❦ SESSIONS ❦ WITH ❦ GUNS❦

|The blood of my enemies I wear with pride|

❦❦

By the time that Monday came I was feeling much better and when my throat was still bugging me I was fever-free and ready to go to work, and now I sit, waiting for the guards to bring Silas. The air is thick with my nervousness as this is my first session with a patient that will not be in chains and I have no idea what will happen and I fear to find out. My heart races in my chest as the door opens and the guards enter the room with Silas in chains but as soon as he has sat on the chair they removed them all.

I see the warden then walk inside the room, he turns to me. "You know what to do if he tries anything and there will be guards outside the door like always yet these are different ones, don't worry about that, none of them will hurt you. No harm will come to you" He tells me with a softened voice but I'm not sure if that makes me feel better or not. I can only nod at his words before he turns to look at Silas.

"If you try anything then you will be shot on the spot and by the end of the day I wish to see Dr. Russell unharmed in every possible way" He tells him in a warning tone but Silas sits there with a wicked grin on his face and a bored expression in his eyes, it doesn't look like he even listened to what the warden even told him and even if he had listened he does not seem to care much for it. The warden then leaves and I'm left alone with Silas in the room. He is fast to stand up.

"It feels much better to be rid of those chains" He says and smirks at me while I nervously smile at him. He walks around my office. Looking at everything until he stops when he's standing in front of my desk. "Pathetic" He whispers as he holds a photo of me and Adam. The picture was taken the night that we got engaged and I can still remember that. I look down at the ring on my finger and all the nervousness just washes away as I think about him and the memories of that night that I will cherish forever.

"Now, I assume you wish to start or will you remain mute?" He asks me raising an eyebrow at me and his thick eyebrows make me feel things inside my heart that I've never felt before. I clear my throat but I don't stand up, afraid to even stand. "You have no chains on, how does that make you feel?" I ask him, my voice is a bit hoarse yet not too much and all the words that I speak are clear. He continues to walk around, as if he is trying to see every inch of the room and memorize it.

I write down with a shaky hand that he doesn't have any chains on because he threatened everyone with a bomb and I also wrote that he told me there never was a bomb. "I'm free, that's all that matters" He says and once again he's defensive. Finding the reason behind it is pretty hard for me to do but the more I am around him the more I start to see what is underneath the mask that he has on. Like just in the few sessions that we've had I've already figured out that there is a possibility he suffered trauma in her early childhood, something so horrible that it has affected his whole life.

"Yes, you are free from the chains yet not a free man, Silas, there is a difference" I tell him and look over to him as he walks over to the window and looks outside. His back faces me but he doesn't say anything. I still sit there and write down that he may be free but he is still in the cage. "Not for long" He finally says after a moment or two passes. When he turns around again I give him a confused look.

He throws himself on the chair and looks at me with a smirk. "When will you diagnose me?" He asks me and once again the puzzled look is up on my face. "Diagnose you?" I ask him and he sharply nods as he stares into my eyes with his kohl black ones that always makes the shivers run down my body and the butterflies start fluttering inside my stomach. "As a psychopath and a sociopath" He says as if I was supposed to know that. I let out a small giggle.

"If you have no noticed I don't work like all the other therapists out there, I don't diagnose patients and give them medication. I do not believe in it. I go another direction with this" I tell him and for a split second something flashes in his eyes that I'm not sure what is but I did see it, even if it was small. It lets me know that he isn't truly heartless, then again I never believed him to be in the first place. Silas is definitely defensive and I think that he doesn't want people to know who is inside.

He wants people to be afraid of him and he threatens them to show his strength because he's protecting something or himself, I can't be sure of it yet I'm only known him for a week and that is not enough time to know who he truly is. "Do other therapists diagnose you like that?" I ask him, I don't believe he's either of that. Though does show sign yet I think he's trying to, I think he's trying to trick people into thinking that. "Yes" He answers me yet I can tell by the tone that he doesn't want to talk about this.

"I think they don't know you" I say to him as I look at him to see him give me a confused look then his face hardens. "And you think you do?" He asks me with a raised eyebrow. Slowly I nod my head. "I believe I know you better than they did" I tell him but he only chuckles at me, not sure what the reason for that is. "They knew what I had done and who I am" He says to me in a threatening voice. His husky rough voice doesn't affect me this time as I cross one of my leg over the other one.

Nodding I smile at him. "Yes, they knew that but the things that we do do not define who we are inside. Knowing what is on the inside matters more than the actions that have been committed" I tell him with a soft smile. His mouth drops open as he looks at me with a shocked expression on his face. He doesn't understand it now but soon he will understand this whole thing and when he does he might be able to find who he is inside because the person that sits in front of me is not who Silas truly is.

"You're different" He says, the same words that he said the first time we met. In my mind's eye I can see that day clearly as the day outside yet it's not a sunny day today as it's raining a bit but not too much though. "Yes, I believe we have established that now, is there anything you wish to discuss, it can be anything. From a memory to a event or even just a simple car wash. You can say anything here" I say to him.

He doesn't seem to keen on sharing that much but I already knew that but in order for him to truly learn who he is inside he needs to speak about his life and his memories because the things that he has done, he needs to accept them and become one with the person inside that doesn't want those things. This is a rather complicated process but the people who go through it actually come out better than before and they become the ones that they are but have always been afraid to be. "There is one thing I wish to discuss" He says and I smile to him.

"You" He says a moment later and my jaw drops open in shock because of that. "I-I don't understand" I say to him. This does not make any sense to me. Silas wants to discuss me? Haven't I already told him that this is about him and not me? "I believe we've already come up with a deal, in order for me to speak you will also speak, this time about you. Enlighten me, who is Leanna Russel?" He asks me and his voice becomes... better almost. His Adam's apple bobs a bit as he looks at me up and down.

"I'm not that special, I am a therapist and I'm engaged to the most amazing man I've ever met" I tell him, I'm not sure what else to say to Silas for I'm not really that allowed to tell the patient about myself. He rolls his eyes as he stands up. "Boring..." He says as he walks over to me and stands behind me. "I don't think you're not special, tell me, what is your favorite color and in return I will tell you mine" He says and I smile as I look up to meet his face.

"That is an easy question, glittery unicorn pink" I tell him without a second thought. He chuckles at my answer as he walks over to the other side and sits in the chair once again and gives me an odd look. "How in the hell did you graduate from whatever school you went to?" He asks me as if he can't even believe anything at all. I raise an eyebrow. "Another simple question, I studied. You'd be surprised how far in life one can get by studying. Now, you were going to tell me your favorite color" I tell him with a kind smile.

Silas only gapes at me before he lightly shakes his head and rolls his eyes. He mutters something under his breath, something about me being delusional and insane. That is rather rude of him. "The crimson red blood splattered on the walls after I've slain my enemies" He says and darkly chuckles at me. His hand runs through his hair and shows me his tattoos but like all the other times that I've seen them, I can't be sure what they are or what they are supposed to be. All I see is ink in shapes and forms.

His words bring chills through me and my heart speeds up inside my chest. I clear my sore throat. "That is... well, I suppose that is a color" I say as I have no idea what to say. He says his favorite color is the blood of his enemies, that is so mean and cruel and just evil. But I know this isn't the person that he is. Darkly chuckling he crosses his leg over the other one and looks at me dead in the eyes. I gulp at his intense stare.

I don't know why I feel like this when he's around me and when his kohl hollow eyes look at me, the emptiness stares into my soul and I feel things that I've never felt before. Feelings that I don't get or know if I want to get. "Would you mind telling me why that is your favorite color?" I ask him as I write down the answer of the last question of the blood and the enemies and that is strange, yes, I do put that there too because to me that is strange.

Standing up Silas walks over to the window once again and leans against it but faces me while doing so. "There is nothing more satisfying than slaying the ones your rival and when they're dead the blood is all splattered to show that they are human and failed to stand against me as I am the fucking boss" He says evilly as he smirks and chuckles at the end. Slightly trembling I write it down. "I think killing people is not good because hurting them is what I can't stand" I softly whisper, not finding my voice at the moment for he imitates me and the sore throat that is hurting a bit now that I have talked more than I would've liked.

His smirk only grows more twisted but his eyes travel elsewhere and I look at where his eyes are to see the warden watching us from the window of the door and then I look at the clock to see that there are only a couple of seconds left of this session. I turn to look at Silas to see that he has a blank expression in his eyes but the evil smirk is telling me something that I can't understand but I know soon I will.

"What a good talk, I feel so cured" He says sarcastically to me and I roll my eyes. "I'm not here to cure you" I tell him. The doors open and guards enter pointing guns at Silas and I gasp when I see the guns and how they are doing that to him. I stand up and back away against the wall. "You're safe" The warden says beside me but I'm only focused on Silas and his eyes are only on me as his hands are in the air and the guards are chaining him up like he was when he entered my office only an hour ago.

His kohl black eyes never leave mine and my eyes never leave his as he's being taken outside and all the guards do too but the warden stays behind. "I want to ask you how you are feeling" He says to me as he stands in front of me. I smile to him. "I'm all right, I was sick so I'm still getting better from that" I say to him as I put the folder on the desk. The warden laughs. "I don't mean your health though I am glad you are feeling better but I am speaking about being with Silas here in sessions without chains" He says and I awkwardly let out a small laugh.

"I think it's going better than when he was in chains. He's more open for some reason and willing to talk. Somehow I don't feel afraid" I tell him as I look outside the window to see that the sun has decided to show up after all. "Good, now I assume you are busy so I will leave you to it" He only says and before another word could even be uttered he leaves my office.