《The Pain Called Love (Kaoru x Reader)》13: Choices
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"Not again." I heaved a heavy sigh, pressing my fingers against my temple as the now all too familiar pain surged through my brain.
"Hey, Hikaru?"
"Hm..?" He sighed, looking over. I pulled the cake out of the bag, gave him a smirk, and smooshed it into his face. He gasped, standing up and wiping it off as best he could.
"What the hell, (Y/n)?!"
"How stupid do you think I am, Kaoru?" I glared, looking down to my lap.
"Why did you and Hikaru switch places?"
His eyes were wide as he stared at me. "You knew all along?"
"I told already. I've always been there. I've always known the difference. Was this date like a test or something? To see if I really knew?" I grabbed some napkins out of the Togo bag, and stood up, helping him wipe the cake from his face.
"I've always been there." I slowly repeated, moving my hands away from my head, then looking at them.
Yeah, now that I recall, I said that a lot to him. We have many memories together that I've yet to unlock, and I feel like I've jumped into some kind of video game trying to find out my past with these people.
"Hey, hun." My dad knocked on my door, waiting for a few seconds before opening it. He smiled to me, walking in and handing me a glass of water and a few pills.
"Your medicine."
"Thanks, dad."
I stared at each pill in my hand for a second, observing each color and size. One that was blue, with a red line around the middle was for the headaches. It helps ease the pain. One was a pale orange, that was round and rather large. It helped my brain in general, to help jog my memories more. Finally the last one that was small, this ones more of a nausea medicine. Sometimes the headaches can make me feel ill, so this helps that.
I quickly took my medicine, drinking about half the glass of water. It was very refreshing on my rather dry throat.
"How are you feeling?" My father asked, taking a seat on my bed. I set the glass down on my nightstand, taking a breath.
"I feel better. Do you mind if I go to the school and walk around the halls a bit? Maybe see some of my new teachers and maybe they can help me?"
"Sure thing, let me call one of your friends who can take you since they'll probably know your schedule. Maybe that Haruhi kid."
"Thanks, dad." I smiled to him as he stood, rubbing the top of my head then leaving.
The amount of support he has given me throughout this has been amazing. To have my father back in my life was truly spectacular. As well as a little brother and someone who took the role as my mom seriously.
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I never thought I could have a life like this.
"Y/n, that marvelous young man Kyoya said he'd be honored to help."
My eyes widened slightly at this. Kyoya offered to take me? Isn't he kind of...I don't know, heartless? When we all went out together, he was the least engaging out of everyone. He didn't seem interested.
Well, crap. Better get dressed so he doesn't judge me more than he already does. So I rushed to my closet and put on the best looking casual outfit I had.
~~
"Nervous?" His deep voice said, as the limo bumped slightly. I shook my head, taking a breath.
"I'm sorry, I guess I'm rather confused on why you offered to show me around? You seem like you have better things to do with your time." I looked over to Kyoya, who wore a dark purple sleeveless shirt, along with some black jeans. All designer, of course.
"Don't get me wrong, I probably have a million better things to do."
"Please, Don't sugar coat it." I rolled my eyes, sighing.
"But, I have things to discuss with you. Regarding the host club, the clients, your condition, as well as your relationship with the twins."
"The twins?"
"I'm not dumb, Y/n. other than Tamaki and Haruhi who are the densest people I've ever come to know, I know how Hikaru feels towards you. Kaoru doesn't know because he wants to think his dear brother wouldn't bear such feelings for his girl."
"Well, I'm not dating Hikaru, I'm apparently dating Kaoru."
"I know this, but the reason you lost your memories and got into this mess in the first place is because of your relationship with Kaoru. It's bad enough the girls are starting to catch on, but if they caught wind that both twins sought after you." He pushed up his glasses, taking a deep breath.
"I worry that worse might happen."
"Oh." I frowned, glancing down at my lap.
"I just wanted to warn you. I've noticed that you've began regaining some memories, so when you do come back to yourself, you need to make a choice."
"What are you saying, Kyoya?"
He stayed silent for a second. The air was slowly becoming suffocating as he only stared forward.
"We are at the school. We can finish this later."
What? He can't just leave me hanging like that!
I watched as he stepped out of the limo, and I silently followed. My mind raced as way too many thoughts rushed through.
"Come, let's go see your home room teacher."
~~
"Oh, my!" I walked into the classroom, Kyoya now plastering on a fake smile. At the desk was a women who seemed to be in her late thirties, possibly early forties. Her face lit up when she saw me.
"My dear Y/n, how are you feeling?"
"I'm okay."
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"She hasn't regained all of her memories, and her father thought it'd be a good idea to maybe meet some people she's met after the last time she remembers. So of course, her second year teachers." Kyoya explained, as I nodded.
"Well what a marvelous idea. I'm your homeroom teacher Miss Ito. Your desk is all the way in the back, right between where the hitachiin twins sit."
We spoke for a bit, and she told me a little about herself. She was a very sweet lady, with a very kind heart.
From there, we proceeded to each class, where each teacher was reintroduced to me. They all seemed rather happy to see me, so at least I'm not hated by any of my teachers.
"That's all of them." Kyoya said, looking down at a paper. He then glanced at the staircase, and waved for me to follow. "We have one more stop before we leave."
Raising my brow, I followed him up a few flights of stairs, where we now stood in front of the abandoned music room number three.
No, this is the host club.
"The Club room?"
"You remember?"
"Uh...I think I knew about beforehand..."
He hummed in response, as he opened the door and we both walked inside. The room was empty, aside from a couch in the middle and a few tables. I noticed a darkened door on the other side of the room, that was rather out of place in this bright pink room.
"Take a seat."
"Okay." I was growing rather nervous again, but obliged to his command and sat down on the couch. Kyoya paced for a second, then sat down beside me. He leaned his elbows onto his knees, lacing his fingers together.
"I told you earlier you needed to make a choice."
"Yeah."
"This is it. It's for the good of the host club. I need to tell you of some events that occurred right before the accident. I..." he took a breath.
"I upset you, causing you to storm out and then the events of you losing your memories unfolded."
He actually looked kind of stressed. Was he...was he blaming himself?
"Kyoya..?"
"I'm sorry for what happened. I do take partial blame for the incident. If I would have approached the situation better, things could have turned out differently."
"What happened?"
"We started along customers because of the girls not liking you. I pretty much fired your from the host club, which caused you to grow upset. Between the Kairi and Kaoru situation, we are losing customers drastically."
I watched his stand up, pulling out an album and handing it to me. I carefully opened the black book, seeing various pictures of all of the host club members in different attire.
We all looked so happy.
Near the ending pages I saw some pictures with that one girl with the purple hair. She must be a member as well, then.
"The choice I need you to make is gonna be difficult."
"What is it?"
"You need to decide to break up with Kaoru, and rejoin the host club, or stay with him and stay away from the rest of us. If you choose to stay with him, you'll have to limit all contact to discreet locations outside of school so no one will suspect the relationship. I also know you're rather close to Hikaru, that'll have to stop as well."
My hands started to shake as I held the book, staring at all of the happy photos. I couldn't help but notice how Kaoru looked towards me in some of them. How much love was in his eyes. And I have to give this all up?
"Kyoya?"
"Hm?"
I watched as some droplets fell onto the pages of the album, tears sliding down the sleek pages.
"If that's the case then what was the point in having me remember? You all should have just stayed away from me. I lost Kairi, and now I learn I've made more wonderful friends only to also learn that I can't even be friends with them?"
He sighed, reaching over and wiping the tears off of the book and taking it from me.
"I wouldn't have been able to stop them. This is something I can only speak to you about. So now you have to decide. If you wish to break things off with Kaoru-"
"Why the hell would I want to stay in the club if I'd be miserable? If I have to make the person I love miserable?!"
"Sometimes sacrifices have to be made."
"So all I am is a sacrifice?!" I stood, glaring at him. The hot tears didn't stop flowing, but they were now more of anger, than sadness.
"I'm not saying that."
"No, I'm not the sacrifice. My happiness is. Well how about this, take your stupid host club and shove it up somewhere I can't ever see it again."
He looked baffled, his eyes slightly widening as I stepped back.
"I lost Kairi, and from what I can remember, I refuse to lose Hikaru or Kaoru. And if that means I can't be in the club then I don't care."
"I'm doing this for your well being, not for the club."
"Yeah, Whatever." I scoffed, turning away. My anger filled my vision, making everything seem blurry. "I'm walking home."
"No you're not."
"Just, screw off Kyoya." I stormed out, rushing down the three flights of stairs and runnings outside. I was out of breath, wiping away the tears. How could he be so insensitive? There are other ways. We could figure something else out. I don't have to say goodbye to the twins.
To Kaoru.
"Yo, you okay?"
I turned, hearing someone call out to me. I went to speak, but my vision blurred as I turned, a ringing going through my ears. The last thing I remembered thinking before fully blacking and falling was;
I said I'll always be there for him.
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