❦ SESSIONS ❦ WITH ❦ GUNS❦

|Jumped on|

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Thursday, be ready.

That was all the note said and it was addressed to me but I don't understand it. Not once bit. Why would I not be ready on Thursday. I'm ready every day. Shaking my head I walk over to the trash and throw away then note. Whatever he wants to tell me, he can say it to me myself and not write it down on a note that I may or may not see since it was in a s spot that was hard for me to see and it was close that I wouldn't see it at all but I did notice it.

I could've gone on with my life without knowing that this note was even there at all so thus really doesn't have any impact on my life. I'm sure Silas just needs to tell me something but didn't know how to say the words. Some find it better to write down the words want to say or the emotions that they feel because they simply can't express themselves differently and perhaps that is happening with Silas. But I will find all of this out on Thursday when my next session is with him.

Collecting myself I go to my desk to put away his folder and take the next one up as I have a session in a couple of minutes and I need to be ready for him. Like Silas I have a new patient that isn't exactly happy about being here, he's more on the aggressive side but I think that is because no one has been gentle with him and he doesn't know anything else. The door opens and two guards walk inside with him in chains and it always feels strange when they bring someone that is in chains.

I had gotten so used to Silas wearing no chains that I had forgotten that he is the only one that doesn't have to be in those chains. He put him on the other brown leather chair and then they leave after nodding at me and the two of us are alone. I sit down on own chair and smile at him which makes him even grumpier. That reminds me only of Silas but I can feel that I'm winning over him. This man however glares at me which I'm starting to believe is his natural face since he seems to always be glaring at me and anyone else for that matter.

"Have you ever tried smiling?" I ask him and he groans but I'm not giving up on him. He has told me that he doesn't like therapist but doesn't want to tell me why. I've already figured out that is the reason why he's so grumpy every time I see him but the reason behind it is still unknown to me. "Smiling can be a good way to improve the self-esteem. When feeling down, smiling can be the thing that keeps you up" I tell him but he doesn't say anything.

Like Silas he doesn't like sharing but that doesn't stop me from trying but not too much because I can't overwhelm him. He's also a lot like Silas in the way that he doesn't want to speak that much but unlike Silas who has started to speak more openly now, this one doesn't want to speak that much but he has said a few things. Mainly cursed at me and said he doesn't like therapist and yes, I think, that about covers the things that he has said which for a normal person that isn't anything but to me that means a lot.

The cursing part not so much but it means he has anger inside him that needs to be let out in one way or another and that way is by talking and explaining what he's feeling inside. But he's not there yet. "Is there anything you want to talk about today, I heard that you were disagreeing with your cellmate. Want to tell me what that was all about?" I ask him but he only frowns at me but the glare remains as strong and as terrifying as ever.

Before I could react he attempts to stand up and as he does that he takes my wrist into his hand and holds it tight. Pain runs through me as I try to pry my wrist away from his strong grip. His slightly long uncut fingernails dig themselves into my wrist until I can feel the blood dripping down. I bite my lips to stop myself from screaming in pain. I look into his eyes to see nothing at all, there is only darkness and it's like he isn't here at all. Gasping as I try to reach under my chair where there is a large button.

Used only for when something like this happens. "Could you please let me go?" I kindly try to ask him with tears streaming down my face as he holds me even tighter. Feeling my fingers starts to grow numb because of his grip and the tears continue their way down my face as I managed to push the button and in less than three seconds the guards enter the office and they hold him. Everything goes blurry from the tears in my eyes but finally my hand is free.

I sit on the chair breathing heavily as I hold my now bleeding wrist. It isn't bleeding that much but on four places where his fingernails did dig themselves into my skin. The mark of his fingers is still visible and I'm sure that it will leave a bruise. "Are you all right, Dr. Russell?" A guard asks me and I nod my head as I wipe away my tears. "Just startled" I tell him as they take him out of my office and soon I'm left all alone. The pain isn't that intense but it was the shock that makes the tears continue to run down my cheeks like never before.

I'm panting as I can already feel my heartbeat going over the roof by beating so fast. The door to my office opens and Trina walks inside. She has a look of worry on her face as she comes over to me. "Aw, are you ok? I was so worried when I heard the news" She says and she pulls me in for a hug. I nod. "Yes, I'm fine. Just a bit shocked over this. It is the first time anything like this has ever happened" I tell her and she slowly nods as she holds me tight as we hug each other.

No prisoner has ever attacked me like that and would this be called an attack? I'm not sure. She gasps as she takes my wrist and examines it as I see a sad look on her face. "That's going to leave bruises. Aw, it's all right. Come with me to the infirmary, we'll get you something to clean up and put ice on it" She says and I nod as she helps me stand up even when I did not need it but I feel like she wants to do this.

As we are walking down the hallways I feel like everyone is looking at me and it makes me uncomfortable. News travel fast among the guards and I'm sure the whole prison has heard what happened by now but then again those things are quite common for therapist to have their patients attack them. That is why they are in chains and in the chair but it seems that somehow he fought against the chains. Thinking back to that moment I can't seem to recall exactly what took place as it happened to fast.

One minute we were talking and then the next I was feeling intense pain in my wrist when he had grabbed it and I'm not even sure how he was able to reach all the way over the table to my hand. There are so many questions that are left unanswered but I get the feeling that none of them are going to be answered any time soon for the world doesn't want me to know. Trina says something to me but I don't hear it, I'm lost in my head and I can't stop replaying that moment over and over again in my mind.

It was all I could see for some reason and no matter how much I tried to not think about it, I could not stop. A p;art of me told me that this was just one small moment in my life and I should not worry much about it because life will go on and everything will be better again yet the other part of me, the part that is winning is telling me that this incident is just one of many and the panic inside me agrees. This was the first time that I actually found myself fearing for my life. With that on my min I find myself sinking into the darkness and I fall limp on the floor.

❦

My eyes flutter open by a light but I'm quick to close them again because it was just too bright for me. Trying to move my body and I find myself feeling weak and somehow sore. I let out a groan as I open my eyes again, this time a bit wider as I try to see my surroundings. I notice that I'm in the infirmary and lying on a bed but there is no one inside at the moment.

For a couple of seconds I find myself confused at why I am here but then everything comes back to me and I let out a silent gasp as I sit up. Looking down at my wrist to see that some bandages have been put on but nothing else. On the side of the bed is a table with a glass of water which I reach with my other hand and slowly start to drink the water. The cool liquid feels nice running down my throat and I want more when the glass becomes empty.

Putting the glass back where it was I stand up from the bed and walk around the room. There are three other beds in this room but all of them are empty. There are also no windows in here because I know that prisoners often think of using the infirmary as a way of escape which is the hardest thing because the infirmary is the safest place to be and no one has ever escaped from here. I walk over to the door and open it which I find odd that it is unlocked and I walk into the hallway.

A guard notices me and walks over to me. "Are you feeling better, Dr. Russell?" He asks kindly. I notice that he's one of the younger guards that I've seen. I smile at him. "Yes, I'm much better. Thank you for asking" I tell him sweetly. I notice that on the wall the clock strikes about half past three in the afternoon and soon my work day will be over. "I'm glad. You gave us quite the scare before but I'm relieved you're feeling better. Anyway, I'm supposed to take you to the warden" He tells me.

I look up at him with a confused look at whiny the warden would want to see me now. I most likely have work to do and after what happened before I've lost time and my patients must be worried about me and why there isn't a session today. "All right" I only say, even when I wanted to ask what the warden wanted but I know that he doesn't tell the guards the reason for everything. We start making our way to the warden and all the way I could not stop wondering why the warden would want to see me as I don't have a clue for any reason why.

Soon we're in front of the warden's office and the guard leaves and I'm left alone. I knock on the door and soon I hear him call enter and I open the door. His office is warm in colors and just comfortable to be in. It does help with the nerves that I'm feeling. I see him sitting by his desk. "Welcome, Dr. Russell. Glad to see you're in a better shape. Sit" He offers with a smile and I sit down in front of his desk.

"Don't worry, I'm not firing you. Many get that impression when they're here like the principal's" He says and I giggle. "I wouldn't know, I was never set to the principal's office, I wouldn't even know how it looks" I tell him honestly. He just gives me a smile. "I know. Anyway, I came in here because as happens prisoners act out and I know of your work and how you don't want to know anything about the patient but it seems that in the light of this new incident that I have to tell you about him" He says and I look down to the ground.

Talking about this makes it real somehow like it truly had happened even when I know that it did take place. "The man that was in your office is one that doesn't have a name. He was not named at birth nor has a name been given to him. While I will not tell you his crimes for your wishes I will tell house why he did the things that he did. His mother. She was a therapist. Unlike you she was not a kind one. Some called her Demon because she never helped her patients, she turned them into the worst part of themselves" He says and I gasp at his words.

"She wasn't just horrible with her patients but also her children and they grew up on their own, surviving in any way they could. She was cruel to them, if their behavior was poor, she would beat them up. While I may not know everything, I do know that his hatred for therapist began there" He tells me. How horrible that he grew up like this with that woman. He must have had it so bad and he shouldn't have to fight like this.

A mother should care for her children and not hurt them. "I understand this is a shock to you but if you wish you don't have to see him again. We can make that happen. The safety of our therapist is important to us but also the comfort" He tells me and I think about it for a minute. "I want to continue seeing him, he's my patient and some just take longer to work with and I know some of them are going to be aggressive, but I can work with that" I tell him and he nods at me. "All right then, you may leave" He tells me as I stand up and walk out of his office.