“Let me see her!”

“Kurosaki-san! You are unauthorized-!”

“Get out of my way!”

Agito’s head snapped up from her light doze, eyes widening in realization. She stood up from her cot and walked to the cell bars, for once hearing the sounds of dropping bodies and a fist fight happening just outside her cell room.

She barely touched the bars before the paper door snapped open to reveal Ichigo Kurosaki, a little bit ruffled but nothing too extreme. He was scowling something awful but at first sight of her, his eyes brightened.

“Oba-san!” he cried out before rushing forward to stick his arms through the cell bars to give a weird hug.

“Ichigo?”

“Kurosaki-san!” yelled a guard from the outside, “You must leave the vicinity immediately!”

“What are you going to do about it?” Rue stepped into the room, her arms crossed and her expression pinched as if she smelled something particularly disgusting.

“Diabolos-san,” the guard growled, “Neither you or Kurosaki-san are authorized to-”

“I believe I am,” Rue said while waving a sheet of paper in front of the guard’s face. “And as for Kurosaki, what can you do about it? It’s not like you’re strong enough to drag him out the door. So why don’t you be a good puppy and sit outside? Shoo.”

Flushed red in the face, the guard left stomping and cursing under his breath, no doubt going to get a superior to tattle. Alone, with only her sister and her godson as a witness, Agito let go of her mask, letting them see the tired but soft smile only reserved for them.

“Hey guys,” she said.

“You idiot!” Rue screamed, “You just had to go crazy didn’t you! I’m gonna kick your sorry ass!”

“Love you too,” Agito chuckled, making both Ichigo and Rue tense.

“It’s been so long,” Rue mumbled in awe.

“You were really acting this whole time,” Ichigo questioned. He remembered how strong and horrible she portrayed herself to be. The big bad Boogeyman of Soul Society, a most heartless monster but right here in front of him was a soft woman who he only knew as his godmother.

“Why are you here?” Agito questioned.

“Why-? We’re here to discuss your trial!” Rue said, “Kiseki, says he’s close in proving your forced involvement. All we need is time-”

“Rue,” Agito suddenly cut off, glancing at Ichigo who was there as a witness.

Rue waved away her concern, explaining, “I already filled him in. He knows that you didn’t join Aizen because of some stupid promise of war spoils Soul Society rumors you to have. Nice job of that lie. Super believable to everyone else who doesn’t know you. Jeez, it’s like suddenly I could find all your friends because they keep trying to talk to me and say that it isn’t like you.”

“I’m going to be executed within the week,” Agito said.

“In a week?” Rue said hopefully over her quickly beating heart.

“Within,” her sister corrected, “Couple of days ago, Yamamoto-soutaichou gave me my sentence. It would seem that I don’t have that many friends.”

“That won't happen,” Ichigo snarled a wrathful fire alight in his eyes, “I won't allow them to do it.”

“No, you will,” Agito said while drawing her arms away from her godson. She needed to be firm and persuade two of her closest family members to leave it be. She didn’t expect this to be so difficult. She knew intuitively that it was but staring at the people who she loved the most and who loved her back, she wanted so badly to let them have this one hope that she would return to them. She wanted, for once, to be there for them.

But a single twinge in her gut reminder her of more important matters.

“Why should I be saved?” she asked.

Ichigo’s natural scowl deepened. He said, “You’re not this stupid. You didn’t want to do this. All of it was an act! It was never you! They can’t put you on trial for actions you didn’t even want to commit! All they’re really doing is shifting the blame. They can’t punish Aizen so they turn on the next big target.”

“You think everything I did under Aizen’s command was forced?” Agito questioned, “Don’t discredit me.”

“Agito-” Rue started but with a sharp look she was silenced.

“No. Maybe I was forced to join his side. But not everything I did was forced. I raised an army of Arrancars with the express purpose of fighting shinigami. Aizen might have told me to do so but I did so well. I planned for everything, every single fight in Hueco Mundo and the fake Karakura. And then I stole the Gotei Juu-san’s justice. Tell me that that is not punishable by death.”

“You didn’t though,” Ichigo reasoned, “You might have raised an army but you raised them weak. You … didn’t nurture them into a strong fighting force as you could. I know this because you are my sensei as well as my oba-san. You could have won the war with no casualties if you were serious, but you gave them flaws.” Ichigo was thinking to all of his fights. The Arrancars that weren’t a united force, but were selfish beings set on personal goals. He thought of Dordoni, the first Arrancar he fought in Hueco Mundo. He thought of Grimmjow who was only taught viciousness and not selflessness. He thought of Nnorita who had the simple faith of his skin. He thought of Ulquiorra who always questioned his heart.

Agito could have finished them all. But she didn’t. She had let the Gotei Juu-san win.

And they wanted her executed for it.

“So really,” Rue said, “They would be executing you because you took Aizen’s life before they could. Do you really want to die for something so petty?”

“Where would I go?!” Agito demanded, desperate to win her side of the argument even if she was outnumbered, “Shall I go back to being a shinigami who no one will ever trust? The Ujimushi no Su? Do you want me to pretend that I’m human and stay at Karakura in house arrest? What a fucking joke.”

"Are you so afraid of a quiet life that you would rather die than face the possibility?!” Rue snapped, “It's not that bad! All you have to do is stop fighting this and let us save you! For once in your goddamn life, let us save you!”

Agito glared hard at her sister, baring teeth in displeasure. Rue’s face was red from frustration and set with determination, returning her sister’s glare with her own stare.

“No,” Agito said before Rue threw her hands up in the air.

“Unbelievable! Go die a stubborn jackass for all I care! Damn you!”

“Oba-san,” Ichigo called it in a little voice. Agito’s attention switched from her raving sister to her godson, who looked like a child ready for an abusive blow. “You can come home with me.

“We’ll go back home together. Dad can go sleep on the couch or something and we’ll make up your new room. Yuzu will make your favorite food. Did you know that Karin still practices your stances? I think she'll be happy to learn more from you.”

“I can't just become one with your family so easily,” Agito said softly, not wanting to break his heart but knowing that she had to.

“I thought you already were.”

God, that hurt like a knife to her heart. Agito wanted to rewrite her entire story to give Ichigo the world but she couldn't. She didn’t want to take away yet another important figure out of his life. Her most simplest desires were to let Rue save her life, follow Ichigo back to the Living World and live the rest of her life in peace.

She wanted a dog.

She wanted several dogs.

Maybe a cat.

She wanted an old house in the forest and land for her dogs to run around.

She wanted her dojo back where she’d teach little kids karate, teens judo, and adults self defense.

She wanted to go on a road trip all over Europe.

She wanted to swim in the ocean more.

She wanted to see Ichigo graduate.

She wanted to see just how broad, how strong his shoulders become.

She wanted to witness him claim destiny, wanted to see how he finally shines in the sun with the weight of the world a mantel upon those shoulders.

She wanted to live life well.

“I know,” Agito said, barely holding back the tears in her eyes, “I'm so sorry. I'm sorry that I can't be the person I want to be for you.”

“What's wrong with the person in front of me now?”

“Well, she’s a convicted murderess,” Agito weakly offered a joke, “Might have betrayed the government she swore loyalty to. Might have also inspired a war. I am going to die.”

“You’re not going to die,” Ichigo swore, “We're going to prove your innocence. I don't care if I have to fight every single Shinigami to get you out of here.”

“Even the Soutaichou?”

“Especially him!”

Agito gave a weak, happy little giggle. She tried so hard to hype herself up, convince herself to break her two loved one’s hearts so that they don't even come to the execution. But she couldn't do it.

She was so tired of fighting. So tired of being hurt. So tired of being someone who destroys. Rue’s offer still rang in her head, ‘All you have to do is stop fighting.’

To stop sounded really good right about now.

“Little Ichi,” Agito said using Ichigo’s old nickname, “I’m happy that I got a chance to see you now so that I can say goodbye. Never doubt that I love you. Know that I tried my very best to be the best that I can be for you. Remember that you were not my mission, you are my Little Ichi, and I am so proud of you.”

Ichigo was struck dumb because he didn't expect this. He didn't expect a good bye.

Rue growled, “Come on Kurosaki-san. We're not going to let her fucking martyr complex ruin her life. And we're not going to let her poison us with doubt! We're going to save your ungrateful ass and then I'm going to kick it to the Living World to be happy, you miserable, selfish, furry-balls licking fuck!”

Her sister had grabbed Ichigo by the arm and dragged him out the room, cursing Agito all the while and slamming the door behind them.

Agito smiled, happy that she got to see them again. For a while she rode the high of her happiness, sitting down on her bed with her back against the wall, her head tilted back and still smiling.

Riding the joy in her heart like a drug.

…

‘Michael?’

‘Are you there?’

‘I feel so empty.’

‘You left an imprint in my chest. I still feel the shape of you pressed against my throat like a branded kiss.’

‘I miss you.’

‘You left without saying goodbye. Not that I blame you. You were only here for Aizen, nothing else. And yet still-.’

‘Come back to me.’

‘I'm so cold. All the time, I'm so cold.’

‘I miss you.’

‘Michael, you’re gone. And you're not coming back.’

‘Will you come back?’

‘I thought your God would kill me. I didn't expect to be tortured with loneliness first.’

‘The Shinigami have their zanpakuto. Can they imagine being without? Do they know loneliness?’

‘Can you hear me?’

‘It's so cold without you near. I'm used to suns and volcanoes. I know fires and heat. What is candlelight compared to you? What is blood compared to you?’

‘Michael I'm scared.’

‘There's something inside me.’

‘It's killing me to live if I don't kill it first.’

‘I will kill it first.’

‘But Michael-’

‘I felt it move.’

…

Agito was told that she would die tomorrow.

The news had come with her last meal: a cup of green tea steeped with lavender. After her last visit with her twin sister and her godson, she hadn't moved from her spot on the wall. She slept sitting up. She hardly shifted. She kept her eyes closed. The sight was unsettling.

In her cell was a small window. It was more like a hole in the wall, barred and facing north so that the sun could never shine directly inside. Everyday she watched the shifting light and shadows. She knew the shadows of birds, the light of the moon, and the shape of the wind just from that short time in isolation.

On the last night of her life, Agito took a deep breath in and sighed something soft. Her head, tilted back against the wall, turned to press a cheek against her shoulder, incidentally towards the barred window.

The scent of sakura petals teased throughout the night air.

She gave the tiniest of smiles, for once enjoying the presence of her secret visitor. She knew he wouldn't have come in to see her. She knew that he didn't want to talk and probably would have killed her upon sight if not for the stone and bars separating them.

But right here and now with her power stripped and her fate decided, under the silence of the moon and no one to know, Agito breathed in the deep scent of sakura and luxierated under the the feeling of falling petals.

Under her closed eyes, she could imagine herself free and under a sakura tree sitting beside her visitor.

It was the sweetest goodbye anyone could have given her.

~~~

Vote. Comment. Review. Please and thank you