"The hour of departure has arrived, and we go our separate ways, I to die, and you to live. Which of these two is better only God knows."

Life is very deceitful, isn't it?

Just yesterday I was in Paris and today I'm back in New York City.

Going to Paris sounds fun but not when your father is on his death bed in states.

Hearing the news of your father's death, no one would want to hear such a news inside the city of love.

Blank! My mind is blank.

I feel nothing.

My everything is gone. Just like that. In a day.

I didn't know jesus would play such games with me.

I have locked myself inside his room since I came back. I don't want to face his dead face at the moment. How will I face him when I left him to die alone? How will I answer that face, where was I when he needed me the most?

There is press outside, questioning on how David Smith can die out of sudden. I feel annoyed at them. Is he not even allowed to die? I mean of course I also want otherwise.

And then there is Damien White Knight. He was the one who conveyed this message to me.

"Your father is dead."

"Are you kidding me right now?" I asked not believing what he just said. It was the middle of the night and I woke up at him almost banging my door.

"Now I don't have time for such childish acts. Pack your stuffs we are leaving." Your father is dead. Your father is dead. Your father is dead.

For sometime I wasn't willing to really believe him.

How can someone say those four words so easily without any remorse? Your.father.is.dead.

The person has to be heartless and cruel to convey such a message at the middle of the night about a father to his child.

As he turned to leave and took steps outside room, I ran towards him and made him look at my eyes. "Please tell me you're lieing."

"When do I ever lie, Miss Smith?"

Tears formed in my eyes. They were at the verge of falling down. I didn't know whether to let them out or not. He wanted peace. He got it. Dad wanted to meet his wife. He went to her. But can I be selfish and grieve over him?

Am I not allowed to do that?

I let the tears fall down my face.

"Such a weak person you are, Miss Smith, he's dead, you'll have to deal with it." It still didn't stop my tears from falling. He taunted me but I still cried pathetically in front of him.

"What am I gonna do?" I whispered to myself.

I am nothing without my father. Absoluetly Nothing.

"I suggest come out right now, Miss Smith. The funeral is in 2 hours and you don't want not to bid him goodbye." Damien said in a firm voice.

Does he think he has upper hand here too? does he think he is to decide when the funeral for my father is gonna held? I laughed at the thought. He must be crazy if he think I'll let him decide for my father.

I stood up and got out of the room. Damien was standing there as clean and fresh as ever. If more, he looked beautiful then ever. There was no hint of sadness on his face. I felt like my father was nothing to him. For Christ sake they were like buddies without minding the age gap.

How can he be so emotionless? Or does he hide his emotions?

"How can you?" I said in a low voice.

"How can I what, Miss Smith?" Well I have so many things to say.

"You.. you took me to Paris when I should have stayed here with him during his last days." I grabbed him by his collar as I screamed on his face.

"How can you come to me and tell me my father is dead just like that?" I screamed more loud this time.

There was no tears in my eyes. I was feeling literally nothing but betrayed.

"You'd rather I sugarcoat it, Miss Smith?"

"Oh my god and look at the audacity, he is still talking." I loosen the hold of his collar as I slipped down on the floor.

"The funeral is not gonna be according to you. I'm his daughter, I have a say in this."

"This is a bloody funeral we are talking about, Miss Smith, not a party." This man really wants me to slap the crap out of him. Can he just stay silence for a moment.

"Yeah and it will be arranged according to me." I said, not caring about his opinions. Keep them to yourself, cold jerk.

"Be less selfish and let him go in one peace." Selfish? Am I really selfish?

This time I cried. I sat there and cried. Infront of him yet again. I cried my heart out. I cried till nothing was left. I cried till I realize now I'm really alone.

I cried for my misery.

Orphan life welcomed me with open arms.

Life filled with loneliness. Here I come.

Dad, you really left me. I cannot believe this.

As I finished with my crying session. I stood up. Damien was still there. I wiped my tears and went to my room to get changed.

Isn't it ironic. Did I ever think someday I would be getting ready to attend my father's funeral? I'll have to wear black clothes, not because I want to, out of causality but because it's a dress code in funerals. Again my father's.

Is it pitiful, that I'm getting too sensitive?

When I went back to the living room. Damien was still there. Can he just leave?

I kind of blame him a little for my father's sudden death. I know I'm wrong. But isn't it his mistake that I wasn't there for my father during his last days. I won't ever forgive him for this. He can never make up for this. Nothing can bring the past back, nothing can change the time. Nothing can be done to change the past. Nothing can even rewind it. Or just add me there when he was taking his last breath. Or was I just not meant to be there?

Should I just take it as that was my fate?

Or continue blaming Damien?

"Did you write the eulogy?" Damien asked and I raised my eyebrows at him. Did he really think I'll have that ready? Was I prepared for his sudden death. This man is a total nutcase.

"I haven't written anything." I replied short.

He shook his head at me like I committed a sin not writing it. That I'm a big shame on planet earth "My father lived in my heart. I'll say whatever comes in my heart." I said more to myself then him.

He needs to stay in his limits.

"Very well then, let's go, Miss Smith." Is he thinking I'm going with him? I shook my head at him and without waiting I left. Without him.