❦ SESSIONS ❦ WITH ❦ GUNS❦

|Therapy doesn't work like that|

❦❦

The rest of the day all I could think about what he said to me and how his face looked like when he said that one word. Something about the way that he spoke it, the way that he looked at me and the way that the word itself scares me more than anything has ever done before. After the last session of the day I sit in my office, not necessarily looking at anything. Only letting my mind wander and swirl in this tornado that has formed inside my skull and it does not seem to be calming down any time soon.

The last couple of days have someone been confusion and I don't make sense of it all yet some things are better left to the mind to think of rather than finding the right answer for we don't need to know everything. The world is filled with mysteries that the humans should leave alone and some things are better when they're mysteries. My phone buzzes on the table which literally breaks me from my mind and I look down to see Adam has texted. Picking up the phone to read the text and then I stand up.

He said that he is parked outside and waiting for me with a smile face and a heart emoji which makes my lips curl up in a soft smile. Even when I was too afraid he is always there to put a smile on my face and make the happiest woman to ever cross the world. Smiling I gather my things and leave my office and then lock the door as I walk down the hallways to the entrance of the prison and I get into his car as soon as I'm out.

❦

"Silas, is there a reason why you are grumpy today?" I ask him the next day in our session. He has been grumpy since the moment that he stepped into my office while I have been giddy and happy and smiling but I'm not going to let his grumpy mood infect my happy one. Last night Adam and I attempted to put together our new chair as we bought a new one and it arrived yesterday and it took forever to put it together and even now we've not been able to get all the pieces in there. Silas only scoffs at me.

Leaving me confused. "Did something happen?" I ask him and he rolls his eyes. I write down on a new piece of paper that he is grumpy for some reason and clearly needs to blow off some steam. I smile when I see the sun shine through the window and it makes me happy to see the sun. "Do you have to smile like that?" He asks me, his voice shocks me as this is the first words that he has spoken since he came in here which was twenty-seven minutes ago. "Like what?" I ask him.

"Like a mentally insane person with every mental disorder to ever exists" He answers. That is a bit offensive, though I don't take it to heart. "I shall not smile like that" I tell him and smile a reassuring smile to him, I like smiling, there is nothing wrong with it. Silas groans. "Your smiling annoys me" He then says. His deep voice always sends shivers down my spine. It is as if my body is hanging on his every word and then shiver when he has finished. "How come it annoys you?" I ask him as I write down that he gets annoyed with a smile and then I add a question mark because I don't know the reason for it.

He doesn't answer me but I was kind of expecting that because he isn't still on the sharing side but I know that he will soon and then he will let everything that is inside out. To feel better and let the heavy weight that pulls you down just go and you will feel free. "If I tell you why then you have to tell me something" He says and a smirk appears on his face, the first other expression that he has made other than pure grumpiness.

Furrowing my eyebrows at him in confusion as I have done so many times before. "Why would I tell you something? I am your therapist, I am here to listen to you talk" I tell him, I'm sure if he knows how therapy really works but that is pretty much it. I listen to what he has to say and help him later on but I'm still on the part where I need to get him to talk, but that will come, I know it will. Silas rolls his eyes.

"How about we make a deal?" He asks me and I give him a puzzled look. "A deal? I highly doubt that is not appropriate here" I tell him as kindly as I can. I truly think that he doesn't know how this works and someone needs to tell him. "You ask me a question and I will answer it and then I ask you a question and you have to answer" He says, completely ignoring what I had said to him only seconds ago. I think about his... deal. It's strange and I don't believe it is something that we should be doing.

I don't think I'm allowed to do that, or am I? No, I really think not. "I don't understand, why can't you just tell me things, that way you can talk in your own time, you don't have to answer the things that you don't feel comfortable with. If I ask you the wrong thing then it might ruin everything that I'm trying to work for and these sessions are really for me to listen and help you become the one that you are inside" I tell him with a smile. A groan escapes past his lips at that and I get the feeling he wasn't really listening to a word I just said.

Though I did say it and perhaps it was a reminder to myself on how this is supposed to be. "Smiling annoys me because happiness is disgusting, now, how many windows are in the prison?" He asks me and my eyes widen, for two reasons actually. He thinks happiness is disgusting, I don't think I've ever heard 'happiness' and 'disgusting' in the same sentence. And he is asking me about how many windows are here. This makes me even more confused.

I open my mouth but then close it again in pure confusion as no words come out, I don't even know what to say. This does shock me in ways that I did not know I could be shocked. I've always tried to look at everything the positive way and I suppose the positive approach here is that people have different opinions about everything and that is his opinion and I should respect that. "I-I don't know" I tell him as I look into his kohl black eyes and the hollowness stares back at me.

He lets out a dark chuckle as the door opens and guards enter and unleash him from the brown leather chair but still have him in handcuffs and chained up pretty well. Before he leaves my office his head turns around. "Find out" He only says before he's being taken away and the door closes on me and I'm left alone in the silence once more with only my thoughts about this session and the last session. I write down what he had said about happiness and then I write down the question he asked me. Trying to figure out why he would want to know that.

This prison is rather large and there might be millions of windows, I know that my office has four windows because it is on a corner and it has windows on two sides and two windows on those sides. Breaking me out of my thoughts I exit my office and start walking to the staff lounge where I see the janitors sitting there drinking coffee and chatting rather loudly. I walk over there, not even knowing what I am doing right about now. Somehow I want to find out for him how many windows are there.

He did give me the information that I had asked him and it is only fair that I give him this as he did cooperate with me in the matter and he is opening up. It would be bad if he'd close up now. I clear my throat and all their eyes turn to me. "Hi, I'm Dr. Russell, a therapist here and I have a question for you" I tell them and they nod yet I can see that they are confused at why there is a therapist there taking to them. "All right, ask away" One of them says in a thick Australian accent.

"How many windows does the prison have?" I ask them and they look confused for a moment before one of them shakes their head. "Sorry, sweetie but I have no clue" She says to me and I nod my head as I look at them all to see that they look equally as stumped. "It's all right, thank you for your time" I say to them and they nod and bid me good day which I happily return to and then I head out of the staff lounge. The janitors are the ones that clean this place, if they don't know, then I don't know who does.

Perhaps the warden yet I know he's busy for he is always busy. Everyone knows that. Without an answer for my question I head back to my office but not before I check the clock to see that I have less than ten minutes before my next patient will be coming for her session. Walking to my office I keep wondering how many windows are in this place. It is such an odd question to ask yet then again there is a reason for everything that we do and I think I will know that reason when I have the answer for Silas.

As it has done for the past couple of days the scent of flowers greet me and instantly my thoughts run over to my fiancée and I can't help but smile. He truly makes me happy and there is no saying he doesn't for I can only smile when I think about him. I still have a couple of minutes so after I've done everything ready, I pick up my phone and send him a quick text on how much I'm missing him and wishing I were in his arms.

He is rather quick to send me one back and the smile on my face can only brighten and grow wider when he says that he misses me too. The flowers are on their last day or two but they still hold beauty and they still have a strong flowery scent to them. Then all of a sudden my thoughts run over to Silas and I can just picture his face in my mind, every inch of his face and just him and his stare with those kohl black eyes.

Thinking about him makes my heart beat faster in my chest and the blood rushes to my cheeks as my stomach gets filled with fluttering butterflies which I don't mind for I actually like butterflies. They are just so beautiful and straight up gorgeous in my mind. Standing up when a knock on the door breaks the sensitive silence that had taken over my office before and the guards enter with my patient and cuff her to the chair and then they leave while I stay here and greet her and the session has begun yet for some reason I keep thinking of Silas.

❦

The sun sets as I watch the sky turn from the beautiful sky blue to the pretty pink and orange with a hint of yellow and purple in it. It truly is a magnificent sight to behold and it is so surprising that this is just in front of our noses yet there are so many that don't stop to enjoy and bask in this beautiful wonder that the world gives us. "It's cold out there, you should come inside" Adam says by the door of our balcony, I smile as the cold air around me makes me shiver.

"I like being out here and the cold doesn't matter to me" I tell him but I don't turn to face him. I'm dressed in my pajamas and while they can keep me warm in the night, they're unable to keep me warm in this cold air temperature that comes to happen late in the evening. I'm almost trembling from the cold but I hug myself to give me a bit more warmth yet it only ends up making me feel even more cold. "You already have a sore throat, I don't want you to get sick" He says and before I could turn around I feel a warm blanket being wrapped around my body.

I look up at him and smile. "Thank you but I'm not going to be sick, I'm feeling perfectly fine" I tell him but he only hits me, brining me even more warmth that comes from him. Sometimes I am a bit envious of how he can be in a t-shirt like right now and not feel cold at all. "That doesn't stop me from worrying" He whispers to me as he uses his hands to turn me around and walk towards the door and then he closes it behind him while I'm giggling.

"You worry too much" I tell him as he leads me to our bedroom. He chuckles as he makes me sit down on the bed and the lie down. "Only because I love you" He whispers to me and kisses my cheek before he throws himself on the bed, making me squeal as I get bounced around on the bed. We put the covers over us and I still have the blanket to give myself even more warmth but somehow I know that all I need is Adam to give me all the warmth that I need.

"Goodnight, my love" He whispers to me as he pulls me close to him and I smile as I cuddle close to his chest and get myself comfortable. "Goodnight" I whisper back to him as I close my eyes. Feeling tired after the day that I've had and wanting nothing more than be fast asleep and in the dream land because that is the safest place to ever be in for it brings only kindness and goodness to me where I can dream of all things that are pretty and beautiful. With that on my mind I find myself drifting off.