❦ SESSIONS ❦ WITH ❦ GUNS❦

|What is the perfect date?|

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"Your disturbingly cherry today" Silas says as we sit in session the next day. "Of course I'm cherry, it's a new day and I've a ton of things to be happy about you. What about you, do you have anything to be happy today?" I ask him. It's Adam's birthday today and I've already planned something for him tonight and this day just makes me happy about it and I'm so excited. Silas stares at me with annoyed expression which only makes me giggle. "Despite how tough you want to be, there is always something one should be happy about" I tell him.

He rolls his eyes as he walks around my office which seems to be his favorite thing as he always does that when he's here. "Let me guess, health crap?" He asks me and I raise an eyebrow at him. "It's rude to swear" I tell him as I write that down but he only chuckles. "Can you be more like a child?" He asks me but I get the feeling that was not a question to be answered. "But yes, health is actually a thing we should be happy about, without good health I doubt you'd be here" I say to him with a soft smile on my face.

He laughs, mockingly at my words but I don't let that bother me. "Tell me, Leanna, why are you happy? Beside the obvious... yourself" He asks me and for a moment I grow confused. "Well, it's my fiancée's birthday today and I've a surprised planned for him but I do think we have deal, right? I tell you something and in return you will share something" I tell him and he chuckles as he walks over to the window but does not face me.

"I suppose I am a man of my word" He says as he faces me and I can't be sure what his kohl eyes are telling me, though there is something inside them that he wants to tell me but I have no idea what that is, he's holding back for some reason and I want to find out why but all in due time. "Happiness is a feeling that I've not felt in a long time" Silas says and for a moment I heard sadness in his voice but it also does sound like anger.

My heart feels for him and I want to hug him, show him that everyone deserves to feel happiness and joy and even love but I know that would be inappropriate and not what I should be doing even when my heart feels like it. "Everyone feels happiness, some just less than others and some can't even tell what it feels like. Sometimes happiness can also be when you're satisfied or proud of what you have accomplished. It doesn't have to be rainbows, though that is a good sign of happiness because even when it's raining, the sun can still show itself and fight" I say.

Silas watches me while I speak, his eyes staring only at me as if he's trying to figure me out, but his eyes also show something else. An emotion that I'm not sure what is as I've never seen it before. In a blink of an eye his emotions change and a hint of amusement comes across his eyes. "In that case, I feel rather happy when I wake up in the morning with a naked woman after a night of pure satisfaction" He tells me with a smirk on his face and I try to not cringe as I do not want to talk about these things.

"Well, I'm sure that is happiness but is there anything else that you feel happy about that is not... that?" I ask him with his intense stare at me. Chuckling he turns to face the window once more and his stare breaks off but I feel better for some reason but I also notice that my cheeks are burning and I'm blushing as the butterflies in my stomach are wanting to flutter there. "No" He answers and I write that down but I also write down that he's lying.

How do I know? I don't but I do know that everyone experiences happiness but sometimes they don't know what they're feeling and Silas has been happy but he doesn't want to share. "What surprise?" He asks me and I raise an eyebrow at his back in confusion. "Pardon?" I ask him puzzled. "What surprise do you have planned for your... fiancée?" He asks me and I come to a realization about what he was referring to. "Oh, well it's a surprise, I can't tell that to you" I tell him with a smile and he smirks at me as he sits down.

I have noticed that he always sits down when he wants to listen, it seems to be what he does but I'm not complaining about it. "A surprise for him and not me, surely it is not forbidden for me to know what has nothing to do with me" He says. Silas does make a point and he knows it too. "Well, I suppose there is no harm in telling you" I say but I'm still unsure of it. Why would he want to know what I have planned for my fiancée. I don't even think he knew I was engaged.

Somehow the thought of him knowing makes me feel things and not the good kinds of things but I don't know what they are, guilt? Sadness? I don't know and I don't want to find out. "Well, I've planned a dinner at his favorite restaurant and then when we get home, we're going to watch his favorite movie and cuddle. It's the perfect surprise for him" I say with a dreamy smile on my face, just thinking of my fiancée and how happy he will be tonight because I've got it all planned.

This night will be one that we will never be able to forget, that I am sure of. I look back at Silas to see him give me a disgusting look. "That is what you call a date?" He asks me and I raise an eyebrow at him. "Of course. How would you plan a date?" I ask him as I am ready to write it down what he says. Silas is an attractive young man and I'm sure he's taken someone special out on a perfect date. Somehow the thought of him on a date with someone else is hurting my heart.

He rolls his eyes as he stands up. "It would involve murder, sex and guns. Not something cheesy and rainbows like" He says as if the last sentence hurts to even speak and it makes me let out a small giggle. When he turns around to look at me I can tell that he only said that because he knew that I would not like it, because his eyes show amusement but there is also approval or at least I believe that is what his eyes are showing me. "I think your version is a bit too much but the cheesy and rainbows one does sound rather nice" I tell him with a smile.

"I'm going to throw up" He says and I raise an eyebrow. "All right, would you like a bucket?" I kindly ask him, if he needs to throw up then it's best he does it in the bucket because I don't think the guards will like it if he were to run out of my office, even if he were only going to the bathroom. Silas chuckles at me as he eyes me up and down. "Was that a sarcasm I just heard?" He asks me and I make a confused look as I raise an eyebrow.

"No. I just asked if you wanted a bucked because you said you need to throw up" I tell him, still puzzled and he lets out a small rough laugh. He rolls his eyes then looks at me. "You're different" He only says and looks away from me as he starts walking around my office once again. Somehow I like it when he says that, everyone is different in their own unique way but the way that he says it. It makes me feel like I'm special, special to him.

"But, really, how would you plan a date? And please dig deep inside yourself. A date is not only for the person you're planning it for but also for yourself" I tell him. He makes a funny look before rolling his eyes which I've noticed he does do a lot but I don't question it that much. "Think of the opposite that you would do and you have your answer" He tells me and I smile and almost laugh as he says that. But in truth I think that would be his style.

In fact, Silas seems to want to do everything that I don't want to do in just about everything which is all right, I mean not everyone has to be the same. "I suppose not everyone is a romantic" I speak as I write down that he would want to have everything dark and twisted, the opposite of me. "Romance can be expressed in many ways, correct?" He asks me and I nod my head at that. Silas is still walking around my office and I notice that he's walking in a certain pattern and always goes the same way.

When I can't be sure what that is, I know that I will soon find out and perhaps find out the reason behind it. However, his eyes are always watching me, as if he doesn't want to look away from me. "Then perhaps one might find what I plan romantic, even when it may not be you" He says and his voice is almost as if it's mocking me or something and I realize when I think of his words that he was mocking me. I just smile at him. "Couldn't have said it better myself" I say to him with a small smile which makes him let out a groan while I giggle.

"How would you define what romance is? It can be defined, what is yours?" I ask him. He gives me a confused look and I smile. "To me, romance is a mystery. It's not all about love and roses, but being with the one that you care for the most. Sometimes it doesn't need to be in a movie theater or a fancy dinner or even giving gifts. It's about the time spent together and being there for each other when in need. That is what matters" I say to him, thinking of Adam.

Silas lets every single word sink in and the way that he looks at me, it's like he's trying to figure me out in some way as his kohl black eyes are only on me, studying me. "I define romance as having a woman naked in bed. It doesn't get better than that" He says with a smirk on his face, and I nod. Still, I may not agree with him but I do respect his thoughts on it, like I said, romance can be defined in many ways than one and everyone has different opinions about what romance is.

"Tell me, Leanna. What if you've found romance with someone but that is not the right one?" He asks. I narrow my eyes at him and raise an eyebrow. "What do you mean? Like if I've found the right one?" I ask him confused. He smirks at me as he continues to walk in that strange pattern, then he nods his head. "Well, there truly is never a way to tell if you've found the right one that you want to be with, all you can do is listen to the heart and know what it is trying to tell you" I say to him.

"The heart can't speak" He straight forward says out and I giggle at that fact. "Of course it doesn't speak, it's more of a feeling that is in the body. It's magical once you listen" I tell him with a soft smile on my face which makes him roll his eyes. "You and your magical feelings. It's disgusting" He says to me. Of course he would think that. I sigh, knowing that this is going to be a bit hard for me to know why he is so against magic and happiness and romance, but I will find out, soon enough.

❦

Walking inside the apartment without Adam is a bit lonely but I've got work to do. Trina drove me home because Adam has to work a bit longer which works in favor for me as I need to get everything ready for the night. I want it to be prefect, for him I would do anything and the love that I feel for him will be expressed tonight. That is for sure. I change into my pajamas as I start to make everything ready. Yesterday after work I bought something for us to eat while we're watching the movie and I got his present which I need to wrap in now.

Humming to myself while I wrap it in gift paper and then put a bow on it and soon it looks perfect to me and the excitement for when he opens it is only growing with each passing minute. This whole night will be one that I'm looking forward to and I can't wait for him to be there with me. And when we do get married, it will not just be the start of our lives but also the start of our family because we're going to have a big one.

After that is done I take a quick shower and dress myself in some clothes. A yellow flowery summer dress which is so cute and Adam gave it to me and I'm in love with it and it just seems fitting to go on a date with him in a dress that he gave me. Drying my hair and then curling it to be wavy and nice but I don't put make-up on because I like my natural beauty to shine and I've never been much a fan of make-up.

When I'm all dressed and looking beautiful, I go to the living room to check the clock and he's almost home. I take a deep breath out of happiness and let it all out. The joy inside my heart is unlike anything I've ever felt as I wait for him to arrive and as if he knew what I was thinking and waiting for him, the front door opens and Adam walks inside. "Surprise" I greet him with a smile on my face and his one lights all up when none walks inside the living room.