Its driving me insane. How can I go against Sensei after being trained to obey and to have honor? How can I help my brothers if I'm too weak? I've never had a reason to go against Sensei and now that I do, I'm not sure how to handle this.

I'm laying on my bed, my legs crossed as I think. I should try a meditaion treatment right now. Perhaps clearing my mind will help. I sit up and take deep breaths. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

"Well hello there Hazel Grace," a low voice says. Hazel Grace? Weird, this meditation isn't going right. Maybe I should go to the dojo room.

"You look incredibly sexy," it says again and I huff in annoyance. When I open my eyes, I shriek. Raphael covers my mouth and I grin underneath his hand. My heart begins to beat rapidly and I jump into his arms, both of us falling to the ground. He chuckles and puts his hands on my waist as I kiss him.

"How did you get in here?" I mumble.

"I am a ninja you know. I put a bunch of pillows underneath my covers to fool Sensei that I was asleep while I sneaked in here," he replies proudly.

"Raph you moron," I whisper. "You know I hate it when you sneak up on me like that."

"And you know I hate it when you tackle me," he shoots back playfully.

"You don't like this?" I ask and gesture at my body on top of his. He smirks and with one swift motion, flips us over. His face is so close, his breathing fanning my face. I can't help but smile at the sight in front of me.

"Don't get me wrong. I like it very much but I prefer this," he whispers. "And I've freaking missed you."

"I missed you too Raph," I say and cup his face with my hands. "We have to do something. Mikey is miserable."

"We are taking this more serious than Shredder," he says with a laugh. "I promise by this week this problem will be gone." He leans in and his lips touch my neck. I feel his teeth carelessly nibbling my skin. A soft gasp falls out of my lips and I close my eyes.

"What do you mean it will be solved?" I manage to ask as I tilt my head. "You have a plan or something?"

"Mmm lets just say that we are gonna be rebels," he replies. His voice is thick and soft at the same time. My body has grown weak at this point. His hands push apart my legs so he can rest between them. I make a strange sound, between a moan and a whimper. The position feels perfect and I love it.

I want to ask him what he is talking about. I want to ask him what he has planned and what does he mean, but unfortunatley I am too distracted. The familiar flame of excitement grows as one of his hands gently palm me.

"The floor is not the best place to do this," I say and laugh nervously.

Raph looks up, an amused expression written across his face. "To do what?"

My cheeks burn as I clear my throat. Am I misleading his actions? I mean his hand is in between my legs... Am I even ready for this?

Raph doesn't wait for an answer. He helps me up and I whimper at the sudden loss of contact, but he gently pushes me on my bed. His body goes back to the way it was. I involuntarily wrap my legs around his waist and he takes in a sharp breath.

"Do you want to do this Leo?" He whispers.

"Yeah. I mean if you want to...I guess. Because if you don't then that's fine," I stammer.

"Fuck do I want to. More than anything in the world," he says with a beautiful smile.

"Then right now is your chance," I reply with a wink. Raph gives me a wicked smile.

"Alright baby. Lets just have a little fun then shall we?" He says as his lips crash into mine.

Our kiss is quite sloppy but perfect. His hands go to my thighs and finally in between my legs. It doesnt take long before I expose myself to him.

My subsconcisousness begins to scream at me to stop him as he touches me. Its not the right time nor place to do this. I should be pushing him away just like before.

But I'm tired of doing the right thing. I have fallen for Raph and for him I will do anything even if it means disobeying. Sensei can't stop this. I know what is coming next and I know I won't regret it.