Zanpakotou speech

"So...you're telling me that you look like me because we are related?" Shiba Kaien repeated Ichigo's words after he had finished giving him an account of his (bullshit) story. Ichigo nodded hesitantly, not sure of how his cousin would react.

"Well then, welcome to the family! I have to induct you immediately as my brother, since you do not really have any proof that you are a Shiba beside your looks, but your story sounds plausible enough. I think I remember some uncle of ours going missing in the Rukongai some years ago." Ichigo blinked. Was this really all he had to do? Moreover, did he say brother? He hesitated once again before he answered.

"Thank you. Nevertheless, why would you want to induct me as your brother? And don't you have to consult your Elders before you do something like this" he asked He could not understand why Kaien would want a literal stranger he just met as his brother. Sure, they looked alike, but that was it. Kaien seemed a little torn before he sighed and answered Ichigo's query.

"Look, I know that we don't really know each other, but the reality of the matter is that the clan needs an heir, and since I have no...ah, eligible brothers or children, the nearest heir is a bastard of a man that I don't trust. Moreover, the reason I am choosing you is very simple. You might have experienced it sometimes, which is probable if your reiatsu is anything to go by, but the Shibas have a special hidden power; the power to read hearts." Kaien took a deep breath and looked at Ichigo who had gone white as a sheet, and gave him a wry smile

"Do not panic. It's not like reading minds, but rather we get an inkling of whether the person is trustworthy or not, and from you I got a strong feeling of belonging from you. It...confused me, you know, 'cause you felt like someone I could tell my deepest darkest secrets to, and you weren't even conscious!"

The Shiba clan head looked amazed and disbelieved at the same time. On the other hand, Ichigo felt rather uncomfortable, so he cleared his throat, bringing Kaien's attention back to him. The orange haired male had his scowl in place, and looked rather torn.

"I...I'm not to sure about this, but I..." the hybrid scratched his head in frustration. He wanted to accept the offer, but wouldn't it be too greedy of him? In the he just said, quite frankly.

"It's a good proposition, but I don't want to be a burden." Kaien blinked, and then grinned widely.

"I'll take that as an agreement! And don't be daft, you won't be a burden! Now, tell me, have you ever heard of Shin'ou Academy? " Ichigo, who was quite perplexed, decided just to go with the flow, and nodded.

*2 days later-Shinou Academy*

It looked like fate was favouring the Shiba. It truly was a lucky coincidence that the entrance exams for the Academy were two days after the newest Shiba and heir of said clan was awake. Ichigo and Kaien were now in the waiting room for Ichigo's results. Kaien shot a look in his... brother's direction, observing how he was acting. During the two days he had spent with Ichigo, he had gotten to know that the orange haired twin of his didn't normally smile, and always had a frown on his face, which detoriated into a scowl when he was irritated. The man didn't act like a normal Shiba, though he didn't have a stick up ass like the Kuchikis, thankfully.

Beside that, it was a certain grace to his movements, much like the late Kenichi Shihouin, former Captain of Squad 2 had had. It was like his baby brother had some training in the field of Shinigami, which was likely as the missing Shiba had been a promising young Shinigami before he went off to wherever. Kaien frowned, if he remembered correctly, the missing Shiba had gone AWOL around 35 years ago. That meant that his new baby brother was younger than some of the children in the clan, which was unbelieveable. So Kaien decided to ask his brother quite about his age there and then.

"Say, Ichigo, what is your age?"

"Hm? Oh, around 31, I guess." was the distracted answer from the orange haired man.

Kaien blinked. And blinked again. And opened and closed his mouth like he was imitating a goldfish. Ichigo, who had shifted his attention from whatever he was thinking, was now looking quite alarmed.

"Uhh, is everything okay, Kaien?"

"31 years..." Kaien said faintly. He couldn't believe it. The youngest Shinigami graduate ever had been 80. It was truly an act of fate that Ichigo was ust over the Academy age limit. Kaien shook his head in disbelief. It looked like the clan's liquor storage was going to be in danger if this kept up. The elder Shiba's train of thought was derailed as right then an Academy instructor shouted for "Shiba, Ichigo!" to come forward and recieve his results. The two Shibas hurried off to the room were the Academy instructors were waiting with Ichigo's results.

" Ah, Kaien. How nice of you to accompany your..." Gengoro Onabara trailed off, waiting for Kaien to explain their obvious relation. Kaien began to rattle off like a mother showing off.

"This is my brother and the heir to the Shiba clan. He is only 31, and I only let him take the exam partly because I didn't know he was that young and partly beacuse, well you can tell by his monstrous reiatsu that he needs some trainig. Please take care of him"

Gengoro raised his eyebrows, while Ichigo scowled lightly. It seemed like reiatsu control was a sore topic for him.

"Only 31? That means you are going to break another Academy record. Fear not, Kaien, it seems like your brother can take care of himself. You broke every exam record in the millenia long history of our Academy. Your Reiatsu measured to Level: 10, a weak Captain or a strong Vice Captain. Your Hakuda and Houhou were probably on par with some of the Onmitsukido, and your Zanjutsu was definitely over Academy level. As for the written part, you got a full 100%, and though your kidou was ordinary on the lower numbers, it was absolutely splendid on the higher numbers." Gengoro stopped to take a breath, and for the Shibas to let it sink in. Kaien looked like he was on the verge of fainting and was already hyperventilating, while Ichigo looked mildly surprised, though it was hard to tell with his frown. Gengoro sighed and continued.

"You could, essentially, graduate today. But since we have to keep up appearances, Ichigo has to remain a year in the Academy. Else we eould be accused of favoritism, and the Shibas would certainly be accused of using their influence. You don't need to attend any classes, and your classes would be with the Sixth years anyway. When the Captains get to know of you, they will probably send for you to go on missions and evaluate you themselves. Is that your Zanpakotou?"

Ichigo nodded. Kaien was now leaning on him for support, muttering something about sake and empty storages.

"Have you achieved Shikai?" Gengoro asked, blatantly ignoring Kaien's hitched breathing.

Ichigo nodded again. That seemed to be too much for Kaien, as he dropped on the floor like a sack of potatoes in a dead faint. Ichigo prodded him lightly with his foot, looking mildly concerned. Gengoro coughed, hiding a laugh, though he was a little concerned for Kaien's health, but after five minutes of waiting for the fukutaichou to wake up, he decided to wrap it up.

"So, welcome to the Sixth year at Shin'ou Academy. You're free to go wherever whenever. I would like for you to stay at the Academy for the schoolyear and...show off, to convince the other students that all this wasn't a fluke. A request, not an order, I assure you. See you hopefully on the 22nd of August, in a week. Now, please make sure that Kaien doesn't drink himself into a stupor."

Ichigo once again nodded, while hiking his brother up on his shoulders.

"I'll make sure to come." the orange haired man said. At that exact moment, Kaien decided to moan in his sleep, making Ichigo freeze up.

"S..."

Ichigo dearly hoped "S" wasn't a woman.

"Sa..."

Ichigo's mind was racing, and his face was red from embarrassment. Meanwhile Gengoro and the othe instructors were struggling not to laugh at the apparent prodigy's predicament. Kaien continued to moan, like a bitch in heat.

"Oh, my sweet, sweet.."

That's it. Ichigo was going to murder Kaien, revive him and murder him again. The instructors had now given up all pretense, and were now openly laughing at the strawberry.

"Sake."

Ichigo almost face-planted. Kaien was so dead that the Soul King wouldn't be able to revive him, he fumed. In his mind, Shiro cackled, and to his utmost horror, even Yhwach chuckled.