it will... someday.

"Why can't I kill you?" He whispers to me and the fear rises within me as I let out a quiet gasp. He raises his head to look at me. "Why can't I find it in myself to see you dead?" He asks so softly that I wonder if this is even him speaking at all. "Why does it pain me to think you gone?" He asks. His voice is so soft and alluring that I'm not even sure how that is possible. I don't know how to answer the questions. "Why does my heart beat for you?" He then asks.